Friday, August 31, 2007

Wing Night Swansong

Last night Sam America arrived back in the country from her 2 month European odyssey so Jo, Bonnie, the two new American temps and myself heading out to wing night to see her for one last time before she headed home to Denver.

The American sports cafe was the same as always although it was a little sad without Meredith, who has already gone home to North Carolina. Natasha turned up and it was much better to see her than I had imagined... I really have missed her since she left in February. We had a good chat and then her husband (HUSBAND!) arrived with a surprise birthday gift for her... a Pomeranian puppy!!!!! It was just gorgeous and although both her husband, Blake, and I tried to persuade her out of it she has named it Mimi (she originally wanted Mini Me.... Jesus Christ...).

After that I headed home (after drinking 5 bottles and a pint of beer in an hour and a half... oh and lusting over the two American temps... Americans are so my weakness).

Today work was ok, although my card didn't work at lunch time so I went hungry (bloody bank had cancelled it, and on payday as well! Tis alright now though, all fixed!). Had work drinks, got home, got some money and Jim and I went down the local to get nicely pissed.

Honestly... I'm not an alcoholic. Yet.

Thursday, August 30, 2007


*Warning: Rant Ahead*

I hate people who are impolite. I just cannot stand it when someone is rude. Sadly, in my line of work, I have to put up with it all day.

People are so angry sometimes, for no reason, with people in my office. And then five minutes later you get a badly written apology about how they were having a bad day etc. If there is anything worse than being irrationally angry it's apologising for being angry afterwards. You shouldn't have been angry in the first place if you subsquently feel the need to apologise. I desperately wish I could write back saying something like:

"Whilst I appreciate the apology you have given, I find your rudeness to be quite unforgivable. There is no reason to get angry with a stranger over nothing and that kind of behaviour is shameful and unacceptable. I trust you will bear this in mind for the future.

Kindest Regards


Oh, just writing that down makes me feel better. All I hear is others giving these people the benefit of the doubt saying things like "It's the heat of the moment." "Everyone gets angry sometimes". Well I'd beg to differ. The only time I have ever gotten angry (as in on the outside, not internalised anger which is a constant) with a stranger is when they have done something so singularly rude to me I cannot avoid confronting them. It just goes against everything I've ever learnt about public behavior to shout at someone "because you're having a bad day".

And then there are the awful people on the phone who you have to put up with just to get their business. I really dream of finding these people, standing up to my full height and then verbally laying into them about their rudeness, their superiority complex and their obviously awful parentage.

Oh well.. shame I'm too well mannered to follow through...

Wednesday, August 29, 2007


Today I rediscovered Bodmas!

Was going to write something meaningful, then got drunk down the local so instead... here's Chris Klein...

So my "type". As Jim says... my type is "heartbeat".

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

The Spider

"I think I just saw a mouse run across the floor" says Jim, alarmingly calmly, as he peered into the television lit gloom of our front room.

"Are you sure it wasn't a spider?" I ask

"I'm telling myself spiders can't move that fast" Jim says somewhat less calmly.

Eager to find out if it's a mouse (i.e. cute) or a spider (i.e. terrifying) I switch the front room light on.

"Oh God. It's a spider" Jim says "There by that wire" he points to one of the million wires that criss cross our floor next to one of the several piles of DVDs.

I look, my poor eyesight (or maybe it was just my fear) not allowing me to see. I get closer... Jesus Christ it was big!

I'm sure every house has a designated spider catcher/killer; the person who is least scared of spiders. Sadly, for some unknown reason, I've ended up with that job. Darn it!

I went to the kitchen and got a glass and a piece of paper. Jim told me he wouldn't think less of me if I did just kill it. I just can't bring myself to kill spiders. Partly it's just plain old "It's wrong to kill" and partly it's a fear that the spider might survive and either come back to get me or live long enough to tell other spiders of my deed and they attack en masse (paranoid much?). So I got the thing in the glass with the piece of paper beneath it.

