Sunday, December 28, 2003

What A Random Day

I was very bored yesterday, my brain was going numb. So I caught the train into town, which was much busy. So decided to go to Canterbury. Pete replied to my offer of free meal and train tickets and off we tottered to Canterbury on the train.

As our train pulled into Canterbury East it went just a tad too far... stranding everyone for a little while as there was no station to get off on to!!!! We headed into town, bought stuff (The Craft, Chicago) and then had a meal at Bar 11, where cute blonde bar man was working... mmm... Had Thai Green Curry, which was FAB!

Returned home, watched some Chicago and then it was off out again. Off , in fact, to Skuba. Lee finally realised I was gay which was scary! Started asking me rather intimate questions!!!!! Ben arrived. Good to see him. He told me some home truths which made me feel a lot better about how this year has turned out. Then we were joined by long missed Becky and Terry along with Becky's much not seen boyfriend Mark, who was cool. Drunk lots, chatted more. Sorry I missed ya at Leas Club Zoe but time just went by so fast!

Anyway Becky and Mark went home, and me and Ben (being gentlemen of the highest degree) accompanyed Terry to Mustangs so she could meet up with her mates. Got some after hours drinks.. mmm... Then me and Ben tottered off down to the Front as it was open till midnight. It looks cool, but I still can't get over it being the Oddfellow Arms. Those were the days!

Got home via muchos expensos taxi. Ouch! With a capital O!

Friday, December 26, 2003


Xmas happened. Family came over. I got presents. I ate lots. Just your regular run of the mill Christmas. Went out with Laura, Matt, Pete, Zoe and Ray to Gee's on Christmas Eve.

2003: The Wasted Year?

I had written a very hatefilled post looking back over the year. But as often happens my optimism and willingness to believe in fairytales came back to me, and I deleted that draft.

I have wasted 2003. Spent 6 months of it with someone who, in the end, didn't love me. Spent the other six months being nice to people who didn't deserve it and being nasty to others who didn't deserve it either. In fact 2003 is the year I most regret so far.

So 2003: trips to London, Brighton, Sheffield, Canterbury and even Planet Thanet; the start of new friendships and the beginning of the end for others. A boyfriend, an ex and some other randoms; a new shallowness touching my soul.

2004. Assert Jaeness over all parts of life. Find someone who actually loves me. Find some gay mates who will actually be there for me. Move out. Take no more fucking shit from anyone. Too long. I shall not allow people to walk all over me.

The barriers I'll break them down
I'll prove myself, I'll stick around
I'll get through it all somehow.

We Remember

Wednesday, December 24, 2003

We're Going Through Changes

Sunday Matt phoned and saved me from myself. We went out and about had lunch and bought stuff. Got his present. Also bought myself books including my fave "The Picture of Dorian Grey" by Oscar Wilde. I sold my last copy in Rome.

Monday nothing much happened.

Tuesday had a team meal at Morehall pub organised by myself. Had loads to eat. Secret Santa got me a big bottle of Stella and some chocolate. Obviously he had read my list! Also got a Justin calendar from Stacey.. mmmm....

that night went down Gee's and saw Zoe, John, Elliot, Matt, Pete, Claire, Kim, Adam, Sam, and Smiley Laura. Twas quite a crowd!!!!! Had lots to drink. Presents: Zoe got me a big keg of Stella and a Will Young calendar... mmmmmmmmmmmmmm........ Zoe's parents got me a box of chocs, Elliot got me Flight of the Navigator, John got me a Cardigans Album, Claire got me some choc. Cheers guys! Twas also Adam's birthday!

Today.. finished work at 12, got promised wine.. headed to foyer to get it.. was quickly forced to sing carols with a whole lot of other unwilling hostages also brought in by promise of wine. AH! Me and Rosanna made an escape to Brickfields and were soon joined by other escapees. Spent afternoon drinking with mates. Me, Rosanna and Henry were last to leave around half four. We are so the new Hardc0re 3 as Laura and Pete are no longer that hardcore.

Happily merry (off my face) I got a lift home with Mum, watched TV, Debbie Debs gave a pressie... will young calendar... can;t enough is what I say!

Off out in mo..

coming soon... Overview of 2003. The crappest year yet? very possibly. I promise myself next year I won't waste on stupid dreams and just fuck with as many peoples heads as poss. Much more fun. I have spent too long being nice to the wrong people and neglecting my mates. No more! I hate being nice. I shan't any more. Time to embrace my selfish and hateful side.

Saturday, December 20, 2003

Same Old Story, and Dear John, So Along

I know, I know, I am blogging a lot recently but hey I ain't got a life anymore so I have the time!

Well done to Elliot who correctly answered my quiz! He gets a free drink when I next see him!

Ok... I have decided I must be just half a person. When I am with someone I am perfectly sane boring individual. When I am single I go off the deep end, do random stuff, plot destruction of world, all sorts...

But I really don't want a relationship anymore (too much hassle, emotional risk etc).

A conundrum. Maybe get myself a couple of himbos and keep them as pets... sounds the best solution to me...


I feel so empty. There isn't any other way of describing my mood at the moment. I think the song "Strange Glue" by Catatonia is the perfect song to reflect it tho and does a lot better describing it as well.

My family are moving to Droitwich. As I don't even know where this is on a map of the UK I shan't be going. Just at the time I want to mope about I have to pick myself up and sort my life out. Great.

I haven't really done much since Monday. Yesterday I was in charge of the entire call centre for an hour, being handed the emergency procedures as all the bosses went to lunch.

I need to go get three more presents today then my Xmas purchasing shall be done.

Anyone doing anything tonight for longer than two hours? I am wigging out here in Lypmne. When is Adam home? Did Laura/wifey say she is home today???

I hate being depressed. I just wanna cheer up. I wish more people could see that it ain't as simple as that. They all just go "Cheer up matey" and "Chin up". It ain't like that. I have a hole in my heart and it won't og away. And ps. this ain't about Gareth. Don't want people to think this is lovesickness. It ain't about anything it's just a state of mind. I wouldn't feel like this if I was with someone, but that's neither here nor there.

Wednesday, December 17, 2003


I hate to admit it. I really don't want to face it. But I feel just like I did in December 2001. Ok. A little worse. I don't think the season has anything to do with it. I think it just so happens crap things happen in the months before Christmas. Oh let's face it. Crap things happen to me all year round, sometimes disguised as good things just so they can knock me down harder.

Today: realised I had messed up works secret santa. Me? Mess something up? Strange huh? Anyway sorted it out.

Found out a girl at work who I work closely with fancies me. This made me feel flattered but annoyed. This colours our friendship somewhat.

It was Staceys birthday which I remembered this year. Maybe it was the hourly countdown over the last 4 weeks that kinda drilled it into my mind.

Xmas spirit almost returned for the first year in the last three. But stubbornly I managed to avoid it. Do you think Santa could bring me a new life for Xmas? Far away from here. With my old mates there of course. But otherwise totally different. That's all I want. Not much? :o(

Tuesday, December 16, 2003

The Housesitter

Since Monday I have been in charge of Debbie-Debs house down in Hythe and her cat named Ed (who by the way is the cooootest cat ever!). Monday twas Mum's birthday so awoke early and gave her a card (To the best Mum in the world, still looking good at 29... *cough*) and a box of stuff from Lush. Also lent her 130 pounds. We drove down to Hythe with Mum listening to Michael Jacksons Number Ones album (constantly going "never tell anyone I am listening to this vile man!") and visitied Debbie Debs house so Debbie could show me the ropes and how to use the complex timed cat feeder.. scary! I asked what number house it was and Mum goes its the "opposite of a good time". Answers on a post card please (I know what it is!)

Stressful day at work... grr... did have fun looking at people in Hatfields kerazy hairstyles. Much amusement.

That night I trundled back into town and went to the Royal Cheriton. Not as bad as I thought. 12 of us from work showed up. We had a drink then wandered over to Savour Aroma for an all you can eat feast. The Chinese food was gorgeous. Me mates Henry and Lorraine were there. henry of course got very drunk and attempted to start a conversation about Saddam's capture. Very unsuccessfully. Good night, which ended traditionally with me and Henry staying till well beyond last orders in the pub!!!!!

Work today was tedious, after work went down to Hythe with intention of staying at Debbie's. But realising it was cold, had no net access, no curtains, and barest amount of furniture I only spent a couple of hours there, watching Buffy and keeping Ed company. He is sooooo sweet and cuddly. I want 3!!!!!!

Fell in love with the tabloid Indy last night after eddie at shop gave me one for free... woo!

Sunday, December 14, 2003

Somebody Better Show Me Out

existentialism and Jean Paul Sartre

The Landmark Forum, and an article about it


What religion should you be?

According to the Belief System Selector, my #1 belief match is Unitarian Universalism.
What do you believe?

Saturday, December 13, 2003

Jae Leads The Way To The G-Spot

I have noticed something worrying at work. No matter what happens, how trivial, or unwork related, I get consulted on everything! If someone wants to get sweets for the tuck box they ask my permission to take the money. When someone has an idea for Xmas decorations they tell me, then somehow they make out it was my plan all along and I end up directing it. WHY??? I don't want these responsibilities... exactly how did I become in charge of tuck box?? Why am I Xmas decorations director for half the rooms? Since when does someone require my permission to organise a work do! This must stop!!!!!!

So yesterday... I managed to charm one of the supervisors into letting me start, and thus finish half an hour early. After work me and David drove up to his girlfriends in Ashford to pick her (Lucy) and her cousin Dave up. Had some chips there, and got rid of her 2 and 1/2 year old son Bradley at his grans.

Lucy's house is like one of those you see on Life Of Grime or How Clean Is Your House? It is thus a place I LOVE! I want my hosue to be like that, so liberally tidy (i.e. covered in trash and belongings so much you can't walk on or even see the carpet)

Anyways... we headed to Hastings, and the house we were staying at in St Leonards. Twas a massive house with lots of rooms, and corridors that go round several corners. Thus obviously I got lost constantly...

Headed into town at about 9. Spent 5 minutes in taxi while those who know Hastings and taxi driver tried to find out where G2 was. I must of seen an article about it or something, cos from my subconcious came "Prospect place?" and immediately the taxidriver goes... "Oh I know where you mean!". Freaky or what???? anyway twasn't called G2 anymore it was called Xcess and it was members only...

