The Year That Nearly Isn't Any More

As the year draws to it's end let's take a look back through the power of Temporal Vision! *imagine swirly lines and a satisfying whirring sound now...*

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January

And my blog was featured in the Guardian because of this post

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February

I get loads of links as people search for the gay footballers from the NOTW.. I believe this story got a little buried thanks to the World Cup!

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March

My most read post of all time. Brent Corrigan has a little something to do with that... And a look back to the early days of blogging

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April

Jae becomes a local

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May

I went to Thailand! And Eurovision...

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June

Was just a very nice month indeed

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July

A crazy Pirate themed trip to Brighton

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August

Was all about the Shadow People

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September

I get featured in the London Lite because of this post, and so does Nick!

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October

I wore a tuxedo...

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November

I became an atheist and went curling.

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December

Nick left work and nothing much else happened.

EDIT I actually just publish the name of the company I work for. Whoops. First time in a year and a half though!

My man of the year (after much fighting with Charles Dera, mud wrestling if my imagination serves me correctly....) is Jensen Ackles!

And my blogger of the year? Hmm... PoetX! He's had a tough year!

Have a Happy New Year everyone!

Jenika Beat This...

So we'll end the year with some random posts. Todays theme is totally random hot men! Hello! I love arms... I really love arms... and bums... and Philip Olivier... This cutie is from Male and Beautiful

Just a little further. I've got more but Blogger is playing up... :(

Technorati : gay, hot men

Doctor Who

Amid rumours that David Tennant might leave during the fourth season I learn that Ryan Carnes will be appearing! He is the one on the left in the picture below. Yum Yum.




Doctor Who just gets better.

David don't leave!

The Goys

Not in a mood to write so here's one I prepared earlier.

In this world we gays have to put up with homophobia from some hetrosexuals. But the thing that annoys me more than homophobic hetrosexuals is homo homophobics.

Some of them just don't like "camp" guys and think they give the rest of us a bad image. Erm. Camp guys, and tranvestites, are our front line. They are the people who have to put up with the worst of the crap. We need to respect them not attempt to pretend we have nothing to do with them like they are some kind of disease carrier. You can't believe that societies acceptance should be based on us cutting off our more obvious members!

Some of them don't like anal sex or anything that might "feminise" men. They like to call themselves "goys". Now theirs is a perfectly acceptable sexual preference, being into frottage etc is not a bad thing. But the way they talk about the gay community on some of their pages makes me sick. Some even refer to us as perverts! Erm. No. Just because I like anal sex, I'm not a pervert. If I meet a goy who thinks I'm a pervert I may not be able to resist beating their wimpish arses till they scream like a girl. And no. That doesn't turn me on. I just think it'd be a fitting punishment for daring to call me a pervert.

And some of them are just weird. I once dated a guy (I tried to find a link but got distracted by this weird night out...) this guy was obsessed with Maggie Thatcher, hated "blacks" and thought gays should keep to themselves. Obviously this was just one date and I walked out half way through. But really. WEIRD!

So guys. Just live and let live, please!

Jae loves muscle!

Technorati : gay, goy, homophobia

It's Christmas Time

Sorry if this looks awful again. Still having no luck publishing with Blogger so am using a second rate desktop publisher.

Yesterday Jim made a fab dinner which was so huge I cannot begin to describe it. I still feel full. Ok. I can still force a few After Eights down. But otherwise...

Doctor Who was on last night!! The Runaway Bride was quite good. The monster wasn't exactly scary (very eighties...) but Catherine Tate was a laugh. And David Tennant is the best Doctor ever. And I want to have his babies or him to have mine. I still can't quite decide which so I say both for now. I suppose at this time of year it is better to give than receive... :) Oh I am in a disgusting mood this morning...

Boxing Day today and I'm off to Martine and Nicks to see the family.

Hope everyone is having a lovely festive Christmas!

Technorati : christmas

It's Christmas Eve

Sorry this looks a mess, blogger is messing about...

Friday had a lovely Christmas lunch with the team in the Riverside. Mmm... Guinea Fowl.

Yesterday we got up, reluctantly, and headed to Greenwich market to get the final finishing touchs for our Christmas. Now I had been dreading it all week. I imagined crowds of people, pushing and shoving and being their usual stupid selves. But no! We got there early, it was still practically empty and we were in and out within minutes. It was great! I got an impulse purchase present for Mum to go with the planned one; a hand made glass vase. I bought my auntie Martine a lovely candle holder. We bought some cheeses, some bread and curries for lunch from our little Thai lady. Nice!

Christmas telly has begun! Gremlins was on. It can't be Christmas until they've shown Gremlins. Love that movie. And Twins was on, which is rubbish except for the scene in the motel room where Arnie is half naked. Oh my God he still does it for me.

We have more food than two people could eat. Luckily I count as 2 myself so with Jim I'll have it sorted by the end of Christmas Day!

Thanks to the Great Cock Hunt for this Christmas cheer

And now "thanks" to Bryn for tagging me with this...

The rules:

1. The player with this game starts with "3 wishes he/she would love to get for Christmas" and also has a list of "3 wishes he/she definitely does not want for Christmas"

2. Then he/she tags 5 friends and list their names.

3. The ones who get tagged need to write on their blogs about their Christmas wishes, as well as state this rules clearly, then tag 5 more victims.

4. And the ones who tag need to leave a comment that says, "You've been Christmas tagged!" in their comments and tell them to read your blog.

My Wishes

1. To have the dedication to make myself look good for Jim next year. Clothes, body and mind.

2. For everyone, everywhere (even all those who have annoyed and upset me this year) to have a peaceful, fun and safe (ish don't wanna be boring now do we???) Christmas.

3. To find a way to match up my interests and a job. This is my deepest wish and given that my interests are obscure (cryptozoology anyone?) it's unlikely.

My Non-wishes

1. To lose Jim

2. To have to move from Greenwich. Fingers crossed for me.

3. To still be doing customer service this time next year. Truely it has broken me. I swear (ashamed, I am). I hate. I feel homicidal. Must move on.

Victims

Everyone who has received a Christmas greeting from me on their blog. Ner

Technorati : Christmas, Greenwich

My Gifts To You

Dear Constant Reader, I have failed you! Today I received an email which complained about the lack of pics recently. I hadn't even noticed. I'm so sorry. I beg you forgiveness and submit the following for your consideration.

Philip Olivier - That boy has the perfect... everything! He just makes me feel dirty. In a very good way

Jensen Ackles Makes Me Hot. My Man of The Year Award is going to him. Just thought I'd let you know.