It promptly began to attack the glass. Thinking about lifting the paper and glass up scared me a little too much so we got a comic and put that underneath the paper for added support. I still felt a tad afraid so grabbed a DVD and added that. Finally lifting the glass up, Jim opened the window and grabbed the net curtains aside as I flung the spider out into the garden.

Spiders should be unseen, unheard and very much unfelt.

As an aside why on Earth do my customers feel compelled to right LOL in their emails to me? Any one got any examples of anything more juvenile or over familiar?

Monday, August 27, 2007

Why I Love Adrian Monk

Hard to believe but Monk is in it's sixth season! Thanks to the wonders of my blog I found out I first watched the show on April 12th 2003, whilst on a date in Petersfield... (me? Obsessed with dates?) and ever since then I've loved every second of the show.

Here's what happened... Monk has grown throughout the course of the series into a well rounded character, he certainly isn't just a nutty detective. Natalie has grown from annoying but somehow boring into a funny side kick, every bit as petulant as Monk when she doesn't get her way. Stottlemeyer and Disher are both comic relief, armed back up and emotional supports (ok... maybe that's just Stottlemeyer). The thing is you actually care what happens to these people. When Stottlemeyer gets his heart broken you just want to shout at the screen. When Monk talks about his dead wife Trudy you can almost feel the emotion.

Brilliant acting all round and some hilarious stories.

I could be wrong now. But I don't think so.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

To Blog, Or Not To Blog

On the 23rd of August this blog turned 6 years old. It's only two years younger than itself! You, Dear Constant Reader, and I have been through a lot together; university, Faulty Towers, Eurotunnel, nights out with the Folkestone people, holidays, Three Valleys Water. Relationships have come and gone. I've lived in four different houses. I've had four different jobs.

The world is a different place too... September 11th, Prime Minister Brown, the Iraq War, the tsunami.

Over the years I've stopped caring why I blog. It's just force of habit, like breathing... I get home... I blog. It's as simple as that. I've been blogging for a quarter of my life. Scary? YES!

come back to what you know is not just a blog. It's my way of life. I am a creature of habit, and I will always come back to what I know. That doesn't mean I don't take risks sometimes, but it does mean I'm fairly reliable. So, as long as nothing drastic happens, here's to another 6 years. I'll be 30. Jesus Christ.

Wanna come along for the ride?

Thank you Dear Constant Reader. Whereever you are. x x x x

All Jurassic Parked Out

Bank Holiday weekends with a new laptop are great... and the roast lunch at the Local helped too. :D

Yoinked from Real Euphoria

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Guess Who's Back?

I have got a new laptop! I'm sorry for the quantity and quality of posting over the last month; with my trip to France, Cornwall and the lack of a laptop I think you can let me off this once!

So normal service will now resume... just need to rescue my Charles Dera picture collection from my dead laptop...

Yoinked from Stunning Sexy Guys

Bud Light??? WHY???

Thursday, August 23, 2007

6 Years Of Blogging

Before my laptop went BOOM I had hoped to write something properly regarding my blogs 6th Anniversary. However that will have to wait until the weekend... until then... Happy Birthday Dearest Blog. 6 years already...

Wanna celebrate?

Please Accept My Apologies

Normal Service Will Resume Some Time. Sadly with no laptop any longer at home I am forced to post from work where I am usually not in a blogging mood (imagine constantly being interrupted by small children with silly questions while blogging... it's near impossible to feel the urge...) Anyhew... where was I...


After breakfast with the crazy lady we headed to our rooms for a final check for any unpacked items and while I tidyed up there was a knock at my door. I opened it to find the B + B lady standing there with a French couple I'd spotted at breakfast. She wanted to show them around the room. I made my escape and squeezed past them as they gave me a look that said "Please Help Us".

Afterwards I returned to my room to find her still there "Could I borrow your muscles, please?" That was how I found myself transferring beans from her car to her shed... God... When I had finished she gave me a huge pack of biscuits as payment so not all bad I suppose!

