Monday, March 31, 2003

We'll Fight The Powers That Be

Listening to Twisted Sister who rock ssssooo much.... *head bangs*

I went to work today. I advise anyone not in a job. Don't get one. Do you really wanna have a boss, responsibilities... and a TIE?? You know if I could wear whatever I wanted to work... I'd love it.... work clothes suck (and not in a good way), casual stuff rocks...

My soundalike left work today.... have a new swirly chair.... yay!

Decided never to learn to drive today... just to see if I can be one of these 30 year olds who can't drive, and still have social life....

On that note... have been phoned up by three people I really can't remember ever knowing, who know me from some night or another.... what, what? Do I just hand out my phone number to everyone when I'm drunk?? Must not do that anymore.

Also keep getting random calls from Lib Dems. Eek!

Sunday, March 30, 2003


OK..... if you come round to my house, please, please, please take my Manic Street Preachers albums when I am not looking and burn em!! God. I have had This Is My Truth Tell Me Yours for way too long.

I've had 4 men say I was cute in last 24 hours (and one say he loves me, but that was Elliot and I think he was actually talking to Kim or his parents or something :op) which always makes me uneasy... what do I want? A good bloke, with a good life, in a good place, with good people, and peace and quiet (not too much tho!). So pretty easy that one. What don't I want? A family. Committment. Stress. People who have lost their basic goodness.

I think I am losing my ability to have sex, and not let it mean anything. Eek! (hit me if I use that bastard sound again!) Stephen said there are gay Skater Bois up in Heaven (the club, not the place!) may have to go see, and try and stop myself making sex into such a big thing.... when did I last have it?? 4/5 weeks ago??? Ah!! Definetly gonna get me some skater boi (note to all this won't actually be a real one, just some guy in skater fashion, who thinks he is one but can't skate.... but hey... would I Slutty Jae complain??)
The Pact

Yesterday: Zoe and me went shopping, rented and watched My Big Fat Greek Wedding, did some Lego for George, got Elliot and John, went down Gee's and That was about it. It was ok.

I am sure you know that in January 2002 I promised a tramp I would never be like "them". The normal people. The suited and booted. The people who have abandoned their dreams, and fed themselves to The Machine. I broke my promise. Sorry. I wear a tie to work. I read a broadsheet (yeah it's the Guardian but still!), and I have stopped giving money to the homeless. In other words I am no different to most other people who have a half a brain.

But now I really do solemnly promise this. By January 2004 I will live in my own place, I shall not have any debts and I WILL be happy. Better late than never huh. So no more broadsheets. No more news, or normal stuff. And one day I hope to be like Peter Tatchell. A taller version who can whoop Mugabes fat arse back to the 20th Century where it belongs.

Stay away from those people who have cotton wool between their ears, chatting to them lowers your IQ don't you know?! You know the ones, they have no light in their eyes, and believe David Beckham is actually a meaningful conversation, instead of just being a nice piece of arse. Hmm...

In fact I am in one of my "Better get the gun" moods. Rebekah Wade of the Sun.... bam!..... Rupert Murdock... bam!.... any Christian who hasn't read the Bible ("The meek will inherit the Earth" listen up!)... bam!.... and also any wimpy person who is homophobic.. this is because we gays are supposedly an easy target... BAM! Target that.

And who said murder isn't an art? Note to self: am still ill.
I Would Rather Be Anything But Ordinary, Please

*Not Intended For Reading By Regular Readers Or Random Search People Intended For You OUT People*

So you've read my blog, I have it linked to from most my profiles, it's no secret! And then you stop talking to me. Because I've attempted suicide, ran away, and been generally depressed. Well here is news for ya... this blog is way saner than my old diary!!

You men are ssssssssoooo fickle! Hello!! I am me. You chat to me. You think my silliness is great. Till you find out my silliness was created by tears and pain. Then you hide. Wimps. Girls. You will be scared to know that most people aren't this upfront about their blips and errors... and they are the ones to watch out for... oh wait... you are those scary people!!

