Thursday, February 26, 2009

Oh Yes, It's My Gayaversary!

11 years ago. I'm getting old.

Of course I've been gay all my life, I know that and knew that even in '98. But accepting I was gay, that was a bit more difficult. Well it was until I got the hots for someone!

I won't lie, when I was a teenager I used to wish I wasn't gay. Not because I wanted to get married or lead a "normal" life. But because I didn't want the hassle. And I'm not talking about homophobia. Being gay just makes interactions all a little more tricky.

But being gay is something I love and wouldn't give up now for anything. I love men. I like the different perspective being gay gives me on the world. Being straight would mean a life without Jim, my best friend as well as my boyfriend. That would be truly awful.

I sometimes wonder what straight Jae would be like. Perhaps he is out there, in some other dimension. Wouldn't it be interesting to meet him? Nah... he'd probably vote Tory.

From Dolph Lundgren



Through to Spartan.



Men. Love 'em.

This blogger works for nothing but the joy of writing but always appreciates things bought from his wishlist

The Sexual Cleansing Of Iraq

Most of us LGBTs have heard of what has been going on in Iraq... Maybe it's time we did something?

Watch the video:



Read the Peter Tatchell comment.

Get involved... before it's too late.

This blogger works for nothing but the joy of writing but always appreciates things bought from his wishlist

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Gran Torino and Patrik 1.5

Seen two awesome movies this week. Gran Torino was really good. I'm not the world's biggest Clint Eastwood fan, but his performance in this was pretty darn perfect. The ending of the movie was inspiring if a little sad. Go see it.

Patrik 1.5 is a Swedish movie about a gay couple who adopt a child. An administrive error makes them think they are adopting a 1 and a half year old boy (1.5) but end up with a 15 year old delinquent. Turmoil, trauma and a happy ending result. This movie has it's faults. The gay couple start off being extremely unlikeable, and whilst Gustaf Skarsgård as Göran Skoogh eventually brings his performance back to acceptable I did not warm to the character of Sven Skoogh at all. Thankfully he's not in it so much. The ending is one which will make even the hardest heart melt. Beautifully shot too.

This blogger works for nothing but the joy of writing but always appreciates things bought from his wishlist

Monday, February 23, 2009

Is It My Gayaversary Tomorrow Or Thursday?

1998. 10.25am. Just after Media Studies. I saw HIM. The Sixth Former. That's when I made my decision to accept, embrace and nurture my sexuality rather than continue to despise and fight it. My diary from the time is long lost, thrown out in a teenage fit of depression (I think that was just after my Mum found it). So the question is... is my 11th gayaversary tomorrow or Thursday??

I know it was either a Tuesday or Thursday of that week (as that's when I had Media Studies) and I thus know it was either the 24th or 26th.. but other than that? Nothing... and I'm the sort of person to whom dates are so important, so it sorta annoys me...

Let's just say it's the 26th. 11 years of gay Jae. Happy times. Here's to 11 more (and some, if I'm lucky!)



This blogger works for nothing but the joy of writing but always appreciates things bought from his wishlist

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Is It Really Only Saturday?

Feels like a Sunday which will mean I'll have a pleasant surprise tomorrow!

I feel totally restless right now... like I have a ton of stuff I should be doing but... don't.

Can't relax. Grr...



Aww... Our Lord Spartan looking lovely as always.

This blogger works for nothing but the joy of writing but always appreciates things bought from his wishlist

Friday, February 20, 2009

Instant Karma

I can't help it. That naked photo of Spartan from Gladiators is addictive! That smile. It actually makes me weak at the knees. Literally... not figuratively. That is no man, that is a god.

Farewell Charles Dera, there's a new man in my imaginary life. You've been good to me, never complaining as I yoinked pictures of you from various pages of the internet and never offering payment of any sort. I appreciate that. But you know, straight porn is just so unattractive.

Now... time to start *cough* obsessing over someone new! Yay!

Maybe Jim shouldn't have bought me more than one double of JD and coke... hmm...

