Grrrr.... Jason's Never Ending Rants
I was watching 4x4 on BBC1 last night and it really annoyed me (what doesn't?!). It was about runaways and missing children in the wake of the mysterious disappearance of Milly Dowling. Throughout they consistently referred to runaways like this:- "the runaways who put their families through hell."
Talk about blaming the victim. Its like calling a rape victim "the rape victims who give their attackers pleasure." Its disgusting. It appears that it never crossed the minds of the producers that a person who runs away for more than 72 hours is usually suffering terrible mental anguish.
Right have you ever been looking at porn and thought "Gosh aren't those curtains awful, they really clash with that rug". Well neither have I!! But someone has and have devoted a whole site to it bringing in various experts to judge the interiors. Go here and check out "Obscene Interiors". Don't worry all the pictures have been blacked out.
Tuesday, April 30, 2002
Monday, April 29, 2002
Somebody think of the children!!
Why do I always get the impression that British people lack a sense of humour? David Beckham does a tongue in cheek photo shoot with baby oil and glittery pants. And what is the consensus on Channel 4's new breakfast show "RI:SE"? "He is an England captain. He is supposed to be a role model. Is this what we want our boys to copy?!" - Joe Bloggs from Manchester. Get a life you fools. How on Earth can David Beckham (Mr. Stupid himself) corrupt children?! He is so innocent it hurts!!
I am trying not to get annoyed with Brits (I have decided not to be one anymore, just call me human). But really when the national newspaper is The Sun, when people say things like "Hitler had the right idea", when homosexuality is still percieved as something even homosexuals don't want, how can I call myself British? I'm proud to be me. I hate Nazis. I like being nice to people and can't stand fuss. I used to think that was what being British was all about. I was wrong.
Any way to cheer myself up I decided to clean up my blog design a little and make my links tidier.
Please don't blame me for doing quizs all the time. It's just that Rina finds the best!!
who's your ideal NSYNC sex partner? find out here
Why do I always get the impression that British people lack a sense of humour? David Beckham does a tongue in cheek photo shoot with baby oil and glittery pants. And what is the consensus on Channel 4's new breakfast show "RI:SE"? "He is an England captain. He is supposed to be a role model. Is this what we want our boys to copy?!" - Joe Bloggs from Manchester. Get a life you fools. How on Earth can David Beckham (Mr. Stupid himself) corrupt children?! He is so innocent it hurts!!
I am trying not to get annoyed with Brits (I have decided not to be one anymore, just call me human). But really when the national newspaper is The Sun, when people say things like "Hitler had the right idea", when homosexuality is still percieved as something even homosexuals don't want, how can I call myself British? I'm proud to be me. I hate Nazis. I like being nice to people and can't stand fuss. I used to think that was what being British was all about. I was wrong.
Any way to cheer myself up I decided to clean up my blog design a little and make my links tidier.
Please don't blame me for doing quizs all the time. It's just that Rina finds the best!!
who's your ideal NSYNC sex partner? find out here
Sunday, April 28, 2002
Jay Kay Does London - Again
WARNING - 'Tis Very Long!!
There I was preparig for my meeting when Chris and Pete showed up and asked if I wanted to go for a drive with them before the meeting. I agreed, stupidly(!!), and off we went. Within half an hour Pete had an idea. "Lets go visit Claire!" he screamed spontaneously.
So that was hour half an hour later I found my self waiting for a train at Folkestone Central Station trying to teach Pete how to use the ticket machine. As it was an hour until the next train to London Bridge, Pete decided to try and find something diverting to do. This resulted in him reading "Take A Break" in a Pete stylee. I can not replicate that here but it was extremely funny!! Then a strange bloke started to hover near us (not literally although that would have been fun!!) and every time I laughed he quietly guffawed.
On the train we played "I Spy" to pass the time. "Is it Mahatma Gandhi?" asks Pete. "No as I said it starts with an S" I would suggest. As you can imagine with our brilliant minds the game lasted quite a long time. Then we discovered the "Never Ending Tunnel", a tunnel so long I may have lost a wholke year of my life in there.
We arrived at around 20:30 and were meet by Claire and three of her friends. We immediatly headed for Kings College's Student Union Bar. Here Pete was voted most likely to be gay and for a few brief seconds Claire's mates considered us a couple (before I put them right!!). The student union was nice the club even better. It was a mini version of Event II, with such classic music as "Like a Prayer" - Madonna and "Whereever Whenever" - Shakira. At one point some bloke tried to dance with me which was uncomfortable.
After trying to convince Claire's mates I was in fact gay (I still don't think they believe me!!) we headed back to Claire's house. I slept on Claires floor.
At around 10:00 we got up and had pizza and Micro Chips for brunch. Claire was the perfect host may I add. We arranged to meet Stephen at London Bridge Station and after introducing him to Claire and Pete we began a suprisigly brief search for the Millennium Bridge. It was quite nice (although I think it'd be far better if it still wobbled!!). After that we went to the Tate Modern. It was okay. Stephen spent most of the time proclaiming to the world which men he saw were gay, or cuddling and kissing me. I am not comfortable with this anymore not since the stone throwing incident. To think I used to be the one who held his hand proudly as we wandered homophobic Folkestone! Artwork there was almost always described a bit like this:
Although this piece appears to be a glass of water on a shelf, the artist maintains it is in fact an oak tree(!)"
After the gallery we wandered towards a Slug and Lettuce (Stephen: The Slag and Lesbian) pub via a river walk and a market (where I was eyed up by some Spanish market merchant much to Stephen's annoyance). And after a drink me and Pete headed home by train. Thanks Pete for subsisdising this trip!!
After about an hour and a halfs respite back home I set off for Wetherspoons. There was John, Laura, Pete, Chris, Sarah and her deliciously cute "ex" Adam (we shall call him Adam 2 to avoid confusion with Adam, our absent friend). It was an okay evening in which Chris got very drunk, and while Sarah, Chris, Laura, Pete and John went off clubbing (I hope you danced this time Pete!!) I went home. Phew what a weekend.
WARNING - 'Tis Very Long!!
There I was preparig for my meeting when Chris and Pete showed up and asked if I wanted to go for a drive with them before the meeting. I agreed, stupidly(!!), and off we went. Within half an hour Pete had an idea. "Lets go visit Claire!" he screamed spontaneously.
So that was hour half an hour later I found my self waiting for a train at Folkestone Central Station trying to teach Pete how to use the ticket machine. As it was an hour until the next train to London Bridge, Pete decided to try and find something diverting to do. This resulted in him reading "Take A Break" in a Pete stylee. I can not replicate that here but it was extremely funny!! Then a strange bloke started to hover near us (not literally although that would have been fun!!) and every time I laughed he quietly guffawed.
On the train we played "I Spy" to pass the time. "Is it Mahatma Gandhi?" asks Pete. "No as I said it starts with an S" I would suggest. As you can imagine with our brilliant minds the game lasted quite a long time. Then we discovered the "Never Ending Tunnel", a tunnel so long I may have lost a wholke year of my life in there.
We arrived at around 20:30 and were meet by Claire and three of her friends. We immediatly headed for Kings College's Student Union Bar. Here Pete was voted most likely to be gay and for a few brief seconds Claire's mates considered us a couple (before I put them right!!). The student union was nice the club even better. It was a mini version of Event II, with such classic music as "Like a Prayer" - Madonna and "Whereever Whenever" - Shakira. At one point some bloke tried to dance with me which was uncomfortable.
After trying to convince Claire's mates I was in fact gay (I still don't think they believe me!!) we headed back to Claire's house. I slept on Claires floor.
At around 10:00 we got up and had pizza and Micro Chips for brunch. Claire was the perfect host may I add. We arranged to meet Stephen at London Bridge Station and after introducing him to Claire and Pete we began a suprisigly brief search for the Millennium Bridge. It was quite nice (although I think it'd be far better if it still wobbled!!). After that we went to the Tate Modern. It was okay. Stephen spent most of the time proclaiming to the world which men he saw were gay, or cuddling and kissing me. I am not comfortable with this anymore not since the stone throwing incident. To think I used to be the one who held his hand proudly as we wandered homophobic Folkestone! Artwork there was almost always described a bit like this:
After the gallery we wandered towards a Slug and Lettuce (Stephen: The Slag and Lesbian) pub via a river walk and a market (where I was eyed up by some Spanish market merchant much to Stephen's annoyance). And after a drink me and Pete headed home by train. Thanks Pete for subsisdising this trip!!
After about an hour and a halfs respite back home I set off for Wetherspoons. There was John, Laura, Pete, Chris, Sarah and her deliciously cute "ex" Adam (we shall call him Adam 2 to avoid confusion with Adam, our absent friend). It was an okay evening in which Chris got very drunk, and while Sarah, Chris, Laura, Pete and John went off clubbing (I hope you danced this time Pete!!) I went home. Phew what a weekend.
Friday, April 26, 2002
A Silver Lining
OK so I am not going to Brighton tonight after all. "Why?" I hear you cry. Well I am going to what is being described as the first meeting of "The Make Mr. Lamberts Life Hell Club". We refuse to allow the bastard (who continued lying until the very end it would seem, as he tried to convince Jelena he wasn't running away yesterday) from getting away with his crimes. I am still owed £632, Besh and Jacqui are owed similar amounts, Mr. Creighton and his wife Jackie were nearly ripped off for £11,000 before I gave them a courtesy phone call. Doctor Gaur has lost at least £20,000.
We know every address he has (including the East African home of Josie's mum). My granddad has already got the mayor of the French town, in which Peter has a house, to refuse him planning permission for a new barn. We shall be paying visits to his Sandgate home tonight.
Mr. Creighton says that if he does get a lease for the hotel I will get a chance of first refusal (its a good thing I assure you!!) for any job I want. He even said he was tempted to give me money yesterday as he saw how angry and hurt I was. We are going out next weekend to discuss how to go forward.
So Mr. Lambert your days are numbered. We know where you live. (22 Riveira Court, Sandgate High Street, Sandgate, Kent) My part in this campaign is to use my granddads money to investigate Mr. Lamberts past business dealings and publish them here. I have a vendetta. I will succeed.
I've also added a couple of new links check them out.
OK so I am not going to Brighton tonight after all. "Why?" I hear you cry. Well I am going to what is being described as the first meeting of "The Make Mr. Lamberts Life Hell Club". We refuse to allow the bastard (who continued lying until the very end it would seem, as he tried to convince Jelena he wasn't running away yesterday) from getting away with his crimes. I am still owed £632, Besh and Jacqui are owed similar amounts, Mr. Creighton and his wife Jackie were nearly ripped off for £11,000 before I gave them a courtesy phone call. Doctor Gaur has lost at least £20,000.
We know every address he has (including the East African home of Josie's mum). My granddad has already got the mayor of the French town, in which Peter has a house, to refuse him planning permission for a new barn. We shall be paying visits to his Sandgate home tonight.
Mr. Creighton says that if he does get a lease for the hotel I will get a chance of first refusal (its a good thing I assure you!!) for any job I want. He even said he was tempted to give me money yesterday as he saw how angry and hurt I was. We are going out next weekend to discuss how to go forward.
So Mr. Lambert your days are numbered. We know where you live. (22 Riveira Court, Sandgate High Street, Sandgate, Kent) My part in this campaign is to use my granddads money to investigate Mr. Lamberts past business dealings and publish them here. I have a vendetta. I will succeed.
I've also added a couple of new links check them out.
When stranges things happen, are you going round the twist?
Well instead of waiting to be called to go to Faulty Towers I went out with Chris, Zoe and Pete down to Gee's. Sonia the barmaid was there who was really nice about the whole me not ging to the interview at the Burstin. And her husband? Hubba hubba. ;o)
Andrew the barman was there. It amazes me how well Beer Googles work on him. One minute he is a fairly average bloke (extremely bad barman) the next he is an outstandingly cute, and very suave bar man.
Jelena phoned to tell me what had be going on in the strange world of hotel management and it would seem the Lambert's went back at about 9p.m. last night. A HUGE row insured and when Mr. Lambert realised he was in a lot of trouble with everyone he "bravely" ran away. He is such a man. Dr. Gaur and Jelena stood in his way to stop his car from leaving. He actually seriously attempted to run them both over. He is psycho. He is currently somewhere in Sandgate (another part of Folkestone, Gee's is there). I know what his car looks like and ma go for a wander today. On another note I now have his French address/phone number, his Peasmarsh address/phone number and his mum's address. He cannot hide for long. (evil laugh).
