My God, I'm Loaded!

I'm the 245,669,566richest person on earth! Discover how rich you are! >>

That's the top 4.09% for those counting. That I could believe, there's a lot of poor people in the developing world...

But... According to Channel 4's Rich-o-Meter I'm in the top 20% in the country!! 80% of the population earn less than I do. Considering I don't feel like I earn that much I'm fairly shocked. I can't make my wages last the month... how can these other people survive???

So in an effort to try to make my "massive" wealth go further I've decided to make sure I cut every corner to save. Right now I'm subscribing to my fave magazines and banning myself from buying any others. This will stop me going to W H Smiths and buying an overpriced mag, a sweet and a drink like I tend to do. No more newspapers... I can get the Guardian online for free! Oyster, Travelcards, Oyster...

So if I don't make it to the end of the month without having to borrow money from the Bank of Jim or the Bank of Mum I shall have to forfeit all Diet Coke for the month of August...

Why not check out my current tenant Newfie Girl... you'll love her.

Technorati : poverty., wealth

Nature or Nurture: Does It Really Matter To The Gay Rights Debate?

Yet another news story came out yesterday stating that some scientists believe that homosexuality might be biologically determined. Now of course any study into something we're not sure about is welcome, it's part of the human experience to be curious about the unknown.

But does the cause of homosexuality really have a bearing on our pleas for equality? I personally don't think so. My freedom as an individual to do whatever I like with my body as long it doesn't harm anyone, and it's completely consensual, is paramount. Who I choose to love is irrelevant to the Government or society in general. I'm bored of people using the nature versus nurture debate in arguments over gay rights and freedoms. The following part of the BBC article is what really pissed me off.

Andy Forrest, a spokesman for gay rights group Stonewall, said: Increasingly, credible evidence appears to indicate that being gay is genetically determined rather than being a so-called lifestyle choice.

It adds further weight to the argument that lesbian and gay people should be treated equally in society and not discriminated against for something that's just as inherent as skin colour

OK.... so what you're saying there is if being gay is just a unique character trait somehow our fight to be treated equally is hurt? What the Hell? If our argument for being treated like any other human being relies in whole, or in part, on whether we're "natural" *scoff* or not we might as well give up. Not exactly taking the moral high ground, more a hopeless crotch for a losing point of view.

We deserve to be treated equally because we are human beings who are doing nothing wrong. We are not, as a group, hellbent on the destruction of the planet. We are not paedophiles. We are not in the business of recruiting (no matter how much we might joke we are!). We are just like everybody else. Some of us are fucking bastards and some of us are not. Strange, gay men are just the same as everyone else... we're all unique and different!

Now you can quote that being gay is unhealthy (what's that got to do with you? I believe in health insurance, if we pay our way get over it!), is likely to lead to mental problems (more likely the mental problems are caused by bigotry, real or perceived), and is not right by the Bible (trust me there's a lot of prohibited things in there that no one seems to worry about, read it and see! And what has your Bible got to do with me?) but I stand firm behind my beliefs... homosexuality, whether it's a choice, a reality or an illusion, should not be a basis for discrimination.

Technorati : gay rights, homosexuality, news

Italy Win

BBC story Which gives me an excuse (as if I needed one) to post this.



All the things I could do...

Footie At The Gay Bar

Yesterday afternoon Jim and I went to watch the England match at Ye Olde Rose and Crown. It was quite quiet with a mob of chavvy girls and a mob of lesbians making up half the bars inhabitants. I attempted to stay awake throughout, and just about managed it thanks to the delightful arse of a tall German guy standing behind Jim. England v. Ecuador was the first game I've seen this World Cup and we were rubbish.

Afterwards went to one of the food stalls at the market for a curry. The stall we go to is just next to NatWest and is staffed by a friendly Thai lady who quickly sorted us out with delicious food. The stuff from there really is divine. Just another good thing about Greenwich.

Watched Nightmare on Elm Street last night. I love that movie. Johnny Depp is so hot! Men should be banned from wearing t shirts which show off their stomach... it's distracting. Today is day 1 of our no computer use after 7pm rule. GOD SAVE ME!!

Napola

A movie about comradeship at a school for the Nazi elite

Jun 25, 2006 by Jae url NaPolA

This is the third German movie I've seen this year. And all three have being impressively good.

The story is about a boy, Friedrich Weimer played by the delicious Max Riemelt, whose boxing abilities get him into the NaPolA against his parents wishes. At this prestigious school he befriends the son of a Gauleiter, Albrecht Stein played by Tom Schilling, who doesn't share his enthusiasm for Nazism.

Over time, under the strict conditions of the school and the harsh realities of the war, Friedrich comes to recognise Albrecht was right to be hesitant... but he comes to this realisation only after a tragedy...

A story of friendship flourishing in the harsh surroundings of fascism. Touching, well acted and features a few nice backsides as well. Perfection.

Technorati : germany, movies, napola

Greenwich = Heaven

Yesterday Jim and I headed to Greenwich Park to feed the squirrels (almonds no less... they couldn't get enough) and have a nice wander. In the summer Greenwich Park is the place to go in London. It's so gorgeous, with an amazing backdrop of Canary Wharf and the Queens House. Love it. Walking past all the tourists I felt a little sorry for them. They don't get to live here after all.

We had a pint of Staropramen in the Nags Head and lunch at Vietnam. Wandered home round the Cutty Sark which is looking more worse for wear every time I see it.

Doctor Who last night. I wanted to like the episode. The Tenth Doctor is awesome. Rose is brilliant. The story concept was promising. I just couldn't like it. I feel like the writers have all got lost up their own arses. There's something about the episodes recently that puts me off... But next week... Cybermen, Torchwood, Daleks?, the departure of Rose begins and it's the opening shot in the closing two parter of series two.

Please God let the next companion be overly muscled and totally gay. PLEASE! Or bring back Captain Jack...

Commander in Chief got cancelled. :(

No more Matt Lanter. :(

Technorati : commander in chief, doctor who, greenwich

It's Saturday!

NICE!

Thank the Gods! Jim is home, work is finished and no customers to deal with for two whole days. Having been in customer service for 4 years now (4 YEARS!) I've had quite enough of dealing with the STUPID British public. Example: "This item says it's available next business day, does that mean I'd get it delivered on the next business day?".

Example 2: "I need to know how much a product is. Can I give you a product code?" "Of course sir, but may I just ask where you got the code from?" "It's on the website just to the left of the price".

I REST MY CASE... weekends are bliss.

They Say The Meek Shall Inherit

Oh Joy! I got home today to find another parcel waiting for me! Thanks this time to one of my bestest friends, and long time reader, Zoe. She bought me Twelve Days of Terror from my wishlist. Thank you Zoe, miss you too!

Last night I went out with John, his girlfriend and Elliot. I've missed them. God these days I miss everything and everybody! I need a giant reunion for everyone I've ever known!!! It was cool. We met up in Covent Garden (after I foolishly used the stairs at the tube station... WOW... who knew the underground was that far.... underground) and after wandering around and around in search of the Roadhouse and free beer we gave up and settled into the Nags Head. After a few pints I decided John's girlfriend was the coolest person I'd met all month..

1) she is friends with Toby, the baby from the Labyrinth

2) she designs fetish gear

3) she spent Tuesday watching Skinflick by Bruce La Bruce, a gay porn movie!

The defence rests.

Got home by dodging tramps and beggars and misdirecting a ferociously gorgeous German who was trying to find Elmstead Woods. I couldn't concentrate... he was too beguiling... so I have little doubt that he's now trapped in Sidcup or somewhere equally strange. Sorry to him and all the tramps I haven't given money to.

Technorati : covent garden

Life Is Good... ish

I headed home yesterday after work suffering from severe after work
blues and thinking about getting home to an empty house without Jim
yet again. Depressing.