So that's how we ended up in Yate's where I lusted over 6'6" god. Then we headed to some dive called G-Spot which was bigger, stickierversion of Jolsons. Only good thing about it was it lead to some laughs of the "Oooo... I think I've found the G-Spot" variety.

After an hour in there we thought we were going insane so went to late night dive.. sorry mean bar... called Heroes where we drank lots got involved with some Spaniards, and I won pool.. by default.. but I woN!!!!!!!!!!!!

Had a good time. Got back to house, watched something on telly... went to sleep. Woke in morning... did hoovering (am so domestic!) and came home. Lucy dropped me and David off by his car, and he turns to me and goes "You know what, I think we need some McDonalds" that must be the second psychic event in less than 24 hours! :op

Got home, and watched double Cagney and Lacey while drinking coke, eating Dairy Milk and reading Guardian. Nothing better in the whole world. Cept a massive sex session with some hot guy/guys.... But really on a Saturday afternoon in Lympne how likely is that??

Tuesday, December 09, 2003

Return Of The Brain Dump

Unconnected jibberish - you have been warned

Being single is Hellish. It really is the loneliest kind of lonely. And it is so dull. Really boring.

Relationships.... do I really want one? Cos last time I had one I wasted six months in it for no apparent reason. Do I even believe in love anymore? (see this)

So I don't want to be single. But I don't wanna get involved in a relationship. What I want is a friendship with sex. No worries about the future, a constant here and now, no expectations relationship. hmm.. interesting.

Ok whens the best time to say "Hi hows things?" to your ex, in hopes of rebuilding friendship... January? Febuary? never?? I don't have any idea when to say hi to Gareth and go out with him and Jon (if they'll have me) for a night out.

It's all soooo confusing.

Monday, December 08, 2003

Then I Got High

Oh dear. Saturday night was my work's Xmas party at the Hotel Burlington. I arrived at seven and escorted Laura and Sarah H in. As the place began to fill up me and Sarah H began making plans for an early get away as it looked like it was going to be very boring.

But it actually turned out quite fun. The meal was lovely (if a tad cold), and thanks to Stacey's friend not showing up we had Gareth's meal as well as our own. Mmmmm...

After the meal, the Folkestone staff started dancing. The TVW staff retired to the drinking lounge for a chat. Angela got extremely drunk... David L and his girlfriend began arranging a blind date for me next Friday and a trip to Hastings to boot. I am a tad worried that I may have agreed to this. Claire showed her boobs. I realised the grapevine at work has finally got in to gear and more people are learning about my sexuality. Which is cool. Was planning to go home before midnight, but I got chatting with Sarah B and Kelly, and along with Henry decided to decamp to Jolsons (may the Gods of good taste forgive me).

There I charmed the doorstaff, danced very gayily to such songs as "I Think We're Alone Now" - Tiffany and YMCA. Some stuff happened which caused me, Sarah B and Kelly to vacate and get a taxi to Sarah's... where we stayed up till half 5 talking, drinking and eating dip. Feel asleep on Sarahs sofa..... woke up at half 7 feeling a lot like I had been hit by a truck. Stumbled into Cheriton, and made it to train station.... fell onto train... got off at Westenhanger and madce slow progress home... very slow and painful progress... and then got into bed and didn't get out of it till about 5pm Sunday evening!

Work today was full of post xmas party gossip. I did agree to a date on Friday, or at very least a drunkern night in a house in Hastings. Oh well.... nothing to lose. This weekend started off badly but it has overall been good for me. My feelings for my relationship with Gareth have become more nostalgic than anything. How naive was I??? Anyway have rediscovered my true love... beer.

On my way home today I walked into... Santa and his reindeer! A true story... turned out it was the local charity santa on his sled (mounted on a music playing truck) with reindeer about to go out collecting... scary!!!!!!


Saturday, December 06, 2003

I Think I Better Leave Right Now

Friday I went to Lakeside with Zoe, John and Elliot. It was fun, and rather productive. I bought Xmas presents; a Lush gift pack for Mum, a life sized Homer Simpson cut out for Tony, a Roger Rabbit DVD for Elliot, Rat Race DVD for John and Britney's new album for Laura. And some books and mags for myself.

Stupid comment of the day, while looking at the hamster leashs (!) in Time 4 Pets; "What would anyone need a Hamster leash for?" - Jae. Erm well let's think.... leashing a hamster perhaps?? D'oh!!!! I am silly sometimes!

Yesterday was a good day emotionally again, although was most unhappy with babysitting the twins as they were bloody bastards last night.

Glad that I have sent off for some eye care vouchers at work. My eye sight is getting quite awful now. It is not just annoying but a little frightening. I'll be glad to get to the opticians.

I am off the the Hotel Burlington in a while for the work do. Not actually looking forward to it. Today has been a bad day. Hopefully the work do will be fun... well with Angela and Stacey there it will be hard not to have a little laugh at least!

Thursday, December 04, 2003

More Than You Can Ever Know

Today was my first good day since Wednesday last week. More decorations up at work. I have tomorrow off to go Xmas shopping. Saturday night is the work "Dinner dance". I am on what is being described as the dregs table (as in low life scum) cos we are all alcoholic, loud and obnoxious. And we shall live up to this title. There's gonna be me, Stacey, her boyfriend (who is using my spare ticket), Angela, Judith, Claire, and a few of the other usual suspects. The Burlington won't know what hit it.

I don't want a lot for Christmas, this is all I'm asking for:

1) to see my mates, and have a good laugh

2) to dance to cheesy xmas songs at as many xmas parties as possible.

3) to be happy and enjoy myself for a change.

Now listening to some proper rock (Kiss, Van Halen etc) cos it is very cool!

Wednesday, December 03, 2003

An Open Letter

Dear Jason

I thought I'd drop you a line, as I kinda of know what you're feeling, and felt I could be of some help. One week ago, things in your life returned to normal. A happy period came to an end and you have found yourself alone again.

It is now time to stop being miserable. Being sad and depressed just to prove to yourself and everyone around you, that you love and miss Gareth is not a recipe for happiness or self respect. (And don't try to deny that part of you is depressed just cos you would feel bad if people saw you had got happy so quickly and made assumptions about your feelings)

I know you don't want anyone in the future to say that it was a good thing that Gareth dumped you, so you want to remain depressed forever, but time to let go of being so darn proud!

Gareth dumped you, and it's time to move on. He ain't sitting at home being depressed about losing you. So why are you?

Move on, get over it... get a life!

Lots of love,

Jae x x

Monday, December 01, 2003

The End Of The Night Never Comes Too Quickly

Was awoken at 4 this morning by Angel bringing a live, and huge, mouse into my room... lovely...

Erm... today.... Rosanna declared her undying love for me after I betrayed my team and helped Correspondence put up their Xmas decoration (best decorated offices wins a prize!). Patricia was back from long term illness, and informed me I had secured my place in heaven by doing a late for her on New Years Eve... tis not like I have anything better to do before 6 on that day.

Gavin stole my Nemo toy at work, and left me a ransom note.... noooooooo.....

Life is crap has become my new mantra... do I have to go to work tomorrow?? me no wanna!

weekend already planned to be boring... Friday day starts promisingly with some Xmas shopping... but that is quickly followed by babysitting, then Saturday night taken with work do. Joy...

Settling back into singledom. Crap. Now I remember why I spend most of my time with randoms.. better than being alone. Ate no chocolate today and one apple.. Jackie at work was most worried!

Sunday, November 30, 2003

Laying It To Rest

God, I am so glad that yesterday is over. That was one horrible day and night.

Ste phoned lasted night which was nice of him. We spent hours catching up.

I have decided the best way to cheer up is to forget about the last six months. I should just carry on where I left off in May. So May - November 2003 goodbye! I shan't be moping around on this blog about it anymore.

Xmas is looking to be just like the last two Xmas' have been; crap. I can not wait for January. I am not going to be expecting Xmas to cheer me up this year, which was the mistake I made last year.

Planning lots of distractions over the next month, such as shopping trips, trips to London to meet mates, random trips to far off places, and also working my socks off. May do what Gavin and Jo do at work and work all day from 8am - 6pm. More money in January for me.

Saturday, November 29, 2003

Need To Know

Yesterday after work I headed out with Zoe to the Leas Club, Elliot was there already and it was good to be out with my mates. Ray and his brother Steve turned up shortly after (Ray is Zoe's new thingy [don't know what they are calling themselves.. probably Zoe and Ray no doubt]). Rob, two randoms, and Arron turned up as well. Had an ok night. Drunk lots. Got called a slut and a manwhore. Hmm....

Zoe was very sweet and bought me a big bar of Dairy Milk to cheer me up.

Today was a 'orrible day. Had to go to Gareth's to pick up some stuff I had left there. On train from Westenhanger to Ashford there was a crazy lady (who I got the joy to sit opposite). She jumped off train while it was just about to start to stop. Silly lady.

Got to gareth's went in picked up bag, left quickly, locking door behind me. I wander off down street thinking my bags slightly heavier than it should be. I stop and upon invesigating discover i have a DVD and video in there I didn't put in it. It was a nice thought of Gareth's but it just made things seem even worse.

So I gott'd trains home (I have been on 5 trains today!). Only good thing today was the cute bloke I saw on the way home from London the other week, was on the train again, and this time we both got off at Westenhanger. Turns out he lives in Lympne. Cool.

Otherwise it has been a crappy day of a crappy week. Now I am off to eat lots of chocolate and watch TV. Woo.... I spose this is what I have to look forward to in the foreseeable future, as Zoe is now otherwise engaged (which is grreat don't get me wrong) and I have nowt better to do.

Thursday, November 27, 2003

But I don't have the right to be with you tonight

Life is shit.

After the horrible pain of yesterday, my love hurt has become a dull pain. Which is far worse. It hurts and yet a part of me doesn't want the hurt to go because it feels that if I stop hurting, I'll somehow lose a part of what I had. If that makes sense?

Went to work today. Cancelled my holiday. Gave away my other ticket to the Xmas do. Generally put on a smiley face and pretended there wasn't a big black hole in my head.

Mum came home today. Don't know where she's been for the last six days. She gave me a hug, first hug with my mum in many a year.