Well instead of waiting to be called to go to Faulty Towers I went out with Chris, Zoe and Pete down to Gee's. Sonia the barmaid was there who was really nice about the whole me not ging to the interview at the Burstin. And her husband? Hubba hubba. ;o)
Andrew the barman was there. It amazes me how well Beer Googles work on him. One minute he is a fairly average bloke (extremely bad barman) the next he is an outstandingly cute, and very suave bar man.
Jelena phoned to tell me what had be going on in the strange world of hotel management and it would seem the Lambert's went back at about 9p.m. last night. A HUGE row insured and when Mr. Lambert realised he was in a lot of trouble with everyone he "bravely" ran away. He is such a man. Dr. Gaur and Jelena stood in his way to stop his car from leaving. He actually seriously attempted to run them both over. He is psycho. He is currently somewhere in Sandgate (another part of Folkestone, Gee's is there). I know what his car looks like and ma go for a wander today. On another note I now have his French address/phone number, his Peasmarsh address/phone number and his mum's address. He cannot hide for long. (evil laugh).
Thursday, April 25, 2002
This is how the cookie crumbles*
So I stormed up to Faulty Towers in the hope that I would get my money. I was fobbed off again. So I went to Skuba, had a drink (this is at 10 in the morning) laughed at Zoe, Chris, Laura, Sam, and Elliot who are now the laughing stock of everyone for running away on Saturday.
As I wandered home I met Jacqui who told me to go to the hotel as the bastards were running away for France today!!
Rushed back to find Tank in charge of bar, I shouted at him and told him to fuck off out of MY hotel. Dealt with the prospective new owners who might give me a job. I phoned Dr. Gaur and was immediately made temporary manager until his daughter arived. She, Roberto and Jacqui arrived within the hour. The bastards will be coming to collect the rest of their stuff tonight. Everyone (Mr. Singh, the Gaurs, the prospective owners, Jelena, me, Jacqui, Roberto, Besh and the police(!)) will be waiting for them. And if that doesn't work I have got their address in France plus their phone number. Do you know I really fancy a booze cruise now you come to mention it.....
* please note no cookies were hurt in posting this blog.
So I stormed up to Faulty Towers in the hope that I would get my money. I was fobbed off again. So I went to Skuba, had a drink (this is at 10 in the morning) laughed at Zoe, Chris, Laura, Sam, and Elliot who are now the laughing stock of everyone for running away on Saturday.
As I wandered home I met Jacqui who told me to go to the hotel as the bastards were running away for France today!!
Rushed back to find Tank in charge of bar, I shouted at him and told him to fuck off out of MY hotel. Dealt with the prospective new owners who might give me a job. I phoned Dr. Gaur and was immediately made temporary manager until his daughter arived. She, Roberto and Jacqui arrived within the hour. The bastards will be coming to collect the rest of their stuff tonight. Everyone (Mr. Singh, the Gaurs, the prospective owners, Jelena, me, Jacqui, Roberto, Besh and the police(!)) will be waiting for them. And if that doesn't work I have got their address in France plus their phone number. Do you know I really fancy a booze cruise now you come to mention it.....
* please note no cookies were hurt in posting this blog.
Is it his hair? Is it his eyes? No it's Superman!
I went to Dover with Laura yesterday. It wasn't as bad as I had feared. But stil its Dover. And I joined yet another charity (Amnesty International). I really must stop doing that. Bought The Beach video and Notes from a small island by Bill Bryson (where my original copy went is beyond me although I suspect it is in a bookstore in Rome thats where all my books are).
Smallville was on Channel Four last night. I have definetly started to develop a very healthy interest in Tom Selling (AKA Clark Kent). That hairstyle really is irresistable.
I went to Faulty Towers lasrt night to collect my money as promised to me by Steve on Monday. They tried to offer me a check. Did they think I would be even more foolish and accept it?! I turned them down and they told me to come back today.
Jacqui phoned me up last night to wish me well and I can now give you, for the first time, the complete low down on the collapse of the hotel. Firstly Jacqui and Roberto have moved in and are basically holding Mr. Lambert hostage until he pays them their money. They have informed Dr. Gaur of the situation and he says he has a little surprise in store for them!! Mr. Lambert and Josie said they would stay until the drinks ran out. After which they promptly sold all the drink to Skuba (which officially broke of relations with the hotel on Monday). They are planning on running away to France on Saturday. So how much of my £632 I will ever see is questionable.
I have got like a hundred applicaton forms for jobs ranging from Safeways Petrol staton all the way to ABC Holidays up in Smeeth (a small insignificant village near Ashford)
I went to Dover with Laura yesterday. It wasn't as bad as I had feared. But stil its Dover. And I joined yet another charity (Amnesty International). I really must stop doing that. Bought The Beach video and Notes from a small island by Bill Bryson (where my original copy went is beyond me although I suspect it is in a bookstore in Rome thats where all my books are).
Smallville was on Channel Four last night. I have definetly started to develop a very healthy interest in Tom Selling (AKA Clark Kent). That hairstyle really is irresistable.
I went to Faulty Towers lasrt night to collect my money as promised to me by Steve on Monday. They tried to offer me a check. Did they think I would be even more foolish and accept it?! I turned them down and they told me to come back today.
Jacqui phoned me up last night to wish me well and I can now give you, for the first time, the complete low down on the collapse of the hotel. Firstly Jacqui and Roberto have moved in and are basically holding Mr. Lambert hostage until he pays them their money. They have informed Dr. Gaur of the situation and he says he has a little surprise in store for them!! Mr. Lambert and Josie said they would stay until the drinks ran out. After which they promptly sold all the drink to Skuba (which officially broke of relations with the hotel on Monday). They are planning on running away to France on Saturday. So how much of my £632 I will ever see is questionable.
I have got like a hundred applicaton forms for jobs ranging from Safeways Petrol staton all the way to ABC Holidays up in Smeeth (a small insignificant village near Ashford)
Wednesday, April 24, 2002
Bonjour mon petit fleur
So I must get used to life as an unemployed person. Really not hard as do nothing really suits me!!
So after doing very little all day yesterday, me, Elliot and Pete walked into town and met up with Laura and Sarah. Our plan was to see Scorpion King (I really like that movie [and not just for The Rock's arms thank you very much!!]). But we ended up seeing Queen of the Damned. Which I liked (and not just because Marius and Lestat are the two gayest vampires ever [well since Brad Pitt]). We saw Aaron, Robin, Annie and Jo while we were there.
After that we headed off down Gee's where we meet Chris a pleasant evening was had by all and we went home happy.
I'm going to Dover today. I have taken my shots don't worry. Wish me luck. :o\
So I must get used to life as an unemployed person. Really not hard as do nothing really suits me!!
So after doing very little all day yesterday, me, Elliot and Pete walked into town and met up with Laura and Sarah. Our plan was to see Scorpion King (I really like that movie [and not just for The Rock's arms thank you very much!!]). But we ended up seeing Queen of the Damned. Which I liked (and not just because Marius and Lestat are the two gayest vampires ever [well since Brad Pitt]). We saw Aaron, Robin, Annie and Jo while we were there.
After that we headed off down Gee's where we meet Chris a pleasant evening was had by all and we went home happy.
I'm going to Dover today. I have taken my shots don't worry. Wish me luck. :o\
Tuesday, April 23, 2002
Resigned to my fate
Firstly Happy Saint Georges Day to all you right wing English football holigans. I am far prouder to call myself British.
Now yesterday Jacqui, Roberto, Tank and Tank's wife staged a mass walkout of work. Basically they came and said goodby to me and ran. I spent the three hours after that seriously considering my prospects. At 5p.m. I asked for my £632 that I am owed which they failed to give me. So the last remaining member of Faulty Towers staff walked out. The most upsetting thing for me is that Matt, Mark, Felicity, Stephanie and the Fawlty family live on my work computer. Matt and Mark's relationship will never be resolved. :o(
I returned to Faulty Towers at 8p.m. with Pete to see if they had my money. They promised I would get it Wednesday night. Having consulted with the family lawyer (I love saying that!!) I have now got to decide whether to take the management to small claims court. I am now unemployed once again. Will post my resignation letter tomorrow!!
Went out to Spoons with everyone (+ Sarah who looked bored all night) after Zoe left me and sarah decided we wanted a curry. So we dragged everyone to Bashati for a very civilised (well if you discount Elliot with the popodoms)
Indian. I paid for Elliot. Darn it!!
After that we went down playpark to relive last summer (failed).
As me and Chris were driving back from Lyminge where we had dropped Elliot and John off the car became filled with a strange blue flashing light. Chris was kind enough to tell me it was the police (also see arseholes not all of them just this one) the reason we were pulled over? Because Chris had been a bit slow in dimming his lights. Oh yes thats a criminal offense don't you know. £20-30 fine we were told. Who says the police is a waste of money? What would we do without them? There wouldn't be a dimmed light in the country. This is the reason why I don't celebrate St. georges. English people are weird.
Firstly Happy Saint Georges Day to all you right wing English football holigans. I am far prouder to call myself British.
Now yesterday Jacqui, Roberto, Tank and Tank's wife staged a mass walkout of work. Basically they came and said goodby to me and ran. I spent the three hours after that seriously considering my prospects. At 5p.m. I asked for my £632 that I am owed which they failed to give me. So the last remaining member of Faulty Towers staff walked out. The most upsetting thing for me is that Matt, Mark, Felicity, Stephanie and the Fawlty family live on my work computer. Matt and Mark's relationship will never be resolved. :o(
I returned to Faulty Towers at 8p.m. with Pete to see if they had my money. They promised I would get it Wednesday night. Having consulted with the family lawyer (I love saying that!!) I have now got to decide whether to take the management to small claims court. I am now unemployed once again. Will post my resignation letter tomorrow!!
Went out to Spoons with everyone (+ Sarah who looked bored all night) after Zoe left me and sarah decided we wanted a curry. So we dragged everyone to Bashati for a very civilised (well if you discount Elliot with the popodoms)
Indian. I paid for Elliot. Darn it!!
After that we went down playpark to relive last summer (failed).
As me and Chris were driving back from Lyminge where we had dropped Elliot and John off the car became filled with a strange blue flashing light. Chris was kind enough to tell me it was the police (also see arseholes not all of them just this one) the reason we were pulled over? Because Chris had been a bit slow in dimming his lights. Oh yes thats a criminal offense don't you know. £20-30 fine we were told. Who says the police is a waste of money? What would we do without them? There wouldn't be a dimmed light in the country. This is the reason why I don't celebrate St. georges. English people are weird.
Monday, April 22, 2002
To Be or Not to Be
I decided not to blog yesterday as I was in a rather nasty mood and didn’t want to talk about it. Instead I played the Sims. My first two families meet with disaster (one unfortunate couple were killed in two separate fires, while the others have no money nor food) my third family were Matt and Mark. They have already fallen in love and both have jobs, their house is really getting to be nice. My fourth family (who moved into to replace the deceased couple) are thriving. Felicity is lazy and doesn’t want a job. Her housemate, Stephanie, is tidy and has a medical internship. They hate each other. But the house is gorgeous!!
Bish and Alison walked out yesterday. Bish handed in his keys. Steve is about to be fired (he doesn’t know yet). Tank (a bar regular) and his wife have been employed (yeah really the image you want to have in your hotel!!). I may be fired next everything from insurance to who supplies the beer is done on whim. They will have an overly qualified cleaner one minute and an under qualified barman (sorry Clive but bar work isn’t your strong point) the next.
Anyone who has anything to do with this business other than me… well I am going to point and laugh at you right now… (points and laughs). You FOOLs.
I have decided that my six month self imposed ban on seeking out “gay” friends (as opposed to allowing friendships to develop through fate) is over. I’ve felt so isolated since Saturday. So let the games begin!!
Le Pen is (snigger) in the running for the French presidency. Is it too late for me to withdraw my Francophile opinions of late?
I decided not to blog yesterday as I was in a rather nasty mood and didn’t want to talk about it. Instead I played the Sims. My first two families meet with disaster (one unfortunate couple were killed in two separate fires, while the others have no money nor food) my third family were Matt and Mark. They have already fallen in love and both have jobs, their house is really getting to be nice. My fourth family (who moved into to replace the deceased couple) are thriving. Felicity is lazy and doesn’t want a job. Her housemate, Stephanie, is tidy and has a medical internship. They hate each other. But the house is gorgeous!!
Bish and Alison walked out yesterday. Bish handed in his keys. Steve is about to be fired (he doesn’t know yet). Tank (a bar regular) and his wife have been employed (yeah really the image you want to have in your hotel!!). I may be fired next everything from insurance to who supplies the beer is done on whim. They will have an overly qualified cleaner one minute and an under qualified barman (sorry Clive but bar work isn’t your strong point) the next.
