The Dance Of Deception

Last night I went to the Leas Club with Zoe and her sister Jodie, where we got bored, the girls played pool (they are both fabtastic players!) and then went down to Spoons (my name should be changed to Jae "The Spoons" Kay). Jodie was cruel to me talking about MT's nipples. It almost caused me to collapse in a rather girly heap on floor....

Thanks for all the messages yesterday!! Yay!! Instant smile!

Emmsy you are the official Blog Queen!! April 2001?? Wow! We must all bow down before Her Blogginess!

I was forced to read the Independent today. Once I was an avid reader, but now? It really stinks. Good old Guardian, intelligent and witty and filled from front to back with loadsa stuff!

I was going to tell you that I saw a great article in there by Johann Hari, my fav journalist bloke, but then realised that they charge on the website to read it. Rotters!!

Hmm.... indeedy

It's got to the point on all my blogs where I am beginning to be far more liberal with the truth than ever before. It's not that what I say is a lie. It's just that there is so much I am not saying. Feelings and thoughts that, given the readership, I simply can't express. Which completely makes that statement above redundant doesn't it?

The line between discretion and truthfulness has been reached. Don't worry, nothing I want to say about anyone else is in any way derogatory or anything bad. But sometimes in certain relationships you can't say what you want to say out of embarrassment and a fear of rejection. Having a crush is a very annoying thing!!

I just thought I'd let you know that from time to time the things I say and what I want to say are very different things.

Anyway, my lips are sealed. *primly tightens lips*

In other news.... Mum got a promotion yesterday. Well done to her! She seems to be in a constant state of promotion.

And I am really totally poor-a-roonie. With bells on.

I feel like I have been blogging forever. August 2001 seems so long ago. What's been your fav thing about this blog? Why do you read it?

And leave a comment to say hi, just to cheer me up!

Life Is Tedious Sometimes

Zoe came round round last night and we watched BFG and Miss Congeniality.

Am ssssoooo bored today. Work seemed to go on for ever..

Ok I am no expert but this story seems to be getting just about as serious as the Trent Lott story... thankfully... I really hope he is forced to resign.

Places I Have Never Been

I did manage to get to Canterbury yesterday, after much faffing around on my part! I am so disorganised. Anyway... Gareth picked me up from Folkestone Central and after a brief stop at his house in Ramsgate we headed for town. We went into the Spoons (another one... I do get around!!) near the Bishops Finger, then headed down to Oranges (I apologise I don't remember the names, will update later with them) where I had a JD, then to another pub just down from HMV and then to a bar a bit closer where I had a Brain Hemorrage (sp?) (the drink not the medical emergency!).

Then we got to another bar, where we were cornered by an old man with a big nose who started telling us what I am guess to be an amusing story. It went something like " *mumble* right *mumble* right *mumble* had an irish accent * mumble and amused smile* right?" it went on like that for about 5 minutes while me and Gareth attempted to think up ways of getting away!

Off to Bar 11 we went, where I had another JD (eek), and Gareth attempted to persuade me the barman was cute.... I don't think so..... hehe....

Went to the second Spoons of the night... saw Stephen there and got a few really bitchy looks from his mates. Once they all left me and Gareth stole their seats, eyed up a couple of cute guys, and Gareth failed to persuade me to go to the Biz.

As we headed to the taxi Gareth defo got cruised by cute guy in denim (phwoah!), but refuses to believe me saying things like "Maybe he just saw me staring at him" and "Do you think he was cruising you?" (ha!). Got a taxi back to Ramsgate (£25... eek... I owe Gareth money), had another final drink of vodka at his house, he made me scrambled egg on toast (mmm....), we watched some porn (bad musak!), then Toy Story (second time in less than a week!). Finally fell asleep about 4.30 in morning.

Today got up, we got train to Canterbury West to retrieve Gareths car. He gave me a lift home... I had a roast... delivered Lib Dem Leaflets (with Angel, Beth and George in tow... why did Angel follow me round the whole estate??) then sat and watched music telly with Angel on my lap (the word clingy comes to mind!)..