We paid up (I got a discount, wooo...) and headed off on the Longest Drive In The World. However we did stop off at Plymouth at the National Aquarium which was a bit of a disappointment after Oceanopolis. However... in the deepest tank in Europe (also the least diverse and least interesting ever) they did have four Sand Tiger Sharks one of who was nearly 3 metres long. As I've never seen a shark that big I was very impressed and spent long minutes viewing them from every angle. What beautiful things they are. Inspired me to buy Shark! by Peter Benchley, a very interesting book indeed. I love sharks.

So after the Longest Drive In The World, I had to wait an hour at Ashford for a train then do the usual hour and a half journey home. I was, needless to say, tired and moody and very grumpy. Then my laptop didn't work and I was extremely moody indeed!

Monday: went down the Local.
Tuesday: went down the Local, came 5th out of 8 in the quiz. Wooo... way better than last time.
Wednesday: quiet night in... at last. Fell asleep by 9.

Hopefully (cross your fingers) a new laptop will be with me Saturday morning. This may mean I am very poor forever more but... hey we can't have everything...

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Monday, August 20, 2007

Cornwall and The First Wedding

Sooooo... it's been a very long weekend. After rushing around town on Thursday lunch time buying wedding gifts and clothes, I finished work late and then rushed back to the flat. I had dinner (goats cheese salad, Jim's current obsession... yum) and then got packed before catching a late train to Westenhanger station.

I walked through the dark country lanes to Lympne, pondering how I managed to do this almost every winter night for two years without screaming in fear, before finally reaching the safety of home. How did I know I was home? Because my baby Angel cat came running out of my parents estate meowing her head off and was very pleased to see me. I'm glad she still remembers me.

After chatting with my brother and sister for an hour I made it to bed about 11.30pm.

On Friday I awoke at 5.30 a.m (sob) and got washed and dressed before Zoe and Lee arrived to pick me up. We headed off to Cornwall on the route I showed you and we made good time. We had to stop quite a bit for me legs but only took us about 6 hours to get to Truro. We found the B + B fairly easily too, called the Bay Tree.

The owner was a mad lady who spoke very, very fast but she was nice so we didn't worry too much. After stowing our luggage and getting a bit of a rest we headed into town to explore.

Truro was chav central and very busy even on a Friday. Most of the stores were closing down and it had the feel of a bit of a down on it's luck sort of place. We did some last minute shopping (wrapping paper etc) and popped into the Royal Cornish Museum which looked good from the outside but was a bit bland with relatively little items of interest. They had tried to put Cornish history into some sort of order but it wasn't very engaging.

We headed back to the B and B and got changed and headed to the local Spoons, Try Dowr, for some drinks with the old Folkestone crew (Chris, Claire, Elliot, Arron, Rob and a random encounter with Tim who isn't part of the old crew but hey...). After that we popped over to a good pub called the Old Ale House to meet up with a bunch of other wedding peoples.

Had a good night and slept well.

The next day was the day of the wedding! AH! Woke up and went and got breakfast from the crazy lady. It was a huge breakfast with gorgeous fried bread. I ate it all. I was innocently sitting with my empty plate when she comes over, screams and runs off.

What have I done?, I thought... well turns out she'd just gone to get me a lolly because I'd finished. INSANE! Spent morning lounging around reading, helping crazy lady move furniture and pretending to iron my shirt.

We met everyone at the Old Ale House again before walking through Truro to Epiphany House where the reception was. There was a bouncy castle... we knew when we saw that that we had arrived at John and Vixies Wedding.

It was a lovely day, nice food, Elliots mum, with a tear inducing speech from John, a group hug among the Harvey boys and some Eurovision music. Pictures will follow soon as I get a new laptop.

After the reception twas back to the B + B.

I'll do the rest tomorrow as I can't be arsed and I really should be working... Not having a laptop is most annoying...

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Just Back...

Just found my laptop dead. My phone is dead. Haven't been able to get hold of Jim since I went away, and he is not here. Can't contact him as I don't have his number. Been a 14 hour trip home.