Do you know what's really horrible? It's the fact I wanna text/phone him and go "God I feel crap" or "I need a hug". And sometimes I even reach for the phone to do so, before my brain reminds me that I can't. That he isn't my boyfriend. And then that opens up the whole "I ain't ever gonna get a hug from him again" can of worms. And I don't think I have the time to write about that!

Life is, as always, shit.

PS thanks you everyone who has phoned/texted/messaged/commented it means a lot to know I have some good mates and has really helped keep my chin up a little. big hugs and don't worry about me, you know how melodramatic I am, I'll sort myself out, just gotta move on. Even if I don't want to. :o(

Wednesday, November 26, 2003

Come Back To What You Know

I don't really know what to say. Gareth dumped me today. I had kinda been expecting it. Doesn't make it any easier. How foolish I was to let happiness in.

Did I expect that the world would suddenly start treating me ok?? What a fuck up Jay. You really are a fool and also pretty useless... can't even keep a relationship going for longer than six months.

So normal service resumes, waiting for some fictional knight in shining armour to come and speed me off to some fictional eden. No more of living in the real world for me as that ain't got me no where. Back to fantasy... hmmm....maybe I should give Rome a second chance??

off to continue sobbing into a pillow... thanks Zoe and Ben for the phone calls (altho why Ben was phoning I don't know... who told him???)

Monday, November 24, 2003

And I Smile

I do like my work. Not the actual job itself but the people there are so nice and funny that you can't help but like them.

Stacey and I headed to the pub at lunch and had a goss. Henry was there and I managed to bring his horoscope to life (It ended with "Spend more time with J") He he....

Organised secret santa at work today (I get all the fun jobs!) and I got Paul who is easy to buy for (in his Gift idea section he wrote "A can of Carling and some scratch cards".... this is the easiest present ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Sunday, November 23, 2003

Either Way

I know I am a selfish bastard. I know I ain't the nicest, or the smartest guy out there. But sometimes I wish fate would just give me a break.

Anyway enough of my self conscious and immature ego stroking. How are you? I have been to Gareth's and me, him and Jon had a Saturday night in watching girlie movies (that's the Blockbuster staff's verdict on them anyway).

Today I went on a bus.... woo...

Yes my life is one non stop rollercoaster of emotion and fun.... or not....

Saturday, November 22, 2003

A Multitude Of Sins

Thursday I went to Cineworld with Zoe, John, and Elliot to see Love Actually. It was ok, but really depressing. Which I don't think it was meant to be. Oh dear!

Friday was a Children In Need Fun Day, and as per my social committee responsiblities, I managed to raise about £40 quid from my two pet projects; a book sale and a table football tournament. Over all the office looks set to have raised over £350 pound!.

I got off work early as I had volunteered to help man the Children in Need phones! I went up with Stacey and Lorraine and David, Rosanna and Julie came up in David's car. We made good progress to Hatfield so decided to stop off at South Mimms services for a break. This was a stupid error. The traffic was so awful when we left it took us 40 minutes to go... 100 yards!!!!!!!!!!

By the time we got there we had 3 minutes till the lines opened..... panic! The calls for our area were being handled by our companies HQ, and it was good to finally meet some people who we chat to every day, friends and collegues who had until now been faceless voices on the phone. Being in an offshoot office can leave you feeling rather isolated.

We were there flying the flag for Folkestone office for 3 1/2 hours the quickest 3 1/2 hours in my life. The calls were good natured, but alas we had some stupid people. Most stupid of which was one woman who phoned and (she was a grown adult by the way) asked if she could speak to Busted "cos she has just seen em on the telly". She seemed generally shocked when I said they weren't in our call centre! Madness! Lots of "I LOVE SHANE RITCHIE" calls and men phoning up and offering hundreds of pounds for a Will Young autograph "for their wives". Yeah right mate....

Anyway was most exciting and we even had food bought for us,... mmm.... and really hot guy serving drinks... mmmmmmmm..... Had a good laugh with Stacey and Lorraine on way there and back.

Wednesday, November 19, 2003

All This In My Head

Dude Where's My Country by Michael Moore is grrreat... but have some reservations about expressing my undying love for Mr Moore.... see Spinsanity.

Christmas pressies.... need to get buying....... Amazon

While the rest of the country has said their final farewells to an evil law Kent retains the spirit of Section 28 within it's school curricullum. Kent is the county I have lived in all my life. And for the first time I feel a lot like leaving for good. Of all the places to keep it.. it has to be the county I live in... bloody Kentish Conservatives..... I think it is the most stupid law... no homosexual wants to promote homosexuality.. we just don't want gay children to be left without infomation and help during a very difficult and scary period in their lives. I know straight people will not have experienced it but I am sure that they can understand what it's like to realise you are not only different to everyone else, but are different to what you thought you were. Gay kids with the info are going to be far more "normal" than gay kids without.

Monday, November 17, 2003

it's the price i am willing to meet

So after completing my last blog I got myself a train from Westenhanger to Ramsgate and dossed at Gareth's house waiting for him to come home. We had dinner and headed for Canterbury and Bar 11 (our second home?). Managed with an amazing amount of flair to spill lager down me. Joy! Jon and his mates Karen and Malcolm (last seen at Jon's birthday trip to London). There was a very amusing lady who after screaming "COCAINE" at the top of lungs was dragged (literally) from the bar andthen after much banging on windows was sat upon by someone, he looked like a bouncer but maybe he was just some passerby, who happened to feel the need to restrain her. She was a plonker so I can't blame him.

Saw Greg and his friend from London Pride there as well. After lots of drinking in Bar 11 we headed for Girls And boYs. Now I know that I said it was crap last time, but after going to Caddies and there being only 3 people there last time it was on, we HAD to go this time or just not bother clubbing at all. It was some army theme night and I only just managed to avoid getting covered in camoflage paint (a lucky escape!).

Turned out the night wasn't as awful as before. In fact with the help of some light refreshments (i.e. lots and lots of beer!) I danced! Amazing!!! I saw Katy from work, and hugged her. I am sure she was pleased about that.. or not..

Anyway, after getting in car to go home my memory begins to fade....

Sunday we got up and rushed around getting ready for lunch with Jon in Bar 11! When I went to get some drinks Angela (the owner) looks at me and goes "Not you again!". Anyway had gorgeous roast dinner with Turkey (early Thanksgiving?). If you are ever in Canterbury and fancy a nice, inexpensive meal in pleasant surroundings you can't go wrong with Bar 11. And no it is not a gay bar! It has families and old married couples there during the day!!!

After that we went shopping, I bought Beetlejuice on DVD (rocking!!!!!!!!). Me and Gareth went back to his and watched Finding North, a gift I'd picked him up when I was in Prowler Soho on Friday.

All in all a nice weekend.

I didn't get my job that I applied for. Was warmed by the fact that neither did anyone else. We were all too rubbish for the job!!!!!!!!

Right must dash off to a Social Committee meeting..... hmm.. I'd thought I'd resigned.....

Saturday, November 15, 2003

When You Wish Upon A Star

As is tradition on this blog at times of the year when I expect pressies I put on a ***Wish List***. Just so anyone who wants to buy me something knows what I want!!

he he...

Ok so yesterday. I headed for town and got my hair cut, then caught a train to London. On the train I had to listen as a Christian school teacher tried to convert a Buddhist Nepalese mother and child. (Folkestone has a high concentration of Nepalese as the Gurhkas are stationed in Shornecliffe Barracks). It was cringe worthy stuff.

I arrived in London and headed for Soho (shocking but true!). Bought stuff in Prowler Soho, and as I left was confronted by a Madame "Wanna come in and see some of my girls for free?" "Erm.. not really, I am gay" (which should of been obvious by my coming out of the biggest gay shop in Soho....) "Oh... I see... that's.. er... nice..."

I went to Tower Records and HMV and spent hours lusting in Bookers and Waterstones over books... bought some Xmas gifts. Got lost in a cavernous department store I always forget the name of (and always get lost in, it's a grand tradition!).

Wandered around touristy locales marvelling at the beauty of London on a winters day. Well it was more autumnal yesterday. The Sun shone thru the trees on the Mall, which had British and American flags flying all the way up and down its length (there's a state visit by President Bush Jnr next week). Even the centre of evil (Buckingham Palace) looked rather glorious. And was taken by the Pelicans in St James Park. I've never noticed them before.

One thing... High and Mighty on Oxford Street is the most awful High and Mighty I have ever been in!! Shall stick to Brighton and Croydon for clothes shopping from now on.

Headed back to Folkestone on train staring at most gorgeous guy in world who for a brief while made life just that bit more beautiful. He left the train at my home station Westenhanger, off for some amazingly romantic adventures I am certain.

I carried on to Folkestone and meet up with Zoe and Claire (back from uni for weekend). headed to Claire's, where I reaquainted myself with my seat. Don't ask. Then went to Zoe's and saw her Mum and Chips (her cat).

Once Zoe was ready we went to my house, I got ready, then we headed for Spoons had a meal, went to Skuba to meet... Ben. We then headed to Leas Club where Zoe saw Gem and me and ben spotted Matt. Then twas home via very scary Romney Marsh roads (dropped Ben off home in Palmarsh).

Thursday, November 13, 2003

And I Smile As They Are Taking Me Over

Sunday: met Gareth at Skuba and we sorted somethings out, then headed to Spoons and saw John, Zoe, Elliot, Pete, and Kim. Got last train home.

Monday. Nada

Tuesday. Nada

Wednesday. Nada

Today was my second stage interview... scary.... will soon know if I got the job or not.

Have day off tomorrow.. off to London, if you wanna come or wanna meet up shout!

Saturday, November 08, 2003

So Sorry

Wednesday I worried about my interview. Thursday was filled with my stressed out last minute work on presentation. It went a lot better than I thought (which really wasn't that difficult). After work Jon came and picked me up and we headed to Gareth's for a meal.

I dn't know what I have done to upset him but I must of done something as Gareth has been very short with me of late. I feel rather crappy at mo.

Anyway enough of my stupidity. Meal was lovely, although I was dead tired and not very good company (am I ever?).

Friday I find out that I have to do the whole presentation all over again this Thursday as the interviewers couldn't make up their minds. This is so wrong!!!!!