Hocus Pocus is on in mo!!! YAY!

Oh.. in an interesting coincidence of sorts... gareth knows Jon O.... funny huh?

Not So Trashy Ashford

I went out last night with Claire, John and Adam to Ashford. And had a really good time, thanks guys! It was so nice to be out somewhere different for a change. We went to the local Wetherspoons (a home from home!) which was cool. One of the bar man looked like Charlie from Busted except had bigger arms (swoon) and a nicer bum. Well worth going!

Then we wandered along randomly to another pub, the Man Of Kent, which was also pretty cool.

I am not going to London today. I blame an organisational melt down. Still hopefully going to Canterbury tho.

Am disillusioned with Lib Dems. They are just as bad as the rest. Looked at Green Party but they are too passive for my liking.

And Grrrrr.....

Late Easter

Oh Happy Easter everyone! Why do I say this today? Because my our company bought all us slobs an Easter egg today. Very nice of them!

Erm... I know I had something to say... grrr..... erm... I hate knowing I had something completely dull, repetitive and uninteresting to tell you and now I can't remember what it was.

Anyway am off to Ashford tonight.. shall list those who come later on... mmm... shall go have bath as I really smell... just thought I'd let you know...

Am in a really wierd mood today.

Oh Mum just lent me 50 quid which was nice....

These Are The Hands We're Given

SARS is beginning to look very worrying indeed see here. But no need to worry... there isn't much we can do really now is there.

If I were you I'd worry more about letting this kind of freak into your national government. Now listen American voters... being anti-gay, racist, anti-Semetic mean that a person is not mentally capable of leadership. The values of strength, honesty, tolerance, and self-confidence are lacking from all such candidates... and they ain't Christian either!!

Also note to Americans vote for us and don't lock up children it ain't nice!. People often say every ones anti American. We're not! Just a little worried about ya! I loved America once... Land Of Liberty etc. So come on... lead us into the light! Otherwise I may have to come over there and, well, get on ya nerves and stuff...

I had a team meeting today which was quite good. For the first time I felt part of a team working towards some goals, and felt the company was actually organised! Which was nice!

Oh What They Saying

OK so Monday night me and Zoe watched "Mr Deeds", "X'Men" and "Toy Story".... cool! The house was frosty... the family all annoyed with each other. Then I watched Major Fraud about the bloke who tried to cheat at Millionaire... so funny.... oh what a big banana!!

Work was really busy yesterday. Then went out to Spoons with Zoe, Laura, John, Arron, Rob, another Zoe and a random called Emma (?). Good fun.

Tiredness....

Oh it's St. Georges Day.... and Shakespeares birthday..

Coz You Shouldn't Treat Him Like A Toy

I am ssssoooooo bored. Just thought I'd let you know.

Zoe came and picked me up, and we headed to Gees with a view to some DVD watching later on. We got there and it was absolutely empty. Except for the barman. I thought we'd probably only stay for one drink... it was that bad! Then (and Zoe I must apologise if this inconvienced you in anyway) Ben sent me a text saying he was in town for one night only. Before I knew it he was there. It wasn't exactly that much fun. But it was nice to see Ben again.

Then I returned home, and David and his girls were still there and seemed to have taken over my room. I managed to sulk long and hard enough for them to retreat. Ha! I don't do "family" as the "family" don't really do "gay people". A small victory for me. A lot people seem to hold their families in such high regard. I have never understood this. My family are just the people who brought me into this world. They mess ya around, expect you to respect them without showing any signs of giving you respect, and are most dull.

Ok... so those aren't the real reasons.... I hold a grudge towards every last one of them for how they treated me when we were all in the hospital as Melly died... I shall NEVER forgive them... they made me look after their children while they got to grieve... and they told me "No" I couldn't say goodbye to my Melly.

So I truely hope each one of them burns in HELL.

Eek... I think I have some issues...

Zoe will be round in a minute with some DVDs.

