An Insight

During my trip to my Mums a couple of weeks back I discovered my Nan's view on my sexuality. According to Mum she thinks "it's just a phase".

It hurts a little to think she believes that but then again she does believe that God is an alien after reading Chariots of the Gods so maybe I shouldn't worry too much.

I think it quite amusing when people dismiss my sexuality as a phase or, even more amusingly, as a choice. My sexuality is just as valid as yours, so bugger off and leave me alone!



Rafael Verga... yum! If my sexuality was some kind of illness why do I find every single part of that mans body attractive? Surely if my brain has gone a bit wrong I'd only find parts of him attractive and still find some female bodies appealing? It wouldn't be the exact polar opposite surely? Unless my brain was meant to be routed like this. Which, of course, I think it was... yummy men.

Technorati Tags: Gay

Hyde Park To Home

Trying not to think about work. Trying not to think about work.

I went to Hyde Park for a picnic yesterday with Paul, Kallie and Steve. It was cool, although weird things that happened:

1) Kallie wandered off into some bushes to our left and return from our right. Freaky

2) A gay couple came and sat near us with two puppies. By the time they left said puppies were wearing t shirts.

3) Three gay guys walked past wearing very little clothing and looked a lot like they were in a Pride March... Hyde Park Pride??

4) Everyone was wandering around with oversized sticks.

After that we wandered through London all the way to Leicester Square and we had some drinks there before heading home.

A good day.

I am not at work. I am not at work. I am on a deserted island with Brent Corrigan and a rugby team. They have Staropramen on tap. I am not at work.

Phase 1

I've just realised I haven't told you something Dear Constant Reader! And well I need to get some thoughts down as well so now is probably the best time to let you know.

Last week I decided to leave my job. And to ensure that I actually went through with it (you know my usual half baked, never see through planning style) I told everyone. That way it'd be more embarrassing to stay.

I first thought I was leaving the job because I hated it. But that's not true. I hate the person I've become while doing the job (and sadly outside of it).

There are things I liked about myself that I've lost in the last two years. I never used to swear. I'd swear occasionally but only if very angry. It was a good warning system for those who knew me that now was the time to leave the immediate area. Now I swear far too much. It's very unpleasant. I don't like it.

Then there is the selfishness that pervades the environment I work in. I don't think it's unique to the company I work for, but something universal across all corporate office environments. People are there only because they want to be richer. End of. Money has never been my favourite thing. In fact, money and I haven't been on speaking terms for some time. I feel this selfishness breeding in me. I ponder my next pay rise, wonder about the next promotion and even sometimes feel jealous of those who are doing “better” than me.

Don't worry Dear Constant Reader I haven't completely gone down that road just yet. Those are but fleeting emotions at the moment. My main emotions are still amusement watching these wannabes and gladness that it isn't me having to brown nose. I am still Jae after all!

But I don't want to go any further towards becoming a corporate drone with no soul. Life is short and I've got things better than money to hold my attention.

And being in customer services yet again has driven my internal hatred of others to new and terrible depths. I'm glad I've been able to get out of thinking everyone is better than me. I know that is absolutely not true. But now I'm heading away into thinking everyone is worse than me. I get really stressed in public places because of “the idiots” who can't walk properly, can't talk properly, can't etc...

I need to get into a job where I am helping others, learning to like other people again, learning that not everyone is scum.

I have realised several things about myself thanks to the last two years:

1)money doesn't entice me that much. Give me a pay rise, it will make me happy for a day. It doesn't have a lasting affect.
2)Promotion is not something I care about. I think I've let myself fall into the same trap that forced me to accept a place at university; the feeling that I am on a conveyor belt heading in one direction and I just have to stay on board. We are all brought up to believe that moving up the career ladder and earning more money makes you a better person. It doesn't. Money doesn't make me happy, and I'd rather be a better person than a better employee.
3)The only thing that will make me happy at work is making others feel good about themselves. I can't feel happy when being overtly selfish. My brain points out the selfishness of what I am doing and ruins it for us both. So the only way to be happy is to help others, thus tricking my brain into thinking it is being selfless while actually only doing it because it makes me feel good. Mwhahahahaha. Jae 1 Brain 0
4)I truly hate consumerism. The whole thing smells. I don't want to be part of it anymore. I hate people wanting, wanting, wanting. I hate having to be nice to rude people. I hate having to put up with people saying stupid things and not correcting them because I want their money. Also, as a sidenote, I really must stop reading moany blog posts about bad customer service as it makes my blood boil and makes me just want to shout “It's a bloody ! If you wanted it to work like that you should of made it yourself, stop complaining and relying on other people to serve your every want!!” Communism was bad, but it had some up sides.

