Saturday, April 06, 2002

So It Has Come To This....

I did a despicable thing today. I didn't offer Elliot a chance to come out to Pizza Hut. My loathing of Kim (Maybe a hint of jealousy, mixed with some gossip, and the truth lead to this hatred I don't know) has lead me to avoid him as where he goes, she goes. I have known Elliot for 7 years and have been mates with him for most of them. And now, through no fault on his part, I fear this friendship maybe ending.

I think I'm changing again (see this) and I can see a lot of friends abandoning me when I do. That will be hard. But I've got to be true to myself. If they stick by me, that would be superb. But I know that won't happen. Why can't I ever be happy with what I have got?

I have decided to write my feeling towards Stephen in a note and send it to him, I shall not mess him around any more. A note seems so cruel but each time I've tried to break up with him on the phone I have been persuaded not to by him threatening suicide and the like.

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