My cold is still here. When it came time to leave for work this morning I spent a good 3 minutes convincing myself I wasn't going to go in before I headed out to the train station.
I get to the train station and get in the queue for train tickets. Normally I go to the machine but I didn't have much time and I'd only got a note so ticket booth it was. I'd seen the two guys in front of me yesterday and had spotted them as being highly common teenagers... spotty, stupid and irksome. One gets to the booth and gets his ticket while the other waits behind him, he looks round and sees how tall I am... and laughs.
Now he was at least a foot smaller than me and about half my weight, and at least 4 years younger than me. I stood up to my full height (I slouch... so sue me!) and he stopped laughing and looked away quite quickly. But he had made me SO angry. I stood there and had to stop myself from saying something or doing something I might regret. I had to actually clutch my coiled fists at my side, which is not a level of anger I'm used to experiencing.
I felt as though I wanted him dead. And I don't mean that in the abstract "I wish he'd just die" kind of way. I felt as though I could quite happily snap his thin uglylittle neck right there and then. I couldn't read my book all the way to work as I focussed on trying not to be angry, knowing it was such a little thing. But I just couldn't believe he had the audacity to laugh at me, someone who goes out of his way not to bother others. Who did he think he was?
And now I feel stupid; stupid for even contemplating violence when I know it never solves anything and would just make me as bad as 90% of the population (a fate worse than death in my snobby opinion). And stupid for letting someone so spotty, ugly, rude, arrogant, short, common and just plan stupid annoy me. I'm Jae, I'm a good person, and I am better than scum like him.
Needless to saying feeling absolutely rubbish because of this cold probably helped tip me closer to the edge than normal. Roll on home time, only about 9 hours to go. *sob*