Jae smells, needs a bath, the loo, a hug.


Where's Jim???? :(

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Jae Kay Is Going Away... Again!

Sorry Dear Constant Reader, I am being a very bad blogger at the mo. I've got a busy day ahead of me. I've got to go into London at lunch and buy some new clothes (so soon, I hear you cry, after last time? I know... Shopping makes Jae sad). Then after work I'm going to go back to the flat, get packed and head to Lympne by a late evening train. Then tomorrow Zoe, and Lee, will be picking us up from there as we head to Cornwall!

For those who don't know Cornwall is Britains Brittany... with cider and everything! Here's our route. It's a long bloody way!

Why are we going to Cornwall? Because John and Vixie are to be taking part in some strange ritual known as "marriage". I know... I haven't a clue what that is either!

So I won't be posting again until Sunday evening at the earliest. Stay tuned!

Last night went out to the Local and got drunk. Had a very good appraisal at work yesterday so any excuse!

Oh and two other things: Firstly following on from yesterdays post about shaming the people who are domesticating Dave the Dolphin.... I've found an example from April...

But Richard Tozer, whose rowing boat was used for the filming, said: "He was just coming close to the boat."

Mr Tozer insisted he would never have done anything to harm the dolphin.

He said: "We were just out having a nice day in the sunshine with my children, and seeing a dolphin there is a wonderful thing to see."

What a lovely day out... let the dolphin get used to nice boats with nice children... so it bloody gets itself caught in a propeller when a motor boat comes to visit next. Good thing you'd never do anything to harm a dolphin Mr Tozer, because if this is what happens when you don't try to harm it I'd hate to see what would happen if you did.

And the other thing... there's a poll on the right hand side of the site... please vote!

*EDIT* Oh and guess who has a letter in Gay Times this week? Hmm... I wonder who that could be...

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Dave The Dolphin And Idiotic Kentish Folk

The people of my hometown of Folkestone sure have a funny way of expressing love for their favourite animal... Dave The Dolphin.

After last weeks "People Like To Swim With Him" story (tis a female but you can't call a female Dave) where stupid people decided that get into the sea with a wild animal wasn't going to lead to problems... we have the first blood drawn.... Sadly it's the dolphins (wished it could of been one of those bloody irresponsible parents who have taken the kids near her).

A bottlenose dolphin that has been swimming off the Kent coast since last year has sustained injuries apparently from a boat propeller.

The dolphin, named Dave before it recently emerged that she was female, has parallel cuts on her dorsal fin.

Experts have said the wound is not considered to be life-threatening, but have warned that it could lead to an infection which could prove fatal.

Swimmers and boats have recently been ignoring advice to keep away from her.

Fucking bastards. Hope you're all bloody happy now down there in Folkestone. Human beings can't help but ruin things for every body else.

This is disgusting and I hope the people Folkestone react by ensuring that anyone who is caught pestering the dolphin is treated to a vigorous public shaming.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Why I Hate Sales People...

When I worked at Eurotunnel I had no interest in selling things to people who didn't want them. I'd offer them things, insurance and upgrades, but if they said no I'd move right on. This actually lead to me selling the most insurance on my team as I took way more calls than anyone else, which meant that if I could have earnt commission (just a temp!) I would have earnt more than anyone else too. In your face!

Why am I telling you this? Because I got my first ever sales call on my mobile today! I know... I've been very good at not getting the calls to the point I thought there must be something wrong with me. Why was everyone else getting these calls and not me?

Over the weekend, during a particularly bored moment, I applied for hundreds and hundreds of competitions for such prizes as meeting Matt Damon or a holiday in Austria (ooo...) or a laptop. Most were simple "Give us your email address (here's my spam address...) and we'll let you know". But some were more along the lines of "We'll call you to give you a quote for.... and we'll give you the chance to win...". So I got my first quote today for electricity and gas from Powergen.

The bloke on the other end of the phone was very nice, but as he waffled on about the time he and his flatmate got Powergen and how it changed their lives through to his parents prefering to pay quarterly I got a tad bored. I listened politely to all his waffling, and to the fact I could save OVER A HUNDRED POUNDS, and then told him that I wasn't interested...

