Melodifestivalen: Jae's Choice

Need I say more?

Eurovision You Decide 2018

Mel Giedroyc and Måns Zelmerlöw brought us as a decidedly Swedish contest to select the British entry for Eurovision 2018 (there was a tribute to Abba, showing us yet again that Britain lives very far in the past...).

"Crazy" by Raya was a very 90s song with no real umph. Didn't do it for me.

"Astronaut" by Liam Tamne was alright. Like a low-key Heroes. Which is the problem, low-key.

"Legends" by Asanda. To be honest with you... didn't actually understand many of the words of this. Just a bunch of screeching. No thanks.

"You" by Jaz Ellington was flipping amazing. Really good. Maybe not for Eurovision but... man he can sing!!!!

"Storm" by SuRie was good. Not a Eurovision winner but a Eurovision contender, that's for sure.

"I Feel The Love" by Goldstone. Just no.

I voted for Jaz Ellington as he deserved but when SuRie won I wasn't too disappointed. She was the best of a bad bunch of others.

Jae's Eurovision 2014 Faves

Oh Dear Constant Reader, I've been very lax about Eurovision (and about keeping you updated, sorry!).

I was pretty saddened by the results of the semi-finals with many of my faves missing out to some truly appalling entries *cough* Poland *cough*. But perhaps there is a silver lining in that this means this year's UK entry has less intense competition!

And for once, excusing Scooch who I had to love because... well... they were Scooch, the UK entry is officially my favourite song of the contest!

Molly's "Children of the Universe" 




I also liked Finland's entry. Very pop.

Softengine - "Something Better"


Though Austria's entry, very popular on Twitter, didn't do it for me on the night of the 2nd semi-final those songs I much preferred were mostly eliminated and thus the fact it was well sung wins it some brownie points.

Conchita Wurst - "Rise Like A Phoenix"



I am generally a big fan of Ukraine's Eurovision songs. This year is no different, the stage act seems to reuse a set piece from "Be My Valentine!"

Maria Yaremchuk - "Tick - Tock"


She wasn't my pick from Melodifestivalen but Sanna Nielsen's "Undo" has grown on me. One of the best songs at this year's contest.

Sanna Nielsen - "Undo" 

Eurovision 2013: Austria

Natália Kelly is doing the honours for Austria this year with "Shine"



A good song, a great voice but seems to lack the sort of "hook" that I tend to like. I'm a man of very simple tastes. Doesn't feel like a winner to me.

Eurovision 2013: Finland

Krista Siegfrids is representing Finland with Marry Me. I'm not ashamed to say that I am absolutely loving this one. Upbeat, very early Noughties vibe (a bit Avril Lavigne meets Katy Perry) and it is the sort of song that I pretend I don't like normally.

Eurovision 2013: United Kingdom

Bonnie Tyler is supposedly best known for "Total Eclipse of the Heart" but personally I remember her best for "Holding Out For A Hero". This probably goes a long way towards showing the sort of rubbish I enjoy. But pretty soon she will be best known to us all as the 2013 UK entry for the Eurovision Song Contest!!

The song she will be performing is "Believe In Me", and it is actually pretty good.



It is the first UK entry in a long time that I actually enjoy listening to. It's got a nice "long drive accompaniment" vibe to it that is right up my alley when it comes to music. Does it have a chance? I'd like to think it has a shot, but then again I was scandalised at the low placing of Scooch so I'm really not someone who can judge!

The real issue is how the performance will go. I'll be very interested to see how Bonnie manages to sing this live and not look as awkward as she does at some points in the video. But I have faith! I Believe In Bonnie. Onwards to Malmo!

Eurovision 2013: Lithuania

Andrius Pojavis' Something is Lithuania's entry into the Eurovision Song Contest 2013



It's not just me is it? He can't sing, right? Good, glad it wasn't just me...

Ben Ivory: The Righteous Ones From Germany's "Song For Malmo"

As I begin to pay more attention to Eurovision (just 4 months to go people!) I tend to pick up on a few good songs from the national selections. But this one is something special. Ben Ivory is in the running for Germany's nomination to go to Malmo in May and his entry "The Righteous Ones" is truly awesome. Very 80s.

Eurovision 2013: Ukraine

Zlata Ognevich's "Gravity" is the Ukrainian entry for the Eurovision Song Contest 2013.



The land of Ruslana, Verka and Svetlana has given us some absolutely fantastic Eurovision tunes in the past. This is absolutely not one of them. I hate this song. I was already politically against the Ukraine after their moves to copy St. Petersburg's anti-gay laws, but with this song I don't even need to vote politically. BORING.

Eurovision 2013: Belgium

Roberto Bellarosa's Love Kills is Belgium's Eurovision Song Contest 2013 entry.



Cute but I really don't like this one. It is just a bit nothingy. Poor show Belgium

Eurovision 2013: Belarus

Alyona Lanskaya's Rhythm Of Love is the Belarussian entry for Eurovision Song Contest 2013



Plus points: I love what the male dancers are wearing. A nice poppy tune.