But what I found when I got home was more than enough to cheer me up.
First off on the side downstairs was a birthday card from the FAB
Stacey Lady. I love Stacey, and miss her terribly. She now has a bump
as well which shall soon become a mini Stacey which shall be scary.
Smiling I wandered upstairs to the flat to find a parcel waiting for
me from Amazon. Hmm... I thought to myself... what is this??

It turns out it contained Stephen Kings "The Bachman Books", the Peter
Benchley novel dramatisation "The Creature" and "The Deep Blue Sea".
All sent to me by one of my favourite readers... Luke. So a big shout
out to Luke and love and kisses and nice things of all sorts. And to
the rest of you, Dear Constant Readers, GO SEE MY WISH LIST and send
me stuff just like Luke. I shall love you forever
;o)

Today is the Summer Solstice, the longest day of the year! I'm heading
off to Covent Garden tonight to see John and his girlfriend. Should be
a laugh.

Miss Jim :o( Also miss Bangkok, San Francisco and Prague. :o(

Hard Candy

After the kids left on Sunday Jim and I headed to the cinema (I'm telling you it's an unintended birthday tradition) to see Hard Candy. Great movie. Really thought provoking and great role reversal of the stereotypical victim/predator relationship. Patrick Wilson is yummy. Ellen Page was brilliant.

After the cinema we had a lovely meal on the terrace of the Cafe Rouge watching Greenwich go by.

As of next Saturday Jim and I have agreed to stay off the computers for one week excluding use at work. So I shall still be blogging but my posts shall be short (and let's hope sweet). Jim is away again from Tuesday (off in Ireland) so if anyone wants to meet up for some drinks let me know, I need to get away from my work crowd based social life.

Last night I went out with some people from my department for drinks and Italian in South Kensington. It was a lovely evening.

Technorati : hard candy, movies

Birthdays - Past

It's my third 21st birthday today! And given the fact it's a celebration all about me let's look at some memorable birthdays of old...

My 6th birthday. It's the first birthday I remember, living in Snodland with my Mum, shitface and a million animals. Pictures of said event must be destroyed if found as I look like the campest boy (blonde, slim and limpest wrists ever) in the world!

My 7th birthday. I invited everyone I knew. I also decided that it was my birthday and I could make other people cry if I wanted to. And did... our neighbour Amy was the victim of my over excited use of party poppers (in the days when I didn't know about the real poppers!). Dressed in startingly red and green striped t shirt/shorts combo. Pictures of this have all been destroyed for the good of all.

My 10th birthday was held in a monastery. Ok.. so it was where I lived... converted into flats you see! Sellindge... wonders will never cease...

My 13th birthday was held in a mansion called Belmont... much to my delight there was a secret bookcase/door which lead to a spooky deserted part of the house. It was my home for the summer. As I wandered down the stairs that morning I was telling Mum that I would be happy with any present but a television... I think, based on my ability to put my foot in it a lot, you can guess what she'd bought me that year. Whoops. Spent much of the day in my room sulking, cept I do remember a bizarre incident involving a game of golf and an exploding golf ball (twas Fathers Day as well you see...)

My 15th Birthday. I was doing work experience at SAGA and I'd had a lovely day. The guys there had all bought me cards and chocolates which was very thoughtful considering I was only there two weeks! I wandered home and ended up walking behind the Sixth Former for 15 minutes. He was my unnamed crush from the Harvey Grammar and it was the last time I'd ever see him. Sweet.

My 16th birthday. I remember Elliot spent much of it looking at porn on my Mac, while John and Matt played on Matt's laptop. Then everyone looked at porn. Straight porn of course. Not one of my more exciting birthdays.

My 18th! I remember it was in Gees and I remember a table covered in pints of beer all for me (14 pints)... my memory starts to fade after that point...

After that... the posts speak for themselves.

2002 - my first birthday on this blog. 19 years old, working at Eurotunnel, going out with Ste and dreaming about Ben.

2003 - 20 years old. Working at Three Valleys Water, going out with Gareth and dreaming about nothing in particular... life was bliss

2004 - 21. Working at Three Valleys still but far more confident, single and dreaming of escaping to some point unknown

2005 - my second 21st birthday. Just started at EO, now living with Jim in Greenwich and life is the best.

Things that strike me about these posts... I tend to celebrate my birthday on the 17th for some reason and a trip to the cinema seems to occur within days.

Things That Happened

Technorati : birthday

Wild Animals

Today is the last day of my 22nd year. I got 5 cards in the post. I've never had that many cards in the post before. After the kids (minus Ian) arrived we shoved them in the car and drove down to Lympne to see my family. My sister Beth was totally moody seeing me paying attention to children other than her. She wouldn't even kiss me goodbye which made me feel a little sad. Mum got into her "Grandmother" role far too enthusiastically. Trust me... seeing your Mum being Gran is one of the scariest moments of your life. As we left Mum gave me a cheque which she wouldn't let me look at... hmm... a surprise for my birthday...

After that we drove to Port Lympne which is a wild animal park in the village my parents live in. I've been there so many times but it is still one of the best animal attractions in the country that I've been to. Huge paddocks and enclosures for the animals who look (and act) like they are healthy and well looked after. My favourite part has always been the gorilla enclosure (Port Lympne and it's sister park Howletts have the largest captive gorilla population in the world). Port Lympne is home to a beautiful silverback who today we managed to catch sitting right next to the window of the enclosure studying the visitors intently. It was patently obvious that this was a creature with a formidable intelligence. And just so big as well! Loved it. Chiang Mai might of had an edge on quantity of exhibits but Port Lympne is QUALITY.

Doctor Who tonight was a bit trite but I'll give it points for originality. Just not my cup of tea.

Technorati : doctor who, port lympne

Get Grace Out

Ugly bastards aren't they? These homophobic murderers have been jailed for life. Let's hope some well hung monster takes a liking to them. Sorry I'm being flippant about the serious subject of gay rape. Let's hope someone stabs them both in the stomach instead. (for all those dim bleeding heart readers who will start writing comments about how nasty I am... I don't really mean it... I'm too nice, I just like being able to say it on here to get it out of my system).

Once there was a boy who loved his Super Nintendo. He loved his colour Gameboy. He lusted after a N64. And then one day he just stopped liking games consoles, even the beloved Nintendo. The hype about the X Box 360 passed him by. Playstation 3? What that?

And then one day... Wii! I'm in love.

Grace has been evicted. Grace has been evicted. The evil one.... evil! And she's only 20! Glad we nipped her in the bud before she launched her world takeover bid. Goodbye Grace. We won't miss you. Even as she left the house she chucked a glass over Susie. If anyone sees Grace out and about please throw your drink over her. I'll put a "Grace Drenching Expense Form" up tomorrow night so you can be reimbursed for your trouble ;)

Technorati : big brother, homophobia, wii

Billie Piper Leaves Doctor Who

Full story here. I'll admit it... when I first saw Rose Tyler in action I thought "Dear Lord NO!". Something about her didn't sit right with me. But it didn't take me long to warm to her. Rose has been one of the best companions in the shows history. Funny, fun loving, honest, curious, strong willed and naive. Billie Piper was the perfect choice to play her. Rose and Billie will be missed. Long live Doctor Who.

But more shockingly... the poll on the news page for best companion shows only a 4% support for Tegan! THAT IS SCANDALOUS! I loved Tegan. She was one of those unfortunate "reluctant" companions (the ones who accidentally enter the TARDIS thinking it really is a police box) but she quickly became chief companion above Nyssa, Adric, and Turlough. Her no nonsense attitude was a breath of fresh air compared to previous companions... Vote for Tegan!!

I have a sneaking suspicion Rose, Sarah Jane and K9 are only winning because they are the only companions the new generation of fans know!

Technorati : billie piper, doctor who, rose tyler

Jim - Come Home

Today is Liberation Day in the Falkland Islands and our other south Atlantic territories. Hands off Argentina!