Charles Dera Is A Very Naughty Boy. I'm sorry but this man turns me on so much. He is the personification of animal attraction.

We Have Bush. I Repeat... We Have Bush. Don't you just wanna pull those sheets down a little further? And those lips are just begging to for a kiss.

As most people will be beginning their Christmas Internet Hibernation may I just say Merry Christmas! Have a brilliant time!

Christmas Cheer

Ok... Just had an email from a customer accusing me of not being able to spell (there was no spelling mistake in my email!) and of stealing her money (because she received a receipt for her payment she thinks we've charged her twice. Stupid). Don't they know it's Christmas time at all?

Went to the Vauxhall DHL depot to collect a parcel for Jim. It was a bit of an ordeal (the entrance gate was too short for me which was fun, and I had to put up with probing questions about why I was picking up Jim's parcel) but I got it. As I left some guy started off on one about the fact no one told him he needed ID to pick up his parcel. People really are DUMB. Could you imagine the fuss he'd kick up if they gave his parcel to someone else! IDIOT.

On the way out I did impress the gate house people by resting my parcel on the top of the gate, squeezing through and collecting the parcel from the top on the other side. I don't think they'd ever seen anyone do that before.

And I don't think Jim is in a very good mood with me.

And I can't sleep.

I cannot wait to get home tonight. :(

Homomojo

Nick, of all people, pointed out Homomojo to me the other day.

It ain't that bad. Check it out.

Respect

I walk up to the little Delice De France I use for my occassional Pain Au Chocolat needs this morning and join the queue. The little lady is serving someone when she looks up and sees me. She smiles sweetly and while distracting the person she is serving I see her reach for the pain au chocolat. I knew what she intended to do straight away. Before I knew I had been forceably queue jumped and was wandering off with my breakfast followed by the evil eyes of the rest of the queue.

I was kind of pleased that she treated me with such respect, but a little sheepish as queue jumping is my last taboo. I feel so ashamed. She forced me to queue jump! But how could I not take the delicious food as she held it out to me?

In other news I do believe that I've had enough of answering customer queries already today and it's not even 9.00am. Hello people... if you wanted some desks for your office by Friday maybe you should have ordered them before today??? Does that not make sense to anyone? Am I just completely insane for believing in forward planning, especially at CHRISTMAS? Does anyone actually know Christmas Day is on Monday? They seem to act as if it isn't.

And if you place an order, and then a few days later receive an invoice don't write in to the company asking them if they have charged you twice. It'll only cause you to receive an email from some sarcastic bastard like me who will take great delight in mocking you. Sadly said amazing sarcasm will go completely over your head.

A Sea Change

I have always been a little self hating. I've always considered myself a little inferior to others, a little uncool, a little imperfect. This has always been my approach to my interactions with others, I will consider them superior to me unless they prove otherwise.

Well this outlook on life isn't working for me. On my daily commute I encounter people who make me look like a genius, who make me look decisive, who make me look bloody awesome.

I always thought people who say "I'm great" or "I love myself" were a little too arrogant and up their own bum. And I've always taken solace in the fact that even when other people screw me over I can say "Well at least I was a nice person and I wasn't arrogant in that encounter". Well fuck that!

I am now prepared to say that there are a lot of people in this world who I am better than. That guy who tried to push in front of me to get to the train. Those two idiots who were hogging the ticket machine during rush hour who weren't even buying a ticket. The stupid people who drive the wrong way down motorways.

And so now rather than put up with these peoples problems (i.e. not make a fuss if someone pushes in front of me or says something offensive) I'm going to change. This morning I told the people hogging the ticket machine to move out of my way. And the guy who tried to push in front of me to get on the train while I was politely letting other people off? Well let's just say he didn't make it onto the train before me. (Elbow. Doom. Nuff said)

I'm 6'9". I have a high IQ. I'm a nice person. I don't have to let people disrespect me. Assertive Jae is here. Screw all the stupid, arrogant, thoughtless bastards of the world.

I'm Not An Arsehole Get Me Out Of Here

Is everyone being an arsehole this week? I have just got to work and took a cursory glance at the customer communiques from last night. I have one phrase spring to mind immediately. "Whinging POMs!"

Why do we have to put up with these creatures who think that being nasty is acceptable behaviour? I'm fairly certain this country has more than it's fair share of sociopaths who are selfish, without any morals and lack any concern for the feelings of others.

My opposition to the death penalty reduces day by day.

In happier news Father Christmas arrives on Sunday! Nice little piece about his Santaness at the Guardian

What's so silly about believing in Father Christmas???

Pray

Let's all hope this is the man.

My God my customers are in a bad mood today! Having a horrible day.

Macrophilia

Firstly: last night I went out to Seven Sisters to hang out with John and Vixie and some of their mates (and some bloke called Elliot... who he? :o) ) Was great to see them all and I was an awesome poker player considering it was my first time, don't you think? 4 hands won in a row! :o) John and Vixie had a Christmas tree with a penguin on top... how cool!!

Now to my main point. I've recently noticed an increase in emails from macrophiles. These are people who LOVE tall people. Being 205cm tall (this blog is going metric because feet and inches really don't mean anything to me!) this means me. I have always got emails from such people, and sometimes even been offered quite large sums of money to have sex with them, beat them up or do many other unmentionable things to them. But I'm now getting about 1 a day.

Now guys I have a boyfriend. I am not going to have sex with you. I am not going to come round your house and let you take pictures of me ducking under your doorway. I sympathise with you, I really do. I'm a bit of a macrophile myself. Nothing turns me on more than a guy taller than me (or those two 213cm Scandinavian guys I saw last year... phwoah...). Email me, by all means. I love chatting with new people. But please do not offer me sex or money unless you are Jensen Ackles. It isn't going to happen. And please do not send me pictures of you looking extremely cute. It makes it painful to say no. ;)

But it is very nice to feel so wanted. :)

Why not check out Big Dons Boys for some pictures of tall guys.

Scrooge Is Alive And Well In Britain Today

Just read this. Loads of people moaning about Christmas. Some even say that political correctness has ruined it and expressed mock fear of offending someone by saying "Merry Christmas".

These people must live dull lives. Every single non Christian person (Muslims and Hindis) I know has a Christmas tree in their house and I don't think you could offend them unless you insulted their mother!

Is it just me or do some people not deserve Christmas?? How can political correctness ruin a celebration that occurs within your own home?? Do you invite people over to your house at Christmas who you feel awkward around or something? If you do you obviously a bit daft.