This blogger works for nothing but the joy of writing but always appreciates things bought from his wishlist

Jae Has Died. And Gone To Heaven.



Yoinked from Facebook

Words escape me right now. Except... Spartan. Gladiators.

'Nuff Said.

This blogger works for nothing but the joy of writing but always appreciates things bought from his wishlist

Trust Me, You'll Be Seeing This A Lot More



This blogger works for nothing but the joy of writing but always appreciates things bought from his wishlist

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Spartan In Black And White



Mmm... Spartan and American Football playing friends...

Yoinked from the wonderful Tottyland

This blogger works for nothing but the joy of writing but always appreciates things bought from his wishlist

Is No One Else Disturbed By What Is Going On In This Country?

Every day we seem to have yet another story of Government and police power increasing at the cost of our rights. Now the Phelps are banned. If we are going to start banning people for their views, not for inciting violence which the Phelps obviously do not attempt to do (they rejoice in death not encourage it beyond the death penalty for homosexuals something which is in the Bible so if we are going to start banning people for suggesting it can we please ban that vile book too? Oops sorry am I banned now because I called the Bible vile??), then where will it end?

It's not too late to stop the madness. But it very well soon might be. Freedom means nothing if it only applies to the acceptable.

This blogger works for nothing but the joy of writing but always appreciates things bought from his wishlist

Another Gay Sunshine Day

I've been having a rather gay time off work. Let's not talk about the interview in case we jinx it...

I've been watching QAF US and I think I've finally decided it is better than QAF UK, even if this does make my teenage self scream out with rage. Plus I've taken a gander back at one my "Favourite But Nobody Else Likes Them" movies: But I'm A Cheerleader. Love that movie...

Whilst half heartedly tidying the bedroom the other day, I came across the old diaries I rescued a couple of months ago from the parents home. As I picked them up a couple of sheets of paper fell to the floor. Two were the first two letters Stephen ever sent me way back in 2000. In perfect condition one even still had the picture he sent me tucked inside it. I was transported back to that same teenage self as soon as I read them...

But also tucked inside was a letter from Auntie Melly when she was in hospital in March 2000. In absolute perfect condition, not an extra fold or mark on it, it could have been sent yesterday. I was half torn between smiling at her lame jokes and crying at the subtext pouring from each word, so obvious to me now but alas not then, of her terror and her loneliness at her situation. I wish, obviously, what happened never happened at all. But I also wish that if it had to happen that it could of happened when I was older, more independent. I could have been there for her when she needed someone. I'm nearly as old as she was when she died. Hardly a life at all. I'd give anything to have her about still. It's funny how the grieving stops but the pain never goes away.

I can't believe I've never seen this video before...



It has Kathy Najimy in it! I am slacking... thanks Jim for finally bringing it to my attention.

Soooooo poor right now, I'm dreaming of a Diet Coke break and I'm not even dreaming of the hunky guy. Just the Diet Coke would do. Less than 12 hours until pay day...



Did you really think I wasn't dreaming of the hunky guy??? ;) This is me we are talking about.

This blogger works for nothing but the joy of writing but always appreciates things bought from his wishlist

Sunday, February 15, 2009

The Phelps' Are Coming To Britain!

I trust we are all going to give them a warm welcome upon their arrival. It'll be a tad cold in Basingstoke so bring lit torches, and pitchforks (for moving hay onto a bonfire of course!).

I must take issue with one of their signs...

God Hates England; Your Queen Is A Whore


Now Queen Elizabeth II is, of course, not the Queen of England and thus I feel they need to rewrite their signs forthwith to read:

"God Hates The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland; Your Queen Is A Whore".


Get on it folks, you don't want to look stupid after all. Oops too late.

"We will picket them, and see if they actually believe those lies they tell about how tolerant and accepting Brits are."


You don't need to picket us! You just need to read an issue of our most popular newspaper, the Sun, to discover British people are not tolerant at all!!! Bless you for even harbouring such kind thoughts about us even for a nano second or so. Very naive but totally smashing. Thanks Westboro Baptist Church for having such faith in us!