Land Of Confusion

Oh my God! The Family are here.... my sanity is thus very suspect. There appears to be just about everyone. Thankfully they are all heading off for the pub.... I don't like them as much as I used to. I have absolutely nothing in common with my family. Beyond my blood. Which is not something to build a very meaningful relationship on.

This is the world we live in: The Nazis are coming! God.... these racist scum, and those who vote for them need more sex. I think we should all make it our mission to Sleep With A Racist For Peace. Show them what's really fun and important. Or we can just go make some more black/brown/yellow babies just to really get on their nerves...

Do I Have To Change My Name?

OK so last night I went out to Spoons with Zoe, Laura (home at last, but soon jetting off to New York), John, Elliot, Annie (hi Constant Reader), Gem, Arron, Rob, Kim and Claire. It was fun, specially as there were lots of people for once.

Spent most of yesterday downloading such classic theme songs as Raggy Dolls, Wizbit (my oh my!), Trap Door, Duckula, Wonder Woman, Henrys Cat, and (oh I saved the best for last!) Supergran. I also scarily discovered that my memory of a sitcom about an elderly Jewish ghost was, unfortuntely real. The show was called So Haunt Me.

Today work was hell. Customers whinging and whining and complaining. Eek... Tony's mum is coming to stay... fun. She is like a woman in the car advert who can't find anything nice to say about anyone.

Don't You Open That Trapdoor

I do understand that this case is probably "just" some trumped up charges to silence someone the Malaysian Government doesn't like. But still. Anti-sodomy laws are the STUPIDIST laws ever. How does a consenting sexual act, between two adults, constitute a crime? Especially one that can bring a nine year prison sentence (that's more than the six years Anwar got for corruption!).

And in brief in Guardian: A Cairo court yesterday jailed 14 men for one to three years for homosexual activities, one of their lawyers said. AP, Cairo. Why?? Why expend all this money and time keeping them incarcerated??

And here is another example of time wasting, and stupidity in the worlds legislatures.....

OK straight people. Here we go. Stop Being Stupid! Get over it. Yes I know it's hard. What will you find to do with your time? Not talk to your family, or have fun, or work harder, or better yourself, surely?

Oh and straight men. instead of worrying about all the sex we are getting, go get yourself some!! OK?

You Are So Gay!

You came out of the closet at around 3 years old and have stayed out.

Mmm, you enjoy nothing more than a man with large hands to push your head down.

You love being receiving end and pant like a dog on heat.

Ever judged someone's personality on the shape of his ass? Thought so!


Busted! Are You Gay?

More Revealing Gay Quizzes @ Gay Personality

Floorwalking

Hmm..... I can either get paid to have tomorrow off or work tomorrow. Decisions, decisions. I can't think which one I will choose.

Stephen phoned yesterday (shock horror! He never phones me!). I am no longer going to see him as he is going to church Saturday night. Grrr.... He really gets on my nerves sometimes. He takes way too much credit for making me who I am. He knows NOTHING about me. He tells me all about his latest shags and then tells me to live a little when I say "Oh I've spent the week working, and then me and Zoe went to Gees". It's like you meet people and let em do you. I meet them, chat with them, and sometimes have sex with them. He barely travels out of Zone 1 (central London). I go places! I do stuff! I have friends, I hate it when he makes it sound like I have no life.

Sure I don't lead a life completely based around sex. I have sex on a fairly regular basis. And I don't go to CHURCH like a certain someone! His phone call made me all depressed and annoyed. What right does he have to judge me, based on the highly limited amount of stuff he knows about me?

Somewhere along the line Stephen turned into a queen. Shallow, slutty (not in the good way, in a really needy way), and really boringly normal (by gay standards). I am trying to remember what he was once like when I first started going out with him. I really can't.

Despite aving been in my job for two months I was left in charge of the training area today. This is known as floorwalking and just involves me sitting with the trainees and taking any calls off them that they find too difficult. So I did nothing. How did I go from temp to trainer in such short a time??