"But you could save OVER A HUNDRED POUNDS".

"That's wonderful... but I'm not interested. I'll bear it in mind though, thanks"

"So you're just going to turn down OVER A HUNDRED POUNDS?" He said sarcastically.

"Yes I am. Thanks very much"

"But... it's OVER A HUNDRED POUNDS!" His thick Geordie accent couldn't disguise his disgust and disbelief that someone could so willfully turn down OVER A HUNDRED POUNDS.

"I know. Thanks for the offer and all."

"Thanks for you time Mr Kay" he growled menancingly before cutting me off before I could even begin my goodbyes.

He called me! How rude. Sheesh... these people are all about commission this and commission that. Only an idiot would buy from someone who's pint after work depends on getting you to buy something.

On the work front we had a branding meeting today. Next thing you know we'll be a proper company and everything!

Monday, August 13, 2007

First Day Back To Work

Oh the humanity! Back to work already. Those two weeks just disappeared so quickly. Suffered severely from firstdaybackitis.

After work Jim took me out to the Richard the 1st for dinner (Beef and Ale Pie... mmm).

Heard the news about the gun toting dinos in Jurassic Park IV? Laura Dern is back which is good and I doubt the rumour is true... but if it is Speilberg is behind it and so I trust it'll turn out ok.

Yoinked from male and beautiful

Sunday, August 12, 2007

What a great idea!

Jae is most jealous of Current Obsessions. Why? Well go check out his new Sunday feature... honestly... if only I'd thought of that! ;)

It's bloody great... love it.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

The Queens Speech

It's my blogs sixth birthday in a week and continuing on a theme started last year I feel it's time to take stock of what's gone on here at come back to what you know.

So since the last Queens Speech I've been a London Lite blog of the day, received my fair share of Brent Corrigan and Charles Dera related hits, and discovered that the new Blogger picture uploading process means I've fallen out of the Google Image search results causing my hits to plumet from last Augusts extreme high. I foolishly added adverts for a while but decided that that was just lowering myself to the level of the newbie bloggers and have now removed 'em.

I have, however, discovered I have more Dear Constant Readers than I had ever imagined and I greatly appreciate you all! I cannot believe that 200 people come here pretty much weekly at least to read my posts. That's roughly, using a quick calculation, 200 lurkers! ;)

Thanks go to those of you who regularly leave me comments, you don't know how much you make me smile when I see an email telling me you've left a message. Merci Beaucoup!

Finally, I've changed my template as some of my archive pages were getting out of date and I'd rather the template remained consistent across the whole blog. Hope you don't mind.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Movies I'm Looking Forward To...

The Mist

It's Stephen King. It's a monster movie. How could I not like it? I even love Maximum Overdrive... so anything Stephen King does/inspires I can handle (except for Children of the Corn when it gets to about part 12: Grown-ups of the Corn).

Aliens Vs Predator

Come on! Aliens. Predator. It's gotta be better/longer than the last one.


A monster in New York. Viral advertising. I WANT TO SEE IT!


Who loves sharks? Jae loves sharks. Who loves prehistoric animals? Jae LOVES prehistoric animals. Who is going to scream when this finally gets released? Answers on a comment people!

Halloween (2007 Remake)

I'm looking forward to this, with some trepidation. I love horror movies and the original Halloween was amazing. I hate it when things are remade, but I live in hope that this will bring a new dimension to the Michael Myers saga...

Jurassic Park IV

I've been looking forward to this for some time. If it doesn't get made I will be hunting down those responsible and going all Annie from Misery on them!

In other movie related stuff, Jim recommends the following tribute to Sommersturm

Thursday, August 09, 2007

I Love This Video

Come on you buffalo!

Oh The Humanity!

The people of my home town aren't the cleverest group of humans ever put on the face of this earth. Just read this Dave The Dolphin related story.