Remember last year when I got all excited about things like Plurk and Twitter? Well that excitement is back! Last time I got excited about it I had no money and the same applies now. Perhaps there is some correlation between social applications and financial issues. Could this be a good sign for Twitter and the like?

Lord Frederick Windsor is getting married! Blow me down with a feather, that was quite unexpected.

On a related note; when will I be able to play with Dave Petrun?



Yoinked from Sexy Muscle Dudes

This blogger works for nothing but the joy of writing but always appreciates things bought from his wishlist

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Another Gay Sequel - Gays Gone Wild



I know, without my own laptop at home I am totally behind with everything... Sarah Connor Chronicles, podcasts and, of course, movies.

But finally today I managed to watch Another Gay Sequel after months of excited waiting.

Another Gay Movie was hilarious. It had bad acting, and was totally puerile, but it had a way about it that made me love it. Plus the soundtrack was awesome. Personally I think it was one of the few gay movies to break the mold out of the same old, same old rubbish that is usually released by TLA and the rest (although that doesn't stop those movies from gracing Jim and mine own over extended DVD collection).

Anyway... Another Gay Sequel was quite a disappointment when judged against the first movie. The acting was even worse, I know of Perez Hilton but see no reason for him featuring so prominently (acting is not one of his strong points, and given that I've never read whatever it is that makes him famous I don't know what his strong points are...), and the jokes were few. But still I did enjoy the movie. The guys were even hotter this time round, the cookiness was high and it's overall message seemed to be pretty darn good! Plus... Brent Corrigan not only managed to be even cuter than normal (a difficult, near impossible task I thought) as Stan the Merman but he acted his small swim-on-role far better than anyone else acted theirs throughout the rest of the movie.





The opening was a truimph mixing a Wizard the Oz homage with a quick explanation for why 3 of the 4 main roles had new actors (I especially enjoyed Nico's mum breaking the fourth wall to criticise the straight actors choosing not to return this time). But it sort of empathised what was wrong with the movie... Muffler, Nico's mum and Andy's parents were the best parts of the original. If only they had been featured more this time round.



Although I have to say Jimmy Clabots (the new Jarod) has amazing nipples.

Buy them here:

Another Gay Movie(UK Amazon, US Amazon)

Another Gay Sequel (UK Amazon,US Amazon)

This blogger works for nothing but the joy of writing but always appreciates things bought from his wishlist

It's Over... Again!!!



Yoinked from Bangkok of the Mind

Happy Valentine's Day! I awoke to both a chocolate cake and a copy of "The Marvel Vault" which was more than a little nice.

I was so pleased to finish work yesterday evening, rushing home to have a nice night in the local with a new menu, random folks and amusing haircuts. I still don't feel like I've got the whole of next week off (punctuated only by an interview on Tuesday morning)... but I'm sure I will soon!!

Erm.. Jim is currently petitioning for me to go get him a sandwich... so I'll need to go find some clothes (not an easy task these days I'm sure there's a t-shirt stealing monster in the bedroom) and head on down to Somerfield... joy... Love ya Jim! x

So just for Jim, today we have Josh Hartnett...



This blogger works for nothing but the joy of writing but always appreciates things bought from his wishlist

Friday, February 13, 2009

Splutter

There I was sitting in the break room at work, sipping gluging my Diet Coke and reading The Economist with This Morning playing in the background. I look up as they were playing something even more annoying than usual (a Youtube style video of a kid pretending to be Mr Bean) when suddenly... a Shadow Man walks across the screen! Of course the kid was on to talk about his encounter...

AH!! I do not want to see Shadow People on telly! This is why I do not watch day time telly... that and the fact that Eamonn Holmes makes my head hurt.

Grr...

This blogger works for nothing but the joy of writing but always appreciates things bought from his wishlist

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

I Surrender

I'm waving the white flag as we speak. You win life. I give up. I suck, you rule etc.