Summer Days Drifting Away

OK so in the most exciting incident in Lympne since the Romans left (or, should that be, since the last time one of the zoo keepers got eaten by a tiger/squashed by an elephant which is also quite exciting, in a gruesome way, I 'spose), the Location, Location, Location team were filming just across the street from my house yesterday!! Mum saw them but didn't take pics with the digicam goddam it!! Oh my God!! Mum spent all day trying to tell people but they didn't know what she was talking about. Until she told me (a fellow Channel 4 Homes obsessive!) and I went "WOW!!!!" He he...... I did contemplate having day off work to see if they came back for a second viewing as they are apt to do. Yeah, I know, I am very sad! Mum then spent the rest of the day chasing a 6 foot bunny around a farm after some Easter eggs! Put me in mind of Frank from Donnie Darko.

It was really nice yesterday... and it's even nicer today.... so hot! The air conditioners have sprung into action!

Last night I went out to Bar Vasa with Zoe and John, we sat outside and it was lovely. I saw Jon from OUT there... Hi Jon! (not to be confused with Jon I saw at the weekend!). I was also spotted by Patricia's boyfriend too.... ah... fame indeed.

Oh just heard the TV crew were also in Saltwood over the elusive Sams way...

Don't Judge A Book By Its Cover

OK this time last week it was snowing... today is supposed to be the hottest so far. He he he. I don't blame this on global warming. British weather has always been unpredictable. Remember the storm in the eighties where just before it started someone phoned the BBC and asked whether there was going to be a hurricane. And Michael Fish (Britains most famous weather man) laughed it off and said no. Hmmm..... Mr Fish was a great big fool!!

Another day, another trainee sits with me. She was really nervous.. so I made her take a call. Only way to cure the nerves in my opinion.


Your So Horny You could Burst At ANY Moment! You
know what you want, and you get it!


How Horny Are You?
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You Underestimate My Randomness

Last night, despite being tired beyond belief, I went out to Gees with Zoe. I managed to find some crappy songs on the jukebox that I hadn't played before. Amazing but true. Spotted Viva La Radio by Lolly and have made a note to play that next time.... mwhahaha.... Zoe read a magazine called SHE. Most scary..... women saying things like "I have sex about once a month, but could do with less". VERY SCARY! Only one woman was sane.... "We have sex at least nine times a week" You go girl!!

Anyway here is the rough plan for the month ahead, very much subject to changes, which I organised yesterday......

Laura is home on Thursday!! Yayness and a half..... are any other uni bods back soon? Pete what are you up to?

This coming Saturday I am working till 14.00 and then I will make my way to Canterbury to see Stephen and cheer him up a little as he is down. I have Good Friday and Easter Monday off and still get paid!! Yay!

The following Saturday I will be heading for London during the day for a drink with a bloke named Ben (another one) and then heading to Canterbury in the evening for a drink with a guy named Gareth. Highly random... much funness....

Then the Friday after that I am heading off to River near Dover for a party organised by Carrie, one of the Eurotunnel supervisors. Don't quite know how I am going to get home that night... but hey who cares about details!!! Not me!!

Oh by the way.... it's the first day of my new job.... same as the old job.... I have already had new temps come and sit with me... I'm training already

When I Was A Young Warthog

OK so after work on friday I went off to Snodland for Little Tonys 15th birthday. Scarily I can remember the day he was born! Mum, as is the family tradition embarassed him throughly (Simpson's birthday cake, improptu "Happy Birthday" and many photos of his "ghetto" tough guy friends blushing... mwhahaha). The got back and my guardian angel (formerly known as Zoe, but as she is so lovely and keeps giving my lifts I've given her a promotion) rescued me from Lympne and we went to Spoons where we met up with arron, Rob, Elliot and John. Loads of cute guys there (or was I delirious?) and saw peoples like Mark Courts from school.

