Friday, January 17, 2003

Nothing Standing In My Way

This is so different to my blog entry one year ago isn't it? ....... see it here

In brief: after work last night got Legally Blonde from Blockbusters and me and Zoe watched it over my place (hence the title). V. funny.

Mum and Tony have just finished a bloody huge argument over money in the kitchen. Joy.

I think I may want to learn to drive. Why? Well the other night I had a dream about Grandad and Derek (please note the following morning Grandad was taken into hospital.... nothing serious thank the gods), and I remembered how much fun I had there, and I remembered how free I felt there. And I want to try and recreate that feeling here, and getting a car would at least get me some of the freedom that I had there. Although it would go against my religious principles. Hmmm.....

Grandad and Derek....... they live in a small cottage in the middle of nowhere in Suffolk. It has old MGs strewn across the drive, discarded projects of my Grandads. Some of the windows are broken, and have been for years. Nothing is used to cover them. The place smells..... lived in. Not bad, quite good in fact. The sofa is misshapen from years of different bums sitting in it. Down its sides are mystery objects (that is Dereks underwear, and a few old school textbooks). Dereks room (where I stay when I visit) is ssssoooo cool. Movie posters fill every space on the walls and ceiling. His collection of movies is unsurpassed. And he has seen about every single Hollywood movie ever made. And there is at least three computers in every room.... again discarded projects of my grandad. They even have a Commodore 64 in there living room (Chuckie Egg playage!).

Best of all are their two cats.... Cat and Fluff..... they rock..... Nobody bothers too much about cleaning, or worrying... It is my perfect home. I hate this house. All anyone thinks about is cleaning, tidying, moaning, and most importantly Keeping Up With The Joneses. It is less a house more a showroom to say "Hey look we are Middle Class now, come see how much better we are for it". I suppose it is because of our working class backgrounds. Mum and Tony are way too worried about being consumerist than they are about being happy, and having a good laugh.

Now I have been positive for about 17 days now. I have not allowed depression into my head this year. In one more year my debts will be gone, and I will finally be free once more. Free just to be happy! I look forward to that day so much.

*sings* It's gonna be a perfect day.... nothing standing in my way....

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