Bottling things up, being conservative.... they died in the 20th Century along with other bad stuff like Hitler

Saturday, March 29, 2003


Hmm.... I live in a messy world. I understand where most things are, can find things easily... messiness is just a state of mind.

So it really annoys me when people tidy stuff up!!! In last week due to tiding my Republica CD, my security pass, my timesheet (which I need to get paid!) among many other things have gone missing!!!!!


Illness.... a little better... coughs feel more normal instead of throat tearingly painful....

Thought of Day: Wouldn't it be amusing if the Iraqis won?

Friday, March 28, 2003


I woke up this morning, and was relieved to find that my throat eemed to have cleared some, and my joints weren't acheing. Yay, I thought, I can go to work today. So I stood up. This was a mistake, the world spun, and I had to hold on to the dresser to stop from falling over, my throat seized up, and brought back those razor blades. eek!

So no work I thought. But about twenty minutes ago I thought, "Jae, why not walk up to the shop, have some fresh air, and get a bottle of coke." Simple logic I thought, can't stay inside all week. So I got dressed, and headed out.... and nearly died.... eeeeeeekkkk...... it's cold out there.... made it to shop and back, but all energy is now gone, can barely move from this chair...

Who ever said flu is like a bad case of cold has never had the flu!!!


I was just lying in bed, and I suddenly got a whiff of a smell that I used to associate with illness, the musky smell of a bloke who has been ill in bed all day. And wow did that start a whole thing rolling.

My mind went back to the last time I was "ill" in bed. That time had been completely my own doing tho... and then memories I think my mind has discreetly missed placed, came flooding back. How one morning I had gone into town, went to Brighton Boots, and Brighton Superdrug, filled my shopping bags with pills, got a bus home, wandered past the building I was supposed to be having my seminar in (and just how many days/weeks/months had I not gone? I can't even remember when my brain went a bit wrong!) nd went in to my flat. I had said hi to Karen, pretended I was ill, gone to my room, and swallowed each and every last pill.

And that was a lot. And I did this all calmly, without any compunction or regard. I realise now just how mad I got back there, just how un-Jae I had been.

I am much better now I think... just thought I'd share my little trip down memory lane... altho this time I'll spare the details of what happened once the pills went down.

Thursday, March 27, 2003


My illness thingy has only got worse, I have started to cough like some mis-firing machine gun. I feel awful, and I have a really high temperature... none of that stops me coming on here tho.... but God I hate being ill!!

Nothing else of great interest has occured... oh except am scaring myself silly by reading the Stand..... you know the one where the whole world dies from a superflu epidemic... *cough*


Wednesday, March 26, 2003

Avril Rocked My Socks

So after getting my hair cut I met up with Zoe at Central Station and caught the train to Charing Cross. I still felt awful but not as bad as I had when I just woke up!!

Got to London wandered up Oxford and Regent Streets, went into the Disney Store and Hamleys, got lost on Carnaby Street, found Soho, had a McDonalds in Leicester Square (is it the biggest McDonalds in the world??) and then went and got the tube from Oxford Circus down into Brixton. In Brixton we discovered one of the basic truths of the world..... all Wetherspoons are inhabited by scary old men. Only difference between Brixton 'Spoons and Folkestone 'Spoons is that in Brixton the old men were black. After that we headed for the Brixton Academy for the Avril concert. The queue was MASSIVE and Zoe and I seemed to be stuck between a group of evil girls, and two demon children...... Avril waved to the crowd from the roof of the building, and then we were in.

The support band was alright, nothing to write home about. But Avril rocked!!!!! And me and Zoe seemed to have the best view in the whole building........ it was well fun..... we made our way back on the tube again, and made it home around 1 in the morning.

Am off sick today.... blah!!