Yesterday got up, got train to Waterloo East, managed to force myself not to join in the pointless anti-war protest (I am always up for a good protest) and got funky new train to Petersfield, which had no leg room but didn't smell... a definete improvement. Met Jon in Petersfield. he's a really great funny, intelligent bloke. And his dogs (Jerry, A Spaniel and Vil, a Dalmation) are ssssooo cute. We chatted, watched TV, got an Indian from a really cute bloke who couldn't count, drunk, watched a realy, really bizarre movie, got to bed around 2.30 am.

Stephen left a message on my answer phone, he sounded depressed.

Jons bed was very comfortable!!! Loads of duvet.

Got up this morning, watched start of marathon on telly. Got train to Waterloo. Eyed up blokes on train who looked very scared. (mwhahaha) Got to London, managed to force myself not to go watch marathon for real. Got home. Very tired and slightly insane (the usual)

Just phoned Stephen who was very down. He is back in Canterbury and bored. Promised to go see him on Saturday.

Which Unwanted
Sexual Gesture Are You?

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daylighttwilight.com

All The Things I Could Do

So the war in Iraq is at least decided, not won, but we know who will win. Unfortunately... oops... the Coalition forgot they would need to replace Saddam's order with their own kind. Just a minor error of course, I mean mob rule, looting and murder isn't really that bad now is it? Oh wait that's little different to being ruled by a mobster, and brutally murdered and repressed.

Freedom indeed, I never knew that G. W. was an anarchist.

It is pay day today. Thank the Gods! Mmm... phone credit, alcohol, and debt repayments. Music to my ears! Repaying my debt is starting to give me a very fulfilling feeling. I keep making bigger payments, because I know how good it will be to finally get it over with .My mission is to now pay off my debts by my 20th birthday. That's the 18th of June.

And once that is done... I shall retake back my credit card, pay it off, remove my Mum from access to it, stop payments to AOL for the folks account (on which I am restricted to Teen content, bah! And yes my credit card pays for it!), then either hide it, or tear it up. Deadline: end of July.

And once that's done I shall pay off my overdraft. And then...... I will be free....... free I tell ya!!! I'll save up a little and consider my options... go back to uni, go travelling, stay at work here in Folkestone in my own flat, or find a new job, in a new town, and make a new life for myself. Deadline: November

The possibilities are endless

Pretty Cool, There's Nothing To Be Scared Of

So last night I had a bit of an early night, after a mobile conversation with Jon (a whole new Jon, I know this is getting very confuzzling for me too!) who I am going to Petersfield to visit on Saturday.

It's pay day today!!! Yay!! I can hardly wait, it's felt like I was back at Faulty Towers, or unemployed for the last two weeks. I had become used to being able to afford stuff, and to be able to do things!

When I go over to monthly pay I am going to have a month of Hell! Yes next week will be my last weekly pay! Then I've got to survive a whole month without pay! Eek! But once that is over hopefully I'll get into the routine of monthly pay.

OK if I am going up to Waterloo East on Saturday and coming back on Sunday what would the best ticket be for me to get? Do they do two day returns or is just three days?

Hmm.... everyone else in the office gets to view sexy pics of men, but no one sends them to me! :o( God darn it!

And finally...... he is back!

Don't Worry I'll Always Be There For You

I went out last night to the Leas Club with Zoe and John, which was very dead, so we moved on to Spoons. There we were joined by Claire! Haven't seen her in donkeys years (well months anyway!). Hi Claire!!

Are the Americans just plain silly??? Hello!! There is a hotel filled with journalists in Baghdad.... Surely, surely the Americans were briefed not to attack said hotel??? D'oh!!!

Jae's Funky Music List - 2003

1. 4NonBlondes - Whatsup?
2. Embrace - Come Back To What You Know
3. Heather Nova - Maybe An Angel
4. Catatonia - Mulder and Scully
5. Twisted Sister - We're Not Gonna Take It
6. David Bowie - Space Oddity
7. Dave Lee Roth - Just A Gigolo
8. Justin Timberlake - Cry Me A River
9. Avril Lavigne - Sk8r Boi
10. Good Charlotte - Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous

And also....