Anyone who has anything to do with this business other than me… well I am going to point and laugh at you right now… (points and laughs). You FOOLs.
I have decided that my six month self imposed ban on seeking out “gay” friends (as opposed to allowing friendships to develop through fate) is over. I’ve felt so isolated since Saturday. So let the games begin!!
Le Pen is (snigger) in the running for the French presidency. Is it too late for me to withdraw my Francophile opinions of late?
Saturday, April 20, 2002
Wedding Day Blues
Leave messages here or else!!.
“Live Your Life Be Free
Open up your heart and you will see”
It would seem I am going to write a long post – you have been warned!!
Sam it would seem has a post at his uni radio playing gay Clive from Maidstone on its soap opera. Forgive me if I sound slightly put off by this but… what is he up to?! If we replace the word Clive with Jason… well I think you get my drift. I think I will have to talk to him about acting, imagination and the use of fiction. So I am now the basis for a radio soap opera and I am on someones desktop background (in the background of said picture anyway). Is this fame?
So the much advertised wedding party arrived on Friday, with much complaining from them. “Oh aren’t the beds hard?” “Aren’t the beds short?” “The toilets backing up”. I mean really, they are paying half price here!!
Anyway after the bride to be informed them yesterday morning to stop being evil, they quietened down as the stressful organisation started. As I am in charge of reception I was left in charge of presents and flowers until they were almost literally coming out of my ears!!
The wedding was at 2p.m. so obviously they didn’t leave until 1:55p.m. despite the fact that the church is in Cheriton (where I live which is 5 minutes drive or twenty minutes walk away). Anyway the whole thing was chaotic!! I am never marrying!! (Well as it is currently illegal I don’t really have that choice now do I!!)
I am sick to death of heterosexual propaganda being pushed on me everywhere I go, be it a wedding, the tv, magazines, peoples expectations, etc. When will I get strong, positive homosexual role models? When will a gay couple be shown in an advert without any fuss, as if it weren’t odd? When will it be possible for me to be able to write my feeling truthfully without my step dad basically calling them sick?
I am not evil, or sick, or unnatural. I don’t want to hurt anyone. So why do people throw stones at me when I hold hands with my boyfriends? Why do they call me queer in the street? Why do they want to hurt me (even if they can’t as I’m 6’8 and could kick their arse if I wanted)?
Then I have Laura who texted me today. Then seemed to blame me for Sam’s comments on his blog and other problems as well. Am I a bad person? I know I am not nice to everyone but I try to be nice to some but… they aren’t nice to me. My own fault I’m sure.
Leave messages here or else!!.
Open up your heart and you will see”
It would seem I am going to write a long post – you have been warned!!
Sam it would seem has a post at his uni radio playing gay Clive from Maidstone on its soap opera. Forgive me if I sound slightly put off by this but… what is he up to?! If we replace the word Clive with Jason… well I think you get my drift. I think I will have to talk to him about acting, imagination and the use of fiction. So I am now the basis for a radio soap opera and I am on someones desktop background (in the background of said picture anyway). Is this fame?
So the much advertised wedding party arrived on Friday, with much complaining from them. “Oh aren’t the beds hard?” “Aren’t the beds short?” “The toilets backing up”. I mean really, they are paying half price here!!
Anyway after the bride to be informed them yesterday morning to stop being evil, they quietened down as the stressful organisation started. As I am in charge of reception I was left in charge of presents and flowers until they were almost literally coming out of my ears!!
The wedding was at 2p.m. so obviously they didn’t leave until 1:55p.m. despite the fact that the church is in Cheriton (where I live which is 5 minutes drive or twenty minutes walk away). Anyway the whole thing was chaotic!! I am never marrying!! (Well as it is currently illegal I don’t really have that choice now do I!!)
I am sick to death of heterosexual propaganda being pushed on me everywhere I go, be it a wedding, the tv, magazines, peoples expectations, etc. When will I get strong, positive homosexual role models? When will a gay couple be shown in an advert without any fuss, as if it weren’t odd? When will it be possible for me to be able to write my feeling truthfully without my step dad basically calling them sick?
I am not evil, or sick, or unnatural. I don’t want to hurt anyone. So why do people throw stones at me when I hold hands with my boyfriends? Why do they call me queer in the street? Why do they want to hurt me (even if they can’t as I’m 6’8 and could kick their arse if I wanted)?
Then I have Laura who texted me today. Then seemed to blame me for Sam’s comments on his blog and other problems as well. Am I a bad person? I know I am not nice to everyone but I try to be nice to some but… they aren’t nice to me. My own fault I’m sure.
The Summer Starts Here
Leave messages here or else!!.
I’m gonna soak up the sun
Gonna tell everyone to lighten up
Sheryl Crow “Gonna Soak Up The Sun”
The wedding party crashed down into the hotel yesterday see tomorrow’s post.
I think its time to officially announce the start of summer. I mean they have started playing “Wannabe” by the Spice Girls on the radio which is always the first sign of summer. Next month everyone comes back from university for the holidays. I need some plans (any ideas are welcome)
My nan told me a very scary thing yesterday afternoon on the phone. I am the last male member of our branch of the Kay family left in Britain. The rest of the males of my generation were born to Kay daughters who are married. She told me I have a great responsibility to “propogate” the line as the future of our clan (may I add she isn’t Scottish we are just descendants of Scots and nan’s a tad nostalgic) is very important to her. I haven’t told her I’m gay nor that I plan to move to be with the rest of the family in Canada. I also didn’t wish to point out that the chief of our clan (Clan Davidson) lives in New Zealand. She may have verbally beaten me up!! Made me a little bit sad, the buck stops here now.
A milestone was crossed yesterday. 1000 hits since March 7th (I was hoping to achieve this by the end of this month). That’s brilliant!! (BTW Jen you were officially my 1000th visitor!!) Thank you everyone for clicking through to my site and to those who have links to it. You know I warmly appreciate it (big hugs to you, my Constant Reader).
I’d like to apologise for the lack of links in posts lately. I simply don’t have the time to surf the internet finding out links. I will try to get some more soon. Before that though its time for a spring (no make that summer :o) ) clean of this blog. Its way too messy and badly designed. No major alterations planned just a little tweaking here and there.
I went to see The Scorpion King last night. 'Twas great!!
One last very important thing Debbie-Debs mum was buried a couple of days ago after dying of cancer. Last year it was Melly this year Debbies mum, who is next? I send her all my love, I know what it feels like, remember Debbie me and my mum are always here for you.
Leave messages here or else!!.
Gonna tell everyone to lighten up
The wedding party crashed down into the hotel yesterday see tomorrow’s post.
I think its time to officially announce the start of summer. I mean they have started playing “Wannabe” by the Spice Girls on the radio which is always the first sign of summer. Next month everyone comes back from university for the holidays. I need some plans (any ideas are welcome)
My nan told me a very scary thing yesterday afternoon on the phone. I am the last male member of our branch of the Kay family left in Britain. The rest of the males of my generation were born to Kay daughters who are married. She told me I have a great responsibility to “propogate” the line as the future of our clan (may I add she isn’t Scottish we are just descendants of Scots and nan’s a tad nostalgic) is very important to her. I haven’t told her I’m gay nor that I plan to move to be with the rest of the family in Canada. I also didn’t wish to point out that the chief of our clan (Clan Davidson) lives in New Zealand. She may have verbally beaten me up!! Made me a little bit sad, the buck stops here now.
A milestone was crossed yesterday. 1000 hits since March 7th (I was hoping to achieve this by the end of this month). That’s brilliant!! (BTW Jen you were officially my 1000th visitor!!) Thank you everyone for clicking through to my site and to those who have links to it. You know I warmly appreciate it (big hugs to you, my Constant Reader).
I’d like to apologise for the lack of links in posts lately. I simply don’t have the time to surf the internet finding out links. I will try to get some more soon. Before that though its time for a spring (no make that summer :o) ) clean of this blog. Its way too messy and badly designed. No major alterations planned just a little tweaking here and there.
I went to see The Scorpion King last night. 'Twas great!!
One last very important thing Debbie-Debs mum was buried a couple of days ago after dying of cancer. Last year it was Melly this year Debbies mum, who is next? I send her all my love, I know what it feels like, remember Debbie me and my mum are always here for you.
Friday, April 19, 2002
Fresh Blood
Leave messages here.
Just under two months until I am 19.
On Wednesday I went to Gee’s and Sonia the barmaid hearing of my annoyance with my work gave me the number for the Hotel Burstin’s Front of House Manager. They are looking for a receptionist, and I had arranged for an interview today. The Hotel Burstin is a huge 900-room hotel that is shaped like a ship and stands watch over the Harbour. I have decided not to go as I really busy in the hotel today. I’m also thinking of applying for a job at Safeway’s (a large British supermarket chain) Garage as Safeway’s pay way more than a hotel would!!
I told Bish I was thinking of getting another job. He is not happy!! He said “Other people no good for Bish. They no understand me. You good, you help me.” Nice to know someone round here appreciates me!!
I went out last night to the Leas Club/Wetherspoons with Pete, Claire, Chris and, fresh blood here, Sarah. Sarah is really funny!! She is so dirty its brilliant!! But Chris failed to tell her I am gay which led to some very awkward moments until I realised she didn’t know!! “Oh that explains it then!” she remarked. Thanks very much!! :o(
I also unfortunately become involved in a discussion on Adam’s sexuality, which went a little bit beyond my control. Lets just say Claire, his ex, is not exactly convinced when I say, “He isn’t gay.” She refuses to believe me.
Ended up at Claire’s house in a dark bedroom, ‘twas strange. I left about one in the morning and after making a fuss of a couple of hedgehogs who were looking very cute outside, I got a taxi. When said taxi dropped me at my house I realised I didn’t know where my money was (hence a dawn raid on my mums purse ensured!!). Found my £20 in my “safe” pocket where I put things to avoid losing money if mugged (I am Mr. Paranoid sometimes, I even get scared of little old ladies!!).
I don’t want the world to see me
Cos I Don’t think they would understand
When everythings made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
Goo Goo Dolls “This”
Leave messages here.
Just under two months until I am 19.
On Wednesday I went to Gee’s and Sonia the barmaid hearing of my annoyance with my work gave me the number for the Hotel Burstin’s Front of House Manager. They are looking for a receptionist, and I had arranged for an interview today. The Hotel Burstin is a huge 900-room hotel that is shaped like a ship and stands watch over the Harbour. I have decided not to go as I really busy in the hotel today. I’m also thinking of applying for a job at Safeway’s (a large British supermarket chain) Garage as Safeway’s pay way more than a hotel would!!
I told Bish I was thinking of getting another job. He is not happy!! He said “Other people no good for Bish. They no understand me. You good, you help me.” Nice to know someone round here appreciates me!!
I went out last night to the Leas Club/Wetherspoons with Pete, Claire, Chris and, fresh blood here, Sarah. Sarah is really funny!! She is so dirty its brilliant!! But Chris failed to tell her I am gay which led to some very awkward moments until I realised she didn’t know!! “Oh that explains it then!” she remarked. Thanks very much!! :o(
I also unfortunately become involved in a discussion on Adam’s sexuality, which went a little bit beyond my control. Lets just say Claire, his ex, is not exactly convinced when I say, “He isn’t gay.” She refuses to believe me.
Ended up at Claire’s house in a dark bedroom, ‘twas strange. I left about one in the morning and after making a fuss of a couple of hedgehogs who were looking very cute outside, I got a taxi. When said taxi dropped me at my house I realised I didn’t know where my money was (hence a dawn raid on my mums purse ensured!!). Found my £20 in my “safe” pocket where I put things to avoid losing money if mugged (I am Mr. Paranoid sometimes, I even get scared of little old ladies!!).
Cos I Don’t think they would understand
When everythings made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
Thursday, April 18, 2002
Just Another Day
”Love is a search for oneself, a craving to really get in contact with me and you, sharing bodies, sharing thoughts, encountering one another with nothing held back, making confessions and being forgiven, understanding, confirming and supporting what was and what is, longing for a home and trust to counteract the doubts and anxieties modern life generates. If nothing seems certain or safe, if even breathing is risky in a polluted world, then people chase after the misleading dreams of love until they suddenly turn to nightmares…”
Beck, Ulrich and Elizabeth Beck-Gernsheim 1995: The Normal Chaos of Love (Cambridge Polity) P.175-6
The Wedding Party arrives at the hotel tomorrow…
what's your battle cry? |
mewing.net | merchandise!