After work I headed home, Zoe came and picked me up. We headed for town, meet up with John and Elliot and went to the Leas Club, where we meet up with Rob, Arron and *cue drumroll and red carpet* Pete. Also saw James Price which was rather random. Arron goes "James this is Jae, Jae this is James"

"We know each other already"

"Really... how??"

"It's a long story..."

It certainly is! He he...

Right off to try to reconnect with my teenage melancoly.... (sp????)

Tuesday, November 04, 2003

My Head Hurts But I Don't Know Why

Sunday, while Gareth worked, I headed off to Canterbury for a few hours to browse. Which is all you can do for most of the morning, I was soon to discover. Although shops such as Waterstones don't sell anything till 11 a.m. on a Sunday they do open before that for some browse time. This is a very clever move on their part. I ran in there, grabbed a book, headed to the check out, before i overheard that it's only "browse time". Being too embarassed to replace book and come back when they properly opened I wandered round pretending to browse.

I don't really shop. I buy. I normally know exactly what I want before I arrive, get it and leave. Impulse purchases are rare. So getting this extra time to browse, I started to shop. Before I knew it I had a pile of book as long as my arm and twice as high. Away with my budget and free time for the rest of my pay month!!! Among purchases: Dude Where's My Country by my political hero Michael Moore and the Darwin Awards 3. Even more amusing ways people have killed themselves. He he...

Then a quick shop in HMV relieved me of more of that weighty money in my pocket. Halloween 5 (truely awful... 4 was good for a sequel, 5 totally tosh.. I loved it) and Halloween Resurrection (for the post Blair Witch generation que bad camera angles). Watched Final Destination on Sunday night with Gareth. Funny how I can watch all sorts of horror moviesfor hours and not get scared while that movie and it's sequel terrify me! Love them.

Monday got train to work from Gareths as per usual.

My interview/presentation for new job is on Thursday at half one. The other three candidates are really taking it seriously. They seem very competitive. I am nervous (but then again I worry about EVERYTHING) but shall do my best. And try not to let it worry me so much!

Mum is away. Haven't seen her in bloody ages. She has taken to phoning me. You wouldn't think we lived in the same house!

It is Guy Fawkes Night tomorrow (again, it comes around quickly!) but for once I shall most likely be staying in swotting up on my presentation (had a free choice of presentation.. have chosen the Water Cycle).

Saturday, November 01, 2003

Folkestone is Doomed!

Firstly.. much intriuge regarding new job. Everyone seems to have chosen the person they are supporting for the job. I do have supporters.. Woo!

Halloween Fun Day went off well. But feeling really rather badly treated by the staff I decided to resign from the Social Committee. I don't give my free time just to be insulted.

Went on a "WORK NIGHT OUT" last night. Not many bothered to turn up but there was Angela, Judith, Lorraine, Henry, Rosana (I've got her number) and Alex. Then caught train to Ramsgate and stayed with Gareth.

Michael Howard. My MP. Tory Leader Elect. I say NO!!!! He is the one politician who lives up to all the stereotypes. He is smarmy, and he will go out of his way to avoid answering the questions. And if he becomes leader the chances of us Shepway Lib Dems of winning the next election become minimal!!!

Wednesday, October 29, 2003

For Service and Devotion

Got train to work from ramsgate again on Monday. Halloween preparations are gathering pace at work (I'm organising as always.... how many jobs do I have at work?? Floorwalker, Fire Warden, Social Committee Representative, and some people want to make me Union Rep)

Nothing interesting has happened so far this week.....

Except!!!!!!!!!! IDS (the leader of the Conservative party) has been forced into a vote of confidence. If he loses my MP Michael Howard might stand for leader. Scary! Vote IDS!!! Howard is truely evil!!!!!!!!! At least IDS has someting of an aura of decency about (compared that is to Howard).

Right must dash... off to work....

Sunday, October 26, 2003


Wednesday night Gareth stayed over, Thursday I went out with John and Zoe to Ashford. I came second in bowling (woo!) and Zoe bought a bowling pin... very cool. We braved rain and hail to get to McDonalds and Spoons before heading to Cineworld to see... Finding Nemo... again.

Friday I applied for a new job in my company, wish me luck! Also wandered to train station caught train to Ramsgate, watched telly and ate Gareth's food. He and Jon had gone to London for the day and got back about 1 am. Skipped overtime on Saturday as was very tired. After as cooked breakfast (mmm...) Gareth and I spent the rest of the day doing.. nothing at all! Watched some movies (the Living End!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!).

Also saw I Think I Do with the gorgeous Alexis Arquette.

Now watching England Vs Samoa in the Rugby World Cup.. can't decide who I want babies with... the English team or the Samoan....

Wednesday, October 22, 2003


Yes people you may look on that and say "Ooo...." I am feeling rather happy at the moment. Why? Life is grand. I can't list all my friends just by toes and fingers anymore. I have finished off any hint of fiscal problems with the taking out of a loan and the opening of a savings account. I have a boyfriend!! I can go on and on telling you how good life is at the mo.

So here is what I want to say: thank you. Thank you to all my real life friends who read this. And all of those who don't. To all my online friends who have listened to my whinges and whines and put up with my annoyingly self centred outlook on life.

So have a drink on me.... well ok.. not with my money... but buy yourself a drink and pretend it's from me to you as a thank. And if you don't drink... shame on you! :op

Interesting things... am having a meeting with the Director of my division at work.. hmm.... I've only been there 8 months! Angel is missing again. Probably going out tomorrow night. Forgot I was supposed to be moving to Ashford with Sarah. I am absent minded.....

Monday, October 20, 2003

Fireman Jae

Oops. I forgot to tell you about the most exciting part of the week! On Friday I did some first aid fire fighter training (you what?). I got to put out fires and stare at cute fire instructor (drool running down my face as I keenly answered all his questions) for the whole morning. I am now fire marshall for my team. Woo!

Ok Saturday Jon, Gareth and I went off to Canterbury, and had a few drinks at Bar 11. I felt really old in there! (am only twenty so that is saying something!) gareth and I briefly went to the Beer Cart Arms which was very scary for a change. (Scary - straight)

After that we headed to Caddies where there were like 3 other people. Oh yes looks like Girls and Boys (that scary, scary place. Also very hot) has stolen all the business. So we left early, got a kebab and Gareth stayed over mine.

Sunday Mum was in one of her moods (involves lots of cleaning) so we made an early escape, headed for Canterbury, did some shopping *Jae proudly glances at his copy of Halloween 4)* and had some fish and chips. Mmmm...

Went to Asda's where Gareth bought the biggest TV in the whole world! He he... had fun getting that in his little car. Got to his, had dinner, watched Crush (another weepy movie) and Catch Me If You Can. Went to sleep. Awoke at some fiendishly early hour (6 in the morning is scary!) and I walked to Ramsgate station and got the train to work.

Floorwalked all day and was rushed off my feet. Just watched Halloween 4 which is not as bad as I feared.

Saturday, October 18, 2003

Strange Days

Ok week has been.... slow. Exciting things included:

Wednesday me and Zoe went to see Finding Nemo in Ashford which ROCKED!!!

Thursday me, Jon and Gareth went out in Folkestone. Went to Skuba, Chambers, and the Leas Club. Hugged Lee the owner of Skuba... ekk!!!

Friday. Realised that Sexy New Guy is the guy Gareth used to stalk in Manston Tesco's. What a small world!

Went out with Zoe and Elliot to Chambers, Leas Club and Spoons and also saw Jodie and Russ.

Saturday... work... blah!!!

Off out again tonight...

Monday, October 13, 2003

Critically Thinking

Saturday consisted of: work (surprise!!) and a nice evening over Gareth's. The family is back from the villa in Spain.

I am begin to feel really detached from my mates in Folkestone, can't wait for Wednesday when I will have enough money to go out and about properly again!

Sunday me and Gareth meet Jon in Canterbury and we had a very gorgeous roast dinner at Bar 11, followed by dessert (oh how civilised!). Mine was a white chocolate cheese cake with fresh toblerone topping. Exactly how fresh Toblerone differs to none fresh I have no idea. But it was orgasmiccally good!!! mmmmmm.....

We went to cinema afterwards, and found only thing on was Cabin Fever. Jon politely declined to join us in watching it. Gareth and I regretted our decision to watch it even before we saw it. We felt we should of offered to come watch a DVD with Jon. Our regret only grew after we watched it as we realised it was a great big pile of poo. It is somewhere between About Schimdt and *grates teeth* The Hole on my list of worst movies of all time. It was piffle, the meanderings of a particular gross child. Not scary. Not funny. Not worth the price of a ticket.

Saturday, October 11, 2003

Space to Let

Having no money, credit or time this week to do anything beyond go to work, work and go home. I have little to report beyond:

1) was told off by train conductor for using Westenhanger and ruining his plans to have the Westenhanger services discontinued.

2) cute guy at work keeps saying hello... yay!

3) me and Stacey are planning night out for Friday involving much drinking and fun

4) have decided the Conservatives are not to be worried about anymore. They couldn't win a general consensus let alone a general election.

5) erm... am bored.... bored...and doubly bored.. haven't seen any of my Folkestone mates in way too long...

Monday, October 06, 2003

Never An Easy Way

I always forget how much hard work relationships are, and no matter how many I have I don't think I'll ever get used to the fact that relationships are all about compromise. This weekend I decided my current relationship was worth the hassle of all the shit that comes with sharing your life with someone. *fill space with sickenly sweet lovey-dovey stuff*

So Saturday me and Gareth stayed in and I cooked a meal for us to eat while we watched I Am Sam, which was quite good. Made me cry (finally something that proves I am gay... I cry at movies!! Woo!!!)

Sunday. We headed to Gareth's to get his suit (he had an interview today) and then headed into Canterbury to get him a shirt and have a Starbucks. Stopped at Sainsburys and got some stuff for dinner, and finally headed back to mine via the scenic route (Alkham Valley).

By five dinner was ready and Zoe and Jon had arrived. It was very nice and thank you to them for coming!!

Jon disappeared and returned with Saul (and some beer.. mmmm....). After dispensing with beer Zoe headed home and us four blokes headed for Maidstone and the Queen Anne. (Not so interesting fact said pub is about 100 yards from where I was born! WOO!). It was quiet but nice (quiet is always good on a Sunday). We were joined by Neil (see London Pride) and a French guy.