In one case, a man was seen trying to put his child on Dave's back for a dolphin ride, a spokesman said.

He said the child would have been "at considerable risk" if Dave had headed for deeper water

Dolphins rape and kill each other (and sometimes humans). DO NOT PUT YOUR CHILDREN NEAR A WILD ONE! Jesus Christ!

Yesterday we took Ian home. Sorry to say but some unforeseen events mean the pictures from my holiday are delayed for a few weeks. :(

After that Jim and I spent the day at Lakeside shopping and browsing, had dinner in the local and lazed around all day. Ah... holidays...

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Petit Bretagne - Part Deux

1st August 2007

After a repeat of the previous days breakfast, we headed south towards Josselin. We parked directly below the castle. What a magnificent Chateau it was. High up on a rock face overlooking a canal with three huge towers (facing us anyway!). We wandered up the hill to get a closer look but discovered that Josselin had a sleazy underside... an English bookshop. Ugh! An English bookshop is always a sign of too many British tourists visiting a place. The town itself was attractive and we had an alright lunch in a touristy place but we made the mistake of going on a tour of the Chateau. The tour was in English and we were surrounded by British tourists and thus had to put up with screaming kids and babies whose parents were too selfishly obsessed with enjoying their own holiday to bother keeping them in check (or worry about the fact this tour might bore the kids to death).

The tour was conducted by a French girl whose limited English made the tour fairly dull. She wasn't helped by the fact that the Chateau was itself incredibly dull and the tour consisted mainly of explaining how old the carpets were and who bought them rather than telling the amazing history of the place (sieges, a brutal attack by the English). The most exciting part was when she mentioned that rich people had been forced into one of the towers during the Revolution... before promptly moving on to what the initials carved under one of the windows stood for and completely fairly to tell us anything about such an exciting and historically important moment in the castles history.

We took a "scenic" route home (i.e. my navigational skills let us down a tad... ;) ). Had a lasagne cooked by Jim in the gite for dinner.

2nd August 2007

We had a lazy day. What else are holidays for??

3rd August 2007

We headed west to Dinan. What a gorgeous town! We wandered around the streets, Jim impressed me both with an amazing parking feat and by asking for insect bite cream (for Ian) in a pharmacy in perfect French. We had lunch in the Cafe L'Armor. I don't think I can express how much I loved the Pizza Americaine that I had. I believe if you had to make me choose between eating that pizza or Charles Dera I would have a difficult time making up my mind!

We followed up the pizzas with some delicious ice creams.

Headed home via a Champion hypermarche and had a Breton delicacy "Soupe de Poisson". Fish soup. Twas DISGUSTING. Yuck.

4th August 2007

Jim wanted to go to a French market so we headed west to the delightful little town of St Brieuc, which had some very delightful market boys. Mmm... bought some cider and some paella for dinner.

As we left town Jim foolishly asked if anyone wanted to do something and I made my much planned move... I wanted to see some polar bears and the Rough Guide said some could be found in Oceanopolis in Brest (a fair old journey away). Randomly... Jim agreed. So off we drove and after a few navigational errors (and a few hours of driving) we made it to Brest town centre... to be confronted by two signs for Oceanopolis. One heading west and one heading east. MOST CONFUSING. Using logic we worked out we needed to head east and soon found ourselves parked up by the huge modern building.

We went inside and marvelled at the aquarium exhibits (Dear Constant Readers will notice I tend to visit aquariums a lot...). The temperate zone had seals, small sharks and very inquisitive evil looking fish (video to follow some time!). The tropical zone had probably the biggest aquarium I've seen (and the one in Bangkok was fairly massive!) filled with allsorts of fish, and sharks! HUGE SHARKS. And a massive sawfish. And a turtle. And rays. And I loved every second of it. Ian seemed more impressed with an exhibit where you can play with remote controlled boats.

We had lunch in the brasserie on site. Amazingly good. I had a salad for starters, a well done faux filet.... very good, especially considering it was part of a tourist exhibit!