I suck at pretty much everything I've ever turned my incompetent hand to, I'm a total clutz and I couldn't even get suicide right. I'm an unqualified failure. So please, just give me a break for once.

All I ask is one small thing to cheer me up. A day without that now familiar refrain "There are insufficient funds in your account" or without some person moaning at me down the phone. A day without me breaking something, hurting someone or putting something off that can easily be done now.

All I ask is for one day without worrying, without wishing I was someone else. Is that really too much to ask?

Probably but hey doesn't hurt to try.

This blogger works for nothing but the joy of writing but always appreciates things bought from his wishlist

Monday, February 09, 2009

The 4 Hour Commute

In a bid to avoid coming back to our flat where, we discovered as we left on Saturday morning, there is no heating we decided to commute from Lympne to London this morning... who knew there could be such a lot of traffic so early in the morning???

Then the District Line got suspended and I began an underground adventure. Joy. I was half glad to get to work for once...

Dear Constant Reader, a rather large event in my life is currently being discussed and contemplated and whilst I can't guarantee you will be the first to know what it is, I can guarantee you will be told pretty quickly after the first person.

But for now on to more pressing questions such as: Why do I not own an Edward Mendez???



Yoinked from World Asian Beauty.

This blogger works for nothing but the joy of writing but always appreciates things bought from his wishlist

Sunday, February 08, 2009

Before There Was Blogging...

... there was Paramount Comedy Mailbox. And, praise be, there still is Mailbox! God, that used to be a must read on teletext. Remember teletext?? Happy days (which is annoyingly my current most quoted phrase which I say randomly throughtout the day annoying others and myself. Must stop that).

This blogger works for nothing but the joy of writing but always appreciates things bought from his wishlist

Pedigree Chum

Darn it. I've caught the genealogy bug again. I'm in Lympne for the weekend and there wasn't much else to do...

But did work out I'm about 80% Kentish. Woohoo!! I like knowing where I came from, and that despite everything I come from the same place as a large part of my modern ancestors. Happy times.

This blogger works for nothing but the joy of writing but always appreciates things bought from his wishlist

Thursday, February 05, 2009

It's Another Day Closer



Yoinked from Eyecatcher

Today I had a literacy test at Plan B in preparation for an interview. Quite dumbstruck by just how many people have applied for the job. Need to buck up my ambition if I'm going to get this job even though I have been doing it already for 4 months. That sort of thing doesn't count at by the book Plan B where I am just another applicant.

A new intranet was launched today with zero bugs. That just goes to show what can be done in a proper company quite unlike how things worked at EO.

And in other news... it's nearly the weekend and I still have fallen over on the ice outside. This surely cannot last!

This blogger works for nothing but the joy of writing but always appreciates things bought from his wishlist

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Noooo... Snow

The snow has started to melt even in Greenwich. Much sadness. Although my street remains resolutely snowy with the paths now turned into icy death traps. I've managed 3 days without falling over, so I suspect the ice will stay around a little longer just to catch me out. Always the way.

I've got myself an interview for a permanent job at Plan B on the 17th (my week off, d'oh!). Wish me luck... although I'm still hoping furiously I'll win the lottery soon.

I've started writing again, as in stories rather than just this lovely blog! God, I've missed that, even if it is all pretentious crap that I'd never let anyone read in a million years to avoid too much shame.

Just started rereading The Ballad of Halo Jones (US Amazon) again for the first time in ages. God I love that book. It's so melancholy. Mmm...

This blogger works for nothing but the joy of writing but always appreciates things bought from his wishlist

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Report From Ground Zero

If one is to believe all the folks I encountered commuting today, and the Evening Standard, then London suffered some sort of cataclysim yesterday and someone is going to pay.

6 million people didn't go to work for a day? What happened? Erm... they didn't go to work. There were a couple of fatal accidents (I bet that involved people GOING TO WORK) but otherwise nobody suffered too much. 99.9999999999% of everyone has made it through to another day and most of them happier for the snow.