But hey there's still some nice people around! Like Mark! He's bought me two presents from my wishlist and thus deserves some big hugs! Thank you so much Mark.

And hey Christians seem to be the moaniest people at Christmas (mainly because us secularists stole the holiday they stole from some pagans. They don't like it up 'em, do they now!!). Dark takes on Christmas are part of a tradition! A Christmas Carol isn't a laugh a minute book! Gremlins, The Nightmare Before Christmas etc etc. Keep the Christmas nightmares coming!

A Christmas Do

Hmm... last night out with work was a bit mixed. We spent a few hours after work in the office with nibbles and alcohol. We also opened our secret santa present. I was quite proud that the gift I bought was well used and I was so happy with what I got!

I got two huges packages which when opened revealed a "Bowl 'Em Over" game (miniature bowling) and a Aquadraw Bear!! You can imagine the fun a bear which can be drawn upon could create! Nazi Bear! Super Ninja Bear! Naked Bear! :) Thanks to RJ who was my not so secret Santa (the fact he spent more time playing with my toys than I did was a dead give away!!)

After that we had a limo arrive and rode to Mayfair in style, with alcohol and music. Proper cheesy music too which I would have enjoyed more if the three people at the controls hadn't change the song after each first bar was sounded. Grr....

We ate at the Mamounia Lounge. Ok so it looked nice. It was the kind of place you'd bring a lover or have a double date. Romantic, expensive and a way to show off how cultural you are. However. It had a live Moroccan band who were so loud none of us could hear each other. The service was AWFUL and we'd been there three hours and the desserts hadn't even been served. Maybe some people thought that was done so we could enjoy the atmosphere. No. It was done because the kitchen was SLOW. And starter (Wood Pidgeon) was gorgeous. But my stuffed guinea fowl was slightly burnt, something I didn't notice till I'd nearly finished and had no more Red Berry Jus to cover it in. And the place was so poncey! I mean it was filled with all the Nouveau Rich who I HATE. Come on guys get some class! You might dress right but trust me class is so much more than that.

To top it off I had the misfortune to have to sit next to a couple involved in hideous public displays of affection and opposite a gay guy with a very obvious crush on someone else. I kept looking down the table to the fun end and getting jealous.

So, much to the disgust of my manager, I left early (11.30pm). This was when we had to fight to get our coats back! They'd put my coat (without asking me) onto someone elses jacket as well and said person had lost the ticket. They told me and him we'd have to wait till everyone else had left before getting our coats! See what I mean??? Bad service with no style. Needless to say they gave us our coats before everyone else. I just stood there till they went and got it. :) Being an immovable object has it's advantages.

Considering I'd never been there before I was extremely pleased with myself for finding the tube without knowing where it was and without directions. First try. :)

It's Nearly Christmas

You do not have much time to buy things!

Jae's Wishlist

Mum

Yesterday I went to lunch with my Mum. She had been in Vauxhall on business so I met up with her and went to the Riverside. It was lovely to have my Mum all to myself for an hour. Tomorrow is her 40th (sorry her 20th 21st) birthday.

I can not believe my Mum is 40! God... she sure doesn't act/look 40. It's funny how some people age so quickly, and some people never grow up! Don't get me wrong my Mum is one of the most intelligent and mature people I know. But she still flirted with the bar man at the riverside and still laughs like a teenager.

My Mum and I have always been very close. We grew up together after all. And we've been through tough times. And sometimes I think maybe she doesn't realise just how much I do love her. So Mum, even though you probably don't read this, I love you. I couldn't have got through some of my worst times without you. And if you ever need me I will always be there for you. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

I'm Going Slightly Mad

I work in customer service for an online retailer. This may explain the title.

Let's just go through the process. If you need some goods urgently it's best to check the stock before ordering. Our website provides a stock check on the product information screen which shows the customers an estimated delivery date. It's that simple! Just like Amazon!

But customers can't quite comprehend this. Normally we deal business to business mainly with consumers being a small, annoying but tolerated nuisance. But at the moment the business' are quiet (because it's nearly Christmas!!) And consumers are busily buying gifts on our site (WHY?? We don't sell fun stuff!! "Here you go, have a stapler"). And they are stupid.

All day today I've had calls such "I ordered this yesterday and it still hasn't arrived. It's really urgent and this is simply not good enough. Your company are a bunch of twats." I check the order and find no parcel tracking. I become concerned. I check the product on the website. Stock check: 6 + weeks delivery. I go back to customer and just want to say "Hi. Are you blind? Did your brain get removed at birth? And did your mother not teach you that swearing is bad. Swearing at strangers is even worse. So why don't you piss off?"

But of course I don't. But please people, if you order online, read the stock check! If you really urgently need the item and don't check the stock check you are a dumbass who deserves to have an awful Christmas.

And all consumers are constantly in a bad mood. Grr...

I Haven't Done One Of These In AGES

You Are 60% Boyish and 40% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch. Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes. You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them. You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

Ipswich Serial Killer?

It is becoming increasingly likely that there is a serial killer in operation in Ipswich. They would appear to be preying on working girls (for now) in the areas red light district. Some newspapers have begun to compare this case with that of the Yorkshire Ripper. Peter Sutcliffe... what a vile man.

I just wish that each time someone goes missing the BBC didn't refer to them solely as a "prostitute". We get the point. Time to start remembering that these are women that are dying. People. God speed to the police as they hunt this murderer down.

Technorati Tags: Ipswich, Murder

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas

I had my first Christmas dinner of the year on Saturday. It was the TVW Christmas Do and of course yours truly had been invited to attend.

Jim and I headed down to my parents in the early afternoon and I was quickly roped in to helping put the Christmas tree up. Not really a chore, more an oppurtunity to have some fun. Sadly my sister spent the whole time sulking because I'd told her off for talking back to Mum. I'm a mean big brother.

After that Mum drove me down into Folkestone to the East Cliff Pavillion. Last time I was there was for Eurotunnels Christmas Do 2002. I loitered outside and a few people thought I was the bouncer. I had some fun with that, misdirecting people and such like. Well if they are just going to assume...

Finally Stacey arrived and I gave her a big hug. We went in had a pint at the bar. Despite being exactly 3 minutes late (I keep a close eye on such things) we were the first there. I do believe that no one in Folkestone understands the concept of time. Anyhew... the others quickly arrived, mainly new people I didn't know followed by the old crew who all shouted at me loudly and gave me big hugs which confused the new people. The new people spent the rest of the evening giving me odd looks which said "Who the hell are you???" :) While I was at the bar some petite blonde girl approached me and hugged me. Because I was so in my "TVW" frame of mind I couldn't place her for a moment. It was Becky!! Yes Eurotunnel Becky! I was so pleased to see her.