Tuesday, March 25, 2003

Death Warmed Up

OK so the plan was to pretend to be sick, not go to work, and then head off to London with Zoe to see Avril Lavigne. So I wake up this morning, and discover I actually am sick!! I feel... BLAH! My limbs are stiff and painful, my nose is running like a tap, my throat feels like I've swallowed a razor blade, and I feel like I am drunk. I can only move in slow motion. Grrr...

Oh well am off to barbers in a minute to spread my flu is going to stop me getting to London!! My head is all fuzzy.... just want to sleep...

Monday, March 24, 2003


I went to the zoo yesterday!! Port Lympne to be precise, and it was very fun..... tigers, and lynxs, and gorillas, and monkeys.... oh it was fun. Then me, Zoe and John headed for McDonalds and Gees.... a good day all in all...

The state of the war? A big mess.... quelle surprise....

The Geneva Convention, thanks Emily....

Sunday, March 23, 2003

Let's Not Talk About It Anymore

There were two parts to yesterday.

Part One: It was so sunny yesterday, there wasn't a cloud in the sky, and Mum, Beth and I set off for Tunbridge Wells via the scenic country side route, Pretty Woman blaring from the car stereo.

It was truely awesome. It was one of those days where I just thank the Gods for its brilliance. In Tunbridge Wells we did the obligatory stop in Long Tall Sally for mum, and then went and had lunch at a nearby cafe, which was gorgeous and the American waitress was so lovely and chatty.

Back at the car park, we discovered it and the park that it backs on to had been taken over by skater kids. As you can imagine I was as happy as could be there... Sk8r Bois!!! Mmmm...... One was sssooo gorgeous 6'2", blonde... phwoar!

I got home and relaxed.

Part Two: I got a lift into Canterbury (just how many miles did I do yesterday?!) and gave Stephen his birthday cards for today, and a present I picked up for him in Tunbridge Wells. It was super stylish clock which was so gorgeous I had to force myself to let him have it!! It was all worth it to see him smile and show it to his family.

His family were oh so amazed to see me again, and just when on and on about how tall I was. Then Stephen, his uncle and I went out on the piss. We went to the Two Doves, met up with Stephen's mates Tall Paul (just back from London protest) and Little Rob (just back from bitching school as far as I can tell!) and I was rather taken with the 50 year old land lady, as she loves 4NonBlondes as well and put "Whats up?" on... yay!!

We moved on to Bar 11, where me and Stephen's uncle were quickly accepted into the straight peoples group (for the rest of the evening I was refered to only as Tall Bloke) and it was fun. Haven't been in there in ages. But I started on the JD and cokes, and that is when the evening turned sour. Eek!! While I was at the bar some straight blokes accosted Stephen and his friends, and one had unbuttoned his shirt, cornered Stephen and was lewdly shouting "Suck my cock." Well I was most annoyed. And barged over to their corner, and sneakily, but diplomatically pushed the bloke away from Stephen, got between them, and rose to full height, along with having mean JD face on this was sufficiently scary to get all the straight blokes to leave the Bar.... muhaha..... why do people cause such trouble?? Why can't they just have a nice pleasant evening?? And if they are "straight" why can't they stay the fuck away from our bars?

I apologise to all those who I spoke to on net last night... eek.... it was the JD talking!!

My head really hurts now......

Saturday, March 22, 2003

Phoebe or Monica??

Yes that is the question. Who is my favourite? Is it Monica and her obsessive compulsive disorder or Phoebe and her zaniness? This question is tearing me apart! ;o)

What are we to call this war? The Second Gulf War? The Iraq War? Or Gulf War II: The Adventure Continues?

I had a phone call from Stephen last night. :o/ I have made my plans, made sure I know when the last train leaves Canterbury for home. I don't want to get stranded up there now do I?! It's a quick present giving and run.

I really wish this blog had smell-o-vision so I could relate to you how smelly this village is!! God it stinks!!

This shows that even in war sometimes good things do happen.