Then some guy in leathers arrives and like children we run to the other end of the pub for a better view. Some (Gareth and Saul) hide at the back and giggle lots as guy begins to strip. It was most fun, specially when he said stuff to ME!!!! I turned him down as I am a wimp but hey... who cares??

he he..

Work was hell today. I was floorwalker for the newbies and have never been so busy. Did get an uninvited (but not unwanted) "Hello Jason How are you?" and a cute smile from Sexy New Guy (yay finally we have a replacement for Sexy Dutch Guy!!!)

Saturday, October 04, 2003

And Ye Harm None Do What Thou Will

That above statement summarises just about everything I believe in. I am constantly confounded by why very few other people seem to regard this statement as fundamental to a happy life. Why does it matter to anyone if I choose to marry someone of my sex? What does matter if I choose to have more than one spouse? What does it matter if I choose freedom over security?

Sometimes I worry that both sides of the politcal spectrum have missed out on what really matters. Pushing back Government controls and giving people real choice in how they live their lives. Society is but a grouping of like minded individuals. Why can't several hundred peaceful societies co-exist in one nation? Working towards a goal of peace and prosperity. Something only the ignorant, the afraid and the stupid would argue against.

*rant over*

OK... do I just attract wierdos or something? Do I just have this look that screams "TALK TO ME!!". Got on the train yesterday and sat opposite an extremely cute Italian, with the nicest bum ever... (glimpsed as he moved some bags). And he just looks at me and goes "Wanna see my Prada shoes?" "Not really" I say. "Wanna see my Prada trousers?" I don't think I need to go any further wth this conversation. It would only be me who sat opposite the gay, Italian, Prada enthusiast. Joy.

Yesterday the cutest bloke at work (one of the new guys) was buddied up with me for final training. Ooo... he is ssssoooooooo gorgeous.... I was most happy sitting there being teacher.. he he...

Gareth staying over at mo... yay!!!! Oh you are all invited to a cordial dinner at mine tomorrow.. around five. Followed by trip to Queen Anne for a drink and possible stripper action. How can you resist?

Thursday, October 02, 2003

Home, Home On The Range

Last night I was delighted, no, thrilled to be awoken at 2am from a most peaaceful slumber by an Angel (cat) creeping (loudly) through my blinds. You can only imagine my joy to discover she had brought me a friend, a very much alive mouse. Oh the fun I had kneeling on my bed screaming like a girl (hmmm... that is actually normally quite fun) as she playfully tossed the mouse up to me. How lovely...

It is a pink fun day at work tomorrow.. am I the only gay man not to have anything pink to wear???

Go see Peter Tatchell's take on the criminalisation of underage sex (as in sex between two 15 year olds). Bloody Government.. always interfering.

Wednesday, October 01, 2003

Hold Very Tight Please

Ok firstly forgot to say I saw Chris from February at a supermarket in Dover on Monday. Good to see him.

Today I have mostly been investigating the new train situation. Instead of running once every so often they now run once every hour from my local station... woo! So I caught the train into town to get my haircut. On the train I noticed everyone seemed to be listening to one conversation in the carriage so I tuned in....

"So they like, tied me up and and all that right and started really laying into me. 'Cause the CCTV didn't pick up nothing but my legs waving in air." Ah he really didn't realise everyone on the carriage was mesmerised by his cnversation... he he.. I think if he continued to talk so loudly on a crowed train for much longer I would of tied him up and beat him.

Anyway thanks to Connex and our conservative parish councillor Shirley Newlands for getting trains to run so regularly!!!

In the news: blah blah blah blah... same old same old... abused children, complaining car owners, the fact that stupid parents still want to not immunise their kids against a bloody awful illness... somedays I think I could make up the news and get it fairly spot on...

Tuesday, September 30, 2003

I Feel Shitty

Today I feel like a bear with a thorn in his paw. Grumpy, tired, and after blood. Don't quite know why as everything seems ok. Oh well.

So Angel came back last week! Forgot to tells ya! She is even sillier and more like a small dog than she was before. As soon as she got home she walked to the shop with me. Although I have noticed she far prefers Gareth to me this weekend!!!! And she spent Sunday night "playing" with my blinds and sending me and Gareth up the wall!!!!!!!!!!

And the news is: I may well be moving to Ashford to share a flat/house with Sarah. Who? I hear you say! Remember Sarah? Used to work with Chris? Everyone got very drunk at her birthday? No? Oh well... Anyways out of the blue she texted me on Friday and thus the planning begun... woo... watch this space.. well not this one... the ones above this one...

Yesterday I went to Bluewater with Gareth. Had a pizza express. He has gone to work now, thus home. :o(

But to brighten my day here is a pic of his gorgeousness.... and Gareth too.... :op (that's a joke before any of you anonymous posters out there start on me!)

Plus a pic of Ben, Jon, Zoe and my thumb at Brighton pride.

Sunday, September 28, 2003

You Make Me Feel. Mighty Real.

Ok. Hello. How are you these days??

Wednesday: me and Zoe went done Gee's then headed up to the Leas Club to meet with Jodie and Russell. During pool me and Russell (ok so more Russell than me) beat the girls 2-1. yay!!

thursday: Zoe came over and we had a kebab.

Friday: It was school fun day at work. I won a bottle of wine for best dressed man! Woo!!!!!!!!! It was lots of fun. Afterwards we all headed to the pub. Keeping wiith my tradition of drinking lots when on work dos I got very drunk and came out to the correspondence team... Gareth picked me up and stayed over mine..

Incidentally family went to Spain.

Saturday. After me and Gareth headed to Jon's picked him up and made our way to Brighton... again. Went to Charles Street and Legends. I went early and slept in car while they headed for Envy.

Sunday. Did lunch at Jon's (very nice thanks) and had a few drinks down Bar Vasa... Am I an alcoholic? Do I care?

Maybe have some major news in next post.. keep reading!

Tuesday, September 23, 2003

Ooo.... Lib Dems Are The New Black

There I was reading through my links having updated them I went to the always clever Forceful and Moderate. And realised that I had seen her picture in the Guardian yesterday! Woo! Well done.

Monday, September 22, 2003


**Check Out My Updated Links**

When work finished on Friday I wasn't particularly looking forward to the weekend.... it was all just so busy!

But after a bit of freshening up I headed for Folkestone Central to meet Laura and Zoe for our trips to Canters. While waiting at the station I got a nasty message from Tony (my stepdad). This bodes well for the weekend I thought.

Laura and Zoe showed up, we caught the train to Dover and changed there for Canters. On the train we were joined by a drunk. Joy. He was only with us for a couple of stations but it was a couple too many...

We meandered along the city wall and met Matt outside Fenwicks and sauntered to Bar 11. John and Elliot turned up (reluctantly) and we then headed to Alberrys which was nice. Gareth arrived and we stopped quickly at Oranges before becoming very indecisive and wandering the back streets till John took charge and we went to Simple Simons (or should that be Simply Students?). After that, just before we all parted ways, I gave away my beloved denim jacket for scrap to Matt. Farewell my companion... *breaks down in tears*

At Gareth's I briefly met his sister katie before collapsing into bed...

in the morning gareth went to work, Katie went out and I wandered into Ramsgate in search of a Guardian... nowhere does it bar petrol stations... scary!!! Got back, watched the Two Towers and then gareth arrived and we prepared for a night out... by drinking copious amounts of vodka and Pepsi Max. told Ben a little white lie that we weren't going to Soho for diplomatic inter friends group reasons....

And then we waited. And we waited. And waited a little bit more... till finally Jon and Saul arrived to whisk us off to the bright lights of London for an evening. We got there about 10, parked on Waterloo bridge, admired the gorgeous views of the Thames at night and headed for Soho. Everyone followed me as I knew where we was going.... this is getting scary!!

Got to G-A-Y Bar around 10.30, where I saw absolutely most sexiest bar man ever.. again... woo.... and also finally met Marc (all too briefly). He was very nice from what small amount of time I spent with him could reveal...

Before I knew it we were off again heading to see Westlife perform at G-A-Y club. G-A-Y is just a giant Pipers. That is not a good thing.... Anyway got most drunk, Westlife came on and Mark had a hat and glasses on so I couldn't oogle so lost interest there... did manage to gain three glow in the dark whistles tho... soon I realised via text that Stephen was in the club, but didn't get to meet him as was dragged out as soon as Westlife finished....

After a stop at Leicester Square McDonalds we headed home.

Sunday morning and I was a little bit worse for wear.. we got ready and Katie headed out to pick up Gareths auntie for a meet the family meal.... eek!

So it was that we met at Pizza Hut. Gareth, Auntie Di, Katie and I. It wasn't so scary. Actually went well I think. After that we headed to the seafront, watched a Sea Cadet Band, some Kite Surfing (most cool) and sat at a lounge bar and had a drink. After a little wander around the harbour it was time to go home.

It gets harder and harder leaving at the end of each weekend and saying goodbye to Gareth.

he dropped me off at Zoe's we went to Blockbusters... got NOTHING! So went home and watched her copy of Just Married... mmm... Ashton.... then she drove me the rest of the way home...

Now to break a blog rule it is urgent I write about my babies (see also cats). Angel is missing. 5 days now..... I am very, very worried... specially after seeing a dead cat as I walked home today. :o( Me miss her muchly. Cos she is my ickle baby. :o((((( But Millie seems very very happy with this chain of events and is lapping up the affection for all she is worth. Bitch...

Shall launch Jae's Emergency Missing Cat Procedure tomorrow.... last used when Millie ran away as we got Angel...

Work today lots of new people started and for once there are 4 cuties starting... eye candy at last! Finally!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok must try to be more professional...

ANGEL if you are reading this. Please come home. :o(

Thursday, September 18, 2003

Days Like These

I got to work today and knew something was up immediately.. I reached for my stress duck and found it graffiti-ed!! On the bottom someone (Russell!!!!!) had written "Jason U R Quakers!" At first I thought "No I am no religious group" before slowly realising he meant quackers.... HA HA, I laughed. Or not.

Then spent day in meetings and drumming up excitement RE: the work fun day that is next Friday.... everyone has to dress up as school kids.... all the blokes at work are like "mmmmm....." at idea of girls in school uniform. Ewwwww....

Got back from lunch sat down ready to be floorwalker when I realised I sat down in the middle of a conversation about cock size, a rather animated one in which I realised too late I was the only bloke in the room... it wasn't long before rulers were being got out.... decided to read my paper and hide!!!