So this week I write a Plan (Amaechi inspired. Must not read autobiographies, they give me ideas) about what I want to achieve with my life, and how I want to achieve. I don't want to sell my soul (mainly because I've already sold it to Elliot for 5p many years ago) just to make ends meet.

The Shakespeare Code: Doctor Who 3.2

Episode 2 of Doctor Who Series 3 was on last night; as usual it ticked all the boxes. I am really beginning to love Martha. I will admit it took me a long time to accept Rose as a companion (probably because I am an old time Doctor Who fan with all the preconceptions that brings). But Martha I've taken to quickly. She is very much a strong woman, and when someone is in danger she's running just as quickly as the Doctor to help them. This is probably due to the character having a medical background, it wouldn't really be believable to have her standing to the side ineffectually when someone collapses in front of her.

The story wasn't bad either. Shakespeare as played by the rather dishy Dean Lennox Kelly to great effect. Only let down was the sci fi explanation for the witches, couldn't they just have been witches rather than aliens from the beginning of the universe. And note to self: never take a vacation to the beginning of the universe it sounds like an horrendous place, with the Racnoss and the Carrionites among the inhabitants. Eek!

I just loved the ending when Queen Elizabeth turns up and starts screaming that the Doctor is her mortal enemy and chases Martha and him back to the TARDIS, much to their confusion. It's nice to see that kind of thing from time to time, the Doctor has met pretty much everyone so he is going to be recognised occasionally!

David Tennant was his usual genius self.


Sidenote

Now people (Jim stop reading here, I forgive you!)... after the episode I went onto the the Gallifrey One forums and had to resist leaving nasty messages for people. Some suggested that having pissed off both Queen Elizabeth and Queen Victoria the Doctor only needed to annoy the current Queen to get a complete set. I think that said people think that England and Britain have only had three queens. If we ignore the Scots (sorry!) there's been Empress Matilda, Lady Jane Grey, Mary I, Elizabeth I, Mary II, Anne, Victoria and Elizabeth II (I'm sorry but Queen James I doesn't count!). Considerably more than 3! Cretins! Others asked whether Victoria was an ancestor of Queen Elizabeth I (and yes they really meant that, they said something like is Queen Elizabeth descended from that Queen the Doctor pissed off last season). I can forgive not being able to place your own country on a map, I can forgive not knowing about the War of 1812 or about the role of our Empire in the second world war. But I cannot forgive not knowing the Kings and Queens of England and Britain. Does it really take more than a minute to check this stuff on Wikipedia??? No... so no excuse... grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

Who can name all the monarchs since Henry VII? No cheating!
Technorati Tags: Doctor Who

Shakes Head In Horror

I can't bring myself to write a proper post but let me just say two things:

1) how can it take someone 10 minutes to work out how to use a cash machine?
2) am I the only person who can name all the monarchs of this country since William the Conqueror? What was everyone bloody doing during Primary School history??????? (The Doctor met Queen Elizabeth this episode and I am horrified by some of the stupid comments at Gallifrey One).

More on the Doctors latest adventure tomorrow...

At The Car Wash

Today. After some Hot Cross Buns Jim and I went to the hand car wash in Lewisham, just under the railway bridge. Jim had recommended it as it is staffed by some lovely Polish blokes. And it was indeed eye candy heaven. First off we were treated to a good scrubbing down my a large armed hunk before some cute slim guys cleaned the insides. We stood behind them so that were out of the way (and had a good view of their arses). I would have paid just to visit, the superb cleaning the car we got was just a bonus! That large armed bloke is going to be in my dreams for quite some time!

We then headed to Tesco's. Dear Lord! Does anyone ever think about other people? Trolleys just thrown into the trolley bays (I tidied them up), people just spread out across aisles with no thought for others getting past and others just standing around as if Tesco's was some kind of community centre for the intellectually challenged. My number one rule in my public life is to think of others in every action I make. Whether it's where I stand on the train or having my money ready when I reach the checkout I think life is so much nicer when you try to not cause trouble. Hell truly is other people.

I have just checked out all the Democratic candidates for President's political views and I don't like any of them! I am glad I don't live in America and have to decide between that abysmal bunch or vote Republican (eek... I just felt my stomach turn in revulsion).