I got sat at Team C's table who haven't calmed down since I last saw them. Before the starters had been brought out they were already singing (I'm taking some artistic license when I say that) "All I Want For Christmas". It was good to see Stacey though.

Before I'd finished my starter I received a text message. Rob was in the Pavillion with his work! And when I met him at the bar, Olly was there too. Olly was someone I used to walk home from school with as he lived in my street. He also first introduced me to the concept of a soggy biscuit. He corrupted my innocent mind! :)

It was a good night and it was nice to chat with Henry and Rosanna.

Got a taxi home. Weirdest taxi ride of my life. I got in and the taxi driver seemed friendly enough and we drove off. We chatted, he asked me what I did for a living and I told him I worked for an internet company. He said he did too so I asked him what line of business it was. He told me it was a bondage business called Victorian Dover. And so we spent the rest of the journey talking about the ins and outs of bondage. Specifically is it Dominatrixs or Dominatrices as the plural of Dominatrix? Dominatrices loses some of the power of the word...

Sunday after two helpings of breakfast (just like the cats I managed to convince two different people to make me breakfast... mwhahahaha) we headed off to Dorking to go visit Paul and Jane. We had a lovely time with lots of alcohol, food and a trip to their local pub where Jim and Paul were accosted by a rather forward lady while playing pool. :)

Got home about 8pm after a busy weekend. I need a couple of days off to recover from the 20 odd pints of beer and the acres of food consumed. Christmas has arrived!

Technorati Tags: Gay, Technorati Tags: Christmas,Technorati Tags: Folkestone

London Town

Today was a very sad day indeed. It was Nicks last day! Since Nick started he has been one of the few people at work I really don't mind seeing outside of work. Goodbye Nick! I'm just glad you're not going back to America just yet.

So to celebrate his final day we went down to the Beehive after work, had loads to drink there, before JP, Nick and I headed to Soho and a small cafe called Lido where we met two of JPs elusive friends; one was an arsonist (well his lighter was quite distracting so he couldn't have been anything else) and the other was quite cute, kind of like Nathan from QAF UK. Had a nice night.

Supernatural should be ready for download... I can almost smell Jensen Ackles. I actually got so desperate for a Jensen fix that I read some Supernatural slash. Shudder. Women should not be allowed to write gay erotica. They are so crap at it. It was 15 pages of build up followed by a quarter page of vague fumblings. Just not the same!



That boy. He is intoxicating.

Technorati Tags: Jensen Ackles, London

Being Tall

Most of the time I don't really notice being tall. Sure I'm 6'9" but I've always been tall, I feel normal!

But some days I really do feel extra tall! Days like today. I feel so awkward on days like this. Just walking through the doors becomes annoying. Normally I duck under them without even thinking about it. But when I feel like this I get to the door, stop, stare into that dusty place above it that very few people ever get to see (trust me when I come round your house I will always find those dusty places you missed!), and then awkwardly duck under the door. It's all a lot of effort.

Recently I've noticed something worrying. I'm starting to get broader. My shoulders are certainly larger than they used to be (I can remember I used to measure them with my hands and wish they were larger... so I know!!) which is not quite as desirable as you might think. The doors in our flat are quite short and quite slim. I'm approaching the point of actually filling them!

And trains. They are becoming annoying. I don't know whether I'm growing again or something but I am now a couple of inches taller than the crevice that leads to the door (I'm probably now half a foot taller than the doors themselves). This makes for interesting travelling on busy trains. Or on trains with an annoying shortarse blocking my way out of the crevice.

And it's winter. And you all know how I feel about umbrellas.

I've started to notice the staring again. And the whispers behind my back. No I'm not paranoid!

When I was 16 I was about 6'5" and people began to stop me in the street so they could exclaim "God, aren't you tall?". A couple of years later I got to the height where people stopped doing that and instead would just stop whatever they were doing and stare. Even if they were directly in my way. And they often thought I was deaf and say to a mate "Fuck ain't he tall??".

As a self conscious teenager this used to bother me a lot. But as I grew older I stopped even noticing it. It still happened but unless who I was with pointed it out I wouldn't hear or see it. But it's started to bother me again. And it's starting to make me angry. I want to go up to them and scream at them about how I didn't stare at them despite their horrendous looks, so they might want to extend said courtesy to me. And I didn't really want to mention just how fat their were but if we're mentioning the bloody obvious... etc... etc...

I hate days like this. Maybe screaming at someone might make it better... that'd sure put the fear of God into them.

Technorati Tags: Tall

Tornado!

I'm off work sick at the moment and did take a moment this morning to watch the thunder, lightening and dark clouds from the kitchen window as the rain battered against it. Little did I realise that just a few miles away a tornado had touched down. Amazing, glad no one was killed.

I love watching the news after an event like this, suddenly they are terrified that tornados will start striking everywhere and that this winters weather is going to be awful. One BBC reporter said that authorities were remaining alert as they feared "something" might reoccur.

Britain has always had tornados.
One tornado does not a pattern make.

Technorati Tags: tornado

I'm So Sick Of This!

Mary Cheney, the Vice President of the United States' daughter, is pregnant.

The conservatives over there are a bunch of arsewipes (much like our own... :) ).

"Just because you can conceive a child outside a one-woman, one-man marriage doesn't mean it's a good idea," she said. "Love can't replace a mother and a father."

What is it about this whole need to have a mother and a father, otherwise the world will go to pot? I grew up without a father. I have never been in trouble, I have an IQ of 129 and I'm a tolerant individual known for his inability to hurt others without a very, very good reason. I'm not saying that's a result of not having a father (I think whether you have a mother, a father or neither doesn't matter a damn!), I'm saying that not having a father did not stop me from growing up a good, intelligent boy.

What I want to know is what consequences people think not having a father will lead to? I think genes are more important. If two nice people conceive a child that child is likely to be nice even if both parents are absent! Check out Chapter 5 of Freakanomics

Technorati Tags: Gay

Do Not Be Alarmed!

After many months of not being able to, Blogger has deigned to allow me to "upgrade" to Blogger Beta. Goodbye old template! Hello new (temporary!) one.

If the link to your blog has disappeared let me know. If you want me to link to you let me know!