This is week three of Jim being away on weekdays. And I miss him so much. Love you Jim!!

5 days till my third 21st birthday.. there's still time for present buying so check out my wishlist. HINT HINT.

I'm back into sci-fi and horror. Currently reading Meg: A Novel Of Deep Terror which is pretty readable and just finished The Long Walk for the fifty millionth time. Love that book. Finished watching the Dalek Invasion of Earth. Saw the Truman Show, which has been one of my fave movies since the first time I saw it. Soon to watch the Thirteenth Floor... Dear Constant Reader... geeky Jae fights back!

Technorati : falkland islands, long walk, meg, movies

Uncommon Commonwealth

Despite my fundamental belief that marriage shouldn't be the business of a state, I'm still perplexed by the very different attitudes of two Commonwealth countries with regards to same sex marriage.

Canada (O Canada, we stand on guard for thee) has really got into the act when it comes to cashing in on gay marriage. I'm glad to see their brains in the right place there.

Australia ( "Who'll come a-Waltzing Matilda, with me?") hasn't quite got the idea yet. The Australian Capital Territory (it's about as big as your back garden) decided the gays could be equal but different (hey it's a step in the right direction huh?) but that was too much for little Mr Howard and the Government... who decided that the union between men and women is too special. Imagine... if you let the gays get married what next? Erm..we do away with state sponsored marriage entirely?? YAY! Vive le revolution.

I love Sam from Big Brother. She is sooo much fun... put her back in the house!

Talking of gay marriage... here's my future husband...

Don't worry Jim. I'm all for polygamy... ;)

Technorati : australia, canada, gay marriage

Doctor Who - I Love You

I was always an early riser as a child... sometimes I'd be up as early as 4am. But I'd never bother my Mum, I'd just head downstairs, make breakfast and watch television. At that time of the morning there was nothing on except infomercials (American ones at that) and television for the under 2 months old child. Sundays in the earlies Nineties were particularly awful... so I often found myself watching Blake's 7 on UK Gold it was... ok. I never really warmed to it. It was followed by Doctor Who.

Being alive in the United Kingdom meant I knew more about Doctor Who than I did about the Bible. This was despite the fact that back then I'd never seen Doctor Who before. In Britain you just know who the Daleks are. The first story I saw was the Keeper of Traken and I was hooked. As in the very next story the Fourth Doctor regenerated into the Fifth, I'm apt to tell people that "my" Doctor was the Fifth Doctor. Everyone has their own Doctor... he's the one that first got them into the show.

Doctor Who was my escape from the mundanities of childhood, and it was a pleasure I didn't have to share; Doctor Who had been cancelled and was slowly being forgotten at the time. I loved it's quirkiness, it's comedy, it's tragedy. It wasn't Shakespeare but it was top notch entertainment.

I was soon reading Virgin New Adventures stories, DWM and buying the videos. I was not the Doctors most obsessive fan. I was, however, heading towards hardcore. Over time I started to do stuff.. get a boyfriend, get a life, and have exams. Doctor Who faded into the background. It was still a love, but it was placed on the back burner. After all, I thought, it wasn't going anywhere... it was finished after all.

Last year it started again and slowly, but surely, my love affair has been rekindled. Even if some of the continuity has been turned on it's head, even if the Doctor and Rose have kissed... it's still the Doctor. Things may change, people might grow old... but the Doctor is always there to take your mind of it. Doctor Who I love you!!

The Tenth Doctor is rapidly overtaking the Seventh Doctor as my all time fave. Even Rose is working her way up my fave companions list... although she's not a patch on my beloved Ace.

Technorati : doctor who, television

To Infinity

Thursday I headed to Wimbledon Park with a couple of people from work to see our office team compete in a Dragonboat race. It was cool, one of the teams consisted of teachers so there was a crowd of hundreds of school kids to create a party atmosphere. We came second from last, which is pretty good considering our team hadn't trained at all. Wimbledon Park is really rather pleasant.

After that we headed (via a journey and a half) to Wimbledon station and a bar named the Terrace which was rather nice. I was complemented on my teeth and my intelligence... all was good. Nice to get to know some of the newer people a little better.

Headed home early Friday morning to find the 24 hour shop was not open. Hmm...

Friday... was a work day but Jim came home from another week away so I was very pleased to see him.

Saturday... after a hellish trip to some shops (stuck in a car park for 40 minutes... nuff said) Jim and I headed to Lympne via a Nan pick up in Snodland. Saw my cousin "Little" Tony. Haven't seen him for a couple of years, and he is now 18 and looks and acts like a man. It was refreshing to see him all grown up. He seemed like he'd become a really nice bloke.

After the match (football? What what?) we had a BBQ and we finally escaped around midnight. Good to see everyone but that house is a little too busy at the mo. I felt bad about leaving though because Beth and George really seemed like they wanted me to stay.

Big Brother. Grace is EVIL. Nikki is ANNOYING. Sam was evicted. Shame on this nation... Nikki is the spawn of some really annoying acolyte of the Devil. She has to go. Pete has got off with Nikki. He is now a marked man in my opinion. And there's a new housemate called Susie... the Golden Housemate. I hope she slaps Grace.

Technorati : big brother, dragonboat

From One Great Country...

God Lord. It must be summer again. It's sunny, I'm having lunches in the park, BBQs are planned, Three Lions is on the radio, St Georges flags are flying from cars (this is akin to a sign saying "Bad Driver, Keep Clear"), and there's a lot of talk about a footballer (summer news is always dull... silly season? I think not, more snooze season).

Being the Brit I am, I'll never understand all the fuss about the footie. It's a really nationalistic sport, and I'm a British patriot... not an English nationalist. But each to their own I suppose. I just wish they wouldn't fly those hideous flags all the time. Get your Union Jacks out!

It's King Bhumibol Adulyadej's Diamond Jubilee today. The Japanese emperor will be there. Queen Beatrix of the Netherlands shall be stopping by. Who does Britain send? Prince Andrew. We could of at least have made a little effort. He is the longest serving Monarch in the world after all.

Hasn't the World Cup come round quickly this time? One minute it was a distant boring prospect in the far distance. The next we have Alastair Campbell acting as if anyone other than some political commentators will care about his views on the games.

Welcome to summer...

Technorati : alastair campbell, bhumibol, thailand, world cup

Waterloo and the Morning Commute

There I was standing in the queue at the little W H Smith's at Waterloo Station minding my own business . Now if we all remember last time I was there (just before Thailand) the man at the counter shocked and surprised me by addressing me by name. Today he spotted me coming and reacted as you would to seeing a long lost friend. He was so excited to see me, asking how I was, whether I was busy and whether I'd be watching the football (not a long lost friend then!). How does he know me? I could understand him being friendly, but knowing my name.... weird!

The Delice De France person is different, he now knows me so well that he has my order ready (a pain au chocolat) and keyed into the checkout before I even reach Waterloo. Mmmm... pain au chocolat.

Last night I went out in Covent Garden to the White Lion, some place with Porter in the name and the Walkabout (classy huh?) with Sam America, Tamara Canada, JP and SA's new beau Gary and his mate Christopher. Was a laugh... but I grew too hungry and left and attacked a defenseless Favorite Chicken fast food shop... They never saw it coming...

Tonight I'm off to Wimbledon to watch the office team race Dragon boats... this will bring me much amusement...

I've pulled Australia out of the hat for my offices World Cup sweapstake. That is my one and only contribution to "World Cup fever"

Odds and Ends

It's the Day Of The Devil today. So I'd like to say a fond farewell should I do and be sent to Hell today (and a big hello as well I spose as you, Dear Constant Reader, will be right there with me!)

If you are feeling a bit reverent (or irreverent) today why not check out the Skeptics Bible (thanks Martian) but I really recommend the Skeptics Book of Mormon. I know I'm sad...

