Tuesday, July 30, 2002

As I made my way to work today I remembered an incident at Brighton Station on the day that I ran away. I was watching the throng of commuters, and I decided that whatever happened I would never turn out like them, all normal and bored.

At this point a homeless man came up to me, surveyed the people too and said, "Listen never become like these people so shallow and empty. Don't ever let this world rule you like it does them." (kind of like the crazy old sage in Julius Caesar who cries out "Beware the Ides Of March!")

So it was with much annoyance that I discovered.. I am one of "those people". I was wearing a shirt and trousers and some nice shoes. I had a security tag on. I have sold out!!!

This is just not me. I can't understand how I let this happen. I shall stick with it for 16 months until all my debts are repaid and then.... then I shall sling a bag over my shoulder, and leave this town for good. I don't want to be normal!!! I want to be a rebel, a campaigner, a flag waving homosexual with some stories to tell.

At lunch today me and ben walked to Tesco's together. it was the longest chat we have had in weeks. i really like chatting with him, and although I don't fancy him anymore, I really respect him as a person.

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