Friday, May 31, 2002

Where Have I been?

”Doctor, doctor, won’t you please prescribe me something?
A day in the life of someone else.
Don’t let me get me.
I am my own worst enemy”
“Don’t Let Me Get Me” Pink


Gonna be a bit long, okay?

Yesterday I was in a very dark, unhappy and, ultimately, self-destructive mood. I wrote a rather nasty post which involved some rather choice words. I decided not to post it, or anything that tried to be jolly, as I felt it was inappropriate. (You know me, I hate swearing!!)

So let me update you on what has been going on. On Wednesday Tony came home from work and had a go at me for no reason. He preceded to ban me from the internet. Again there was no reason. I have not looked at porn or anything salicious (love that word) as Tony put the AOL settings as those for a 12 year old months ago. I pay for my own AOL account but I have been banned from that for a while. I am only allowed on the internet for half an hour each day when Tony is home. I won’t bother telling you what this did for my depression. You can probably work it out. Tony has a way of charming people so that they don’t believe he does these things. That don’t believe how much he goes out of his way to hurt me. I won’t dwell on it any longer but needless to say I have never been so depressed (that includes the events of December and January when I think you’ll agree I went rather bizarre).

Anyhew I went out to Gees, Leas Club and McDonalds Drive-Thru with Pete, Chris, Sam and Zoe last night. Gees band were Clacket Lane. Quite good. Lent Zoe my old school tie as it is her last day at school today (is it some girls school tradition to wear Harvey ties?). That cheered me up. Then got home to discover that Ruby (Wax) was on V Graham Norton dressed in some sort of sleeping bag in the shape of a penis. This also cheered me up!! Then went to bed and had lovely dream involving Dermot, Tom Welling and a beach. This of course was a very cheery dream indeed. ;o)

Where is Peter Tatchell when you need him?

Queens on the Leas, a Fetish picnic, has been cancelled because of police warnings of severe homophobic reprisals. Probably from the police themselves no doubt. I really worry about the Kent gay community if we are going to let some homophobes stop our fun. The police are there to protect us, we are not the ones in the wrong. If we are unable to stand up for ourselves then we will have our very lmited rights curtailed even further. This is a fact of modern homosexual history in Europe, has no one paid attention to rise of the BNP, le Front Nationale or the Freedom party? Am I the last gay man in the world to know about the Strichjungen? Answers on a postcard…

Big Brother Update Sunita left the house yesterday at 7pm to become the first British contestant to ever leave of their own free will. She promptly had an interview with Dermot on Big Brothers Little Brother. Phwoah!! He is gorgeous!! Lee turned 22 yesterday, they had a wrestling party. Alex (the twat) held a house meeting to discuss important topics such as: the toilet lid, late night snacks, and Spencer’s atheletes foot. Even though he is so obviously in denial over his sexuality I still want him out tonight (although the housemates don’t yet know they will have to evict someone instead of nominating as is usual!! evil laugh). I want Alex out but I suspect Jade will be the first (or is that second) to go.

Isn’t Eminem hot? 2002 World Cup starts today. I will, as always, support Brazil. Who are you supporting? The Queens Golden Jubilee weekend started today anyone doing anything?

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