Looking forward to tomorrow which should be fun and a half... and more importantly get to see Gareth *dedicates Madonna's "Lucky Star" to Gareth*

Wednesday, September 17, 2003

Unionised Duck

I joined Unison today. Woo! Got a free, rather nifty yellow duck stress toy. Put it on desk with my nifty hippo stress toy and made my desk look like an advert for that bed company..... is it Slumberland?

I awoke this morning to find my room smelled as if a thousand smokers had spent all their fag breaks in it while I slept. I could actually taste fag ash. I don't quite know why as to my knowledge not one person has ever smoked in my room..... I don't smoke so it was very wierd... I blame Melly myself (she's a ghost so she can do things like that).

I hereby solemnly promise to get rid of my denim jacket this month.... cos this one has too much character (those who know me may say it smells and has holes in, but don't listen to them!!)

So it is goodbye to a dear friend. He shall join my sleeveless jacket (bought at Camden market during my "sleeveless is the new denim phase") in my wardrobe, and become forgotten (except when the wind blows in the right direction and I get a whift of fag ends and sweat). Well travelled, my constant companion in life. I bid ye a fond Adeiu (sp?) at some point this month.

*breaks down in tears....*

If ya wanna come to Canterbury on Friday you are hereby cordially invited... bring your own clothes, money, and a hat (hat optional, but God darn it recommended, specially if it has fruit on it).

Now who would of thought I could use the word hereby twice (ney! thrice!) in a post.

God I am in a silly mood today... need beer.....

Monday, September 15, 2003

Jae Updates: Read All About It

Ok sorry I haven't updated I wrote a really long post Wednesday, lost it, tried again, lost it.... so gave up!

OK so last Monday Zoe came round and we watched Two Weeks Notice, which was pleasant enough. I think (don't hold me to this) Gareth came round Thursday altho can't remember what we did! Friday I went to the Leas Club with Zoe, Laura and Sophie and saw Jae Groupies such as Emily, Suzanne and Abby.... Yes I have groupies of sorts....

Saturday I went to work, (I have done loads of overtime of late) and had planned to go visit Stephen after that.. but found out from Mel that I had been paid early.... so instead made a beeline for home, picked up my card, and Gareth came and picked me up. We headed to Jon's to make sure he was ok after a evil bloke thing.... and ditched plans for a quiet evening for a more exciting dancey one.

We went to Gareths, did some scarily syncronised cleaning, Jon arrived, me and him had some Guernsey sized portions of vodka (thats lots) and then with Gareth driving we went to Bar 11. Here me and Jon had some interesting cocktails/shots. The barmaid scarily goes "I don't know whats in them other than alcohol" Hmmm... after a brief stop in West Bar we headed for Caddies (Woodys) and met up with Darren an OUTintheUK person and a couple of his lesbian friends. They were cool (and didn't dance) so I liked em. After Jon and Gareth did much dancing we headed home via a stop at a Canterbury burger stall where we ate lots, and tried not to catch anything from the drunkern breeders who kept trying to push in to the queue.

Sunday Jon departed leaving me and Gareth to head back to Canterbury for a Bar 11 lunch, a purchasing of Queer As Folk the definitive edition and a trip to see Jeepers Creepers 2.

We got to my house, watched QAF. It was a lot like meeting a much missed friend watching that. Awww the memories....

Anyway back to normality today.... next weekend may or may not consist of Friday night Canterbury trip with the Folkestone/Canterbury Uni crew and a Saturday night Soho adventure with the G and Jon..... woo.... Highlights of Sunday include meal out with Auntie and sister of G....

And now a Pride pic! It's (from left to right) Ben, Gareth, me (looking really evil... I imagine I was plotting world domination as always) and Jon.....

Me and me bitches

Monday, September 08, 2003

Reach For The Stars

Good News I did have money for my Soho adventure! Woo!

Ok.... so Saturday I went to work and the four of us in had to sit through the torture of watching everyone else having a laugh on the lawn outside at staff fun day while we worked.... *sobs with the painful memories* Then after work I rushed home, got ready and Gareth turned up, I gave him a friendship bracelet Mum bought him in Barcelona and he quite liked it.

We caught the train at Sandling, Jon and Stuart were already on board and we headed for Charing Cross. From there we went to Kudos, and then West Central before lazily wandering through Soho and having a meal at the Pizza Hut on the Strand. We wandered back to Soho, went to Comptons (there was a cat! a real one, not pretend or anything... woo! [if you didn't know my other persona is Mad Cat Jae]), the Village, the Admiral Duncan and the G-A-Y Bar. All fabulous. In G-A-Y we were joined by Karen and Malcolm two of Jon's friends plus two other breeders who knew my name but I didn't know theirs... they left shortly after. We made our way to West Central again for the end of the evening to discover it was closing down! Shame! Saw blonde girl from The Salon (woo... she smiled at me... claim to fame!) and two astonishly cute bar men in very little... mmm........

After leaving the dancing drag queens and cute bar men to their last song, the six of us left, Gareth now adorned with ballons. He staggered down towards Charing Cross shouting "Mind ME Ballooooooons" he he...

So we caught a very busy train home (somethingto do with a Limp Bizkit concert), had some heliumm related fun, and got a taxi from Sandling to home. I got the impression Karen didn't like me as I didn't dance... got home and found an uncle David asleep on the sofa.

In the morning me and Gareth awoke to Hollyoaks, went to the cinema and saw American Pie The Wedding, and got home in time for a family roast dinner with the posh cutlery in the posh dining room (scary we have two dining areas... hmm... far too bourgeosis (sp?) for my liking!). Ate like a million servings of cake. mmmmm....

Didn't want gareth to go. But he did, as well he had to really!

Work today smelt... The computer system was down for large part of it....

Now off with Zoe to watch a Dvd!

Friday, September 05, 2003

Different Faces With No Name, Places I've Never Been Before

So yesterday Gareth came and picked me up and we headed for Canterbury for some shopping shenanigans. It was good. Saw Halloween 4 and 5 but resisted the urge to buy them. We headed to his house to drop off stuff then we went to Jon's and picked him and his date (Stuart) up for mine and Gareths birthday treat surprise. We took them to Zizzi's for a meal, which was fabulous, and then headed to Bar 11 (right must not go there for one whole week as I go there way too much, altho bar men is sssooooo cute). Stayed over Gareth's.

Now Gareth headed off to work really early and I said I'd wait for him to come home before leaving. But it soon dawned on me.... I have to go to work tomorrow, and really should go home. So feeling annoyed that I had to leave (I'd much prefer to spend more time with Gareth than be sensible) I headed for the train station. No trians to Sandling I sigh. Joy. So I head for the platform. And then suddenly a train pulls up to a different platform and some member of staff shouts "Hey this is the train for Dover" and so we all run off and get on board (was most sceptical, last time this happened at Ramsgate the staff member had put us on the wrong train, something we realised when we got to Minster... grr..). The conductor checks my ticket.... "You do know this train doesn't go to Sandling don't you?" "yes" I say (I was starting to get peeved) "Oh good... well you could always jump off I spose.... " she says with a smile... Ha de ha ha.... plotted chucking conductor off at Sandling...

Cute boy gets on train... I realise almost too late that it was a lesbian... Need to get my eyes tested...

And I had to pay for a taxi from Folkestone to Lympne.. grr... better have money for Soho adventure after work tomorrow... I am noting that not seeing Gareth is putting me in a very grumpy mood.... Get to see him tomorrow tho... yay! Hope he doesn't mind I have left.

Song of the day: You're the first, the last, my everything - Barry White... *does Ally McBeal dance*

Happy Birthday to Jon for today!

Thursday, September 04, 2003

Not So Serious Girl

So yesterday was to be a day of funness. And it seems to have been one. I hope everyone else enjoyed it as I did!

Zoe and I did our best not to appear straight laced, and tried to organise people. This, as always turned out to be harder than first thought. We did manage to persuade Matthew to come out with us and we headed first to Safeways to buy supplies and then to Hythe beach. We saw some amazing wild life yesterday and the first creatures we encountered were topless old people. Ewww..... Anyway Rio's ice cream van turned up and I bought Matt and Zoe ice creams and we wandered along the promenade. After a little walking we stopped out side a cafe and sat on side of the promenade overlooking the beach, to the dulceet (sp?) tones of lift music. How anyone can stay at that cafe for long is beyond me.

We wandered along in the other direction until we came to the Imperial golf course which we decided to cut across so we could see the canal. We wandered onto the bridge and immediately started playing Pooh sticks. Much fun. We saw a kingfisher (see wildlife!!) and then our attentions were drawn by some very loud quaking. Turning just in time we were able to watch a flotilla of ducks slip out from under the over hanging trees to meet a snake which was swimming/slithering across the canal towards them. I still say it was a baby grass snake as the idea it was a smooth snake is far too exciting to contemplate (sad!). Anyway said snake seemed rather unprepared for the attack and got to land as soon as it could.

We headed back Zoe's car, she dropped Matt home, and I had dinner round her house. I saw a Ray Mears Survival programe while there which rather over excited me.

Anyway we headed off, picking up Laura on the way, and meet Matt, John and Pete at Gee's. Much silliness occured, including my Ray Mear's inspired elephant sign. We moved on from there to Spoons, where we saw Annie, and Gem, plus Elliot and Sam joined us. Twas very good to see everyone, especially all in one place.

Now... seriously.... I really think people should not bring religion into politics. Mainly as in this country we have so many religions it would be hard to get much done! But the Conservatives of course have other ideas. Scary.

OK... I know right now this website is a bit obsessed with the Christian right. That's just where I am right now... Some of you may be offended by this next link... I was totally (it also contains images that are physically, mentally and spiritually hurtful).... Reading through it I discovered a dark, Pharisee like devotion to HATE. Life, light, love... none shone through. I am totally against abortion. But a hundred percent behind a womans right to choose that option. I really don't think that the way to stop abortions is to support EVIL men like Paul Hill. The Army of God have a right to pursue their own beliefs. But to claim all homosexuals are paedophiles, to glorify in making Muslims squirm at images of Mohammed in agony, and to support people whose hearts are filled with darkness is unforgivable. I thank God that I live in a free country where such people can never gain influence. Disgusting.