As my first act as a renewed Lib Dem... please support their Anti Homophobic Bullying Campaign by signing their petition

In Big Brother... Richard has earned himself a fresh start by nominating Grace. GRACE. Thank the Lord someone saw sense. Grace is like a cancer in the house, her tendrils spreading out amongst the unsuspecting housemates. Glyn is too naive to realise how bitchy Grace was being about Aisleyne while they were chatting. "She's a dog" Grace hissed at Glyn... Glyn seemed not to notice. I think Grace could grow a large nose with a wart on it, turn green, wear a black witches hat and run around the house screaming about how she was going to kill them all and boil them for breakfast and it'd go straight over most of their little heads.

I'm watching It at the moment and I think Grace is Pennywise, we're the Losers Club (i.e. we can see her for what she is... a monster) and the Housemates are the rest of the town of Derry. Let's kill her before she eats us!!!

Nikki and Sam are up for nomination. Get Nikki out of there.

On a side note... Pete was telling people how he gets upset if he kills a snail or any small creature. I love him.

Jim's away at the mo in Birmingham. I miss him soooo much already.

Technorati : 666, bible, big brother, homophobia

Life and Big Brother

Sunday we used our free tickets to the London Dungeon, given to us by the manager the day before (a kind gesture indeed). I have to say I had a wonderful time. Most of the actors were awesome, and the set pieces funny. Wow... that's far too much life for the week... now for something more important.

No not him...

Big Brother

Is Grace not the bitchiest, nastiest creature to frequent the Big Brother house since all the rest? Can she move more than a metre without uttering a dirty word and a spiteful comment about somebody else? Sezer was bad... but Grace is sooo much worse. Grace must go.

Sam. Poor Sam. She's soooo sweet and somehow she's got in between the two groups (the bitchy ones and the not quite so bitchy ones). Watching the two groups tell each other the awful things Sam said about the other one is quite amusing. But not for Sam bless her.

As Grace shit stirs the rumours... the house falls apart....

Sezer is gone... Richard continues to be soooo condescending and false, Pete is still the cutest (watching him rearrange his package through his shorts last week was a real treat), Lea's breasts seem to grow with each passing moment. Nikki has settled down (thank you Lord for small mercies). Glyn has disappeared (amazing ability in such a small space).

This years BB is certainly the year of the bitchy women. We need more men in there!!!

Technorati : bb7, big brother, pete, sam

Slavery

I started to watch Ken Burns' Civil War before I went to Thailand and finished it last week. I haven't seen it in a long time, and I forgot what a moving, and deeply interesting, documentary series it is. I'll never truly understand people who fought for the right to keep slaves (ok, I know that's a vastly over simplified version of the causes of the Civil War... but hey if you're interested to know the rest see here). How could anyone consider themselves masters over anyone else? But it's a sad fact people did think they could be masters of another group of people. It's a sobering fact that people still do.

When I used to think of slavery the only country I could name that still "allowed" was Niger (it's illegal but not frowned upon). I was naive enough to once believe Britain had been slave free (ish, let's ignore the British Empire for now) since 1834. HA! Obviously in the last few years I've become aware of sex trafficking. And it's becoming increasingly clear people, especially children, are being brought into this country as domestic slaves. DOMESTIC SLAVES IN BRITAIN. If you read the stories at the BBC I think you will be shocked. Slavery in some other country is awful. Slavery in Britain? It must be stopped NOW.

How can we help? Legalise brothels. Regulate them. Undermine the financial incentive to these bastard traffickers. I know some people are shocked by the idea... but some people choose to become sex workers. Letting them do what they want to do will help ensure innocents from abroad need not be tricked/forced into slavery.

Oh I know a lot of people hate the idea of brothels and will fight against it, but right now the situation is appalling. Drastic measures need to be taken.

Tough new sentences need to be introduced for human traffickers, and those who use the services of slaves.

None of that will solve the problem unless as many people as possible... take action

Technorati : slavery

Who'd Have Thought?

Adam Rickett Contests Folkestone Seat. But he isn't the only one... 45 other Tories stand as well

I used to fancy Mr Rickett but he quickly became boring and when I found he'd been acting gay on advice of his managers he really came across as naive and dull. Now he's come out as a Tory... he repulses me. It would be really quite interesting if he did win the Tory nomination and stood at the next election in my home county. Let's not let him win though!

Thursday was bowling night (it's been too long!) which was fun. It was Scott's last which was a shame, he was a brilliant bloke. Noodle bar afterwards was stressful as the other colonials (i.e. not Scott) didn't quite understand the concept of noodle bars.

Today we've got Becka and Ian. We did go to London Dungeon but before we could get inside Ian had some form of very worrying seizure. The scene got even more dramatic when the girl in the queue in front of us fainted, and for one brief moment I had visions of people collapsing all over the place. Other than a bump on the head and a bloody nose he seems psychically okay, but it is very worrying indeed. Let's hope it's just a febrile convulsion. Big thanks go to the wonderful lady in the queue who rushed to our aid and to the manager of London Dungeon for her assistance and the free tickets she gave us.

: adam rickett, bowling, folkestone, michael howard

Tex-Mex

Last night my department went out for a meal to the Texas Embassy, a Tex-Mex restaurant. The food was awesome.. huge portions... we shared a Texas Rose for a starter which is a giant onion, flowered and then deep fried. I was lovely. I had a chicken fajita for my main, which I couldn't finish because there was so much. Really lovely. Then, despite claiming to be full, I managed to fit in a Turtle Cheesecake (cheese? cake??) which was a piece of chocolate heaven. Service was good, decor cool. Not a classy restaurant but certainly a place to go with a group of friends.

My home county Kent was voted off the top spot for most beautiful county in Britain. I so agree. It's beauty is still there but the people make it ugly. Some of the towns (Ramsgate springs to mind) just couldn't give a damn about looking after it's image. And all those London commuters are, like the Londoners who arrived in the mid 20th Century, are ruining the old ways. It's a real shame.

Technorati : kent, tex-mex, texas embassy

Big Brother Update

Deary me... hasn't a lot happened in Big Brother of late? So, since we last discussed this, Dawn was ejected for breaking the rules (using a code to communicate with her sister), then Bonnie was evicted. To replace Shahbaz and Dawn two new housemates arrived... Aisleyne (what a name!) and Sam(uel)antha. Pete continued to look far too gorgeous for words prompting me to consider bidding on a golden ticket just to get a chance to get in the house. Then today... George walked, which is a shame. Not because I liked him that much but because this house is not really being given a chance to stabilise and show us what it's made of.

Aisleyne seems a bit like Grace and Imogen... a bland beauty... YAWN! Sam... I was instantly prepared to hate her but you know what... she seems alright. I'll give her a chance.

Glyn is growing on me. He seems a little dim but his sheer child like glee at the mere thought of breasts makes him quite endearingly sweet. As Ste used to say... awwwww... Bless.

Nikki... good lord. Please let her out before she melts all our brains...

Now if anyone has any pics of Pete looking fab (i.e. no hat) let me have them. He's GORGEOUS.

New housemate must be due shortly to replace George... fingers crossed for someone nice.

Technorati : bb7, big brother, big brother 7, pete

My Current Tenant

Wanna learn some new recipes? Why not check out Wanna Be TV Chef, it looks great and I bet it tastes even better!

Technorati : blogexplosion

United 93

Yesterday I watched United 93 which, unsurprisingly, is all about what happened on United 93 on 9/11 (I wrote that just so that I could fit in those links. I know... I'm obsessed with Wikipedia).

Now I can't say it showed me anything I didn't already know (I'm one of those sad people who owns the 9/11 Commissions Report). But it certainly takes you on an emotional roller-coaster, showing in graphic details those things we had all imagined happened that day, and reminding us of the terror that those on the planes must have experienced. I think the word to describe this movie is "harrowing"; I defy anyone to watch this and not get a lump in their throat or a tear in their eye at least once.