As a former Blogspot Plus (and Blogger Pro one as well... I've always been a sucker for Blogger) subscriber I used to have the option to not have that annoying search bar above my blog. No more. Grr...

Technorati Tags: Blogger Beta

The Ex Gay Movement

A few days ago some guy who I don't know decided to email me this article. Please do not read it if you don't want to be annoyed. I have been annoyed by it so much that I've finally got to write something down to get it off my mind.

"I told you my first boyfriend left me a month after we got together. The last time I saw him, he said something that frightened and hurt me. I was crying a lot but he didn’t seem to be upset at all. Heartbroken, I asked him why he seemed to show no emotion.

“I’ve been out longer than you,” he told me. “I’ve been with lots of guys, and so will you. After you’ve broken up a few times, it won’t hurt anymore.”

I was shocked. This was my father’s unfair stereotype about gays, and here it was coming out of my (now ex) boyfriend’s mouth! I was angry, but as I got deeper into the gay community, I found that most—if not all—of the gay-identified men I met lived according to these words."

OK. I've been around the block a few times (I was such a tart when I was a teenager!). I have NEVER met a single gay guy like that. This leads me to believe that either that statement is erroneous or this guy made some big mistakes in choosing boyfriends. In fact the whole article reads like some mentally disturbed person is writing on their experience of homosexuality. He seems to believe that the gay men he choose to hang around with are representative of "a lot of" or "most" gay men. This seems flawed considering the story he painted above shows his choice of friends and boyfriends leaves a lot to be desired.

"I never met anyone who was in a long-term, exclusive relationship"

Where did hang o ut at? A sauna??? The local cruising ground???? This guy seriously needs to meet some non scene guys. There's a lot of them. I've met at least 3 couples who have been together more than 20 years. And I don't even socialise with other gay men!

Homosexuality seems to work at first because it satisfies the surface desire. Like I said, we developed homosexual attractions and they’re real. Giving in to them feels good. But even when they are satisfied, the deep longing that’s hiding under the attractions is still there, unmet.

My deep longing was to be ina loving relationship with a man (as I find men highly attractive). Once in a relationship with a man who I love and who loves me any longing disappears. Maybe, I know this might sound strange, this guy was longing for something real gay men don't want!

When I was going to an Exodus group one of the first things that really made me rethink my sexuality was a list my group leaders told me to make. Actually, it was two lists. The first one we made was of all the things we found most attractive in other guys. I had a very specific list: it turned me on when guys were muscular, athletic and confident. There were some other things, too.

A couple weeks later they asked me to make another list. This one was of the things I was most insecure about in myself. Again, I made a very exact list. After I finished, we took out my previous list and compared the two. Unknowingly, I had made two nearly identical lists. Almost every feature I looked for in other guys was something I felt bad about in myself.

This gave credibility to the claim my group leaders made—that I had so far rejected—that homosexual attraction in men is rooted in envy. While this idea seemed insulting to me before, it started to make sense. Growing up, I was always insecure in my appearance, performance, and I was very timid around other boys. These things got in the way of my desire to be accepted by them and be one of them, which is a desire every boy has.

One word: narcissist

I just hate ex gays. I wouldn't mind if they just said "Homosexuality wasn't the answer for me". Ex gays seem to think what they feel is how all gay people feel (secretly). Sorry but nobody knows my mind better than me... homosexuality has been the one light in my life during some seriously dark times. It is not based on my need for a father figure. It is not based on some feeling of envy as to how other guys look. I'm 6'9", I'm a bit above that kind of feeling of inadequacy some people harbour. Why would I envy other guys, I don't want to have their bodies (too much hard work!). I want to HAVE their bodies. If you know what I mean. ;op I was accepted by other boys at school. I have friends from school who I still see (or at least should see more often, still sorry about Saturday guys!!)

I think Archbishop Desmond Tutu (the only one in the world who has my total, unwavering respect) says what I want to say best when he said:

"The orientation is a given, not a matter of choice. It would be crazy for someone to choose to be gay, given the homophobia that is present."

And that is what the ex gay movement is about. It's about people wanting to be straight because they are so small minded that they actually care about how people perceive them. They are scared to be themselves because they obviously find themselves quite disgusting. They are envious, bitter and deeply disturbed. I'd be fine with that except for the fact that they are forcing young gay people to attend their courses. THAT IS WRONG!



Oh well... if anyone out there knows an ex gay remember to give them a hug! They need it.

If you want to read a very interesting study on homosexual couples look here

If you want to read the writings of some fellow ex gay watchers see here

If you want to become an ex gay go here. Please leave this blog!

If you want to buy me a Christmas present go here.

Happy St Nicholas Eve

I hope you've all been singing your Sinterklaas-song or Knecht Ruprecht might come and get you! :)

Last night after work I went out with Jim and our friends Paul and Jane. We had a drink in the Thomas Moore, near the Tower of London, before heading to Wapping for dinner at... Il Bordello. As you should know, Dear Constant Reader, this is my favourite restaurant. I felt alarmingly stuffed and quite drunk by the time we fell into the Captain Kidd pub. A nice evening was had by all.

Did feel worse for wear this morning though!

As an early Christmas present to you here is a Sexy Santa Collection! Warning not work safe. And who here wishes the sexy santa guy from Amazon really was Santa??

My "Sinterklass" Wishlist

My Curling Pictures Are Uploaded

After the delay caused by my laptop dying I've uploaded my curling pictures. The best ones (in my opinion!) are on my Flickr.

Because my laptop died I've pretty much lost all my Thailand pictures. I've got about 30 on Flickr and this blog but I took way more than that. :( Oh well.. the rest of my pictures were on my iPod so phew!

No Supernatural this week. :( But did find out Jensen Ackles is 6'1"! Almost normal height...



Watched But I'm A Cheerleader. Today. Forgot how much I like that movie. Eddie Cibrian helps as well...



My Christmas Wishlist

Brilliant! Wonderful Christian Love Strikes Again

As a libertarian I dislike any attempt by the Government to force people to do what they don't want to.

The current proposal is to force people who provide goods and services to end any discrimination against people just because of their sexuality. Not only will this mean Christian charities would have to support homosexuals, it would also mean gay bars and gyms would have to let in hetrosexuals (I don't mind the occasional ones but in large groups they tend to be violent, uncultured yobs, and then it gets left to me to sort out). I'm against it. People shouldn't have to serve homosexuals if they don't want to. That way we'll know to avoid them and also mock them if they try to get services from us (or if we see them in the street).