Then finally, with much fanfare, we arrived in the polar zone. We walked in. We watched the penguins play, we saw seals frolic and we searched high and low for polar bears. There weren't any. There used to be but not any more (the Rough Guide was only printed a month before the last presidential election so it's only about 3 months old!!). Sob. Much fun was made of Jason by Jim and Ian. :(.

But it was an amazing place... really great.

Went back to Moncontour, Ian and Jim spent the evening swatting flies. Fun. ;) I'd finished all my books by this point and took to desperately reading promotional leaflets that had been left in the gite.

5th August 2007

Our final day in France. Despite my Eurotunnel training, which indoctrinated me into understanding the entire country of France closes for Sunday, we headed out in a desperate search for an open hypermarche so Jim could get an escargotière (for making escargot). Did we find one? Non. Did we travel all the way to Rennes, the Breton capital, in search of one? Oui. Did we go home and watch Buffy afterwards? Oh yes...

For dinner we headed back to the Hotel De Ville area in hilly old Moncontour. Everything was bloody open! Even the patisserie... on a Sunday evening. The opening hours in France are confusing... We choose to eat in a restaurant called The Frog and Rose-Bofe. Any Brit or French person reading this should know what that means!

We started to ask questions in French of the lady we found inside, who promptly said "I speak English as well" in a home counties accent. She was the chef and talked us through her menu.

I had goats cheese toast salad to start and duck with orange and ginger sauce for main. Both were absolutely amazing, and if any of you go to Brittany I demand that you visit the beautiful village of Moncontour and visit The Frog and Rose-Bofe in the village centre.

We returned to the gite, very full and did the cleaning. Ah the fun of a holiday home.

6th August 2007

It was time to go home. We set off early in the morning, sad but pleased to know that if we ever did go back there was a hell of a lot of stuff still to be seen. The drive back was uneventful (except I tried sango Diet Coke, which is diet Coke with orange, at a service station. Nil point).

We stopped off at Cite Europe. Found an escargotiere. YAY! Sadly also came back into contact with British people en masse again (Cite Europe shopping centre is the main stop off point for British day trippers). :( I love Britain. I just hate the English, rude and disgusting the lot of them.

We then headed to Dunkerque, got put on an earlier ferry without paying extra, smuggled Ian back into the country like the criminals we are, and put up with the English bad parents all the way home. Dropped some beer from Cite Europe off with my family and then drove to Greenwich via horribly congested, badly managed roads.

7th August 2007

Home... but still off work! Woo... spent day in the cinema with Jim and Ian. Saw Harry Potter and the Never Ending Franchise Part 5. I really am not a fan of the Harry Potter stuff but it was alright. The actors are all grown up now and I can start to see certain qualities in the movies lacking from the first few... totty.

We took a break for dinner at Noodle Time (changed hands, now rubbish, shall never return) and then headed back to see Transformers. You know I loved the movie, I've seen it before. But Jim and Ian also loved it with Jim remarking: "This is the best movie. Ever."

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Petit Bretagne - Part Une

Bonjour Dear Constant Reader! I have returned to you from a marvellous holiday in Brittany. I am most sad to be back here in Britain, should of just stayed and got internet access in France. Much better than here! So here is the obligatory holiday diary. Pictures will follow shortly...

29th July 2007

Even though we weren't due to leave the country until the 30th we did our fair share of travelling! Jim and I headed to Hemel Hempstead and picked up Ian (via a McDonalds breakfast... mmm). Then we headed down to Kent and the town of my birth, Snodland, to pick up my Nan. We transported her to Maidstone to the Maison De La Debbie Debs and were soon joined by Leigh and her husband. Jim, Ian and I moved on from there to Folkestone and bought travel guides and phrase books for the trip.

We wandered back to the car park full of the joys of holidaying when the worst thing possible happened... the car wouldn't start. The day before we were due to drive through France and the car breaks down! AH!