It's an American movie tradition to bad mouth other countries when making historical films (us Brits are an easy target)... and it looks like they even managed to slip some patriotic xenophobia, however small, into this movie!! See Skating on Thin Air. What really annoys me about that is the disrespect to this person... it's really soured the movie for me... I know it's only one person. But he was a real person, with real feelings and with a real family. Based on NO evidence he's made out to be the wimp. Grr... the basis for the movie was exciting/disturbing enough already without the need for too much artistic license. And they used up all their artistic license allowance on fleshing out what we suspect happened (i.e. that which we have at least some evidence for, through cockpit recordings and telephone calls).

Good movie, just marred in my mind by the above.

Technorati : 9/11, movie, united 93

Little Bits And Pieces

Jim's Blog continues to detail our trip to Thailand.

It's my birthday on June 18th. I don't desire much... but everything I do can be found on here. Ok not everything. A Ganesh amulet neckchain would also go down well.

I love the Dildo Song...

Here's a video Jim filmed at the Amsterdam Bar in Ko Samui during their nightly cabaret show.

Amnesty International began it's life today. Join up here and make a difference.

Technorati : amnesty, dhoom dhoom, dildo, ganesh, samui

X-Men : The Last Stand

IMDB



When I first left the cinema I thought "Wow that was good". The Beast rocked. Kitty Pryde was great (brave yet foolhardy just like the comics). Colossus was HOT. I cried when Prof X died, and was proud when the X Men made their stand on Alcatraz to protect Leech and his defenders. With those emotions clouding my judgement I forgot all the bad bits.

Magneto, despite some good scenes, was written for badly. I can't put my finger on it, but the Magneto of the last movie was far better... bad but not truely evil. Only early on in the comics was he truely evil... he soon became a more conflicted character with more depth.

Killing Cyclops and making this a movie about Jean and Logan's love was a major error in my mind, the conflict between Logan and Scott and their constant need to overcome it in the face of a common threat makes the love triangle more complex and real. It was also symptomatic of the movies attempt to cater to the Wolverine cult strong amoung X-Fans. I'm not a big fan of his. He's okay, but Angel was always my fave.

ANGEL... a bit part??? A BIT PART?? SCANDALOUS.

Where was Nightcrawler? Colossus, one of the best comic book heroes of all time in my opinion, needed some more depth... in the film there are only 6 X Men... surely the writer could have fleshed them all out.

The story was kind of weak... could have been so much better.

This movie could of been a lot more. It isn't.

But hey at least you can still read a kind of homosexual undertone into the movie (even if it is unintentional). The Cure... the mutant reaction to it... all very Exodus-esque.

I think my deep hatred for the Ex-Gay movements underlying beliefs can be left to another day. Needless to say... Rogue... HOW COULD YOU???

The final thing was the ending... a big let down. This wasn't helped by the fact the three leaders of the X Men were dead...

X Men

Some Things Never Change

JP at work is now officially coolest person of the week. We were on a customer service/work night out last night (to Picos, Portuguese beer and table service. Lovely) and I was being random and cupping my hands over my ears to discover new and interesting forms of sound (as you do). He started doing it too... and also discovered crazy and slightly worrying underlying sounds in the conversations going on around us.

Now doubtless I was pissed at the time (and at only 7 o'clock as well... shame on me!) but still we kept it up for 10 minutes exchanging worried glances and amused grins. Ah... I like finding random people, they remind of Folkestone.

I sometimes forget not everyone on the planet is boring.

I have no money till Wednesday and I'm beginning to starve. Same same... but different.

I Don't Like Richard

I just can't put my finger on why I dislike him the most out of all of this years housemates (Shahbaz obviously doesn't count). Sezer is slimy (just as I thought!). Nikki is like a loud version of Chinese water torture (sob sob sob sob...). Grace and Imogen are slags playing up to the slutty boys (I was brought up to believe women were more intelligent than men. LIES! They're just as thick). But there is something about Richard...

I knew as soon as he arrived that he wasn't my kind of person... image obsessed and rather bland. But as time has gone on I have begun to wish he wasn't in there. Watch this space and I will work out exactly why I dislike him...

In other news Pete cried when Shahbaz left. Compassion! I'm telling you... Pete is a babe. Intelligent, compassionate, gorgeous, well endowed and quirky. My perfect man (excluding Jim)

So's Dermot O'Leary... not excluding Jim... ;)

Memories

It's strange how easily confused memories can become. Especially memories from your childhood. I'd always been a little confused regarding the Great Storm (ask any Brit and they'll tell you all about how they slept through the Great Storm of 1987...). What's so confusing about that? I hear you ask.

Well... I distinctly remember the storm being during the day. I remember being at school and hearing tiles starting to fall from the roof. Before I knew it Mum had shown up early and all the other parents were there too, encouraging their kids to run like hell towards home. I remember the rushed trip home fighting through the winds with Mum looking deeply terrified by the amount of roof tiles flying on the pavements before and after us... luckily I only lived over the road and safety was only a short, hunched over run away. It's one of the most dramatic memories of my life.

So I've always been a tad concerned that everyone says they slept through the Great Storm, because it occured overnight... Did I dream it all? It dawned on me today that the Great Storm occured in 1987. I wasn't at school then. Intruiged I did some research...

Who has ever heard of the Burns' Day Storm of 1990? Did you know it killed more people than the Great Storm? And it occured during the day? But who ever mentions it? Does anyone even remember it?

If I had a penny for every time I've heard the story of the Michael Fish controversy I'd be a rich man. But no one ever mentions the Burns' Day Storm. Maybe they all slept through that one too...

Shahbaz has left the BBuilding. It has to be said he needed to be out... he was going insane.

Is it me or is Richard the biggest, most childish bully ever? Shahbaz deserved the flak he got. But good lord Richard brought playground politics to a new, petty level with his "ignore Shahbaz" game and shouting "Beetlejuice, beetlejuice, beetlejuice" to his face. Richard... grow up you big pansy.

Pete... oh Pete. Last night on the Big Brother nightly show he was in the pool with the girls who managed to get a look at his manhood. And they were mighty impressed. Words to the effect of "I've never seen anything that big" were uttered. Pete will you marry me? ;)

Don't worry Dermot, you're still my one true love.

I Hate My Boyfriend

Look, a boyfriend shouldn't undermine the one he loves... but Jim has gone and done it. What has he done? I hear you say. Just look at the evidence. Not only is his blog far better written than mine, it's bloody gorgeous as well. Bastard. (Love you really!)

Not only did he find time to design his blog in the few days since we landed back here in blighty... he also undertook the massive task of cataloguing all our DVDs. All 539 (legal) ones that is. It doesn't even include our vast pirate collection... check out Jim and Jae's DVD Collection.

And in between this he has cooked some delicious Thai yellow curries, taught me how to cook katsudon AND been his usual marvellous self. Could I ask for a better boyfriend?

It looks like we have a new (old) country... Montenegro. Welcome back!

Big Brother 7 - Shahbaz

Shahbaz. When I saw him enter the house I thought he was going to be annoying but on occassion a source of amusement. It turns out he is one of the most hideous people I've ever seen on Big Brother. Here's why:

Glyn, an 18 year old native Welsh speaker, was feeling a little uncomfortable with the amount of touchy feeliness Shahbaz was throwing in his direction. Glyn, with some obvious difficulty, because of his age and difficulty speaking English, brought the issue up in a very sensitive way. Shahbaz immediately played "the gay card" and basically accused Glyn of being homophobic and told him that he sympathised with him but wasn't going to stop touching him because he couldn't change who he was!!!

Given the fact Glyn couldn't have been more endearingly sweet in his attempt to stop Shahbaz's social ineptness I can only say I was sickened at Shahbaz's reponse.