Now the Christians are obviously against this, you know how they like to ignore the whole goodwill to all men, do unto others as you'd have done unto you etc from the Gospel. Bravo to them I say. Just as long as they realise that the Government should immediately take away all funding for Christian projects (and overtly homosexual ones) and disestablish the Church of England. No more religious education in school. No more state religious schools. No more involvement by religious organisations in our Government. True freedom of conscience! But obviously the Christians will go on about how wrong that would be! Think of the history! They want their cake, and they want to eat it too. They can either have freedom of conscience or they can have a piece of my tax pounds. They have to make a decision.

Oh and all queers should ask everyone they serve if they are Christian or not and obviously act accordingly! ("You want your hair cut? By me? HA! I think not Father")

Christmas is coming and Jae's Wishlist is available. I know I'm cheeky but people have bought me things before... :)

Here's some liberal opposition to the churches from the standpoint of supporting the anti discrimination law.

Bah, Humbug!

It's true... Christmas is fast approaching. I can tell this as suddenly the BBC is reporting depressing, moany news stories about how rubbish Christmas will be. It's going to be tough for retailers, lots of people are going abroad to avoid a British Christmas, and your elderly relatives are likely to die!

I love being British but sometimes I wish everyone in this country would just stop MOANING!

I love this quote:

New Zealander Megan McLennan travelled to Copenhagen a few years ago with a friend, hoping to find the festive spirit in abundance.

"We arrived on 23 December, the last day of its Christmas market.

"Queuing at the tourist information centre to find out what would be open over the festive period, we overheard an American couple in front asking the same question. 'But it's Christmas,' the bemused tourism official said. 'Copenhagen is closed'."

"That became the refrain over the next few days as they wandered empty streets, noses pressed against the windows of shut-up shops, restaurants and galleries.

"The only eateries open were the purveyors of ethnic cuisines, typically being staffed by migrants who more often than not were also a long way from home - and on minimum wages to boot. Our Christmas Day lunch was falafels at a kebab house. "

You mean to tell me that the Danish wanted to NOT WORK, STAY HOME WITH THEIR FAMILIES AND HAVE FUN AT CHRISTMAS??? Shocking stuff!

Consumer culture, that's what is killing Christmas! Note to all people: when you moan about places being closed on Christmas Day what you are actually saying is "Someone has the audacity to want a day off and not serve my every whim and desire".

And I love the things people quote as why they hate Christmas:

Christmas arguing. If you argue at Christmas, the one time of the year you really shouldn't, your relationship is in need of some TLC. If it's a tradition then YOU NEED TO MOVE ON!

Stressful shopping. I hate shopping. All year round it stresses me out. That's why I shop online and I shop early (I have only one present left to get). Stressful? Only if you're stupid. And there's a news story at the moment about problems getting deliveries... I work full time, so I send the goods to my work rather than my home. Sensible? YES!

Bad television. 1) is this that important? and 2) Let's think about this for a moment. Christmas editions of Fools and Horses and Doctor Who have been amazingly popular. Movie premieres (notable example being Jurassic Park back in the day) make the day great. Christmas movies offer the best nostalgia available through the gogglebox.

Cold weather. what do you expect? It's the frigging winter! Stay indoors with a warm drink, the heating on full and a good book/person in your lap. Lovely.

So here's what I say... if you don't like Christmas either leave the country or shut up. It's here. It's staying. Get used to it!

As you can probably tell from this I've got the Christmas Spirit upon me. My Christmas playlist on my iPod has started to be played once more (after a year of me longing to open it), my Christmas dog at work has been switched on and barked his first rendition of I Wish You A Merry Christmas and my Christmas shopping has started to arrive. I'm quite jealous of what I've bought the person I picked in my works secret santa. I might get one! :)

Speaking of presents: here's my Christmas Wishlist.

To Smoke Or Not To Smoke

I am a non smoker. And after spending a weekend in smoke free Scotland I have to say... I love being in bars where smoking is banned! The experience is so pleasant. No more horrid smells. No more coughing. No more annoyance as someones second smoke keeps blowing into my face.

So although my libertarian mind says "It's bad to ban smoking", my heart looks forward to the ban that will come into force on 1st July 2007.

Channing Tatum is on the front of this months AXM and my God isn't that boy gorgeous!!



The Worlds Strongest Man is on at the mo. This is the kind of sport I like!!

Today is Worlds Aids Day. Please remember to give to the Terrence Higgins Trust.

Real Men Take It Up The Arse

I watched Another Gay Movie last night. Sure it was childish. Sure the humour was puerile. Sure some of the acting was bad. But it was one of the most enjoyable movies I've seen for a long time. I think Jim liked it even more than that!! It's based roughly on the plot of American Pie but has 4 gay guys determined to lose their virginity before the end of the summer. There's no Stiffler this time. Far better than that there is Muffler, a bull dyke with attitude. And Mufflers grandad!

The guys are hot, the humour just keeps on coming and the unrated version has plenty of cock and bum fun to keep everyone happy!



I implore you to buy it and enjoy!!

My laptop went bye bye last night and I lost all my photos, writings and (most importantly) all my delicious porn. SOB! But Jim came to the rescue, installed a new hard drive and today fixed the power cord as well. I love my gay nerd boyfriend, with a deep passion.

Stacey Lady had a baby called Gracie today!

Afraid To Fly?

I remember my first flight. It was 1996, I was just 13 and I was off to my grandparents villa in Spain. I loved everything about it, the security checks, the departure lounge, the plane, the flight and the sudden arrival in a country filled with foreigners.

My next flight after that wasn't until 2004 and it was to Prague. The flight was good and I was only slightly tense. Since then things have deteriotated to the point that this weekends flights were just horrid. I was terrified. Really, really nervous. I've flown over 20 times in the last two years and each flight makes me ever more afraid of flying. I don't quite understand why. Surely my experience of flying (and not dying) should reassure me? But no... I love flying, yet being in a plane makes me feel ill. :(

This story makes my head hurt. I'm torn between two different positions. As a libertarian I think our laws regarding third party arbitration are wonderful. People should be able to choose who they want to arbitrate their disputes, and still have the High Courts as a backup in case one party is reluctant to agree to third party arbitration. But I have my reservations. I think it would be very possible that families might pressure some people to go in for a Sharia decision making process when they might not want to. The fact that some families are pretty good at forcing "loved ones" into marrying against their will kind of backs me up on this.

If someone was coerced into such a binding third party agreement it would completely undermine our legal system. I believe it is better for one law for all, even if that does mean more red tape and more money.

