Wednesday, November 27, 2002


I am having trouble getting on to karen's site. Will someone please let me know she is ok? Much obliged.

I am unhappy today (shock horror, get the violins boys!). I have decided to see the Eurotunnel thing out till the end. I might as well. Even tho the job is getting me down.

My house was created for midgets. The bath is like way too small for me to bathe in, the shelves are all like three feet off the ground and door hadles more like 2 and a 1/2. The lights hang no higher than six foot off the ground.... I am going insane here!!

I think me and Stephen have broken up. I am more upset by that than I am willing to let on.

Do you think I should try being straight for a while? It would be so much easier than fighting on. I feel no connection to most people, because I can't understand them. I want to actually have something in common with every one else. Yesterday for instance every five minutes (almost literally) people at work kept coming up to me and going "wanna come give blood on Friday?".

"sorry I can't."

"Oh yes you can! Come one everyones going it'l be a laugh!"

"No really I can't. I am gay, and the homophobic powers that be reckon all gay men are diseased animals. Thus I am banned from giving blood."

"Oh sorry.... erm.... see you later......"

I look at my family, at people I meet, and I just feel so isolated. And I have so far not met any gay guy who either doesn't hate me or doesn't want to have sex with me. I just want a friend, one who understands!! My straight friends are brilliant and really try. But..... oh I don't know I am just speaking jibberish (no change there then)

Right that is it. Shall become asexual hermit refered to as "scary giant guy" by the kids down the road.......

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