Thursday, October 24, 2002

I am poorly again. In the head. Sometimes it comes in quietly, creeping into my mind until I feel so depressed I could explode. But other times it hits me like an express train. This is one of those times

I woke up this morning and SLAM! there it was. Confidence seemed to ooze away from me. Happiness packed its bags and has now taken a holiday. Illness is the absence of love. I certainly have no love of myself today.

I then got up and went up the shop to get my news paper and obligatory bottle of Pepsi max. It was okay until on the way back some old git stopped me, and said "Cor, it must be cold up there this morning". I had to restrain myself from 1) hitting him 2) sobbing and 3) flinging myself under the nearest bus.

I got home, and came on here, as usually the net cheers me up when I am down. But blogger wasn't working. So I went to my usual places for a chat. And my usual chat partners were there. "Yah!" I thought they are always fun, and silly, just what I need. That was when they started doing their flirting thing with me, telling me I am cute and stuff. Usually I think that's great.

But today it only hurt me more. They don't know me. I am not cute, and if we ever meet I would just be dumped on as freakily tall, slightly bizarre Jae.

"I went thru some nights consumed by shadows" where is this from? Ten points for guessing correctly.

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