Appropriate for a mad Cat Person don’t you think?
Leave Comments here until I get my comment feature back:Visit My Message Board
Jason's Silly List 3 - Ten Countries I'd Like To Visit.
Continuing my occasional series…
1. Canada (killer whales, grizzly bears, wolves and that’s just my Canadian relatives!! :o) )
2. Pitcairn Island (Descendants of the H.M.S. Bounty!!)
3. India (Mr. Singh kind of sold it to me before he left the hotel)
4. Mexico (road movies, look how you’ve influenced me!!)
5. South Africa (no not so I can launch a one man invasion of Zimbabwe, then again…)
6. Australia (Muriel’s Wedding!! And I’ve heard you can’t find nicer people anywhere else)
7. Thailand (hello!! It’s Thailand!!)
8. Brazil (Not just for the Latinos either ;o) )
9. U.S. (reluctantly but as a fan of road movies how could I not want to go here!!)
10. Trishan de Cunha (if that is how you spell it, the place that is furthest from… anywhere!!)
Kill me if I use !! again!! Oh no!! I did it again!!
The Wedding Party arrives at the hotel tomorrow…
what's your battle cry? |
mewing.net | merchandise!
Appropriate for a mad Cat Person don’t you think?
Leave Comments here until I get my comment feature back:Visit My Message Board
Jason's Silly List 3 - Ten Countries I'd Like To Visit.
Continuing my occasional series…
1. Canada (killer whales, grizzly bears, wolves and that’s just my Canadian relatives!! :o) )
2. Pitcairn Island (Descendants of the H.M.S. Bounty!!)
3. India (Mr. Singh kind of sold it to me before he left the hotel)
4. Mexico (road movies, look how you’ve influenced me!!)
5. South Africa (no not so I can launch a one man invasion of Zimbabwe, then again…)
6. Australia (Muriel’s Wedding!! And I’ve heard you can’t find nicer people anywhere else)
7. Thailand (hello!! It’s Thailand!!)
8. Brazil (Not just for the Latinos either ;o) )
9. U.S. (reluctantly but as a fan of road movies how could I not want to go here!!)
10. Trishan de Cunha (if that is how you spell it, the place that is furthest from… anywhere!!)
Kill me if I use !! again!! Oh no!! I did it again!!
Wednesday, April 17, 2002
As commenting is offline right now here is a message board if you want to leave comments
Visit My Message Board
And thanks to Karen I now have a guestmap
Visit My Message Board
And thanks to Karen I now have a guestmap
I Go Away For Just One Day.........
…….AND ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE!! Firstly my comments system is down (again). I apologise but its being moved to a new server and should be up again by Saturday. Go donate for the cause at Net Comments.
Plus I seem to have been inundated by visitors!! Thanks Sister Mary Matthew and Geoff. Plus some odd searches have been directing to me such as “Having Sex” and “Smallville Hair Style”. My 1000 target should be reached soon (which means a lot of drinking, although the Hardc0re 3 really don’t need an excuse!!)
Monday night I went out with lots of people to Wetherspoons where we got told off for laughing, for touching the fake flowers and playing spin the phone (its not a pub, its more like living in a Fascist dictatorship!!). I found myself fancying someone I really shouldn’t (no names as Pete and Laura would laugh until they cried if they knew who!!). And there is a barmaid there called Katherine who I am determined to write a sitcom about. She has short ginger hair, a no nonsense attitude (“I only ask politely once..”) and an obvious hatred of doing bar work. She is like a cross between Grace Under Fire and Ellen. Perfect material.
Tuesday I had a day off from work and blogs. It was a very nice peaceful day. I had a haircut, watched Alien and The Living End, went shopping with Elliot, joined a charity (I can’t seem to help doing that!!), and went for lunch with Elliot and Laura at Wetherspoons again. When I got home I read a little book about Canada and another on the Rise and Fall of the British Empire, watched Holby City and went to bed. And just to let you know I haven't given up the idea of immigration to Canada (I have even got an immigration form already, although its only for reference purposes)
…….AND ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE!! Firstly my comments system is down (again). I apologise but its being moved to a new server and should be up again by Saturday. Go donate for the cause at Net Comments.
Plus I seem to have been inundated by visitors!! Thanks Sister Mary Matthew and Geoff. Plus some odd searches have been directing to me such as “Having Sex” and “Smallville Hair Style”. My 1000 target should be reached soon (which means a lot of drinking, although the Hardc0re 3 really don’t need an excuse!!)
Monday night I went out with lots of people to Wetherspoons where we got told off for laughing, for touching the fake flowers and playing spin the phone (its not a pub, its more like living in a Fascist dictatorship!!). I found myself fancying someone I really shouldn’t (no names as Pete and Laura would laugh until they cried if they knew who!!). And there is a barmaid there called Katherine who I am determined to write a sitcom about. She has short ginger hair, a no nonsense attitude (“I only ask politely once..”) and an obvious hatred of doing bar work. She is like a cross between Grace Under Fire and Ellen. Perfect material.
Tuesday I had a day off from work and blogs. It was a very nice peaceful day. I had a haircut, watched Alien and The Living End, went shopping with Elliot, joined a charity (I can’t seem to help doing that!!), and went for lunch with Elliot and Laura at Wetherspoons again. When I got home I read a little book about Canada and another on the Rise and Fall of the British Empire, watched Holby City and went to bed. And just to let you know I haven't given up the idea of immigration to Canada (I have even got an immigration form already, although its only for reference purposes)
Monday, April 15, 2002
All About Me
Using one of my "dead" blogs and a little questionaire I have created an info page for you. I'll keep adding to it (and will tell you when I do). The link replaces my rather colourful but brief synopsis in the side bar.
Using one of my "dead" blogs and a little questionaire I have created an info page for you. I'll keep adding to it (and will tell you when I do). The link replaces my rather colourful but brief synopsis in the side bar.
Hail the Conquering Hero
Yesterday I returned triumphant to my own room which has for too long been my little sisters. It may only be slightly bigger than a broom cupboard but its mine and that’s what matters!!! My own TV, my own freedom, and it might even be possible to leave my Gay Times (equated with Satan by my parents) lying around sometimes. (Discovered last night as I walked home that my room is lit by a red light which illuminates my window in suspect shade of pink!!
I went out to Gee’s last night with the Hardc0re 3 (we’re back!!) and Elliot. It was an alright night out where I was mocked mercilessly for finding Will Temple attractive and Elliot fell asleep at the table (new nickname from Vicky, the Gee’s Barmaid, “Sleeping Beauty”)!! Elliot stayed over my house. And that’s about it.
Wait a minute and Bish is back!! All the problems have been sorted!! Plus the Wedding is this week. Prepare for stressed out Jay.
And don’t leave silly smileys in my comments it messes up the Java.
Jason's Silly List 2
Top Ten Favorite Songs
1. Whats up? – 4 Non Blondes
2. White Wedding – Billy Idol (Per tu, Melly)
3. Come Back To What You Know – Embrace
4. Vienna - Ultravox
5. Disposable Teens – Marilyn Manson
6. Maybe an Angel – Heather Nova
7. We’re Not Going to Take It Anymore – Twisted Sister
8. Mulder and Scully – Catatonia
9. Running Up That Hill – Kate Bush
10. Head Over Feet – Alanis
“What?!”, you say, “Where is Madonna and Steps?” I may love them dearly but do their songs hold any emotional resonance with me; no none. Madonna’s Holiday is however my earliest memory of music and “Stomp” by Steps is mine and Stephen’s song.
All these songs have a lot of meaning to me. I love music and often find songs which sum up periods of my life. Some of these songs can literally reduce me to tears. Others will get me singing loudly (well if you can call the noises I make “singing”) to the annoyance of anyone nearby!!
And if you think I am going to give you links to all these you must think I don’t have work to be doing (well I don’t, this is after all the hotel, but I am just too god damn lazy!!)
Yesterday I returned triumphant to my own room which has for too long been my little sisters. It may only be slightly bigger than a broom cupboard but its mine and that’s what matters!!! My own TV, my own freedom, and it might even be possible to leave my Gay Times (equated with Satan by my parents) lying around sometimes. (Discovered last night as I walked home that my room is lit by a red light which illuminates my window in suspect shade of pink!!
I went out to Gee’s last night with the Hardc0re 3 (we’re back!!) and Elliot. It was an alright night out where I was mocked mercilessly for finding Will Temple attractive and Elliot fell asleep at the table (new nickname from Vicky, the Gee’s Barmaid, “Sleeping Beauty”)!! Elliot stayed over my house. And that’s about it.
Wait a minute and Bish is back!! All the problems have been sorted!! Plus the Wedding is this week. Prepare for stressed out Jay.
And don’t leave silly smileys in my comments it messes up the Java.
Jason's Silly List 2
1. Whats up? – 4 Non Blondes
2. White Wedding – Billy Idol (Per tu, Melly)
3. Come Back To What You Know – Embrace
4. Vienna - Ultravox
5. Disposable Teens – Marilyn Manson
6. Maybe an Angel – Heather Nova
7. We’re Not Going to Take It Anymore – Twisted Sister
8. Mulder and Scully – Catatonia
9. Running Up That Hill – Kate Bush
10. Head Over Feet – Alanis
“What?!”, you say, “Where is Madonna and Steps?” I may love them dearly but do their songs hold any emotional resonance with me; no none. Madonna’s Holiday is however my earliest memory of music and “Stomp” by Steps is mine and Stephen’s song.
All these songs have a lot of meaning to me. I love music and often find songs which sum up periods of my life. Some of these songs can literally reduce me to tears. Others will get me singing loudly (well if you can call the noises I make “singing”) to the annoyance of anyone nearby!!
And if you think I am going to give you links to all these you must think I don’t have work to be doing (well I don’t, this is after all the hotel, but I am just too god damn lazy!!)
Sunday, April 14, 2002
For the Cause
Ok I think everyone should be let in on my little secret. I’m a Zapatista. Scary huh? Well I have felt I was a Zapatista until I saw Pim Fortuyn. Leader of a right wing Dutch party, he is charisma incarnate. He is also gay, he isn’t racist and he hates Fundamentalism. And he has made me question my politics.
I have always felt that my homosexuality means I must support the left wing cause on so many issues. Anti-war, anti-capitalism, anti-hate are all things I have passionately believed in (and fought for, note my contribution in both Palestinian and Kashmiri protests in January). But this man, he fights for acceptance of his sexuality, he fights against Fundamentalism (my pet hate). He corners homophobes and subtley gets them to admit their hatred on camera, then runs circles around them. He wants to stop immigration by creating situations in peoples own countries so they need not be forced to leave. How can I disagree with him?
Its not that I’m suddenly going right wing. But for once a right wing politician has made me question my beliefs. This has never happened before. I feel my political belief system is taking a large turn towards the centre ground. If only our Conservatives could be as enlightened as Pim Fortuyn (::guffaws:: as if they could!!)
Ok I think everyone should be let in on my little secret. I’m a Zapatista. Scary huh? Well I have felt I was a Zapatista until I saw Pim Fortuyn. Leader of a right wing Dutch party, he is charisma incarnate. He is also gay, he isn’t racist and he hates Fundamentalism. And he has made me question my politics.
I have always felt that my homosexuality means I must support the left wing cause on so many issues. Anti-war, anti-capitalism, anti-hate are all things I have passionately believed in (and fought for, note my contribution in both Palestinian and Kashmiri protests in January). But this man, he fights for acceptance of his sexuality, he fights against Fundamentalism (my pet hate). He corners homophobes and subtley gets them to admit their hatred on camera, then runs circles around them. He wants to stop immigration by creating situations in peoples own countries so they need not be forced to leave. How can I disagree with him?
Its not that I’m suddenly going right wing. But for once a right wing politician has made me question my beliefs. This has never happened before. I feel my political belief system is taking a large turn towards the centre ground. If only our Conservatives could be as enlightened as Pim Fortuyn (::guffaws:: as if they could!!)
What am I to do with you?!
Over the last month this blog has undergone an amazing transformation. A few months ago barely 10 people knew of its existence, and it was mainly a way of recording my university antics for my flatmates to read (hence it was called “Block 33” after our flat). Then I went a little blog mad. I’ve been updating regularly, writing my personal thoughts and feelings, advertising shamelessly, even reaching number one on Bloghop’s best for a while. And I have had more visitors than I could have ever of hoped for!! I would like to thank everyone who reads this and more importantly those who comment (it cheers me up while I am at work to see the words “I Have 3 Comments!!”).