Jae's Sexy Men List

1. The Sixth Former
2. MT
3. The Leas Club Sexy Bouncer
4. Ashton Kutcher
5. Justin Timberlake
6. Westlife (yes all five! at once)
7. Craig Doyle
8. Tom Welling
9. Dermot O'Leary
10. Charlie from Busted

Cellar Door

My Donnie Darko obsession continues! I think I am close to having a basic understanding of the movie, thanks to some websites, and Zoe sending me the script. Phew... may buy the DVD, just to satisfy my curiosity!

It looks like that instead of going to Luton at weekend for sex, I'll be going to Petersfield for a quiet drink. Which is much preferred by me. Yes I know I really need a good shag... but I want it with someone I actually want to be with, like be with FOREVER! *all eligible men run for cover*

I am still poor!!! I really can't wait for Friday and money, and money = freedom. Yay! OK ..... can anyone enlighten me as to where Petersfield is???? I know the trains to catch once I am in London but not the actual whereabouts of the place!!!!! I hear it's about an hour outside London.

Will be spending Saturday night down there, but still have Friday night free, so anyone wanna do anything? *Jae crosses fingers and chants "Sexy Bouncer Is At The Leas Club"*

What the....??

Zoe came round last night and we watched Donnie Darko on DVD. I woud normally tell you how good/rubbish it was but to be perfectly honest... I don't really know. I don't know what it was about, or how good it was. Shall find out tho. Most confuzzling.

Oh the gasman is coming as we think theres a leak... eeekkk... me and Millie had a bad experience last time they came... we both ended up covered in soot... *Millie runs at word gasman* Long story that involves an exploding boiler.....

In other news.... I just love that Iraqi "information" minister.... he is ssssooo funny... a comedy genius in fact. SNL should give him a slot. His contant lies and exagerations make me LAUGH!

Suck The Fuck




Which Donnie Darko character are you? by Shay

Combat Fatigue

"Just a gigolo
everywhere I go
people know the part
I'm playing

Paid for every dance
selling each romance
every night some heart
betraying

There will come a day
youth will pass away
then what will they say
about me

When the end comes I know
they'll say just a gigolo
as life goes on
without me"

David Lee Roth - Just A Gigolo

OK yesterday I spent way too much time on the net, chatting with random bods. And despite what I wrote yesterday I accepted several invitations for sex.

Why do I do this?? All it causes is much stress, and a feeling I am betraying some part of myself. A more innocent part. There is a part of me that wants to be sweet and innocent, and well... Disney! Where sex doesn't exist, and LOVE is an event. And yet I agree to these stressful meets that involve effort and usually make me feel bad anyway. Grrr......

When will I learn? One of the meets is in Luton... in the Three Valleys area for Christ sake!! I'll just spend the whole time investigating whether they paid their water bill or not... and it's Luton... L-U-T-O-N spells smelly.

Gay Men Are Just Strange

God. I chat to a lot of men on the net. Mainly they are just replying to my silly messages, and we have a very silly conversation about pepsi or how Tony Blair is a pimp or something similar. But some are just scary. Very scary.

Like the bloke who goes "So if you don't want sex what do you want?? Maybe I should delete you." "Go on then" I say as my profile clearly states I DON'T want sex. Then he goes "But I don't want to" Then why say it??? Why be such a baby?! God give me strength.

Or the blokes who claim they love me. It's like... "hello! You have never met me, and you certainly don't know my past, so why say that"

A year ago I probably would of been round their house, having sex, and saying "Isn't this fun?" Now I just find it really creepy.

Particular fears: people who describe themselves or their intended shags as "genuine, decent, regular, sane". These are not things to be proud of!! They scream boring, impersonal, closeted, secretive, scary. And what the fuck does genuine mean???

The Shining

I had the oddest dream ever last night. I worked in a Xanga call centre. Then I went for a works night out, which was like the best night out ever. Then I returned to my parking spot in some back road in London to find my VW campervan and my bicycle had been stolen! And I was most upset!!! It actually felt so real I had to remind myself when I woke up that I don't work for Xanga, and don't own a VW campervan... Tres wierd....