Negative points: She has a terrible voice. Belarus is not free! Check our Liberal Youth's Bears for Belarus.

Eurovision 2013: Switzerland

Heilsarmee - You and Me is Switzerland's entry for the Eurovision Song Contest 2013



In the interest of being fair, and in the spirit of Eurovision, I shall put aside my reservations about the Salvation Army and give this due consideration.

I'll admit I've always had a weakness for Swiss entries, and this one is pretty good (for a Eurovision song). However it seems to lack a hook and I can't quite help thinking it comes over a little flat. They might put on a good show in the semi-finals. You never know!

Eurovision 2012: When Will Britain Learn?

It's sad to see someone like Engelbert Humperdinck brought low by cruel fate. He gave his all to win Eurovision and we should be proud of him.

However it's that time, like every year, where I point out exactly what the United Kingdom is doing wrong at Eurovision.

Before I do, let's just get one canard out of the way. Block voting. It's an issue that everyone always brings up, and some in this country use it as an excuse for our poor performance. Firstly they forget we engage in neighbourly voting with our friends in Ireland, so we really can't moan about it in others. And secondly, though block voting absolutely exists (Greece/Cyprus, Germany/Turkey, the Balkans, the Baltic, Scandinavia, the former USSR, Spain/Portugal), it does not mean a good song won't do well. Sweden won last night, Germany won in 2010, we got 5th position in 2009. Block voting punishes poor songs more than you'd expect but doesn't do enough to stop the momentum of an outstanding song. Here are some stats from 2007 (under a different voting system, I might add, but still relevant) which show this clearly.

So with that out of the way, what could we do better?

1) Choose a good song. We consistently choose bland songs that might be okay if heard at a restaurant but really don't cut it when put up for a television music contest. Remember when we got Lloyd-Weber and then Waterman to write our songs? Has-been, past their prime songwriters of a different generation. We get what we deserve if we aren't using the Eurovision song contest to highlight the talented songwriters we have all over the place in this country. We need people who are on the way up, not heading towards retirement! Be honest, did you see anyone (even in the UK) claim that Engelbert's was their favourite song of the contest?

2) Choose the right artist. We have a habit in this country of either sending someone completely unknown to Eurovision (Jade, that guy from 2010, Daz Sampson) or an act that's basically retired (Scooch, Blue, Engelbert). We have a huge diversity of amazing singers and acts in this country. We are one of the music capitals of the world. And yet we never send an active, known, talented act to Eurovision. And then we get surprised that we don't win! Send One Direction and watch us clean up.

3) Do a grand European tour. One of the many things Jade Ewan (5th place remember!) got right was appearing on lots of European TV shows before the contest in 2009. We must promote our song to others. We are so disengaged from Europe these days, and seem to view the Continent (which I can see clearly from the end of my street!) as some distant, unfathomable beast. It's not, if we get our good artist and our good song on the airwaves before the contest then we shall give ourselves an actual chance.

4) Lose graciously. Whilst all the other acts applauded Sweden's act as she walked to the stage last night, our contingent in the green room was having a group hug. Sheesh, show at least a little decorum. No wonder we do so badly, I wouldn't vote for us after that!

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The 57th Eurovision Song Contest: I Can't Believe It's Not A Live Blog!

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Eurovision Is Tonight!!!

I took the decision not to listen to Eurovision songs before the contest this year. Partly this was due to laziness, partly due to dread at the thought of some of the awful songs I'd encounter and partly to try to keep it feeling fresh for once. Usually I've heard the songs a few times before the contest and it's taken away a little of the magic for me.

And I think it worked, I enjoyed seeing what the songs were like on the night during the semi-finals, but something else has conspired to take away the Eurovision magic this year; politics. Sadly Azerbaijan's human rights record leaves a lot to be desired and that has tainted the contest for me. Anyway, here are my favourite songs from the semis that have made it through!

Norway 




I won't lie, I'm not that impressed with the song itself. But Norway has obviously got some sort of Eric Saade cloning technology in use here. HOT.

Greece



I quite enjoyed this piece of Eurovision fluff. :) Greece has a good record of putting up "Eurovision" songs (that means the sort I like!)

Ukraine




Ruslana, Verka et al. I tend to like the Ukraine entry. This is no different, they know how to put on a show. :)

Estonia



Looking good. No really... looking really good.

Ireland



I wasn't a big fan of the first semi-final's selection, so despite myself I find this song pretty alright! They are still total prats...

Onwards to tonight when the Hump will Eurovision for the UK!! See that positive thinking there... Come on Britain!!!

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Eurovision 2011: Live Blog

Georgia Meh. Make it stop. 

Serbia It's alright. I'm on the hard stuff now, whisky

Ukraine Again failed to pay attention to the song... sand artist epic.

Spain. 

Iceland YAY! Love the song, had it in my head all day. Touching, fun performance

Slovenia Entering "Can this go on any longer?" territory??? 