Friday, March 21, 2003

When I'm with you Its paradise No place on Earth Could be so nice

Zoe and I went to see a preview of Just Married at the cinema, managed to get into the deluxe screen at no extra cost! Was ok, altho Zoe was tired, and I was feeling like I was on a completely different planet!! I have felt a bit zonked for the last few days.

Mmmm.... Ashton Kutcher.....

Work was ok today.... but it is evil rent day today (instead of taking it each week the oh so thoughtful landlords [formerly parental units] now take it once a month thus ruining my entire weeks wages!! Yayness!!) Off to Canters tomorrow anyone wanna come?

Oh and Debbie Debs, Mum and Tony just spent their time being deeply, and loudly, homophobic in the kitchen... grrr... am not even bothering to stand up to them.. shall just move out soon....

Thursday, March 20, 2003

And Now For Something Completely Different

Work was ok today. Spent my lunch break reading The Stand (I forgot just how much I LOVE that book!), then got a lift home in one of the Family (like the Mafia only meaner) vans.

War? What is it good for? Getting rid of evil dictators and showing scarily dumb American commanders. "When the President says go, it's hammer time" Oh how poetic!! How absolutely fucking grand that the world is in the hands of such people. Intelligent Americans, rise up and take over your country! Our commanders say things like (and I quote from the news) "The men are composed and prepared to do their duty. We are the professional Armed Forces of the British Government and trust implicitly in their orders." See that is good public relations. That is how commanders should behave in public.. dignified and civilised and showing decency when INNOCENTS are about to die!! American commanders take note. The world is against you... so play the media game okay? Just a little quiet composure, some serious expressions... and no bloody loud rock music when addressing troops, I am talking to you Vice-Admiral Timothy Keating! (unless you are in Predator in which case I'll let you off, as long as I get to keep Arnie)). Just a little bit of that and the worlds your empire.. sorry... oyster...

I hope this war is successful and short. I hope and pray that no innocent dies. That the Iragi army surrenders, that Saddam is brought to justice, and that Baghdad doesn't have too many McDonalds and Starbucks once they give in.

Wednesday, March 19, 2003

I Can't Think Of A Title

Hmm.... went into town for lunch today... rebought "The Stand" by Stephen King.... one of the books left in Brighton. Stacey and Patricia went off to a different room at work leaving me in a corner surrounded by strangers... eek!!

Erm... am ignoring money problems (a very constructive approach), am ignoring most texts sent to me. Am living in Jae world for a little while. Yay!! I have decided I need a new job.. one that involves less work and more pay. Yes.... Claire Short is my new career move.

Tuesday, March 18, 2003

Oh What A Lovely Morning

It has been a nice day today. Not spectacular, not too bad. Just nice. Had lunch with Patricia and Stacey at Brickfields, which was all rather civilised.


I think it's time I let you in on a little secret. I am for the war on Iraq. Not this particular war but I am pro getting rid of Saddam. Of course I am against this particular war as it is lead by a dictator who lost a free election, but retains power any way... yes George W. Bush.. some of us remember you didn't actually win!!! The UN really should do something about these people who we call President be they Mugabe, Bush or Hussein.... oh sorry I forgot... the UN is run by Bush... sorry!!

War on the US and Iraq.... free their oppressed peoples!!!

Monday, March 17, 2003

I've Come To See

So last night I did regain my sparkle which I had missed placed yesterday morning. Smallville was on you see. Long term readers will know that I am obsessed with that show... for purely artistic reasons of course. It has nothing to do with a certain Tom Welling and his lushcious eyes.

Then there was the news (blah!), a great show called Car Junkies (all about hating 4x4 (SUV's)) which is one of my most popular topics (I HATE them!) and then a show about The Real John Curry, the out skater who won gold and died of AIDS. I have missed TV. Darn my evil social life!! Get's well in the way!!

Today after some lovely debt letters I have almost lost my sparkle... but shan't .. OH NO...spent lunch eating chips under a tree with Stacey as it was such a lovely day

War.... is sssoooo last century deary!