I Feel Pretty

I'm BACK! Oh yes, I have returned from Lochgoilhead and have had a fab weekend.

Jim and I arrived at Glasgow Airport on Friday and met up with most of the curling team, plus a new addition Zoe, and headed for Lochgoilhead. It was very strange. I haven't seen any of them since last year, and that was the first time I met them, but it all felt so comfortable as we settled down in the Blue Room for drinks. Many, many drinks were had. Dinner was quite a source of amusement. One of the starters was "chilled fruit". If you can guess what was served I will buy something from your Amazon wishlist for you! Most of us were pretty zonked so hit the sack early, that is after the last lot had arrived with another new addition: JD.

Saturday and breakfast was GORGEOUS. So much... and nobody seemed to like their black puddings so more for me and Jim. Yum. 10am and it was time for the first game of curling. This year Mike the trainer left us alone as he kinda trusted us and after Jim gave a brief demonstration as a fresher (and minimal training for Zoe and JD) we were off. My team was Andy, Zoe and I. We lost both our games on Saturday. :( But I did enjoy the curling more and felt a lot more confident.

Saturday night was the dinner dance and it was cool. JD had quickly established himself as the life and soul of the party. He decided he was bored and so after dancing with every woman in the room, befriending everybody else and generally being a socialite he bought us all a round of shots. And another. And another. Jim decided to end this malarky. By buying us all a flatliner. I believe most of us suffered second degree internal burns. OUCH!

Sunday. We WON a game of curling. In style no less... Both my final stones of the final end ended dead centre of the head. Woo... Sunday afternoon was really quiet and I went for a walk round the loch.

Sunday evening... nice dinner (venison... yum!) and more drinks. Thought we had a ghost in our lodge but we soon found out it was just the banging of an external door. Eagle 2 was the gay lodge this year with Jim, Alistair and JD. Luckily we had a straight guy over or we probably would have never got to sleep that night. Ok... maybe it was just me who wouldn't have slept!

Really good weekend... looking forward to next year already!

Pictures, longer discussion and stuff to follow...

Jae Kay Is Away

I'm off to Scotland in the morning. While I'm away why not visit my tenant? They are quite entertaining. After you've all done that enjoy my pictures!

My Guys Will Always Be Sexier Than Jenikas



Mmm...



Buffy was just the luckiest girl in the world!





And Heath Ledger is the luckiest man to have got to make out (even if it was fake) with Jake Gyllenhaal...



Do I perhaps like Jensen Ackles? Maybe I do... Maybe I don't... Yeah I do!



Thanks Male and Beautiful



If there was a nuclear holocaust I know I wouldn't mind being left in Brad Beyers town... see Jericho

And now a trip down memory lane to one of the finest arses ever seen on music television...

Remember Sparkly Jae?

Me neither!

But he did exist in 2003 up till November anyway... check out a month in the life of Sparkly Jae. I love reading my archives, remembering things and people and stuff.

OH MY GOD. All the things I've forgotten! Who would have thought little Jae would have stood up to some homophobes?

I have one question about it all. I was going out pretty much every night. I was more than £2000 in debt, not including my overdraft. I was earning half of what I earn now.

How did I afford it???? I can't honestly remember. And just how many men did I go out on dates with or perve over???? You would never find me perving over men anymore. Oh no... not me...

If you can tell me which boyfriend the below songs reminds me of (it was "our" song) I'll give you a prize (prize to be considered).



I'd like to make a complaint about my current life situation. I've got everything that I used to long for in my old blog posts before I met Jim. I haven't been properly depressed in a very long time. I can't complain about parents, dates, singleness, or anything. Where's the writing opportunity in being content! Grr... ;op

Remember: Please give to the Terence Higgins Trust before World AIDS Day



Happy Thanksgiving to all Americans!

Victoria Wood

Oh My God! I can remember watching this with my Nan when I was much younger and blushing all the way through this song.

Be A Thai

Today I've been overcome with longing to return to Thailand. I don't want to go back forever... just a couple of weeks. Enough time so I can stuff all the good bits (the people, the places, the bars, and the go go boys) into my suitcase and smuggle them back to Britain.



For a look back on my trip to the wonderful Thai kingdom check out the following posts..

Thailand Part 1

Thailand Part 2

Thailand Part 3

Can Someone Explain It To Me?

Ok. So the Israeli supreme court has ordered Israel to recognise gay marriages from abroad. I'm not a big fan of marriage but hey if it exists we want a bit of those tax breaks!

But I don't understand the following:

'Moshe Gafni, an ultra-Orthodox lawmaker, said:"We don't have a Jewish state here. We have Sodom and Gomorrah here."

He told Israel's Army Radio: "I assume that every sane person in the state of Israel, possibly the entire Jewish world, is shocked, because the significance is ... the destruction of the family unit in the state of Israel."'

How will it do that? Explain! Two men, who weren't going to form a hetrosexual family unit anyway, form their own one instead. How does this destroy the existing ones or stop other hetrosexual family units (such a romantic term he chose, "family unit" makes it sound like some kind of manufacturing process... I digress...) from being created?

If you know the answer let me know.

Anyhew. Thank you Israeli Supreme Court Judges, I salute you!

Technorati tags: Israel, Gay Marriage

One Week Off!

Oh yes people today was my last day at work for seven days!! I am so happy. I haven't looked forward to time off this much before. So what are my plans?

Tomorrow I'll be relaxing, watching movies and waiting for a parcel to arrive. A parcel I hear you ask? It's boring stationary, but it's coming from my company so I'll see just how good/awesome/truly wonderful our delivery service is.

After that my Mum might visit and then on Friday I'm off to Scotland for a weekend of curling.



From today until World AIDS Day I will be displaying the above banner. Please visit the THT website and donate if you can afford to.

Will try to tidy this blogs sidebar up this week!

Jae's Type

I've always claimed I don't have a type when it comes to men.... I lied.



Tom Welling.



Vernon Kay



Jared Padalecki



Tom Welling... Again.

Vertigo 42

Last night involved a trip in a lift that went a very long way up. :(

As our accounts manager was leaving we had booked some standing room at Vertigo 42 (which is on the 42 second floor of Tower 42, which used to be the Natwest Tower).

Entering the lobby I got the impression of faded glory. It had airport like security, but it all seemed very early nineties. We got to the lift and I prepared myself for one of my least favourite thing... but it wasn't too bad. Sarina held my hand all the way.