No, this is not a goodbye message. I plan to be here for some time yet!! It’s just I have very little to say today!! And you, dearest Constant Reader, deserve a little thanks for putting up with my inane ramblings and teenage angst, don’t you think?! Now why not say hello by using my comments feature (I know I am obsessed with having one again but its been such a long time!!)
Bish has left. He wasn't paid on time and unlike muggins here he intelligently resigned. Now we have two new chambermaids; Allyson and Justine. They don't have Bish's sense of humour (nor his wide shoulders and nice arms!!). I hope he comes back as Bish was a nice bloke, someone who deserves far better treatment than what he recieved.
Jason's Silly List 1
(I used to have these all the time in my written journal and this one isn’t that silly more pointless)
My Favorite Movie's
1. The Living End
2. Dogma
3. American Perfekt
4. The Brady Bunch Movie
5. Jurassic Park
6. Alien
7. Masters Of The Universe
8. The Talented Mr. Ripley
9. The Matrix
10. Coyote Ugly
Other films that didn’t quite make it:- Jeffrey, A Beautiful Thing, Trick, Jaws, Predator (and any other Arnie movie ever), and The Doom Generation.
Over the last month this blog has undergone an amazing transformation. A few months ago barely 10 people knew of its existence, and it was mainly a way of recording my university antics for my flatmates to read (hence it was called “Block 33” after our flat). Then I went a little blog mad. I’ve been updating regularly, writing my personal thoughts and feelings, advertising shamelessly, even reaching number one on Bloghop’s best for a while. And I have had more visitors than I could have ever of hoped for!! I would like to thank everyone who reads this and more importantly those who comment (it cheers me up while I am at work to see the words “I Have 3 Comments!!”).
No, this is not a goodbye message. I plan to be here for some time yet!! It’s just I have very little to say today!! And you, dearest Constant Reader, deserve a little thanks for putting up with my inane ramblings and teenage angst, don’t you think?! Now why not say hello by using my comments feature (I know I am obsessed with having one again but its been such a long time!!)
Bish has left. He wasn't paid on time and unlike muggins here he intelligently resigned. Now we have two new chambermaids; Allyson and Justine. They don't have Bish's sense of humour (nor his wide shoulders and nice arms!!). I hope he comes back as Bish was a nice bloke, someone who deserves far better treatment than what he recieved.
Jason's Silly List 1
(I used to have these all the time in my written journal and this one isn’t that silly more pointless)
My Favorite Movie's
1. The Living End
2. Dogma
3. American Perfekt
4. The Brady Bunch Movie
5. Jurassic Park
6. Alien
7. Masters Of The Universe
8. The Talented Mr. Ripley
9. The Matrix
10. Coyote Ugly
Other films that didn’t quite make it:- Jeffrey, A Beautiful Thing, Trick, Jaws, Predator (and any other Arnie movie ever), and The Doom Generation.
Saturday, April 13, 2002
All You Need Is Love
I just hate it when I find myself falling for a guy and not being able to stop myself. When you find yourself wanting to be in his company constantly. It happened to me yesterday. A guest walked in and instantly I knew he was gay. (I still find that disconcerting after four years, just “knowing”) Within a few minutes of him leaving to go to his room with his two female co-workers I was thinking about him. It’s not that he was mind blowingly attractive. He was just a plain old Joe. But there was something about him. I wanted him in a way I don’t usually find myself wanting someone, I wanted him to be with me (in an entirely innocent fashion as well!!), to be mine. And now I’ve got a funny feeling inside, like I felt with the sixth former, a sense of desperate longing.
I don’t like this one bit. Is love so alien to me now that I can’t accept how I’m feeling? Where has my sense of romance, of unrequited love gone? When I was fourteen I lived for unrequited love, for secret passions, and romantic ideals. Now I run from them. I hide behind my failing relationship, having trysts with people I don’t love, simply to avoid having to face the one important issue – love.
I’m still happy!! That is despite the fact that I did something very embarrassing yesterday. While I was out last night with everyone down Gee’s, I saw these two guys who I thought were really cute. They had their hair in the style of that bloke in Smallville, a style I find almost irresistible. But here is the thing, one of those guys turned out to be……. Will Temple. Oh yes that annoying kid from school. The idea I find him attractive is very, very scary!!
I just hate it when I find myself falling for a guy and not being able to stop myself. When you find yourself wanting to be in his company constantly. It happened to me yesterday. A guest walked in and instantly I knew he was gay. (I still find that disconcerting after four years, just “knowing”) Within a few minutes of him leaving to go to his room with his two female co-workers I was thinking about him. It’s not that he was mind blowingly attractive. He was just a plain old Joe. But there was something about him. I wanted him in a way I don’t usually find myself wanting someone, I wanted him to be with me (in an entirely innocent fashion as well!!), to be mine. And now I’ve got a funny feeling inside, like I felt with the sixth former, a sense of desperate longing.
I don’t like this one bit. Is love so alien to me now that I can’t accept how I’m feeling? Where has my sense of romance, of unrequited love gone? When I was fourteen I lived for unrequited love, for secret passions, and romantic ideals. Now I run from them. I hide behind my failing relationship, having trysts with people I don’t love, simply to avoid having to face the one important issue – love.
I’m still happy!! That is despite the fact that I did something very embarrassing yesterday. While I was out last night with everyone down Gee’s, I saw these two guys who I thought were really cute. They had their hair in the style of that bloke in Smallville, a style I find almost irresistible. But here is the thing, one of those guys turned out to be……. Will Temple. Oh yes that annoying kid from school. The idea I find him attractive is very, very scary!!
Friday, April 12, 2002
Wild Thing....I Think I Love You
which children's storybook character are you?
this quiz was made by colleen
I Love This Book!!!!
In other news Mr. Lambert.Steve and Josie made the meeting with Lee from Skuba sound like they were entering a lions den simply because he is gay if only they knew, if only........
which children's storybook character are you?
this quiz was made by colleen
I Love This Book!!!!
In other news Mr. Lambert.Steve and Josie made the meeting with Lee from Skuba sound like they were entering a lions den simply because he is gay if only they knew, if only........
Not So Bad Hair Day
Mum and Tony argued today. They haven’t done that properly in a while. Tony as always tried to defuse the situation by making it into a joke, which only annoys my mum more. He has known her for 10 years and still he doesn’t know her.
Well when I was young and mum would argue with her lover I used to blame myself (don’t ask me why I just did) so when mum and Tony argue I immediately take up my big brother responsibilities and make sure my brother and sister are okay and I spend hours trying to amuse them. But they are far stronger than I ever was and spend much of the time trying to be nosey and find out what the argument is about. They are never upset by the arguments.
I had such bad hair this morning. Imagine Einstein without the brains. But mum came to the rescue and turned downright messy into downright stylish messy. After sorting out my money yesterday I am far happier.
My comments feature is now working fine again (some people must of donated to the poor man who created it). So use it. If the comments feature goes down again I’ll have to resurrect my message board which is not something I want to do (I hate pop ups!!).
Do you think its possible to become addicted to blog reading? I seem to be a regular at like 10 and I feel disappointed if even one of them hasn’t updated. I really need to wean myself off of some of them. Check out my links to see who I’m reading.
Mum and Tony argued today. They haven’t done that properly in a while. Tony as always tried to defuse the situation by making it into a joke, which only annoys my mum more. He has known her for 10 years and still he doesn’t know her.
Well when I was young and mum would argue with her lover I used to blame myself (don’t ask me why I just did) so when mum and Tony argue I immediately take up my big brother responsibilities and make sure my brother and sister are okay and I spend hours trying to amuse them. But they are far stronger than I ever was and spend much of the time trying to be nosey and find out what the argument is about. They are never upset by the arguments.
I had such bad hair this morning. Imagine Einstein without the brains. But mum came to the rescue and turned downright messy into downright stylish messy. After sorting out my money yesterday I am far happier.
My comments feature is now working fine again (some people must of donated to the poor man who created it). So use it. If the comments feature goes down again I’ll have to resurrect my message board which is not something I want to do (I hate pop ups!!).
Do you think its possible to become addicted to blog reading? I seem to be a regular at like 10 and I feel disappointed if even one of them hasn’t updated. I really need to wean myself off of some of them. Check out my links to see who I’m reading.
Thursday, April 11, 2002
Skuba Duba Doo
I have had my “meeting” which involved being given £100 to keep me happy with a promise of the other £452 next week. I am now much more upbeat.
Lee from Skuba is coming to the hotel tomorrow to do a “deal” with Mr. Lambert. What this involves I will tell you tomorrow……. You should of seen him when he realised I work here!! He recovered himself by saying “Oh you are a big boy aren’t you?!”
My postmen (one from my home and the one from the hotel) both came in to the bar today and after telling me about my post said exactly the same thing. Oh aren’t you a big boy? Is this a phrase which will haunt me for the rest of my social life (i.e. until I reach 30 and suffer gay social death)
And my comments system is down. Not my fault!!
I have had my “meeting” which involved being given £100 to keep me happy with a promise of the other £452 next week. I am now much more upbeat.
Lee from Skuba is coming to the hotel tomorrow to do a “deal” with Mr. Lambert. What this involves I will tell you tomorrow……. You should of seen him when he realised I work here!! He recovered himself by saying “Oh you are a big boy aren’t you?!”
My postmen (one from my home and the one from the hotel) both came in to the bar today and after telling me about my post said exactly the same thing. Oh aren’t you a big boy? Is this a phrase which will haunt me for the rest of my social life (i.e. until I reach 30 and suffer gay social death)
And my comments system is down. Not my fault!!
Camp High Noon
The battle lines are drawn. Today I have a meeting to discuss the state of my wages with Steve, Mr. Lambert and Josie. I am not a happy lapin (French for bunny :o) ). If I can get my money sorted I will be a hell of a lot happier.
Last night was great. It really helped cheer me up and relax. And seeing Jon (not John as in my mate just to clarify!!) was nice, unlike me he is still in the closet, it gave me a sense of my achievement. I not only came out, but I flourished. Poor Jon still exists in his own little fantasy world, where there is little hope or joy. In my case my sexuality seems to be the only thing that gives me happiness at the moment!!
In other news someone left a very homophobic comment (now deleted) in my comments system. This is intolerable. Said person (a right wing Christian Fundamentalist) also attempted to send me a simple virus in my email. I am not an idiot, I never open emails with file attachments or pictures even if I know who is sending them!! I now have his email address, and I have reported him to his ISP (AOL). Was this the right thing to do?
The battle lines are drawn. Today I have a meeting to discuss the state of my wages with Steve, Mr. Lambert and Josie. I am not a happy lapin (French for bunny :o) ). If I can get my money sorted I will be a hell of a lot happier.
Last night was great. It really helped cheer me up and relax. And seeing Jon (not John as in my mate just to clarify!!) was nice, unlike me he is still in the closet, it gave me a sense of my achievement. I not only came out, but I flourished. Poor Jon still exists in his own little fantasy world, where there is little hope or joy. In my case my sexuality seems to be the only thing that gives me happiness at the moment!!
In other news someone left a very homophobic comment (now deleted) in my comments system. This is intolerable. Said person (a right wing Christian Fundamentalist) also attempted to send me a simple virus in my email. I am not an idiot, I never open emails with file attachments or pictures even if I know who is sending them!! I now have his email address, and I have reported him to his ISP (AOL). Was this the right thing to do?
Wednesday, April 10, 2002
In Need Of A Cuddle
I understand that some of my readers will not like this especially as I am in a long term relationship. But I have arranged sex tonight with a man I used to regularly go with. I am so very unhappy and I feel like I need someone, something to cheer me up for a little while. And before you say oh poor Stephen, may I say he has "cheated" on me 50 times during our relationship. This would be my second (one time in France when I was at my lowest point in years). I feel the lowest I have felt since I came back from my last run away attempt. I want to run away again. I won't, I know people will judge me badly if I do. But I want to, so I really need to find something to make me smile. Anything.
In unrelated news Lee from Skuba just phoned up for Mr. Lambert, no doubt its trouble, probably involving me. There is always something
I understand that some of my readers will not like this especially as I am in a long term relationship. But I have arranged sex tonight with a man I used to regularly go with. I am so very unhappy and I feel like I need someone, something to cheer me up for a little while. And before you say oh poor Stephen, may I say he has "cheated" on me 50 times during our relationship. This would be my second (one time in France when I was at my lowest point in years). I feel the lowest I have felt since I came back from my last run away attempt. I want to run away again. I won't, I know people will judge me badly if I do. But I want to, so I really need to find something to make me smile. Anything.
In unrelated news Lee from Skuba just phoned up for Mr. Lambert, no doubt its trouble, probably involving me. There is always something
Jason's European Grand Tour - Fun Size!!