You Get What You Give

I went out last night to the Leas Club, with Becky, Terri and a girl from London named Sue. It was fun, although I always seem to end up knowing way more stuff than I want to know!! Eek!! I hate having to come out to people. There I was expressing my support of some girl who slept around in a kind of "You go girl" kind of way and Sue thought I was expressing some desire to sleep with the slutty girl. Then, of course I had to explain myself, that no I didn't want to sleep with her, but was just expressing solidarity.

Grrr.....

But Terri did give me a lift home... yah!!!

God I need a boyfriend. I am simply not being satisfied as is. I need regular sex, or I will go absolutely insane!!!!!!!!!!! No really.... every time I have ever gone loony, I have most certainly not been getting enough. See scientific or what?? Note to self: clean up dirty, repulsive mind, or find way of expressing it without grossing out everyone else in world

Have decided that I can't afford to go to London or out in Canterbury as planned. I have NO money until next Friday. I am going to be bored! No sex, no fun, no drinking.... aaaaahhhhh.....

The Interview

I didn't really know how it went. Then at the end of my shift I was taken to a back room with Stacey and Patricia, and we were all excepted for a permanent job!!!! Yes as of the 14th I will no longer be a slave/temp!!! *does little dance*

If This Ain't Love

My trip to London this weekend seems to be about as likely as the Palestianians and Israelis living in peace. Possible but not bloody likely! Which is a shame. I don't quite know why it may not go ahead. Just haven't heard anything from the people I am supposed to be staying with, and my funds, thanks to that bout of flu are low/non existent.

I am going out with Becky tonight, to catch up, and have some Stella.... mmm....

I am still coughing like a maniac (and Jason, what does that mean??).

I really can't wait to have my own place. There'll be a stock of Jack Daniels, Stella, and Diet Coke. No computer for a while, which means no blogging!!! Eek.... And no cats, which means no smelliness! Well ok, it means LESS smelliness. Oh and I will be free to bring blokes back to my place and do what I want, which I haven't been able to do since I was 16/17.

I had a long phone conversation with Stephen last night, during which I became aware just how much I owe that boy! When we first started dating I
was completely unassuming, quiet, and I was adamant that I was Jason firstly, and being gay was just an insignificant part of me.

Now? Thanks mainly to Stephen, I am loud, camp, and I am adamant that I am gay and Jae is just an insignificant part of that. But he did say that I had changed him slightly. Hmm...

Just got back from Bill's house with the sliding gates and the hugeness... who needs 3 sofas in one room???

Whoosh!

Ok after a very wierd dream yesterday morning, I went to work, got bored, attempted not to spend all my money on nothing... failed.... got home, found step dad had double locked front door so I couldn't get in. Grr.... Zoe, Elliot and John arrived and saved me, and off we went to the cinema. Elliot pulled faces at lorry drivers all the way there....

Went and saw "Rules of Attraction" which although basically crap, was random enough and pointless enough to strike and chord and I ended up loving it. Specially when old people walked out half way through. Hehehe.... And it had men kissing in it... so it rules....

Stephen texted me that he got off with a skater boi on Monday... am not happy.... :op

Tired, very tired...... got permanent job interview on Friday just did my CV.... am bored of job already.... but it pays...

The Limit

Now it has been the case that I had imposed a height limit on new people I went out with. It was 6'2", it was that or some types of sex became uncomfortable. But (oh yeah should warn you readers, this is one of those sex post thingys) as in the last week or so I've gone from "versatile" to "prefer top" I am lowering the height limit. And the age limit too. Age limit was "older than me" it's now 16. This opens up a whole new world of people I can scare!! Yay!

Am sssooo bored... don't make me go to work.. please... they don't have cute men there any more, so I have no one to take the boredom away. And Stacey and I have been seperated..... to keep the office noise level to decent levels. Grrr.....