Sunday, March 16, 2003

My Head Is In A Spin

OH last night was... a bit of a come down from the rest of the week. I went out (at like 9 so it weren't no fun) with Pete, Sam, Zoe, Elliot, John, Rob, Arron, and Wee Gem to Spoons. Elliot was stupid and not funny. The words "He can't handle his drink" were always on the tip of my tongue.

John texted Ben and said I loved him, which is a right mess that I am still try to clean up. Sorry to hear about the house John. Hope everything turns out ok.

Gert has removed me from her Blogroll. This blog must be getting crap if people have started to remove their links to me. :o(

Am actually not a happy bunny today. I hate living in this house.

Saturday, March 15, 2003

Now I Am Ready To Rise Again

Oi! Emmsy innocent ickle me never had sex on Thursday. I am being a good boy this week. I have been so busy! So after doing Leas Club and Skuba with Chris (think I was too insane for his liking) I did a full day of work Friday, went straight to Bar Vasa to meet Jon (no not Jon or John, a whole new person) for a drink. Then Zoe picked me up from there, and we got Pete, went to Tescos, I bought so much chocolate it's kerazy and we watched Comic Relief which was great but really sad as always. :o( If only the United States spent it's riches on selfless charity rather than on pointless drug laws and "defence" (war) budgets.

Then went to work today for 6 hours of overtime (that £52.50 ta very much!) and got home and went and gave £25 to Comic Relief. Now I want you to do the same. Go on. I am a temp and I can afford it. So can you!! One problem I did have with Comic Relief last night tho was the use of the words "shirt lifters". Hmm.... anyone says that near me gets their head kicked in!!!

It's Stephens birthday on the 23rd and I have been invited to celebrate on Saturday in my old haunt of Canterbury. Shoud I go?

A Little Fun Link as suppled by Marino at work.

Thursday, March 13, 2003

She's A Millionaire

I went out tonight with a bloke named Chris from OUT and Dover. He was nice.

Mmmmm........................... sex... and porn........... and naked bums......

Sorry I am not writing much, just don't have the time!!

Wednesday, March 12, 2003

Pete's Back!

Oh you heard right. Pete is back.. went out with him to Leas Club, Spoons, and Gee's (on way discovered the Happy Frenchmen was full of the infirm, and The Front was shut!).

Yay we love you Pete.... in other news, I need sex asap. And I think Brian from Placebo is in order!!!

Tuesday, March 11, 2003

One Life With One Vision

OK so the CDs I got in my Amazon box were actually replacements for ones I left in Brighton. I got Catatonia's "International Velvet" and "Equally Cursed and Blessed" and also Republicas self titled album (see title!).

I went out with a bloke named Lee today, who I meet on Gaydar, and had a nice, albeit short, evening at Skuba. He was polite, and funny.

Now see, you all thought I'd complain about the fact I had no gay mates, and do nothing didn't you! Ha! And I didn't buy one drink.... hehe....

Yesterday was strange at work, it was lie a normal day at Eurotunnel.... and they thought it was ssssooo busy that they had to buy us McDonalds to cheer us up. Silly people me, Stacey and Patricia thought it was so bizarre!!!!

Go here I love it! Had it for ages just keep forgetting to link to it!

Monday, March 10, 2003

Woop That Ass

Uncle Derek phoned last night. Told me off for not visiting him in Manchester and invited me up end of April (in Derek speak that's probably about 3 years time!). He informed me he was gonna "beat my arse". Can't remember why, but oh well......

Derek is one of those guinea pig students who test drugs for phamaceutical (sp?) companies for a little cash.... which is possibly the coolest idea in the world!!!!! If I do come up to see Derek will stop by Sheffield to see the old crew.... so watch out.. better not tell Derek tho as he told me off for even considering share my time with anyone but him. Hehe...

Am meeting a bloke named Lee on Tuesday, a bloke named Chris on Thursday, and theres a possible, very preliminary possibility.. of a trip to Brighton... see I am expanding my horizons!