I am back! So I went to France yesterday, and as I thought having the Channel between me and Britain made me feel far better. It really stops me worrying when I am away. We got to France and we had to catch a bus to Cite Europe (a large shopping area mainly for British day trippers). I informed everyone how to catch a bus (a confident wave when it approaches). We waited at the 11th Novembre stop (what happened on the 11th November any one?) and the bus approached. And drove past us!! We hadn’t done the confident wave thing. We did catch a bus in the end and the rest of the day was lovely, albeit with John constantly complaining about my French (NOTE: I did Italian not French at school maybe that’s why I am no good at the language, huh John?!!).
French men. What can I say?! They seem to have the art of being cool pretty much sorted. Another reason I hate this country, 90% of the men are nasty, mean spirited and unromantic (example the load obnoxious northerners on the boat back). When will they learn!!
We got back to Britain (sob) and gained a Pete. So we went to the cinema to see A Beautiful Mind. It was neither good nor bad (the worst kind of movie!!). It certainly wasn’t a cheerful movie.
I am very depressed right now. My pay cheque bounced again. This leaves me with no money. Why am I always messed about like this? Then my mum tells me I need to get another job after forcing me to get this one or I had to leave home (again). I really need my counselling to begin. I am still on the waiting list. I must of been a real bastard in a past life.
I am back! So I went to France yesterday, and as I thought having the Channel between me and Britain made me feel far better. It really stops me worrying when I am away. We got to France and we had to catch a bus to Cite Europe (a large shopping area mainly for British day trippers). I informed everyone how to catch a bus (a confident wave when it approaches). We waited at the 11th Novembre stop (what happened on the 11th November any one?) and the bus approached. And drove past us!! We hadn’t done the confident wave thing. We did catch a bus in the end and the rest of the day was lovely, albeit with John constantly complaining about my French (NOTE: I did Italian not French at school maybe that’s why I am no good at the language, huh John?!!).
French men. What can I say?! They seem to have the art of being cool pretty much sorted. Another reason I hate this country, 90% of the men are nasty, mean spirited and unromantic (example the load obnoxious northerners on the boat back). When will they learn!!
We got back to Britain (sob) and gained a Pete. So we went to the cinema to see A Beautiful Mind. It was neither good nor bad (the worst kind of movie!!). It certainly wasn’t a cheerful movie.
I am very depressed right now. My pay cheque bounced again. This leaves me with no money. Why am I always messed about like this? Then my mum tells me I need to get another job after forcing me to get this one or I had to leave home (again). I really need my counselling to begin. I am still on the waiting list. I must of been a real bastard in a past life.
Monday, April 08, 2002
What could be better?
I've had a minor revelation. Which country is a little bit of Britain mixed with a little bit of France? In which country do almost all my relatives and my, 10 year long, pen pal Phillipe live? Why Canada of course!! Priority Number Four can be changed. I would like to live in Canada. What a great idea!! I can live near Heather and my other cousins!! This is just plain fabtastic.
I've had a minor revelation. Which country is a little bit of Britain mixed with a little bit of France? In which country do almost all my relatives and my, 10 year long, pen pal Phillipe live? Why Canada of course!! Priority Number Four can be changed. I would like to live in Canada. What a great idea!! I can live near Heather and my other cousins!! This is just plain fabtastic.
I'm Sick Of All This Fighting
“Oh no”, you all say, “he is about to launch into a rant about the group and all the bitching.”
Well you are wrong. I just want to say that I am sick of all the cruelty that is being inflicted in Israel on both sides. It is indefensible to kill civilians, yet Israel, and Palestine don’t seem to have any problem with it. And you know what’s really awful? They still claim to be Jewish, Christian or Muslim. That is a joke!! Go to War Times to learn more.
Anyway, I’m feeling okay today. Okay, not great, but okay. I am however excited as I’m going to France tomorrow!! I know its only 26 miles away, but still, I can’t help getting excited!! And it’s the run up to the Presidential elections there (Come on, Jospin!!) so I am going to try and get the International Herald Tribune to get more in depth news. Aren’t I sad?!
This is for Pete and Laura…. I know how much you love Moulin Rouge.
“Oh no”, you all say, “he is about to launch into a rant about the group and all the bitching.”
Well you are wrong. I just want to say that I am sick of all the cruelty that is being inflicted in Israel on both sides. It is indefensible to kill civilians, yet Israel, and Palestine don’t seem to have any problem with it. And you know what’s really awful? They still claim to be Jewish, Christian or Muslim. That is a joke!! Go to War Times to learn more.
Anyway, I’m feeling okay today. Okay, not great, but okay. I am however excited as I’m going to France tomorrow!! I know its only 26 miles away, but still, I can’t help getting excited!! And it’s the run up to the Presidential elections there (Come on, Jospin!!) so I am going to try and get the International Herald Tribune to get more in depth news. Aren’t I sad?!
This is for Pete and Laura…. I know how much you love Moulin Rouge.
Sunday, April 07, 2002
I Have a Cunning Plan, Baldric.....
Anyone out there remember my blog when it had a Blog Back comments feature? Well you will be pleased to know I have found an alternative!!! See bottom of the post. My message board is thus soon to close. (sob).
It’s time for me to cheer up, and get over myself, isn’t it? I need a plan. Something to work towards.
But what? Whatever it is, I’m going to need money. I’ll need to save. But more importantly I need a pay rise or to get a better job. Priority Number 1.
I also need my own space. Living with my family simply isn’t an option after my brief taste of freedom in Brighton. So my next priority should be to get my own place, or at least a flat share. Priority Number 2.
But what then? Priority Number 3, in my mind, is to learn a foreign language. To do so would broaden my horizons, both at home and abroad. French is the best option, maybe with hopes of moving there to France (having “le manche” between me and Britain would feel very reassuring)
That kind of solves Priority Number 4. This is to move to France. I already know how to do this, what documents I need, plus who I need to see when I am there (like having to inform the police within 3 days of arrival). Why I have this kind of information stored in my head is beyond me.
Anyone out there remember my blog when it had a Blog Back comments feature? Well you will be pleased to know I have found an alternative!!! See bottom of the post. My message board is thus soon to close. (sob).
It’s time for me to cheer up, and get over myself, isn’t it? I need a plan. Something to work towards.
But what? Whatever it is, I’m going to need money. I’ll need to save. But more importantly I need a pay rise or to get a better job. Priority Number 1.
I also need my own space. Living with my family simply isn’t an option after my brief taste of freedom in Brighton. So my next priority should be to get my own place, or at least a flat share. Priority Number 2.
But what then? Priority Number 3, in my mind, is to learn a foreign language. To do so would broaden my horizons, both at home and abroad. French is the best option, maybe with hopes of moving there to France (having “le manche” between me and Britain would feel very reassuring)
That kind of solves Priority Number 4. This is to move to France. I already know how to do this, what documents I need, plus who I need to see when I am there (like having to inform the police within 3 days of arrival). Why I have this kind of information stored in my head is beyond me.
Things Of Note
I have changed this blogs name. It's now named after the title of one of my all time favourite songs.
Things to be happy about: I meet someone who recognised me from Brighton University (she is from Block 26). That was nice. I’m going to France on Tuesday with Chris, Zoe, and Elliot which I know will be fun. The Hardc0re 3 went out together last night for the first time in ages.
Things to be glum about: 8 people (most middle aged men) ganged up against me last night and stole my money (all two pound of it) as I neared my house. I thought I could take the original 4 but 8!! I’m not that daft!! Left me feeling very depressed. I hate living at home. I feel like I’m in hell when I’m there. I didn’t even go home from work last night instead I sought refuge at Pete’s house. I can’t face my family, I feel so unhappy.
I have changed this blogs name. It's now named after the title of one of my all time favourite songs.
Things to be happy about: I meet someone who recognised me from Brighton University (she is from Block 26). That was nice. I’m going to France on Tuesday with Chris, Zoe, and Elliot which I know will be fun. The Hardc0re 3 went out together last night for the first time in ages.
Things to be glum about: 8 people (most middle aged men) ganged up against me last night and stole my money (all two pound of it) as I neared my house. I thought I could take the original 4 but 8!! I’m not that daft!! Left me feeling very depressed. I hate living at home. I feel like I’m in hell when I’m there. I didn’t even go home from work last night instead I sought refuge at Pete’s house. I can’t face my family, I feel so unhappy.
Saturday, April 06, 2002
So It Has Come To This....
I did a despicable thing today. I didn't offer Elliot a chance to come out to Pizza Hut. My loathing of Kim (Maybe a hint of jealousy, mixed with some gossip, and the truth lead to this hatred I don't know) has lead me to avoid him as where he goes, she goes. I have known Elliot for 7 years and have been mates with him for most of them. And now, through no fault on his part, I fear this friendship maybe ending.
I think I'm changing again (see this) and I can see a lot of friends abandoning me when I do. That will be hard. But I've got to be true to myself. If they stick by me, that would be superb. But I know that won't happen. Why can't I ever be happy with what I have got?
I have decided to write my feeling towards Stephen in a note and send it to him, I shall not mess him around any more. A note seems so cruel but each time I've tried to break up with him on the phone I have been persuaded not to by him threatening suicide and the like.
I did a despicable thing today. I didn't offer Elliot a chance to come out to Pizza Hut. My loathing of Kim (Maybe a hint of jealousy, mixed with some gossip, and the truth lead to this hatred I don't know) has lead me to avoid him as where he goes, she goes. I have known Elliot for 7 years and have been mates with him for most of them. And now, through no fault on his part, I fear this friendship maybe ending.
I think I'm changing again (see this) and I can see a lot of friends abandoning me when I do. That will be hard. But I've got to be true to myself. If they stick by me, that would be superb. But I know that won't happen. Why can't I ever be happy with what I have got?
I have decided to write my feeling towards Stephen in a note and send it to him, I shall not mess him around any more. A note seems so cruel but each time I've tried to break up with him on the phone I have been persuaded not to by him threatening suicide and the like.
Guess What I Realised
I am back. A bit early but I’ve sorted out some problems.
For about four years I kept a written diary which I finally gave up in Rome, I decide I’d focus on my blog. But I lost sight of the fact that this is my journal. I tried (and failed) to put interesting things in, to add snazzy features like Bloglet, Bloghop, and some silly pictures. But that’s not how my journals are. This blog has been consistently badly written, my journals never were. I should have been recording my feelings not events especially meaningless ones.
So I have begun the process of returning to a pure journal format, in fact I might turn it into a private blog, I don’t know yet. What I do know is I shall be returning to a far simpler format. My links will stay, plus Blogsnob and my message board. But don’t expect it to be exciting or even interesting. This is to be my personal journal. I won’t avoid offending people, I won’t be tactful, I shall be frank about how I’m feeling, truthful about my depressions, realistic about my joys.
After I saw the Sixth Former on Friday I went back to reading my journals, and realised how much emotion there is in the words I wrote then. I re-read my blog and found nothing but pitiful teenage angst.
I haven’t really seen my mum, properly, this year. You know we’ve kind of drifted apart. So Friday when I wasn’t feeling too good I decided to treat her and spend some quality time with her. We had a curry, watched Charlie’s Angel’s and laughed and joked together like we used to. I’d missed that. We had 13 years where I never had to share her. Then along came Tony and the twins, and suddenly my mum was gone. I love having her back even if it is just one night of the year.
God I miss having some one to love like I loved Colin. I miss cuddles, I miss watching a movie with someone I love, and (this ones strange) I miss not having sex. I mean its good and all that but relationships are so much simpler when its just cuddling and watching movies now aren’t they? How is it that I have so many nice friends and family, yet I still feel so deeply lonely and confused?
I am back. A bit early but I’ve sorted out some problems.
For about four years I kept a written diary which I finally gave up in Rome, I decide I’d focus on my blog. But I lost sight of the fact that this is my journal. I tried (and failed) to put interesting things in, to add snazzy features like Bloglet, Bloghop, and some silly pictures. But that’s not how my journals are. This blog has been consistently badly written, my journals never were. I should have been recording my feelings not events especially meaningless ones.
So I have begun the process of returning to a pure journal format, in fact I might turn it into a private blog, I don’t know yet. What I do know is I shall be returning to a far simpler format. My links will stay, plus Blogsnob and my message board. But don’t expect it to be exciting or even interesting. This is to be my personal journal. I won’t avoid offending people, I won’t be tactful, I shall be frank about how I’m feeling, truthful about my depressions, realistic about my joys.