Not twenty minutes later a nice fellow from the RAC arrived and we found out the battery installed in the car was not the battery Jim had installed about a year ago. We think it might have been accidentally swapped at it's last MOT. AH! So we managed to get the car started and on a Sunday found a garage open (Cheriton Road Kwik Fit, merci beaucoup!). Thankfully less than an hour after breaking down we were on our way again with a very happy car (and my not so happy credit card).

We headed to Lympne and my family's home. Whilst my brother played his new drum kit with our cousin Louis and Ian, my sister made Jim and I go to Sellindge (another former home town) to see her latest horse, Chalky. Joy...

Upon our return to Lympne we found, randomly, my auntie Martine, uncle Nick and cousins Rhys and Fran had turned up. Thus an evening of family chat and curry eating ensured in front of my family's giant television... talk about a home cinema... moi? Jealous? As if!

30th July 2007

Early the next morning we made the short trip from Lympne to the Port of Dover and checked in for the ferry. As we went through the British Frontier Control we were pulled over and after the guy there discovered that not only were Jim and I partners but Jim was also Ian's father we were taken away to Shed Number 3 for further investigation.

We were met there by a far too cheerful female Immigration officer who cheerfully asked us if were carrying anything illegal before rummaging through our bags. She then disappeared to be replaced by a Kent Police Officer who questioned Jim over whether we were attempting to kidnap Ian. After also questioning Ian (which scared him quite unnecessarily) and talking to Ian's mum we were begrudgingly let go with a half hearted apology for troubling us. I hope when Ian's mum takes him to France in a few weeks Jim gets a similar call or I shall be writing a strongly worded letter about sexism and homophobia at the Port of Dover.

Anyway Jim and Ian didn't seem that bothered about it and Jim kind of reminded me not to let it spoil our holiday so I settled in for a peaceful ferry journey on the Norfolk Line to Dunkerque. Peaceful except for the hole in Jim's wallet for paying 25 quid for breakfast for three people! RIP OFF!

We drove down from Dunkerque to the small village of Moncontour in Brittany. The trip was amazingly quick and the French roads are a bloody amazing thing to behold. Fast, clear and road work free. The Pont de Normandie (the Normandy Bridge) was awe inspiring.

The gite (French holiday home) was huge! It had a large garden with a wonderful stone balcony. The front room was huge and the kitchen bigger than our front room in Greenwich. We loved it.

We went out to explore but discovered France is closed on a Monday. The village was deathly quiet with no one anywhere to be seen and the area around the Hotel De Ville (town hall) closing for the evening. We managed to get a meal in Le Cauldron Magique, a medieval themed restaurant. No not like a crass Americanised place, it just served medieval style food with some bunting as decoration. I had an awesome melon salad as a starter, with organic roasted chicken and vegetables for my main and a tart de chocolat for dessert. All delicious.

We headed back to the gite for a much needed sleep.

31st July 2007

Jim and Ian headed down to the local patisserie early in the morning and we had a huge breakfast out on the balcony. There was melon (I had gotten a taste for it!), croissants, pain au chocolat, ham, cheese and some classy Lion Bar cereal (very good!). YUM!

We headed out to St Malo a town to the north east of Moncontour and on the coast. What a beautiful place the old town was. Completely walled in with wonderful small meandering streets everywhere and beautiful beach. We wandered the ramparts, had some drinks in the Cafe L'Adambir, had a horrible lunch (mine was an egg and ham galette [the local form of savoury crepe]) in some touristy restaurant and ate chocorange ice creams as we wandered the streets.

Jim and I both bought paintings off of some local artists. I love them both.

We headed back to the gite where I attempted to read outside but was promptly soaked by Ian's water gun. Ian was promptly soaked by Jim and a washing up bowl. Mwhahahaha...

Had a meal in a local restaurant... escargot (snails) to start, faux filet (steak) for main and a chocolate mousse for dessert. The faux filet was rare so I loved it but Jim and Ian didn't and they quickly looked up the French for "well done" when we got back (bien cuit for those interested). The mousse was judged nicest dessert ever tasted.

1st August 2007

This is getting very long. I'll do the rest tomorrow!