Sunday, March 09, 2003

Gypsy Jae

I miss you Melly. Two years without you is far too long.

So I had a fab day yesterday. Today was sad, of course, but revealing. Mum, Beth and I headed for Snodland and as we approached the town limits we spotted a roadside flower stall. Deciding to buy Nan some flowers we got out to buy some. The two stall holders were of the usual in bred Snodland stock, one being Gypsy Joe, owner of the local wood yard.

As soon as he saw me he couldn't take his eyes of me (and not in a good way). "Who's your father?" he growled. "Mark Cole", my mum replied. "One of the Bristows?" he questioned. "Yes" Immediately he warmed to me, and started cooing and going "awww... I can see Ivy and Len in him" (their were my great grandparents on my fathers side.

I didn't think much of it, other than that he recognised me just by how I look. We went and saw Nan and Little Tony, who is a young tearaway now. Then Nick, Martine, Rhys and Auntie Shona (wife of the very recently deceased Claude) and we got in two cars and went to the cemetary, where too many of my family lie. The newspaper today had four memorials to Melly, and one to Claude. The family dominated that page today.

While the others went and paid their respects at Claudes bitterly fresh grave, Mum, Nan and I went to see Melly's beflowered resting place. It is sssooo unbelievable that she is dead. It's been two years and I still don't believe it. Said Hi to Harry's resting spot, so cruelly ickle among those adult ones. Then went and saw Claudes still fresh flowers.

Hmm.... then me, Beth and Mum went and saw Auntie Joy and her two HUGE cats (daughters of my Millie) their are almost twice Millie's length.

On the way home I asked about the Bristows. Mum said that my great grandparents were Bristows (and they loved me loads so I was like "cool!"). She said they were the largest Gypsy family in town. "Pardon?" I asked in none too nice a way. "They were Romany's, your father was born in a caravan. They weren't none of this traveller scum, they were real life Roma's"

And so that is how I found out I am part of an ethnic minority. That I am a Gypsy. Not slightly. I am half Roma. As far as I knew the Kay's and Nan's family the Witherdens were out of towners so I had no other relatives in Snodland. But now Mum has told me some home truths. I am related to the school bullies, our family friends, and about half the town. I am related to the two largest families, the Scholings and the Towners. And I am reported to be heir to Len's fortune.

How kerazy is that?! Melly.... I need you to keep me sane!!

Still excited about yesterday. Was great. I love having gay mates, it is so refreshing.
Jae Has A Fab Day In London

So after a quick early morning (1 am) cleaning of house, I feel into an uneasy sleep as was so excited about London trip.

I awoke at 8, said Hi to Mum, then rushed off to the station, where I got a ticket for just £13 (that's the cheapest ticket to London I've ever had!).

While waiting for Ben at Charing Cross station I played the count how many gay men I can cruise game. Always fun (3 by the way).

Ben arrived and we headed off for Kudos, a gay bar with much nice stuff like chairs and things (oooooo.... chairs). Then we made our way to Oxford Street, found the Disney Shop. There was a protest for poor Bangladeshi factory workers outside. Me and ben braved the jeers and crossed the picket line (these protesters should really be in Bangladesh sorting out the problems not ruining childrens trips to London!)

Bought Stacey a wind up, jumping Tigger with a chicken suit (hmmm... sounds madder than it originally looked). Before y'all get jealous she is paying!!

Then we went to Hamley's where Jae ran around oooing and awwwing at everything, and touching and pressing buttons and going slightly mad.... woo... funness!!

We went to HMV, then Prowler Soho (the gay shop in the gay village). Then Stephen phoned, somehow Ben said maybe we should invite him out. Which I did. I did warn Ben, may I add! We had walked about a million miles already so to meet Stephen we got the tube (ssssoooo busy) to Waterloo. Then we walked into town with him (I am ssssooo knowing how to get round London now)

He chatted endlessly, Ben started to regret his decision. We went to Comptons and were joined by Scottish guy and camp bartender friend of Stephens. Stephen offered me sex. With Ben's advice I said no. Me and Ben made our way back to Charing Cross, and said goodbye.Got home around midnight after thirty minute wait for taxi from Sandling station!