After I saw the Sixth Former on Friday I went back to reading my journals, and realised how much emotion there is in the words I wrote then. I re-read my blog and found nothing but pitiful teenage angst.
I haven’t really seen my mum, properly, this year. You know we’ve kind of drifted apart. So Friday when I wasn’t feeling too good I decided to treat her and spend some quality time with her. We had a curry, watched Charlie’s Angel’s and laughed and joked together like we used to. I’d missed that. We had 13 years where I never had to share her. Then along came Tony and the twins, and suddenly my mum was gone. I love having her back even if it is just one night of the year.
God I miss having some one to love like I loved Colin. I miss cuddles, I miss watching a movie with someone I love, and (this ones strange) I miss not having sex. I mean its good and all that but relationships are so much simpler when its just cuddling and watching movies now aren’t they? How is it that I have so many nice friends and family, yet I still feel so deeply lonely and confused?
Friday, April 05, 2002
...........
I have just come back from buying some more paper for the printer. I had quite a shock on the way back.After a brief chat with Sally, a barmaid at Gee’s, in Cross’ I set off on the two minute walk to the hotel. I spotted a guy about 50 metres in front of me.
Gosh, I thought, he’s cute. Well I didn’t think anything so innocent but you get my drift. I couldn’t quite shake the idea I knew him from somewhere, maybe a guest, maybe he goes down to Gee’s a lot, then I thought maybe he went to the Harvey (my old school). As I got closer I realised who it was. My heart skipped a beat, I had butterflies in my stomach, I felt “giddy”, and that is the only way I can describe it. The actual feeling is far less easily described.
I felt like screaming, or crying, or running, or jumping. Something to express the strength of my emotions. Who was this boy you ask? It was my God, the Sixth Former. Before I saw him, way back when, I was a hard line Conservative, Hetrosexual, who thought unrequited love was something that didn’t happen in real life. Then he changed my life.
I digress, he saw me and said hi. I couldn’t reply just waved an acknowledgement and walked on, trying to act normal. I assume he recognised me as the boy who followed him around the school all that time ago like some lost puppy. I’d forgotten how much he (the fictional he that only exists in my mind that is, I don’t know him really) means to me. How powerful my feelings for him were (and now are).
I remember the first school half term after I first noticed him. I felt almost physically ill knowing I wouldn’t see him for a while. I remained lovesick all holiday. Then there was the time I was delivering papers in Lynwood, and who should open one of the doors to get the paper. Him. I nearly keeled over dead there and then only managed to remain standing by leaning on my bike.
People out there will put it down to a crush. It probably was and is. But if you could just feel for a second what I feel right now, then you’d understand. It’s the best and the worst feeling of my life. I can’t function now I know he is back in town.
I have never loved anyone except him. No one else has ever caused me to feel like this. No one ever will. Now I’m off to go try and return to normal. I must forget about him or I might not make it till the summer. I might just go mad.
I have just come back from buying some more paper for the printer. I had quite a shock on the way back.After a brief chat with Sally, a barmaid at Gee’s, in Cross’ I set off on the two minute walk to the hotel. I spotted a guy about 50 metres in front of me.
Gosh, I thought, he’s cute. Well I didn’t think anything so innocent but you get my drift. I couldn’t quite shake the idea I knew him from somewhere, maybe a guest, maybe he goes down to Gee’s a lot, then I thought maybe he went to the Harvey (my old school). As I got closer I realised who it was. My heart skipped a beat, I had butterflies in my stomach, I felt “giddy”, and that is the only way I can describe it. The actual feeling is far less easily described.
I felt like screaming, or crying, or running, or jumping. Something to express the strength of my emotions. Who was this boy you ask? It was my God, the Sixth Former. Before I saw him, way back when, I was a hard line Conservative, Hetrosexual, who thought unrequited love was something that didn’t happen in real life. Then he changed my life.
I digress, he saw me and said hi. I couldn’t reply just waved an acknowledgement and walked on, trying to act normal. I assume he recognised me as the boy who followed him around the school all that time ago like some lost puppy. I’d forgotten how much he (the fictional he that only exists in my mind that is, I don’t know him really) means to me. How powerful my feelings for him were (and now are).
I remember the first school half term after I first noticed him. I felt almost physically ill knowing I wouldn’t see him for a while. I remained lovesick all holiday. Then there was the time I was delivering papers in Lynwood, and who should open one of the doors to get the paper. Him. I nearly keeled over dead there and then only managed to remain standing by leaning on my bike.
People out there will put it down to a crush. It probably was and is. But if you could just feel for a second what I feel right now, then you’d understand. It’s the best and the worst feeling of my life. I can’t function now I know he is back in town.
I have never loved anyone except him. No one else has ever caused me to feel like this. No one ever will. Now I’m off to go try and return to normal. I must forget about him or I might not make it till the summer. I might just go mad.
Skuba Diva
I went out again last night. Me and Pete meet up around seven at the same place as yesterday and walked into Folkestone to go to Skuba. On the way we got some chips at Hedgehogs. I ate them all. This whole wobble experiment hasn’t really caught on.
As we neared Skuba, we decided a detour to sing to Matt was in order. As you can imagine we were surprised to find him, his mum and Maria, who is his friend, fighting with a jeep (a proper army one and everything. His mum is so cool). I stopped to gawp while Peter tried to help but only managed to convince all three of them he was gay. Poor Pete he has to put up with this a lot. I don’t think he is gay (and I have gaydar).
We got to Skuba. Our mission? To find out the name of the gay barman (who it would seem has a bit of a thing for Pete). Pete seamlessly managed to ask after we offered to send a message from him to his mates at Gee’s. For the record it’s Lee.
Our numbers boosted by Sam and Chris (who adamantly refused to come in, you big girls blouse you) we headed for Gee’s. Tom Quaye a former classmate of mine was guitarist and lead singer of the band. Andrew wasn’t there, he was replaced by a new new barmaid called Sue who seems to think I’m northern!! Oh by the way the “new” barmaids name is Sonia.
Tom Quaye’s band was just too bad to even consider being called musical. Imagine a cat being twirled around by its tail, screaming as it goes. Tom Quaye was worse. I was part of a small resistance movement at the back of the bar who shouted for them to get off every song break. Meanwhile Sara (Lee the barmans friend) was teaching Pete how to whistle very loudly, while Vicky the barmaid looked on disapprovingly.
Today Blogger is playing me up. I’m am getting a new domain soon. And people have started to visit from Bloghop after I became the second best blog. And they are not liking it!! Oh well this is just a place for me to ramble on. It isn’t too serious!!
I went out again last night. Me and Pete meet up around seven at the same place as yesterday and walked into Folkestone to go to Skuba. On the way we got some chips at Hedgehogs. I ate them all. This whole wobble experiment hasn’t really caught on.
As we neared Skuba, we decided a detour to sing to Matt was in order. As you can imagine we were surprised to find him, his mum and Maria, who is his friend, fighting with a jeep (a proper army one and everything. His mum is so cool). I stopped to gawp while Peter tried to help but only managed to convince all three of them he was gay. Poor Pete he has to put up with this a lot. I don’t think he is gay (and I have gaydar).
We got to Skuba. Our mission? To find out the name of the gay barman (who it would seem has a bit of a thing for Pete). Pete seamlessly managed to ask after we offered to send a message from him to his mates at Gee’s. For the record it’s Lee.
Our numbers boosted by Sam and Chris (who adamantly refused to come in, you big girls blouse you) we headed for Gee’s. Tom Quaye a former classmate of mine was guitarist and lead singer of the band. Andrew wasn’t there, he was replaced by a new new barmaid called Sue who seems to think I’m northern!! Oh by the way the “new” barmaids name is Sonia.
Tom Quaye’s band was just too bad to even consider being called musical. Imagine a cat being twirled around by its tail, screaming as it goes. Tom Quaye was worse. I was part of a small resistance movement at the back of the bar who shouted for them to get off every song break. Meanwhile Sara (Lee the barmans friend) was teaching Pete how to whistle very loudly, while Vicky the barmaid looked on disapprovingly.
Today Blogger is playing me up. I’m am getting a new domain soon. And people have started to visit from Bloghop after I became the second best blog. And they are not liking it!! Oh well this is just a place for me to ramble on. It isn’t too serious!!
Thursday, April 04, 2002
I'm Missing Brighton
I am suffering from a deep regret that I haven't kept in contact with my Brighton mates. Or more correctly they didn't keep in contact with me. Those times at uni weren't exactly happy times for me but my flatmates certainly ensured I enjoyed being there any way. I don't think they even have my email address or blog address any more :0( oh well I'll live!!
I am suffering from a deep regret that I haven't kept in contact with my Brighton mates. Or more correctly they didn't keep in contact with me. Those times at uni weren't exactly happy times for me but my flatmates certainly ensured I enjoyed being there any way. I don't think they even have my email address or blog address any more :0( oh well I'll live!!
Jason Goes Skuba Diving
Yesterday was just the nicest day so far this year the sun was shiningm the birds were singing. Yippee British spring is here!!
So me and Laura planned a night out yesterday and I persuaded Elliot, Peter, and Sam to join us down at Gee’s. I meet Pete on Cheriton High Street, but before we could finish saying hello we spotted an ice cream van (which smelt of sewage may I add).. Not one to get over excited I camply screamed “ice cream” and ran right in front of oncoming traffic….. Pete was kind enough to by me a double 99 with strawberry sauce. Maybe I’ll start my attempt at Mr. Alan’s Wobble Experiment today. Pete proceeded to scare children and elderly people alike by waving at them. You would be surprised how scary some people find that.
We got to Gee’s just before eight, got our selves a drink with Elliot and annoyed the “new” barmaid (she has been there for months but we still don’t know her name). Well Pete and Elliot annoyed her by asking for stupidly complex cocktails. Laura declined to come out as Kim might make an appearance (Laura then began telling me that I didn’t like her. Do all girls tell men how the men are supposed to feel?). She did although very briefly as me, Pete and Sam decided to go seranade Matt at his window (we decided Moulin Rouge songs would work best).
We then headed for Skuba the new gay bar in Folkestone (NO Pete and Sam are not gay!). It was great, they have plastic encased barbed wire toilet seats and an aquarium behind the bar. This may not sound exciting but in Folkestone this is a milestone!!
Having sorted things out with Laura I headed home happy, knowing Skuba is soon to become my favourite bar………
I have decided to turn down the offer of appearing on Kilroy....... way too much fake sun tan involved.
Yesterday was just the nicest day so far this year the sun was shiningm the birds were singing. Yippee British spring is here!!
So me and Laura planned a night out yesterday and I persuaded Elliot, Peter, and Sam to join us down at Gee’s. I meet Pete on Cheriton High Street, but before we could finish saying hello we spotted an ice cream van (which smelt of sewage may I add).. Not one to get over excited I camply screamed “ice cream” and ran right in front of oncoming traffic….. Pete was kind enough to by me a double 99 with strawberry sauce. Maybe I’ll start my attempt at Mr. Alan’s Wobble Experiment today. Pete proceeded to scare children and elderly people alike by waving at them. You would be surprised how scary some people find that.
We got to Gee’s just before eight, got our selves a drink with Elliot and annoyed the “new” barmaid (she has been there for months but we still don’t know her name). Well Pete and Elliot annoyed her by asking for stupidly complex cocktails. Laura declined to come out as Kim might make an appearance (Laura then began telling me that I didn’t like her. Do all girls tell men how the men are supposed to feel?). She did although very briefly as me, Pete and Sam decided to go seranade Matt at his window (we decided Moulin Rouge songs would work best).
We then headed for Skuba the new gay bar in Folkestone (NO Pete and Sam are not gay!). It was great, they have plastic encased barbed wire toilet seats and an aquarium behind the bar. This may not sound exciting but in Folkestone this is a milestone!!
Having sorted things out with Laura I headed home happy, knowing Skuba is soon to become my favourite bar………
I have decided to turn down the offer of appearing on Kilroy....... way too much fake sun tan involved.
Wednesday, April 03, 2002
On Kilroy This Morning: How not to fix a toilet.
In Faulty Towers today, firstly our semi-permanent guests list has risen to record levels. Mr. Brennan and Mr. Holt have been joined by thirteen police man, immigration officials and one police woman. They will all be here for about six months spread over a year long period!!
Me, Besh and a random hunky plumber snuck into Mr. Holt’s room to fix a toilet which was causing the Games Room to flood! He was still asleep and I thought everything went swimmingly till he just came down and said “You enjoy sneaking into guests rooms when you think they are asleep.” He was quite understanding when I explained though, we get on quite well.