He talks about gay pride and gay togetherness then gives us all a bad name by playing the gay card in a situation where homosexuality wasn't the issue.

I don't like being touched by girls. This doesn't make me a gynephobe does it?? It just means I value my personal space! Shahbaz GET REAL!!!

By the way Pete took his hat off and didn't pull any faces. God lord isn't he a cutie??



And by the way aren't Thai men just divine? Picture yoinked from Sonny under a Creative Commons License

gay, Big_Brother, Shahbaz

Eurovision 2006 - The Final

The presenters arrive... Oh my god... it's Will and Grace!! And you thought Eurovision couldn't get any gayer!

The contest in brief... The points are my own over generous scores...

Switzerland - Pure pop trash. I loved it... aspirational, full of hope in the future. Sung fairly well... 8 points
Moldova - I could sing this song better... crap. One of the singers is almost cute 4 points
Israel - Mum used to rate them nil point with the remark "stop killing Palestinians". Now although I may not agree with the principle, I have to say this song didn't light any fire within me. Very American... 6 points
Latvia - Erm... 12 points for effort??
Norway - Lovely... although I hadn't realised human cloning was now legal? :p 8 points
Spain - The "We couldn't be bothered song..." DULL. 1 point Terry Quote "Spain lost the plot years ago"
Malta - deserved to do better - 6 points
Germany - Should have won... love it! 12 points
Denmark - Cloning again??? Whats happening in Scandinavia? Fun. 8 points
Russia - Can I marry Dima? He is very nice... I wasn't listening to the song other than the "flesh on my flesh, bone on my bone" part so... 12 points!
Macedonia (I hate the FYR part... let them be their own country!) - ok 6 points
Romania - ish 6 points
Terry Quote "No sign of a drink yet?.. no..."
Bosnia & Herzegovina - ok 6 points
Lithuania - TQ - "keep an eye out for a bald maniac who may be harry hills brother" I love Terry... this song is so crap (and quite mad) it's almost good. Almost... nil point.
The United Kingdom - CRAP. Come on... I've said it since he won Making Your Mind Up. Sorry dear Daz your heart was in the right place. But rap is soooo last century... 12 points for effort but I'm not feeling very patriotic this last week so... 2 points.
Greece - cool 8 points
Finland - The mighty Lordi. Refreshing... The Arockalypse of Eurovision's perceived pop obsession. Loved it... 12 points
Ukraine - It's Shakira! Oh wait... 8 points
France - And normally I like the French ones... 4 points
Croatia - TQ - "It's obviously much more fun to sing than to listen to". I agree. 4 points
Ireland - Yawn... 2 points
Sweden - Nothing special 4 points
Turkey - Love it... 10 points.
Armenia - Ok 6 points

The BBC's take on the night. Well done Lordi!


Thai guys are so hot.

Lordi, Eurovision, gay

When You Cry In The Night For The Love That You Need

I had one of the worst nights out of my life yesterday. Ok... so it wasn't that awful. But it was still the worst I've ever had.

I headed out to the office to meet up with the work crew for a few drinks for Sam America's 23rd birthday. It was actually nice to see everyone, i.e. some people in this country who I don't want dead, and a group of us headed out to the Rose.

Before we go any further I'll own up here and say I just wasn't in the mood to be going out; I was there only out of a sense of duty to Sam. So most of my lack of enjoyment was my own fault.

The Rose was packed out and the staff seemed to be under the illusion they were working in a dance club rather than a pub so they'd cranked the music volume up to be even louder than the already screamingly loud crowd. We stood around attempting to talk and gradually more and more of our group left. Being poor after my holiday, and not in the mood for drinking, I broke my record for slowest drinking and had 3 pints over 3 hours. Considering I normally guzzle one down every 15 minutes that's impressively slow.

It was extremely annoying having to stand for hours on end and I was in such a bad mood Tamara kept mentioning how hostile I looked. And I couldn't even find the will power to fancy even one of the guys in there. I knew then something was really up. Then Meredith shoved my face in her breasts... Joy...

By the time we got out of there only Sam, Meredith, Tamara, Owen and I were left. The latter three of us were sober. The first two were not. They had some sort of fight as we wandered towards Vauxhall bus station and I really felt like I wanted to get away. We got a bus and the Americans broke out the cans of Strongbow. "Oh how classy", I thought.

We ended up at Clapham High Street and some club named Inferno. Words fail me at this point. Imagine the tackiest place in the world. It's done out in hideous black and neon. It's empty. It SMELLS. Thank God I got in free. I would of thrown up if I'd paid the £10 entrance fee (HA!). Now I know I sound like a snob, but Owen and Tamara seemed to be having the same reaction. We sat in our special reserved area which wasn't too bad... except then the rest of Sam and Merediths friends turned up. Rude bastards that they were. No class... pretending to shag each other and having mock fights. Fucking hell kids, that might of been fun when you were 12...

Owen and Tamara seemed equally unimpressed and abandoned me for places unknown... thanks guys. Then Sam's mates tried to talk to me by saying how bored I looked. When I pointed out how truely crap this place was they told me "It's not the place that should matter but the people you are with". Thanks Gandhi... how trite.

I decided not to point out the difficulties I had with that statement and instead tactfully retreated... out the door and onto the tube. Where I become homicidal. I get on a train and the guy in front of me spends the whole journey swinging from a pole... not in a fun pole dancing kind of way but a dull one step forward, two steps back routine (not to music; I think he was just intellectually challenged). By the end of the journey I was pushed up against the door with his backpack in my chest. It was all I could do to stop myself reaching past his pack and snapping his neck. God, I hate being polite...

Finally I get off at Greenwich... and spend the journey home trying to get past an umbrella welding inebriate with the mind of an amoeba who kept swerving into my way... I used some relaxing breathing techniques to avoid stealing the umbrella and using it to spit roast her...

This country sucks.

Thailand In Pictures

Check out my Flickr page.

Eurovision Semi Finals and Big Brother 7

Can you stand the excitement... here, unedited, are my notes as I watched...

Armenia Andre - Without Your Love,.. not bad... wish he could sing though
Bulgaria Let Me Cry Mariana Is that Ursula from the Little Mermaid in the background??
Slovenia - Facial Hair Attack
Andorra - Crap
Belarus - how very eighties
Albania - hats, bagpipes. I'm losing my faith!
Belgium - getting better... She can dance!
Ireland - OH DEAR GOD...
Cyprus... Stop already...
Monaco... Half naked men... this is what I live for
Macedonia
Poland... Green hair....
russia to win!! CUTE!
turkey - male dancers.. improvement...
ukraine - (this is where I got bored and was about to watch porn when the commentator mentioned Big Brother was on...)
Big Brother 7
Bonnie - chavette HATE HER
Pete - Tourettes??? GENIUS!
George. Let's hunt him with hounds. He fears transvestites and overly gay men.
Shabaz - the Pakipoof (his words!) please kiss George!
Lea - She's a twat. Why do I say this? because she hates herself.. no i'm not talking about the fact she has had surgery... listen to the way she talks about "fat" and "ugly" people. Way to go you insecure mean spirited woman.
Imogen - "my kinky things would be very expensive". Oh god.. it's not sailor hat wearing thormaldehyde bathing prostitutes is it??
Mikey - Chauvinist... hates ugly people... Hates transvestites and Gay men as well. Let's send in the ladyboys
Dawn - ray of light... what a bundle of Joy... she hates everyone and doesn't want any friends
Glyn - NUDIST!! Yay.. Sexiest Lifeguard in North Wales... are there that many lifeguards in North Wales?
Richard - Canadian Sexual Terrorist... OHDEARGOD. I'm starting to fear gay men too...
Grace - Let's shoot her...
Lisa - Cliched! In your face, get what you see... common as muck...
Sezer - Bling, God save us from arrogant twats...
If Shabaz says OH MY GOD when Sezer goes in I'm going to go get a Singha beer out of the fridge...
Mmm... refreshing... Be A Thai!
Nikki - COMMON. Let me repeat... COMMON...