Ben is my fave person in whole world today. He is a good friend. He is quiet, silly, sarcastic (in a really nice friendly way that I love), dirty in a very innocent way. He made the day sparkle, thanks Ben!!

Friday, March 07, 2003

My Bed Is Made For Two And There Is Nothing I Can Do

Got my parcel from Amazon which I will tell you about when I have more time.

After work I went out with Zoe to Spoons, had a burger, went and got a McFlurry then moved on to the Leas Club. We were joined by Elliot, Arron and Rob. Then HE arrived. MT that is. He strode in all gorgeous. Then he sat near me. Mmmm... Then he moved over to us and said "Anyone sitting here?" Zoe says "No" Jae sits and stares in a dazed way at him. He says "Can I have the chair?" Zoe says "Yes" Jae sits....

Oh my God....

HE spoke to someone I was with!! Woo!!

Parents home in 4 hours (that's 4 a.m.)

Thursday, March 06, 2003

Strange Days Indeed

That reminds me... I must find my John Lennon album.

Firstly... had a strange incident today. I heard this bloke on the other side of the room talking, I just got this feeling... I know that voice. His voice was rather gay. I thought on it hard and long.... who had a voice just like his? It bothered me for a whole hour, before I realised.... he sounded exactly like I do when I listen to my phone calls... eek... I sound far too gay I have decided.

I was reading an article in the Guardian Online section by Dave Green about blogging, one of those arty farty types who thinks you should only blog if you have something interesting to say. You know, the type who are snobs and regard others efforts as "amateur" etc. One day I am going to start a ring for all us badly designed, badly written blogs and journals... we have a right to blog too you know!!! It is amazing that some people can be so harsh ! if you don't like it... don't read it... simple and concise (by the way I never finished the article.... I took my own advice)...

Oh have I told you... I am going to London on Saturday. I gave everyone at work hourly updates. Jason, remember. 12 at Charing Cross.

The Americans have gone to far this time! And I am not talking about politics for once! See here. Grrr..... if they don't want him fine.. means more gorgeousness for us!

Wednesday, March 05, 2003

Touch me, Touch Me, I Wanna Feel Your Body

It has been a slow day today, where I continued to argue in favour of Charlie's eyebrows (see pic below) at work.

I think Ben may cancel our trip to London.... nnnnnnooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hmm... must clean house, and deliver LD newspapers...


Yayness! I had a missed call from Ben at work and I thought that this would be the usual "Jae we like you, but not that much" kind of excuse for him cancelling the trip to London.

I just got a reply text to one I sent him earlier, and it said... "Don't worry wasn't phoning about anything important just wanted a bit of a chit chat.... looking forward to Sat... Ben x" Cool!!

Oh and am I the only person in the world bar Ellie, Annie and possibly Arron and Rob to know Annies "big secret" before it became common knowledge? (Sorry can't divulge as Annie has forbid it) Got a phone call from Pete and a text from Zoe promising hot gossip.... and I already knew it for months. I didn't realise it was gossip! Why didn't I tell anyone?! I thought you all knew!!

Tuesday, March 04, 2003

Smelly Cat. What Are They Feeding You?!

I smell. Sad but true. I smell because I have damp jeans on (airing cupboards don't work!) and the smelliness of the house is now transferring on to me. I think I should really tidy up... *pong*

It's pancake day!! yayness! But can't make pancakes so will need to eat lots of Kit Kats in compensation.... well can't have them lying around during lent... hmm... I think I'll give Kit Kat's up for lent. Better eat these ones up quick in that case *munch munch*

I am not visiting Melly's rotting corpse till Sunday so am going to London on Saturday with Ben. He said bring a friend so this is an open invitation to all... meet us at 12 at Charing Cross station. Go on. I dare ya *mad loony chuckle* Becky unfortunatly can't make it no longer (ah am so common)

Work was.. interesting..... Stacey read my aXm mag.... told me I need to take some poppers, that she was going to get her boyfriends penis
extended, and told me about how she went and bought some "chicken fillets" (breast enhacers) for a friend from the transgender shop down Black Bull Road. Elina declared herself a dinosaur... just shouted it for no reason... and I came out. Well Stacey got asked "what's that mag?" "it's a gay mag" "a gay mag??" "yes" "who's?" "Jason's of course" *Funny looks from whole office sent in Jason's direction*

Oh well am out and proud now.