Then me and Besh had to transport 9 tables and 27 chairs from the loft at the top of the hotel to the lowest floor. Which lead to me and him giving the hotel a very manly aroma of BO and sweat. To top it off I have gotten a phone call from the Kilroy television show asking whether I won’t to go on Friday and be part of a debate. They are faxing me the details.
In Faulty Towers today, firstly our semi-permanent guests list has risen to record levels. Mr. Brennan and Mr. Holt have been joined by thirteen police man, immigration officials and one police woman. They will all be here for about six months spread over a year long period!!
Me, Besh and a random hunky plumber snuck into Mr. Holt’s room to fix a toilet which was causing the Games Room to flood! He was still asleep and I thought everything went swimmingly till he just came down and said “You enjoy sneaking into guests rooms when you think they are asleep.” He was quite understanding when I explained though, we get on quite well.
Then me and Besh had to transport 9 tables and 27 chairs from the loft at the top of the hotel to the lowest floor. Which lead to me and him giving the hotel a very manly aroma of BO and sweat. To top it off I have gotten a phone call from the Kilroy television show asking whether I won’t to go on Friday and be part of a debate. They are faxing me the details.
The Adventures of the Cinema Monkey's
I went to see Blade II at the cinema yesterday night with Sam, his alternate personalities, Pete, Zoe and Chris (who doubles up as the Scottish narrator of Big Brother). Thus the car was crammed. Within less than three minutes of arrival Pete decide to call everything a monkey “We’re not your Seat Monkey’s, Chris” he exclaimed. “What do you think I am? A Food Monkey!” he shouted. And some people have the audacity to call ME mad.
Right Blade II is so bad it rates up there along with AI and The Hole as some of the worst movies of all time. No characters, no acting and some how even the fight scenes become boring within two minutes. Plus there are even plot holes when there isn’t even a plot. The director truly surpassed himself!!
People are beginning to make me see that its time to officially dump Stephen. I have been going out with him since September 26th 2000. My longest relationship to date. I need to head up to Scuba (the new gay club that opened on Friday two doors up from work) and get myself some new gay friends. Maybe even return to random pick ups (the last British one of those was in early 2000) like I used to do before I got myself a ball and chain. Have to start on Mister Alan’s Wobble Experiment and get myself looking all slim and fabtastic.
I went to see Blade II at the cinema yesterday night with Sam, his alternate personalities, Pete, Zoe and Chris (who doubles up as the Scottish narrator of Big Brother). Thus the car was crammed. Within less than three minutes of arrival Pete decide to call everything a monkey “We’re not your Seat Monkey’s, Chris” he exclaimed. “What do you think I am? A Food Monkey!” he shouted. And some people have the audacity to call ME mad.
Right Blade II is so bad it rates up there along with AI and The Hole as some of the worst movies of all time. No characters, no acting and some how even the fight scenes become boring within two minutes. Plus there are even plot holes when there isn’t even a plot. The director truly surpassed himself!!
People are beginning to make me see that its time to officially dump Stephen. I have been going out with him since September 26th 2000. My longest relationship to date. I need to head up to Scuba (the new gay club that opened on Friday two doors up from work) and get myself some new gay friends. Maybe even return to random pick ups (the last British one of those was in early 2000) like I used to do before I got myself a ball and chain. Have to start on Mister Alan’s Wobble Experiment and get myself looking all slim and fabtastic.
Tuesday, April 02, 2002
Jason Has Sex!
It had been three months and a half but finally I had sex again. It wasn't good, it wasn't even okay, but it was sex with Stephen. I have a warning for you, Constant Reader, don't have sex with anyone you don't love, or more especially some one you don't find attractive. He did about as much for me as a girl would.
On a lighter note I saw the Very Brady Sequel that I purchased from Blackstar for the first time. I mean I have seen it before but not recently. Its groovy, its neato, its the Brady's!!
It had been three months and a half but finally I had sex again. It wasn't good, it wasn't even okay, but it was sex with Stephen. I have a warning for you, Constant Reader, don't have sex with anyone you don't love, or more especially some one you don't find attractive. He did about as much for me as a girl would.
On a lighter note I saw the Very Brady Sequel that I purchased from Blackstar for the first time. I mean I have seen it before but not recently. Its groovy, its neato, its the Brady's!!
Exclusive - Can't Think of A Good Title Says Jason!
OK its my day off today (finally!!) and I have no money (the last pay cheque bounced, I'm waiting for it to be represented). Stephen (as opposed to Steve) is coming today, my cousins Fran and Rhys are down, and I'm bored.
I didn't go out last night as promised despite Zoe's best attempts to persuade me. I am not going out if I know I'm not going to enjoy myself, and with certain people I know I'll only feel angry at their lack of fun. Imagine gong on a school trip with some overbearing school mistress. Thats what going out with this person is like. "Don't do that, its dangerous." "Lets all have some tea and be friends." I mean we are eighteen!! The whole tea and buns thing might work if it was done post-post-modernist stylee. But its not. Am I the only person who likes to utterly dangerous, dirty, irresponsible things?!
Another thing (oh no I'm ranting) if people stop taking life so seriously things would be so much easier. Some people can't let go. Things that finished years ago should be forgotten (see the ongoing saga of Ed, either get rid of him from you lives forever [change your email address for instance] or forgive). Things that only some off us know (such as two peoples secret rendezvous outside Gees over Christmas) should come out and let people judge it accordingly. I'm sick of people swooning over an adulteress who has knowingly "cheated" (on one of our friends with one of our friends whose girlfriend is one of our friends!!!!). And yet the two innocents in this don't know about it (along with a lot of our group). I desperately want to tell them. I don't like lying to them. But I don't want to be the one who is blamed for hurting them. No names yet, but I've decided that I'm going to do it. I'm going to tell them. The truth may cause me to lose my mates but the truth will out and soon. All of my mates: you have been warned!!
OK its my day off today (finally!!) and I have no money (the last pay cheque bounced, I'm waiting for it to be represented). Stephen (as opposed to Steve) is coming today, my cousins Fran and Rhys are down, and I'm bored.
I didn't go out last night as promised despite Zoe's best attempts to persuade me. I am not going out if I know I'm not going to enjoy myself, and with certain people I know I'll only feel angry at their lack of fun. Imagine gong on a school trip with some overbearing school mistress. Thats what going out with this person is like. "Don't do that, its dangerous." "Lets all have some tea and be friends." I mean we are eighteen!! The whole tea and buns thing might work if it was done post-post-modernist stylee. But its not. Am I the only person who likes to utterly dangerous, dirty, irresponsible things?!
Another thing (oh no I'm ranting) if people stop taking life so seriously things would be so much easier. Some people can't let go. Things that finished years ago should be forgotten (see the ongoing saga of Ed, either get rid of him from you lives forever [change your email address for instance] or forgive). Things that only some off us know (such as two peoples secret rendezvous outside Gees over Christmas) should come out and let people judge it accordingly. I'm sick of people swooning over an adulteress who has knowingly "cheated" (on one of our friends with one of our friends whose girlfriend is one of our friends!!!!). And yet the two innocents in this don't know about it (along with a lot of our group). I desperately want to tell them. I don't like lying to them. But I don't want to be the one who is blamed for hurting them. No names yet, but I've decided that I'm going to do it. I'm going to tell them. The truth may cause me to lose my mates but the truth will out and soon. All of my mates: you have been warned!!
Monday, April 01, 2002
Steve's First Day: Jacqui's Thoughts
I'm slowly getting to grips with HTML language as can be seen by my extensive use of colour fading. I'm quite proud of it!! Next week: password access to my site (only kidding!! Although I've learnt how to!).
Steve arrived and I thought he'd bring a sense of order to the place. I thought as its his first day that would not happen quickly. Jacqui has other thoughts. "He's done fuck all. You understand. He came in here and all he's done is draw up a rota and a price list. You understand." I've started to notice she says "You understand" a lot when she is annoyed. He is just getting to grips with this hotel. I mean it will take time (wait till he finds the truth about this place!)
Do you know I've hardly mentioned my cats in the last 3 months. People out there may not even know about them. Well to get everyone up to date: I'm a loony cat person (you know, the one the kids all say is a witch and has about 30 cats). I have 3 cats plus another two who are part time (they live somewhere else but still find the time to laze around my room). They are Millie (8, strict on the others, very refined). Angel (3, the soppiest cat in the world, mother of Scooby), Scooby (0, fun loving, called Scooby Poo for obvious reasons) plus Crystal (unknown, manky cat, hated by everyone but me, has scabies), and Robbie (5, fathers every kitten for a three mile radius, he and Millie flirt terribly, will die if my mum ever sees him again).
I have such a dirty mind. I used to be all innocent and sweet. Now……. Almost every man I see is rated on shag-ability and on what I'd like to do with him. Its terrible. It shouldn't happen. But I can't help it! AAAAHHHHH!!! Any ideas on how to clean my thoughts should be sent to me post haste.
I'm slowly getting to grips with HTML language as can be seen by my extensive use of colour fading. I'm quite proud of it!! Next week: password access to my site (only kidding!! Although I've learnt how to!).
Steve arrived and I thought he'd bring a sense of order to the place. I thought as its his first day that would not happen quickly. Jacqui has other thoughts. "He's done fuck all. You understand. He came in here and all he's done is draw up a rota and a price list. You understand." I've started to notice she says "You understand" a lot when she is annoyed. He is just getting to grips with this hotel. I mean it will take time (wait till he finds the truth about this place!)
Do you know I've hardly mentioned my cats in the last 3 months. People out there may not even know about them. Well to get everyone up to date: I'm a loony cat person (you know, the one the kids all say is a witch and has about 30 cats). I have 3 cats plus another two who are part time (they live somewhere else but still find the time to laze around my room). They are Millie (8, strict on the others, very refined). Angel (3, the soppiest cat in the world, mother of Scooby), Scooby (0, fun loving, called Scooby Poo for obvious reasons) plus Crystal (unknown, manky cat, hated by everyone but me, has scabies), and Robbie (5, fathers every kitten for a three mile radius, he and Millie flirt terribly, will die if my mum ever sees him again).
I have such a dirty mind. I used to be all innocent and sweet. Now……. Almost every man I see is rated on shag-ability and on what I'd like to do with him. Its terrible. It shouldn't happen. But I can't help it! AAAAHHHHH!!! Any ideas on how to clean my thoughts should be sent to me post haste.
Google is Just Plain Evil
I just did some searchs on Google. The good news is I return to the top of the list for searches like Faulty Towers. The bad news is I'm third on a search for MT. Darn it!! My secret is out. (only joking I think its way cool!!)
I had a night in last night because I despeartely needed one, I had been out 5 times since Monday!! Looks like it may be another night in as Kim has hijacked mine and Lauras night out. Oh well theres always tomorrow.
I just did some searchs on Google. The good news is I return to the top of the list for searches like Faulty Towers. The bad news is I'm third on a search for MT. Darn it!! My secret is out. (only joking I think its way cool!!)
I had a night in last night because I despeartely needed one, I had been out 5 times since Monday!! Looks like it may be another night in as Kim has hijacked mine and Lauras night out. Oh well theres always tomorrow.
Jason is a Greek Goddess Scandal
I forgot to wish everyone a happy easter. :o( Sorry. Hope you had a good time (is you celebrate easter that is if you don't I hope you still ate a lot of chocolate just like me!!)
Now why did I take that test? Ah all the nice northerners left yesterday. Leaving just the grouchy ones.......
*News* I finally have the new manager who has been promised for months (I return to being just plain old receptionist Yippee). Steve arrived and moved into room 4 yesterday. He seems far less insane than the rest of us.
And finally I've just returned to ICQ (under same old name and number [thank you mister alan for reminding me to do this]) My old ICQ number (if any one has forgotten):123578373
And in other news I am now an MSN person as well: my username is JKay8838@AOL.com (note the subtle difference it is my old, old AOL account from before time was time)
I forgot to wish everyone a happy easter. :o( Sorry. Hope you had a good time (is you celebrate easter that is if you don't I hope you still ate a lot of chocolate just like me!!)
Now why did I take that test? Ah all the nice northerners left yesterday. Leaving just the grouchy ones.......
*News* I finally have the new manager who has been promised for months (I return to being just plain old receptionist Yippee). Steve arrived and moved into room 4 yesterday. He seems far less insane than the rest of us.
And finally I've just returned to ICQ (under same old name and number [thank you mister alan for reminding me to do this]) My old ICQ number (if any one has forgotten):123578373
And in other news I am now an MSN person as well: my username is JKay8838@AOL.com (note the subtle difference it is my old, old AOL account from before time was time)
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