Sunday, April 06, 2003

Combat Fatigue

"Just a gigolo
everywhere I go
people know the part
I'm playing

Paid for every dance
selling each romance
every night some heart

There will come a day
youth will pass away
then what will they say
about me

When the end comes I know
they'll say just a gigolo
as life goes on
without me"

David Lee Roth - Just A Gigolo

OK yesterday I spent way too much time on the net, chatting with random bods. And despite what I wrote yesterday I accepted several invitations for sex.

Why do I do this?? All it causes is much stress, and a feeling I am betraying some part of myself. A more innocent part. There is a part of me that wants to be sweet and innocent, and well... Disney! Where sex doesn't exist, and LOVE is an event. And yet I agree to these stressful meets that involve effort and usually make me feel bad anyway. Grrr......

When will I learn? One of the meets is in Luton... in the Three Valleys area for Christ sake!! I'll just spend the whole time investigating whether they paid their water bill or not... and it's Luton... L-U-T-O-N spells smelly.

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