Wednesday, September 03, 2003

The Other Side Of The Coin

The last 24 hours has seen my looking into the right wing agenda without even wanting to... eek!

So yesterday after going through the right wings sites listed below (and some not) I had a caller. He was a man from the UK Independence Party (for non-Brits they are anti Europe). He seemed shocked when I agreed to listen to him. He presented his case badly and I trashed his arguments and sent him on his way. When I can trash your arguments your case MUST be very shody indeed. My debating skills are those of an 11 year old.

A little later I had another caller. Twas Jonathon, a Jehovah Witness who used to visit Ashley Avenue (my old house). Now I don't mean to seem strange but I like the Jehovah Witnesses, they tend to be polite, well spoken and pretty knowledgeable to remember all those Bible verses. So I tend to chat with them. I mean I am gay it's not like they can actually convert me. And it always cheers em up that someone will listen. Anyway we launched into a long running debate (a friendly one) over the teachings of Jesus versus the rest of the Bible, and I was winning for a time, in fact thought I might change him into a loving libertarian, when I lost him to the story of Job. Darn it. There is always next time!

Meanwhile, as a little side show, Angel swallowed a live bird whole while I did my best to save the poor thing. Angel is only an ickle cat so how she managed it I will NEVER know.

Anyhew. Today I am watching the Factor (for non-American readers that is the O'Reilly Factor America's premier right wing talk show presented by a man who believes that liberal secularists are taking over the WORLD!!!!). Hmm.... why oh why I watch it I don't know. That man is so.... slimey.... yet so wholesome.... and yet so DEVIL like... yet so agreeable.... Oh well I respect that he has opinions. And completely disagree with each and everyone of them!! Oh well.

Right I am off to rejoin the "No Spin Zone".

Note to Self.... the fact that when handed religious tracts you now say "I've already got that one" means you really must stop talking to religious nuts such as, but not limited to, Mormons, Jehovahs, Church of Life and that Good News Lady who is about all August every year who you love to chat with. OK?

Tuesday, September 02, 2003

I Believe In A Thing Called Love

OK... in brief. I didn't go to the air show. I had a lovely day in with Gareth. After he went home I went down Gee's with Jodie, Zoe, and, briefly, Sam. It was good to see him.

The family returned from Barcelona yesterday and I went shopping in Ashford with Zoe. She bought some shoes.. I bought some dodgy videos (Children of the Corn 3!!). And yes I said videos. How retro!!

My long term readers may remember my little wanderings off into the world of homophobia which I used to record. Well I went off on one today and come back, feeling slightly changed. In a good way not in a straight way.

So first the awful stuff....

Dr Laura is someone I have heard about through the gay press. But I didn't realise she was this closed minded and unhelpful. Have a look at some quotes, which are less scary than amusingly simplistic. Quotes

Truth At School is a rather upsetting site. Upsetting as it made me realise that out there, there are some paranoid, unhappy people who seek to lift their spirits through bullying and intolerance. Poor sods. I, like them, don't believe schools should promote any sexuality. What I think schools are there for is to teach tolerance, and grown up debate, to allow choice, and to foster cross-community links. It shouldn't promote marriage any more than sodomy. And unlike them I don't believe it should be somewhere where kids are indoctrinated into a way of life that may be harmful to them (i.e. nuclear families where women are treated like cattle and kids like inferior human beings)

I did find a glimmer of hope. A site that offered choice, and called for tolerance. And God was it a suprise! Free to Be Me is a site which offers those who don't want to be gay a place for advice, while not saying that being gay is wrong. Five stars for effort. And I can't believe I just said that! And here is another breath of fresh air Justice and Respect

Where do I stand on homosexual issues? I believe that homosexuals should be treated as equals before the law, I don't believe they should get special treatment (thus I oppose the school in New York). I believe that if you are unhappy being gay you should by all means find a way to change.

Basically what I believe in is equality and choice. Now who can argue with that?

Saturday, August 30, 2003

All In My Head

There has been some brilliant songs this year... some of my favs:

The Darkness - I Believe In A Thing Called Love

Kosheen - All In My Head (can words describe how fabtastic this song is?)

Danni Minogue - I Begin To Wonder

Christina Agulliera - Fighter

Plus some ones from times past that I have only just discovered:

Mr Sandman (!!!)

Anything by Dressy Bessy

Anything by The Dixie Chicks

My family went to Barcelona on Thursday leaving me in charge. Silly people. Friday seemed to be just one long commute to and from work. Fun.

Gareth came over last night which was... GRREAT. :op He has gone to work... I need to tidy the house before he gets back.

Planning on going to the Air Show in Folkestone tomorrow as that'd be so cool! I am glad its back! Woo!!!

Folkestone Blogging

As you know I keep my eye on Folkestone blogging activity or try to anyway. So here are two new blogs with vague connections... plus one that should be in my favs but I am too lazy to amend my template...

Let Me Blog

The Stan Files Blog

Blue With Stars

Did see some others but could neither confirm or deny that they were Folkestone blogs...

Friday, August 29, 2003

Everything Is A-OK

After the depressing picture painted by my review (see below) I thought I should remind you of good things in my life.

1) Gareth. Smart, gorgeous, funny and, above all else, random. I love him. Just listen to the rythmn of my heart if you don't believe me.

2) I have been in continuous employment for nearly 15 months now. That is a very good thing indeed.

3) My group of friends seems only to have diversified instead of dying out after everyone went to uni.

4) I do loads of fun stuff.... this year I have:

i) been to an Avril Lavigne concert at the Brixton Academy

ii) been to both London and Brighton Pride.

iii) been to London often to: see Ben, see the Lion King, go to the museums, or just get plain drunk

iv) had a lovely trip to Sheffield

v) finally returned to Brighton and faced my demons.

vi) discovered the joys of Canterbury

vii) had lots of random fun.

And it isn't over yet.

5) I have discovered that there are people out there who really like me and, despite what my brain says, they aren't pretending! Woo!!!

6) I have discovered I like me.

7) Altho I find the family stiffling things are much better at home.

8) I realised the skys the limit.

More soberly: 11/09/2001 echoes.

Wednesday, August 27, 2003

Judgement Day

The new computer system at work really smells and generally makes life difficult. Grr....

I went to the Leas Club yesterday with Zoe and Jodie. We were joined by *deep breath now* Arron, Robin, John, Elliot (ringleader), Claire, Smiley Laura, and Kim. Now that's a gathering to make even the coldest heart glow. Twas just like old times.

Robin told me an amusing story about how some rudies had driven up to Skuba and started blasting out that Gay Bar song, and got beat up. By the patrons. Ah, that makes me smile with a certain evil glee. Divine justice perhaps? Forget Stonewall. We have Skuba!

The cute conductor on the train gave me a pound off my ticket today. What a sweet heart.

OK..... I have been reviewed! Yes The Weblog Review finally has my site listed! Woo! Read the review here. I was expecting it to be really awful and scathing. Turned out to be quite good although reading that has made me think: am I not the biggest drama queen ever???

Monday, August 25, 2003

I Begin To Wonder

This summer will forever morebe epitomised by "I Begin To Wonder" by Danni Minogue. It is just such a terrific song.

So how is everyone? Did you know this weekend has been my blogiversary? Two years, and still just about limping on!

The run down:

Friday I went out to the Leas Club with Zoe and John. We were briefly joined by Jodie and a couple of random girls who were cool. When I asked of any ideas for a random trip one said "Cabury's World!". Now that's a girl with the right idea! Gem appeared for about two seconds. Saw the sexy bouncer in civvies. Mmm...

I put Cher on the jukebox but the evil and cruel bar staff skipped it. Thats Cherophobia! So let's all Shoop Shoop a little! Be proud!

Matt, Sam and Maria (Matt's girlfriend) appeared which was lovely. Got quite tipsy.

Saturday I caught a train to Gareth's (after a random phone conversation with a girl named Sarah who works in Gareth's Co-Op), we had something to eat then he drove us down to Jon's and we all got into his very nice car... two drinks holders in back. Quality. ;op

We headed down to Brighton (don't go back for two years then return twice in a month!) where we wandered aimlessly until Jon decided we should go in Charles Street (tis a bar not a road) because there were some cute guys outside. Was nice in there, but a bit too, erm how can I put this without sounding nasty... a bit too conceited. We headed to the Pier (an actual pier not a bar) where there were fireworks, before wandering some more and going into Charles Street again. After that we went into Revenge where I trod on lots of people, accidentally elbowed the rest in the face, and made a general drunkern fool out of myself. Was great fun. Then we got a burger and Jon drove us all back to Ramsgate (a trip I don't remember but am promised it did occur).

Sunday watched There's Something About Mary, Jon drove us to his, we picked up Gareths car, we went to Canterbury (Bar 11 don't you know), and then Blockbusters. Watched Final Destination 2... scary!!! Only because you can't stop death! Ah!

Monday we lazed around all day, I had a random conversation with Gareth's sister, I said the wrong thing to Gareth (big mistake), we went into Canters, had a meal at Bar 11 (you guessed??) after a drink at Spoons (am I just getting too predictable??). He drove me home, we watched Cheerleader, and that is how we got to here.

I am sorry to anyone I haven't replied to message wise... have had NO CREDIT and am on a strict (i.e only one bottle of Pepsi Max an hour) budget.

Saturday, August 23, 2003

'when we allow freedom to ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual: "Free at last! Free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"' - Martin Luther King

Full Text

Friday, August 22, 2003

Let's See What You Think You Saw

Tuesday me and Zoe made a foolish error and attempted to go to the cinema. On cheap Tuesday. Fools! So it was absolutely jammed packed, never seen it that busy, after spending ages trying to park, we got into the cinema to find Pirates of the Caribbean was full. Shucks! Headed to Blockbuster and rented out the Waterboy which was ok.

Wednesday I did some floorwalking at work. It's so busy at mo. :o( And Total Plonker (TP - formerly David the Old) was going on blaming his gay neighbours for being noisy as they didn't have children. Yes that's right. They are noisy because they are gay. That's straight logic for ya!

Thursday I went to the cinema with Zoe, John, and Claire and saw Pirates which was totally great. Johnny Depp shivered my timber. Mmmm... (sorry about bad pun!)