I'm glad to see that Big Brother has again performed the public service of locking up Britain's least likeable people for the duration of the summer.

Thailand Part 3 - Ko Samui Smells, Bangkok Rules

I'm home... if there is anyone nice out there please donate some money so I can go back to Bangkok to live. I promise to do whatever you want!!! This place is the pits. Almost as bad as Ko Samui...

9th May 2006 - Chaweng Must DIE

The plane flew in low over the island and it's amazing beaches and coconut palm copses blew me away. We landed at Ko Samui's "famous" tropical airport. It just seemed a little tacky to me... got our bags and met our transfer. She seemed a little confused when we handed her our voucher for the Chaweng Regent but she didn't say anything. We were dropped off at the resort and although I was fairly impressed by the exterior, I could tell Jim was already unhappy. By the time we were checked in and in our bungalow I wasn't that happy either.

The Bungalow was warm (too warm!), small and totally unsuitable. Considering the high quality of the last two hotels we stayed in we knew something was up... we got moved to a better one (better as in the air con worked if you left it on for 12 hours but still rubbish) and pondered why this place was totally unlike the place we had booked... It didn't take us long to realise we were actually at Chaweng Resort a budget cheapo backpackers place. So the rest of the day was spent trying to sort out this mess (Lastminute.com hadn't booked the Regent in time and booked the Resort instead without telling us) including a massive long walk down Chaweng Beach Road.

Chaweng Beach Road... imagine the scene. Every car that passes is a taxi or songthaew (a cross between a taxi, a pick up truck and a bus). In each car is a stupid idiot who seeing you are farang (a Westerner) beeps his horn at you. Repeat till you become hideously unamused. Then in the background imagine a loud speaker on the back of a lorry repeating a message to go to Chaweng Stadium and see Muay Boxing. "Get There Earlier, Get There Earlier... Best of The Best, Champ of the Champ". You will hear this every two minutes while you are outside... Now as all this noise if going on you will need to carefully side step overly tanned Westerners who can't help but get in your way while you also dodge the, to be expected, sales pitches of every Thai you pass. But unlike Thai's on the mainland this lot will be rude to you. "Oi tall boy, come get a suit, man". It was hell.

We went for a swim in the sea in the evening to try and relax... the beach and the sea are the only good things in Chaweng. Had dinner at the Captain Kirk which was alright but no where near as good as mainland Thai.

Bothered and bewildered we fell into Amsterdam and were delighted to discover a cabaret show, and cute barmen. It was refreshing and totally entertaining (ladyboys flanked by gorgeous Thai lads...). Only down side was a creepy barlady who kept showing everyone her legs.

May 10th - Is Nothing Sacred?

Asia World. We love you. Asia World managed to find us a new place to stay... the Chaba Samui Resort. Nowhere near as good as the Chaweng Regent but at least the rooms were cool. Totalled pissed off with the carnage out on the street we spent most of the day in the resort in the pool.

We went to the Amsterdam again. Food was nice. Being big spenders we soon found ourselves with the full attention of the owner. He whispered something into Jack's (the cutest barmen) ear and we received free drinks... and Jack's over the top attention. It soon seemed obvious that the owner was just trying to get us to spend more money on massage boys and we left feeling cheated out of our one refuge from the exploitation on Chaweng Beach Road. It upset me greatly in fact...

May 11th - Things Can Only Get Better.

Had lunch at "The Deck". Well when I said had lunch, the service took so long it counted as dinner and breakfast for the next day as well. Service in Thailand has been the one thing I couldn't fault... it dawned on me that Ko Samui isn't Thai. It's a nowhere place like Ibiza or Torremolinos... a hot place filled with tourists and locals out to rip you off.

Dinner was had at an ok but not great Italian restaurant (plus point did have a cat, negative point I've probably now got rabies knowing Ko Samui). We couldn't face going out so stayed in and watched Star Movies... our saviour.

May 12th - Do You Want Jae Rare or Well Done?

It was Visahka Bucha Day so we spent it in the pool. For too long. And we both got burnt to a crisp. In constant pain we stayed in the hotel for the rest of the day.

May 13th - The Last Hope.

Now I was trying to remain postive about this part of the holiday and continued to fool myself that Ko Samui must have something to offer us. So I forced and unwilling (mainly due to sunburn and fatigue) Jim to accompany me on a round the island tour. It was quite unspectacular... when the trip includes a tacky shop on the tour you know it's desperate for material. Ok so the Big Buddha, the Mummified Monk, the Monkey Show, and the many armed Chinese Lady would be great... except they are on Ko Samui.

Defeated we got back in the over warm mini bus and headed back with the group to our respective hotels. On the way an Aussie couple were telling some health spa travellers about how to navigate around Bangkok using the Skytrain. I could of cried I was so pinning for Bangkok. It would seem so was Jim as by the time we were back at the hotel he had his heart set on it. Asia World pulled through again and it was arranged we would leave in the morning.

We gave the Amsterdam another chance (it was the best place on the island after all!) and Jack did us proud being polite and courteous and the show was as awesome as ever. All was forgiven...

May 14th - Back to Bangkok

The plane journey was easy and as we drove through the storm flooded streets of Bangkok we felt as if a weight had been lifted off our shoulders. We checked back into the Zenith saw Poseidon at the Paragon Deluxe screen, lunch in the food hall. Jim bought me a shirt from the tailors he got his suit done at. It's very nice. Tip Top was our destination for dinner (cute arsed waiter isn't very good at taking orders... but god that arse is divine) and on the way I felt like hugging the DVD sales men and ever present baby elephant at the bottom of the steps of Sala Daeng BTS station. It was good to be back.

We made a truimphant return to The Balcony where Sea attempted to seem unbothered by our return while Tom practically did himself in with excitement trying to entice us to sit on his patch across the way... Bless them all... you just have to love the staff at this bar.

May 15th - I Feel Pretty... Oh So Pretty... I Feel Pretty and Witty and Gay!

Practically skipping/dancing as we went we wandered Bangkok shopping. Had drinks at Dicks Cafe (inside this time) and it was such an improvement on the last time we were there, we went back after changing at the hotel and had a tasty meal. For research purposes, obviously, Jim and I felt it was really required that we visit one of the many "off bars" (go go bars/sex shows/hustler bar). We decided upon Fresh Boyz as we'd been eyeing up the guys in there all night...

Directly through the door is a stage... filled with boys (men!) only wearing their underwear who move round it slowly... all wear numbers on their underwear. We sat not more than a foot from the stag and, although Jim felt uncomfortable, I settled right in... watching the totty go by Jim and I remarked on our faves... Jim looked further down the line and pointed one out to me. Number 66. He was a muscular, smooth bloke with a winning smile. As soon as Jim pointed him out, even before I could form an opinion, Number 66 spotted me looking and spent the next 10 minutes staring at me, smiling and attempting to get me to buy him. Even when he was on the far side of the stage he stood with his back to the guys over there and smiled at me instead. Darn he was persistent (not helped by the fact all the other boys were also determined that I was going to buy 66 and kept pushing him my way)... which is how he ended up sitting by my side with a drink in his hand. Jim now felt very comfy as all the other boys on stage left him alone, while I was starting to feel less comfy.

Ok physically I was very comfortable as I had my hands on/around/all over a gorgeous 25 year old Thai guy named Tee. But mentally I was completely uncomfortable... sex is good, money bad. The idea of paying for sex (when it's freely available as well!) turns me off and goes against my instincts. I like a guy to desire me, that turns me on. I don't want him to want me for money. Jim, Jack (our host) and Tee spent the night trying to convince me that I'd regret not sleeping with the big armed, big pec'ed and not badly endowed (I know cos I got to see) Tee who spent the whole evening staring up at me from under my arm and SMILING that bloody nice smile at me.