Sure today's journey to work was... interesting. But even though my journey took 75% more time than usual I still made it in on time. How? Because I plan for these sort of eventualities, no need to moan about it. That's life.

On the train home (which arrived as advertised and was busy but no more so than when there are even a couple of minutes of delays on a normal day) people were moaning about how come this country goes to pot over a little bit of snow. Erm... it's not the whole country, just the south east and we go to pot because it's an event, not a normal occurrence.

Best news stories today were about "pavements in residential streets not cleared" (erm, if the residents were so concerned why didn't they go out and clear the path outside their own property???) and people falling down the stairs at Waterloo station (with pictures showing none of the "unfortunate victims" were even bothering to use the hand rail provided, idiots). Really folks, it was only a bit of fun. Relax. It's nearly over... which is soooo sad.

I watched the snow starting to melt outside my window at work today and felt the same thing I feel everytime a snow day comes to an end... sadness. This brilliant column by Simon Jenkins pretty much sums up my feelings about the last couple of days.

Tomorrow everything will return to normal and life shall be all the worse for it.

This blogger works for nothing but the joy of writing but always appreciates things bought from his wishlist

Monday, February 02, 2009

Snow: Don't Have Your Say

I promise. I'm not reading Have Your Say any more... but... I did read today's snow related one. I think they are even more stupid and more reactionary than the posts about Eurovision.

Snow in the UK always makes me laugh that it makes national news. I have just returned from Chamonix in France where snow does not make the slightest impact on life. In the UK as usual we make a big deal out of it with transport stopping, panic buying, delays etc. I laughed this morning when I saw people just driving cars as normal on snowy roads- and skidding everywhere. What do they think would happen! As usual the UK is not prepared for this...

[wooleywoolhead], Newcastle


They've held the Winter Olympics in Chamonix before, I hardly feel that how they deal with snow compares to how southern Britain deals with it. It's not sensible to compare the two at all, more sensible to compare how parts of north eastern Europe. And this whole "snow doesn't bother them in Europe" is sort of put to rest by this Le Monde article, this Liberation article and this De Morgen article.

Why weren't people working through the night to ensure transport was running?
James, London


Because they have families and lives of their own. Plus people did work through the night to keep the main routes open (which on the whole has been successful)... we can't be expected to fund gritters for every driveway and back road when it snows so infrequently.

If it snows often it pays to be fully prepared with village snow ploughs and chains on your tyres. But if it happens once every other year (and in London it's the worst snow in 18 years) what is the frigging point?

No more moaning, I hope all the nice folks out there enjoy their snow day!!

This blogger works for nothing but the joy of writing but always appreciates things bought from his wishlist

Friendly People, Snowy Streets



Having decided that attempting to travel from Greenwich to Hammersmith and back today was probably akin to attempting suicide, I instead headed out to the corner of my street to get supplies for the day... bacon rolls, Diet Coke and Double Deckers seem to be the in thing today.

Despite all the miserable people on telly moaning about "a little bit of snow" (this is not a little bit of snow) "causing such unnecessary chaos" (insert "I made it into work and now I'm pissed no one else did") I found that in my usually 2 minute long walk to the local cafe I held conversation with 3 groups of complete strangers, passing the time of day and hilarious jokes about falling over. I found them, and the lady at the cafe, to be absolutely delighted with the change of pace. Everyone is taking it easy and being all friendly.

Now that's something you don't see on the news.

Those moaning about southern Britain's absolute lack of preparation ignore the fact that it's not really something we NEED to be prepared for. Instead throw off your shoes, call off work and relax. The world will not end.

Parents taking time to play with their children, strangers chatting and smiling in the street and everyone taking their time. We could all learn something from a snow day.

This blogger works for nothing but the joy of writing but always appreciates things bought from his wishlist

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow

Well after many months of feverious hope we finally have a snow day!