Friday did final training for new system. Old system closed today. New one up on Tuesday. Eek.... Was late for work... got stuck behind cows. Darn the country side!! TP kept calling me clever and stuff.... I hate people who think I'm intelligent... they don't begin to comprehend the disaster of asking me for help!

Tis Bank Holiday Monday coming up so it's a long weekend for me! Woo!!!

Monday, August 18, 2003

Where Fort Art Thou Oh Blog?

OK Thursday Gareth came over, picked me up and we went to Ashford, had a drink at the Man of Kent and a Pizza Hut. Good to see him. Friday don't remember what I did. Oh wait yes I do. I lost Friday to Sim City 3000.

Work on Saturday was fun, very quiet on the phones, so the four of us (me, Stacey, David (the nice young one) and Kelly) sat round sending funny emails. Haven't laughed so hard in ages. Discovered mum has an obsession with the Darkness. She is a crazy mum. Saturday night Mum, Tony and Debbie went to my Uncles Nic's 40th Birthday fancy dress do. Mum was wearing a very fruity hat, Tony dressed in a bright tropical shirt and wearing rastafarian hair and Debs in a pink dress with a blonde wig. The whole street turned up to stare. Most exciting thing to happen in Lympne since the last time a zoo keeper got squashed by an elephant.

Gareth showed up to help me babysit Beth and George. Don't be too shocked but I cooked us a Mexican for tea! (Thanks to El Paso!) And we had a lovely evening. Gareth stayed the night.

Sunday got up discovered hung over Graham and Debbie downstairs, plus some hilarious stories about Uncle Derek. Mwhahaha.... Me and Gareth escaped to Canterbury for lunch at Bar 11 (Thai Green Chicken Curry was yummy!!!!!!!!!) and bought DVD's. Mine were Halloween 2 and But I Am A Cheerleader. Went home discovered Uncle David, Uncle Nic, Auntie Martine and Nan had turned up. And Mum (cruelly) introduced Gareth to them all. Poor G. Found him on my bed hiding under pillows going "VERY SCARY". He he....

Watched Star Trek Nemesis... hmmm... can;t decided whether I like it or not. Then G went home, and I watched my DVD. Cheerleader was pretty cool.

Can't seem to find the energy to bother with this blog much any more!

Thursday, August 14, 2003

The Way Of The World

Work has been very hard, think I am suffering from tiredness. So to remedy this I have taken today off. It will be a day of relaxation and stuff. It's pay day tomorrow! Joy! *does small but effective dance of celebration*

I have been reading too many Bill Bryson books. Again. Thus I have got the travel bug. Hmm... Anyone wanna do something very random on a budget? Go on. I dare ya!

Zoe was very sweet yesterday and went a picked the twins up from their summer care place and took them to see Piglet's Big Movie. Thanks Zoe twas very kind and thoughtful of you!

Tuesday, August 12, 2003


Yesterday's day off was very boring. Around seven thirty mum dropped me off somewhere in Sandgate (I was in the mood for a walk).

As I wandered a long my phone rang. So I threw it on the floor and smashed it into a thousand pieces. As you do. I am so clumsy! Got a few pieces together and manage to answer the phone. Twas John checking where I was.

As I walked like a zombie towards Gee's, with just one thought running through my head "Coke, coke, coke, coke" I was awoken by a shout of "JAE!" from the direction of FHODS (Folkestone and Hythe Operatic and Dramatic Society??) Twas Her Blogginess Emmsy. Praise be. She rocks. Sorry I was a bit distracted. I am not sleeping well cos its so hot! So am a bit dazed!

Got to Gee's bought 4 Diet Cokes, and took em to the beach where I found Claire, John and Elliot loitering with a tennis ball. We throw the tennis ball to/at each other for a while before Elliot decided to bury Claire on the beach. As you do.

Zoe soon arrived and we headed back to Gee's where we sat outside and tried not to sound geeky. Failed....

Zoe gave me a lift home. Today I barely managed to survive at work. Was just in a tired, heat induced daze. Angela was most annoyed. "We are not amused with you today". Did something deeply shameful today.

I gave the impression I was straight intentionally to a mate. I have only just started getting to know Russell, and was using my neutral phrase of "my other half" in conversations. When he goes so you like her then? Instead of saying "tis a him" as I normally do I went "Yeah a lot".

I am deeply ashamed of myself. Just didn't want to scare him away. Grr... *hits self over head*

Otherwise am pukka 'cept tired!

Monday, August 11, 2003

In Order To Love We've Got To Be Strong

Yesterday it was incredibly hot. Hotter than any heat wave in our modern history. Do I care? Not really. It's something Governments should worry about not people like me!

Uncle David stayed the night Saturday. David, Mum and I had breakfast at the table and as I sat there innocently eating my Weetabix Mum goes "Didn't you see Pete Burns at Pride when you went to London?"

I looked up from my cereal, we had never mentioned anything to do with my sexuality in front of the rest of the family. "Erm.... yes...."

"How cool is that David?!" she squeals.

"Very cool"

Did I miss something? Have my family been abducted and replaced with clones?? Hmm....

Spent most of day in garden, Gareth came down in the afternoon which was very cool. Or hot. We had a barbeque, quelle surprise we always have a BBQ. Managed to realise a childhood dream of mine which was to watch David terrorise someone other than me with his tickles. The lucky victim was George. Feels good not to be tormented! Gareth stayed till late, and as he left he goes "You look just like your uncle David".

Hmm... everyone says this... always have, but I don't notice it!

Sunday, August 10, 2003

Brighton Pride And Other Things

Ok. Friday (nothing exciting happened Thursday) at work David (the old, there's two and this is the one that annoys me) started insulting gay men and women vis a vis the whole gay bishop row. It annoyed me enough that I lashed out, using all my A-level Religious Studies abilities to destroy his argument. After that, a bit deflated, he goes "Well what with you going to Brighton and your defending of gay men, people might start to talk Jason." This was when everyone else in the room (who all actually have spent the time getting to know me thus know I'm gay) laughed at him. Ha ha! Pride power!

After work Zoe came and got me and we went and saw Legally Blonde 2 at the cinema ("Your. Dogs. Are. GAY!") Which was cool. I stayed over her house, and in the morning quickly (ha!) got my haircut at the barbers which was stupidly busy for 8.30 in the morning!

She came and got me and we headed off to Brighton, via Jon's house where he and Ben (covered in glitter of course) followed us in his car. They soon over took us, and we headed into traffic. The M25 is hell! Oh well wasn't too bad. We got into Brighton, to discover Ben and Jon right behind us. They had stopped at a service station, had something to eat and still caught up with us!

Zoe made an executive decision and we parked in Varndean Road which turned out to be quite near Preston Park where Pride was. Went to Pride, where there was a huge fun fair filled with extremely scary rides!! There was stalls everywhere! Porn, wigs, t-shirts. After watching the end of the parade, and a fancy dress contest we wandered around. Meet up with Saul (see London Pride post). I bought Zoe a rainbow bandana (kept saying banana). Zoe got a henna tattoo. Me, Zoe and Ben went into a tent that was advertised as a circus. It was in fact a scarily sauna like line dancing tent of doom!!! AH!!!! The cabaret tent wasn't up to much, we saw the most bizarre touch rugby game ever with trannie lines men with pom poms.

The pole dancing display was amusing, the Red Devil van was selling lovely drinks called Ice Burst and gicing out water pistols.... Zoe kept getting me.... he he.... when we got to the Amnesty International stall (I give em £4 a month so I was not to be parted from any more of my money!) the lady was talking to us and said "Amnesty supports gays, lesbians and transsexuals" (gives Ben a knowing look). Was most amusing, guess it was cos Ben has just been at the wig stall. I won a dolphin toy (now named Dolph) on a grab a bag competion. After getting some noodles and watching some martial arts (how oriental!) we got bored and decided to head into town. Via the car. Which involved a lot of walking.

Now. Bearing in mind this was my first trip back to Brighton since it sent me insane (have you all read my January 2002 posts?) I thought it might be scary going back. But turned out to be just like slipping back into comfy well used slippers. We went to Spoons (of course!!) which was rather posh for once. Then headed to St James Street, after a stop in a pub which was really hot, and where Ben kept twitching his legs, we decided to walk up and down the street like plonkers till Jon made an executive decision and we ended up in the Queens Arms (just opposite the Kings Arms which is strange). They were having a Camp Attack in there. Was ok, if very small! Went to Safeways, where I bought an Argus (ah the memories), got taxi back to car, Jon went off gallavanting and Zoe kindly drove me and Ben home. Thanks love.

Thanks again to Zoe for driving me there and for not running away scared!! He he...

Pride links:


And here. Kent police were there too which almost makes up for them not being allowed to wear uniform in the London parade... almost...

Wednesday, August 06, 2003

Part Of The Process

Per tu Natalie:

Gareth meeting my folks seemed to go scarily well. He seemed to like them, and they seemed to like him. You could say that was a good sign. Althought I am reluctant to say that people liking my family is anything close to resembling good! (See I am still a teenager at heart!)

I saw Muriel's Wedding last night which was very, very cool. Can I move to Sydney?

Work today was bearable, had lunch with Stacey and Patricia at Sarah Janes (which is the cafe me and Mum also "do lunch" in). After work Gareth and Rhianne came and picked me up and we went to Cineworld and saw Terminator 3 (phwoah Arnie... mmm....). Twas very good.. a bit of a soppy ending tho, which almost let it down. The car chases were excellent, and the jokes amusing. Plus Gareth was there which is always a bonus!

Good Luck to .Gene Robinson. Now I must say joining a church that is Judeo-Christian was a tad silly for a gay man. Specially as "Christians" love to quote from parts of the Bible Jesus wasn't in. Which seems a bit bizarre to me. I mean if you are going to devote your life to a bloke, you should at least hang on his every word, and not listen to some bloke named Paul, or to those parts of the Bible the Pharisees so loved.

Just my two cents on a religion I don't even begin to comprehend.

Ok. Plans:

Am going out Friday with Zoe.

Saturday: hair cut, then Brighton Pride hopefully. With (subject to change) Zoe, Jon, Ben and even maybe a guest appearance of Gareth.

Friday 15th: pay day, the worlds my oyster... mmm... oyster....

First week of September: erm.... think me and Gareth are supposed to be going somewhere... must talk to him about that