But I was strong folks... despite the fact it would of cost me only £20 for the night... JUST £20 for sex, Britain has a lot to learn from Thailand.... I didn't sleep with him. If I didn't have a lovely boyfriend and if Tee didn't want money from me I would have shagged him silly in less than a heartbeat... but alas...

The sex show was fab... not half as tacky as I thought it'd be although the moment that Jim assisted in removing a 15 foot long piece of ribbon from a guys arse (impressive indeed) bordered on the tacky side...

May 16th - Be A Thai.

Our last day. We wandered some more. I was quite upset to be leaving. Had our last evening at The Balcony and tried the food. My God... we'd been missing out. Their yellow curry was divine. Jim was pleased to see Nut again. There is a guy at the bar opposite who we'd been oogling on our visits. We called him Leo because of a T Shirt he wears... tall and good looking. Looking at him I realised he'd been one of the boys at Fresh Boyz the night before. Now in his job at the Telephone Bar he is a confident, strutting guy. At Fresh Boyz he looked so uncomfortable, self conscious and shy. So because we are soooo not mean hearted Jim and I spent the entire evening laughing loudly whenever we saw him. What a fun game.

May 17th - If I Could Turn Back Time...

Homeward bound. We arrived at Heathrow. It was raining in that can't be bothered kind of way British rain has and it was soooo cold. Minimum temperature we had in Thailand was about 30 Celsius. And that was at about 1am. But I tried not to be depressed about being home... till we were on the tube and some girls got on. Looking like a bunch of tarts they sat down and f'd and blinded their way through a conversation. The British have no class. As the day was well over 24 hours long I slept well.

May 18th... TODAY!

Went and did some shopping today using the money we gained from collecting all our change together (£68!). Went to See Woo, it felt good to be around Asians. Jim has just cooked up an awesome Katsudon. YUM!

Interlude

I've just arrived back in the United Kingdom... culture shock and jet lag leave me wishing I had a gun. Home sweet home.

Thailand Part 2: Chiang Mai and Beyond

I've been in Bangkok for the last few days.... long story which I'll get to eventually!!

6th May - The 30 Year Old Virgin Rent Boy

Flew by propellor plane (a novel experience for someone who is... uncomfortable... with flying)... picked up again by private transfer (everything is sooo easy here in Thailand) and arrived at the Royal Princess. This hotel was totally superb.. classy.

Wandered... for hours through Chiang Mai searching out an elusive gay district... we never did get there. We were so tired and grumpy by the end we got a tuk tuk back. Tuk tuks are far less exciting than I had been led to believe. That was something to cheer up scaredy cat Jae!!

Dinner was had a bar called Friends just near the Night Bazaar where our barmen Ken delighted us by guessing we were gay. Sweet! Then went to a gay bar called Friendship where we met Sit... he claimed to be a 30 year old virgin but I doubt both those ascertains.. he decided to sit next to me and cope a good feel... repeatedly... pictures will follow... made a hasty retreat.

7th May - We Should Have Brought A Bigger Elephant.

Headed out of Chiang Mai with our tour guide (who lived in Folkestone for a year... small world!) to go elephant trekking in the north. After walking over a rickety rope bridge we got to feed the elephants and watch them bathe. This was followed by a logging show and then... the Ride. They saw us and immediately called for a gigantic elephant... HUGE! It was also very headstrong and would repeatedly stop in the most inappropriate places (on a steep hill, in a river or just above a deep ravine) and eat... and eat... and eat. There was no moving him! :) Got back and had a lunch (FEAST!) by the river before heading to a log raft and spending an hour floating serenely downstream... very lovely. Afterwards we went to a very dull orchid farm before heading back to the hotel. Had dinner by the river in a lovely, perfectly lighted restaurant called the Good View.

8th May... Living The Good Life

Hired a tuk tuk to take us to the zoo.... for 300 Baht (less than a fiver) he agreed to drive us around the zoo so we didn't have to use our legs (LAZY!). There were pandas (I saw one briefly... shy creatures!), a hilarious childrens show, crocodiles and caymens and just about any animal put on this planet. It was awesome... spent 4 hours there. Had lunch at an O'Malleys as I was beginning to miss ketchup... dinner at Le Bristrot (a crappy Italian restaurant...) and then some goodbye drinks with Ken at Friends... and several games of Connect 4. He was well good.

9th May - The Nightmare Begins...

We flew to Ko Samui. As the plane decended (thank God the Italians on board had driven me into a near hysteria) to the island I looked out the window and saw a tropical paradise. This was one of the only fond memories I have of the place.

tbc

Thailand Part 1 Bangkok in Brief.

Hi all, I hope you are well.

I am currently on the island of Koh Samui. It is... a shithole... but let us not let that ruin what started off as a very promising holiday...

May 1st

The journey to the airport was sooooo easy (and cheap) and we had a dinner in a Cafe Gerard served by a mad waiter called Max. The flight was cool... sure the fact there were stupid people on board (who would lean over you while you were sleeping and open your window to see outside... in the middle of a flipping night flight while there was daylight outside no less) did make it a bit horrid but the Thai Airways crew were brilliant.

May 2nd

We landed in Bangkok in the afternoon and to our surprise we were meet by our own private car and tour guide called Pui. She was verz friendly and informative even if she was constantly tryin gto sell day trips to us. Our hotel was the Zenith on Sukhamvit Soi 3. It was nice, even slightly faded and the staff polite. We were right near the Skytrain which was our main waz of exploring the city. We headed to the famous Patpong market off Thanon Silom and had dinner at Tip Top where they had the cutest waiter in the world serving the best Thai Green Curry in the universe... sublime... Patpong was filled with people desperate to part you from your money but they were not over the top and did things with a smile...

May 3rd

Siam Ocean World ROCKS MY SOCKS. They had everything... a trip on a glass bottom boat over a shark infested (BIGGEST SHARKS I have ever seen) aquarium, penguins, otters, beavers and so many different kind of sea life it will blow your mind... Lunch was had in side the Siam Paragons amazing food hall filled with all sorts of delicious and cheap taste sensations I almost fainted. Jim went and bought a suit...

Dinner that evening was had on Silom Soi 4 at the Sphinx which was pleasant and as always in Bangkok, the service was faultless (even if it was our waiters first day). Drinks were drank at the awesome Balcony bar staffed by gorgeous, friendly, and very relaxed (in a good way) bar staff such as Nut, Tom and Sea (he was my fave).

May 4th

A lie in followed by lunch at Siam Paragon again. We then went to see Mission Impossible 3 in the Paragon Cineplexs Nokia Deluxe screen. I can not express in words how good it is... I think I will try though in a seperate post. I will just say... the waiter in the waiting room served us on his knees (not like that you crass dirty minded reader) and treated us like Gods. All for a tenner...

Being creatures of habit and needing more green curry dinner was again had at Tip Top and then we moved on to the Balcony again to help them celebrate their 8th birthday... http://www.balconypub.com/ We saw David who once gave me his phone number while I was very drunk in the ye Olde Rose and Crown in Greenwich... Small world

May 5th

Having spent more time doing shopping and hanging out in bars we decided to be touristy and headed for the Grand Palace by boat. of course it was the Kings Coronation Day so it was closed... but we had loads of touristy things to do at the Wat Pho... the Reclining Buddha is reallz rather impressive. Had lunch at a bar near Marahaj Pier.

That night we went and visited the really seedy gay area of Bangkok so we could perve over all the cute Thai guys while appearing slightly respectable in Dicks Cafe... mission accomplished we went and said goodbye to the Balcony (SOB) after dining at the Sphinx...

May 6th... Chiang Mai and our adventures with Chang (elephant) and Sit the rent boy...

tbc