Vertigo 42 was less a bar and more a glorified corridor with a wall on one side and a 183m drop on the other. The staff were friendly and the champagne flowed (too much in my case). It was a tad dull but there was plenty of conversation.

I was outted to the few remaining people who didn't know I was gay at work (the blind, the deaf and the new).

It was an okay night... ended by a pinch on the bum in the lift down, loitering outside Tower 42 and then a walk to Bank Station holding Kallies hand. Yeah.. I was drunk...

Just When You Thought The Human Race Couldn't Get Any Worse...

Two girls fall out at school. What would you expect the parents reaction to be?

In ideal circumstances you'd expect them to get together and try to sort something out as best they could amicably.

Perhaps they might blame the other girl, and thus each other, and fall out.

Would you expect the following??

A couple were murdered in an arson attack on their home over a school bullying row involving their daughter, Manchester Crown Court has heard.

Maureen Cochrane, 45, and her husband Alex, 54, were killed in the fire in Wythenshawe, Manchester, in January, but their daughter Lucy, 16, survived.

The court heard Connor was egged on by his ex-wife Jane, 40, and daughter Natalie after playground rows between the two girls developed into a "campaign of harassment" by the Connors.

The jury was told Natalie Connor had fallen out with Lucy Cochrane when the girls were pupils at Newall Green School in 2005.

So your daughter falls out with a girl at school, your ex (!) wife thinks you should burn down the other girls house. You do it.

Which of the following are you?

1) a really, really stupid person
2) a really, really evil bastard
3) a piss poor excuse of a man who lets his ex (!) wife make decisions for him
4) all of the above?

See the full story here

Play Along At Home

www.lost.eu/588e Click it... you know you want to...

Let's Talk About Me

You know we haven't spoken in a while Dear Constant Reader. Yes, blogging is an exercise in navel gazing and self indulgence. But I haven't been doing nearly as much of that as I used to. Maybe it's because I've been blogging for so long I've got very bored of me, me, me. Nah... that'll never happen!

Sooo... I'm off to Lochgoilhead for some curling fun the weekend after next. I'm really looking forward to it. No not to the curling (imagine lawn bowls on ice with broomsticks), although that's not awful, but for the beauty of that part of Scotland, the peace and quiet and the good fun I can expect to have with the people I'm going with and the hideous amounts of alcohol that I will consume.

This Friday I'm off out with work to some place... the name of which hasn't been divulged to me yet. We've been told it's dress to impress though. You should know how I feel about dress codes... they are intended to keep out the interesting people and leave only the boring people pretending to have fun. I'm sure our companies prescence will change that. But give me a good boozer like our local* any day.

Christmas is coming and it's time to start buying presents. If you find yourself unsure what to buy someone it might be best if you just send them a card... and buy me something... ;op But seriously I must start buying presents. I think getting the Family Guy game for my brother George is a good idea from Jim. But everyone else? Hmm...

My budget for the month is going ok. This is very good. Must try harder though if I want to seriously save up.

Work... it's going to get more stressful, but a lot more interesting, in the next few months. No rest for the wicked. Nor Jae.

So how are you guys?

*Our local: is quite weird. From the outside it looks like any old pub, even though it is set down a quiet street in Greenwich hidden among large houses. Inside... it feels like you've entered someones living room. It's all very cosy if slightly disconcerting... It does do some wonderful food though. And it's got a fairly unique range of lagers and ales. None of your Stella or Fosters there...

Jae Salutes The Rainbow Nation

Dearest South Africa. We love you. First you gave us Nelson Mandela. Then Archbishop Tutu (is he possibly the best Christian alive today?). And now you have lead the way in Africa by legalising gay marriage.

Cardinal Wilfrid Napier, president of the South African Catholic Bishops' Conference, said the bill would be a blow against democracy.

"The impression we got is that there is overwhelming opposition to this bill from people throughout South Africa," he told South Africa's Daily News before the vote.

African Christian Democratic Party leader Reverend Kenneth Meshoe told MPs that those who voted for same-sex marriages would face divine wrath.

Democracy is ok. But trust me it isn't perfect, and we must always be wary of the tyranny of the majority. If there was an overwealming majority in one country against Catholicism is he saying it'd be okay to ban Catholic wedding ceremonies?

And divine wrath??? God likes wrath but it really is up to him. Stop threatening things like that when it isn't up to you! I hate people taking their God's name and using him to threaten others.

It's Bona To Vada Your Dolly Eeks

What Has Jae Been Watching?

So we have:

The latest episode of Battlestar Galactica "A Measure of Salvation". It was, as always, very good. Helo, my current sci fi beau, was his usual heroic, moral self. I do like a man in uniform.



Abominable: A Bigfoot movie. It's actually a pretty good B movie. The acting is certainly above par, Lance Henriksen is in it but it's let down a lot by the truely awful costume. I mean... really bad!!

This represents a sympton of my current obsession... sasquatch!! I've been reading up on some eyewitness accounts on Bigfoot Encounters. It's pretty convincing, if slightly worrying, stuff. Check it out.

Torchwoods last episode was "Cyberwoman". Not bad, but each week the acting seems to get slightly worse.

Tonight I think I shall watch the latest Supernatural, so I can get my Jensen Ackles fix.



I used to sit next to someone who looked exactly like him in history class. I'm kicking myself as we speak...

We Remember

DULCE ET DECORUM EST - Wifred Owen

Bent double, like old beggars under sacks,
Knock-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge,
Till on the haunting flares we turned our backs
And towards our distant rest began to trudge.
Men marched asleep. Many had lost their boots
But limped on, blood-shod. All went lame; all blind;
Drunk with fatigue; deaf even to the hoots
Of tired, outstripped Five-Nines that dropped behind.

Gas! GAS! Quick, boys! An ecstasy of fumbling,
Fitting the clumsy helmets just in time;
But someone still was yelling out and stumbling,
And flound'ring like a man in fire or lime . . .
Dim, through the misty panes and thick green light,
As under a green sea, I saw him drowning.

In all my dreams, before my helpless sight,
He plunges at me, guttering, choking, drowning.

If in some smothering dreams you too could pace
Behind the wagon that we flung him in,
And watch the white eyes writhing in his face,
His hanging face, like a devil's sick of sin;
If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood
Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs,
Obscene as cancer, bitter as the cud
Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues -
My friend, you would not tell with such high zest
To children ardent for some desperate glory,
The old Lie: Dulce et decorum est
Pro patria mori.*

*"It is sweet and meet to die for one's country."