I'm hoping for ten inches by the end of the day. ;)

This blogger works for nothing but the joy of writing but always appreciates things bought from his wishlist

Sunday, February 01, 2009

Eurovision In Britain: Permision To Moan

Good Lord above, aren't British people whiny gits? Moan, moan, moan; it's all you hear from the lot of us.

I think it's too much to hope that previous, now gone, generations were any less cynical and downright belligerent. But I still try to imagine that once upon a time there was some optimism and good nature in the collective soul of the British people.

Sure, Eurovision is just a song contest and how people feel about it is hardly the most important topic of our times. But I do feel the reactions to it are indicative of the reactionary, old fogeyism that has settled upon people of all ages in this country. It can be seen in the downright idiotic protectionist protests of the last week (guys we had this argument in the 19th century... free traders won. Let's not start it all up again), and it can be seen in the uncharitible feelings held between all our home nations.

So let's take a look at the wild entries on the BBC's Have Your Say section (for a more regular view at the hilarious/terrifying commentators over there check out spEak You're bRanes)...


It doesn't matter if Jade is the new Madonna, or if the song was the best thing ever written, we still don't stand a chance of winning. Nobody in Europe, especially Eastern Europe likes us or would vote for us, they are only interested in working over here and sending as much money back to their own families and countries. We should give up and let them get on with it. After all, our music speaks for itself on international music charts.
Janet Shaw, Romford, United Kingdom

Ooo... topical. Can't think why Europeans would hate us when we go around saying things like that. Hmm... nope... no reason. You're a self fulfilling prophecy Janet!

Why did Jade not go through the same audition process of the rest of the
hopefuls? Why was she a late entrant? These questions really do need to be addressed to stop the rumours that she was a plant.On the night I thought the twins version was the better eurovision chance
Lesley, Nuneaton


Oh yes, the conspiracy theories, well you saw it here first guys! I mentioned this half heartedly days ago. Her credibility falters at the point she thinks the Twins would be a better choice. Truly Lesley, you must be tone deaf!

Everyone in the uk should boycott this years show and refuse to watch this rubbish until they change the voting system. It is becoming the Slavovision song
contest with the ridiculous childish voting antics that were started years ago
by the Greeks and the Cypriots. They should have stopped them doing it then. Now
it has become the norm. Time to stop this national humiliation every year. Why
do we do it?
Alice Klahr, Kingston


Here's some statistical analysis from 2007 showing that block voting (which does exist but more for cultural reasons and due to more exposure for neighbouring countries songs than political reasons, I mean the Irish hate us but they always seem to give us some points!) is not as prevalent as the likes of Alice and Terry Wogan would have one believe. Plus isn't this a great thing to teach our children, when the odds are stacked against you, just give up! Absolutely wonderful.

It would be easier to state what I do NOT like about the Eurovision Song Content. It is a farce. I have never heard of, seen or heard of this Jade Ewen. And I do not wish to. She is a nobody that one man has chosen to stand up for Britain. It is not valid that one chap will decide and of course he is monied. I hate this contest and feel exactly the same as Terry Wogan about it. I think this year he is not bothering himself about such a fixed, put-up show. J
It's nothing but a farce. Joy
Joy Pattinson, Switzerland


Does anyone really think the BBC would be so stupid as to actually fix the public vote after the last couple of years of scandal? Does Joy even know there was a public vote?

Couldn't care less. I'm not British. And most of all I've not watched this show since my childhood days. I won't until they change the rules, requiring every nation to submit a song in their own language. Actually the idea of such an event is great and could be a symbol of European integration just as much as the Euro currency, but in it's current form it is not even worth watching as a joke.
[markus_uk], United Kingdom


You have some strong opinions for someone who couldn't care less.

Honestly, sometimes I think the whole country is just full of dreary sceptics and cynics.

Good luck to Jade, fingers crossed for a victory! And if you don't win, at least you gave it a shot. That is really what counts after all.

Right... I need a Dima moment to calm myself down.



Plenty to moan about there, but no complaints ;)

This blogger works for nothing but the joy of writing but always appreciates things bought from his wishlist