Wednesday, July 03, 2002

It's Got To Be Perfect

"It's got to be perfect,
It's got to be worth it
Too many people take second best,
But I won't take anything less"
"Perfect" - Fairground Attraction

I know everyone knows I am gay. But still I sometimes forget. Not the sexuality part, but how I identify and who with.

In the past I have been a bit of homohomophobe. This is a term I saw Matt Lucas use to describe those gay men who are prejudiced against camp men and avoid leading a gay social life. When I used to go out to the gay bars in Canterbury with Stephen, you would find me chatting and laughing with the straights and the lesbians, while Stephen went off with his gay friends.

I realise now my self imposed isolation from the gay community in the interests of social inclusion with straights was a big mistake. In the last few weeks I have begun to realise how lonely I feel since losing all my gay mates. It is not depressing me as such it's just suddenly I understand what is missing in my life.

My straight mates are great and I wouldn't want to lose them. But I also need to spread my wings, rediscover the "chicken" inside myself. I apologise to the gay men I have ignored simply because I wanted to avoid the gay ghetto and I warn those gay men who are bitchy and cruel, Jae is back on the scene and he ain't going to let you hurt him this time....

Ben was telling me he has no friends in his home town (homophobia is rife on Romney Marsh as everywhere in this country) and asked if he could come out with me. Why, I think it's time to give him a call, don't you?

In other news the strange bloke who emailed me, I think I know who it is. Shall keep you informed. And if you hven't checked out my links recently, why not? There's loads of newish links there. Go visit.

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