Azerbaijan Meh. 

Austria I liked a lot, but very mixed reactions on Twitter

Romania Great but not as good as in semi final

Germany My favourite song. But let down so badly in tonights performance... :( 

Moldova There are no words... 

UK Could've been a bit better

Switzerland I like that song. Summed up "Na na na na na na na na"

Italy Godawful, but it's nice to see them back... I think.. 

France Yawn. 

Russia Perfect singer for awful 1990s song with boring dance routine. 

Greece C....Rap 

Estonia Great performance, a magic trick and catchy song. :) 

Sweden I love Eric Saade. That is all... 

Ireland *KILL ME NOW*

Hungary Love the song... but performance was not that good today. :(

Lithuania Needs a much stronger singer, but she does sign language so... forgiven.,..

Denmark Cute singer, LOVE the song. Jedward wannabe though... 

Bosnia and Herzegovina Rubbish, nothing exciting or interesting about it. Bah!!!

Finland Love the song, love the singer, love the message. Never going to win though... 

Loved it... :) Best opening of Eurovision ever!

No Lena singing Satellite??? Presenters singing instead... erm... genius?

I wish they'd stop talking over the presenters!!!

Graham Norton... vast improvement over Scott Mills and Sara Cox.... 

START Less than 30 minutes to go... Liveblogging Eurovision like it's 2009 all over again. Oh yes!

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How Have You Been?

Dearest Constant Reader, what would I do without you? On Twitter you're judged for tweeting too much, or tweeting too little, or you have even the most vague and innocuous remarks dissected and analysed until one feels quite tired. But not here. I can pretty much write and publish anything I want without controversy or comment (except insults about Simon Hughes or porn pictures of certain celebrities, as we've learnt in the past).

People are miserable old so-and-so's, aren't they? Ironic that I should say that given the reams of misery that fill this little blog of mine... enough tales of depression and low self-esteem to keep a counsellor busy for years. But I'm mellowing with age, my depression's seem few and far between and my low self-esteem is slowly disappearing as I stopped caring what other people think. As Jim often tells me, I'm "growing up".

What have I found since I was last on here...

the Pullman: a delightful little pub off Rendezvous Street. Can't believe I've never been there before but the staff are always very welcoming.
Googies: a bit offbeat, but a nice cafe with good food and the occasional nice thing to look at. The art's good too ;)
Gary and Glenda the Gulls are back... and have three eggs. Jim and I are going to be Uncle's again!
Food is good. Diets are BAD.
American football players may not be rough and tough like rugby players but they have their upsides:

I also stood for election. Cool, huh?

Jim has left for Las Vegas this weekend and my brother and sister are due to arrive any minute. A "fun" week ahead... oh what am I saying... it's EUROVISION week!!

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Eurovision And This Blog

As we continue the retrospective over the 10 years of this blog, it's time to take a look at that one topic that has come round time and again... Eurovision!

The first Eurovision post was a relatively small affair. By the next year it did become a little more coherent.

2004 and 2005 remain unrecorded, due to my year off and my May 2005 move from Folkestone to London interfering. By 2006 things had evolved to point where I was live blogging the show (and even the new-fangled Semi Final). 2007 was the year when things started to get a little out of hand with live blogs of the semi final and the final followed by... analysis!

2008. Eurovision only went and put in TWO semi-finals. So we had both live blog (here and here), plus the final, results analysis and the commentary (where I actually went and called for Terry Wogan to stand down)

2009 toned it down slightly with the semi finals (here and here), the final and some commentary.

2010... I was moving on Eurovision day and watched it later... so no live blog. What a Jae fail! This year I shall do better....

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The Hot Men Of Melodifestivalen

If you'd like to know my thoughts on Melodifestivalen and Your Country Needs You check my post here, or just keep up to date with Eurovision then check here. This post is dedicated to the hot guys of Sweden's Melodifestivalen 2010

Måns Zelmerlöw

Eric Saade

Dolph Lundgren

Ola Svensson

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Tidbits

1) My usual Eurovision post will not be happening this year. Well not here anyway! Instead it is now over on my latest blog (yes, Dear Constant Reader, the world really was crying out for yet another blog from me!) here. It shall be kept up to date as per tradition and my live blog etc. will happen over there this year.

2) Folkestone, Folkestone, Folkestone. The move must happen sometime this year. And whilst I am not looking forward to the stress of moving, every time it's brought up or Jim shows me a property, my heart goes all a flutter. There is something deeply draining about living in London, and I cannot wait to escape this place. It's been good but it's time to go home.

Jim was just showing me a flat which is directly opposite Faulty Towers Hotel (or what used to be it anyway). Don't you think it'd would be most fitting to return there? Full circle indeed!

3) Nuf the Venus Fly Trap has sprouted a flower stalk. Yes, through some miracle, she still lives despite drowning/drying out several times over. I've ignored every suggestion given on her upkeep by every expert thus I shall ignore their advice and let her flower. For better or worse, it's what she wants to do!

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