Monday, March 03, 2003

We Are Beautiful No Matter What They Say

Ain't that the truth? :op

Oh I have done loads of stuff today. Yeah... right!

I am sure I did something this morning that was interesting. Other than turn up late for work. Erm.... it obviously wasn't that interesting as I can't remember it.

I am such a perve. Spent whole day staring at a bloke in my office's bum. Well it's his own fault for wearing such tight trousers.... mmm.....

House smells of cat... my fav smell..... but my family will psyche if I don't get rid of it.

Oh wait interesting thing was Ben started uni today... and I remembered to text him. See I can be a good friend sometimes. Oh... must text Zoe back... she texted me like 10 hours ago.... ok so this is not turning out to be interesting... it's been a slow day...


Mmmm... I so would... I know he is only 17 but oh.... he is sssooo delicious.

Sunday, March 02, 2003

I Should Be Making Things Easy On Myself

Ok so it wasn't a very long hiatus.... I mean how long do you think I can go without blogging?? And I feel much better. What have I been up to?

Well on Friday I had a really rather good evaluation where my trainer Jackie told me that I was rather good. :o) And I recieved a hundred and ninety squids worth of holiday pay from Eurotunnel so it was a bumper payday (have been internet shopping already!)

Saturday I got a taxi down to Newington (a very small village), and circumnavigated around that via a little used footpath to get to Peene (an even smaller village) where I had a rather bizarre renedevous with The Leader (of the LD) by a broken bridge, I gave him the leaflets I couldn't deliver and he gave me the paper to deliver. Then I wandered the three miles into town to buy aXm and went home.

Thinking I had a few hours before I had to go out I settled in for a rest. Then the door bell rung. It was Frank, Melly-Mels boyfriend who I haven't seen since just after she died. So I had three hours of chatting to him. I discovered Mum and Tony plan to get married on her birthday in Lympne castle. Yuck!

I went out, got vaguely drunk with John and Zoe, and spent night secretly staring at camp bloke on table just across from us. Muhahaha.... he was cute.

Today have done... nothing.... but get my head together and think about things. I realised I may have been seeing my relationship with Stephen a lot differently to how he saw it. And anyhow I am only 19 and I have my whole life ahead of me to have a whole hoard of other boyfriends.
(mmmm..... ) So am a lot more cheerful and upbeat today.

Ben texted me today and invited me shopping in London on Saturday with him and Becky. But I can't go am visiting Smelly-Mels' grave.... see what sacrifices I am making for you missus!!! Tut!! May I just make it clear to Melly.... I am sacrificing going to London just after pay day with Ben so I can go and pay my respects to a piece of ground and her rotting corpse. That is how much I love her.
I've Come To See

So last night I did regain my sparkle which I had missed placed yesterday morning. Smallville was on you see. Long term readers will know that I am obsessed with that show... for purely artistic reasons of course. It has nothing to do with a certain Tom Welling and his lushcious eyes.

Then there was the news (blah!), aa great show called Car Junkies (all about hating 4x4 (SUV's)) which is one of my most popular topics (I HATE them!) and then a show about The Real John Curry, the out skater who won gold and died of AIDS. I have missed TV. Darn my evil social life!! Get's well in the way!!

Today after some lovely debt letters I have almost lost my sparkle... butshan't .. OH NO...spent lunch eating chips under a tree with Stacey as it was such a lovely day