Not that things are going to be much better over here. We've gonna have (probably) Gordon Brown versus David Cameron. Talk about a rock and hard place. The Lib Dems it is for me again (being a card carrying, but reluctant member). Just wish they would get off their arses here in Greenwich (and get Lynne Beaumont as their PPC in Folkestone, she rocks!) We need a Libertarian Party!

Dream ticket: President Al Gore and Prime Minister Menzies Campbell. Imagine the good things that could get done with a team like that! Let's start a transnational campaign for the Gore/Campbell ticket!

Technorati : gay

Britain - How Did It Come To This?

Does anyone else feel like Britain has allowed itself to be fucked over by the Iranians? They abducted 15 naval personnel, used them for their own purposes, made a show of strength and then released them "as a gesture of goodwill" (i.e. We fucked you over, and don't forget it). What did we do? Nothing.

Now I don't blame the personnel for cooperating with their captors. According to our Navel Correspondent Jim, this is standard operating procedure. What I do have problems with is the anaemic response from the Government and the dangerous loss of face for the country.

People are congratulating the Government for avoiding a conflict by not being aggressive. What I don't think they grasp is that a conflict has been avoided for now, but the loss of face we have suffered means it's more likely other countries will take the piss and eventually a conflict will occur.

Let's look at our history. After withdrawing from the Empire and the Suez Crisis Britain lost it's way in the world. The lack of a will to show we would defend ourselves left the Argentinians with the opinion that they could just invade the Falklands and we wouldn't do anything about it. Nearly 1000 people died because of our failure to make it clear we would use force to protect our people.

Other countries have seen that an aggressive action against British forces will not be punished in anyway. Have we punished Iran at all? Diplomatically? Financially? No. Has Iran's standing increased? Yes. They are shown to be a strong, no nonsense defender of their borders (let's not get into the whole debate over where the Brits were).

Now the idiotic people of this country are moaning about the conduct of the captured men and women. Who cares? They did what they had to to ensure their survival. I would expect nothing less. What really matters is what our Government didn't do, the shame of what Iran has done to us. This focus on the people rather than the politics is just another symptom of this countries twisted logic that will ultimately lead to some despot fucking us over big style.

Oh how easy it used to be

Technorati : britain, iran, navy

Homosexuality More Dangerous Than Smoking

Or more like how statistics mean nothing.

See the news story here, and the full report here. So the report is based on many things but the headline grabbing part is based on statistics from Norway and Denmark. Interesting statistics indeed... however let's say a few things about them.

1) We don't get given a breakdown of causes of death... for all we know being gay just makes you more likely to be beaten to death than married people. I'm not suggesting that's the case but how can we judge what the statistics mean if we don't have that info. For all we know all the gays were smokers!!

2) OK, I feel that the studies not properly weighted. There were 333, 336 hetero men + 353,483 hetero women (Denmark) against 561 gay men + 91 gay women. Then there were 110, 031 hetero men + 117, 833 hetero women (Norway) against 31 gay men + 6 gay women. Even going by the 1 percent of the population figure bandied about in this report the representation of homosexuals was well below their actual presence in the population versus heterosexuals used. So I don't trust these figures one bit. Why not actually do a survey of gay men against heterosexual men rather than married men versus partnered ones. What length of time were these partnerships versus the marriages? Marriages are known to have health benefits but I suspect you need to be in one for quite a while for these benefits to take affect... Denmark didn't legalise registered partnerships until recently... etc etc...

3) Using Washington Post and Washington Blade Obituaries to assess the general population is a bit like using the Who's Who guide to formulate general economic policy for the whole population.

I'm not even a mathematician and these are the problems I've spotted after one reading of just this part of the report (I read the rest but didn't pay much attention).

Christians... get some science!

Thanks to Garibaldi Gay

Technorati : gay

I Know Someone Who Is On Telly!

RJ, formally of work fame, is on the Real Hustle right now... so cool... You didn't get scammed mister, they were far too nice to you!

John Amaechi's Man In The Middle

I'm currently reading John Amaechi's autobiography "Man In The Middle". It's bloody good! He comes across as a very sweet, and clever, guy.

It's also pretty interesting reading about another guy discovering his sexuality, something that seems to have happened very late for him (in my opinion anyway!). I finally admitted to myself I was gay when I was 14, and couldn't imagine having gone any longer without dealing with it. I suppose he did have a bit more to think about, being a mentor and a basketball player all while studying at uni! When did you finally accept your sexuality?

Technorati Tags: Gay

The Falklands Anniversary

25 years ago today Argentina invaded a group of islands thousands of miles away from Britain in the misguided belief that we would abandon our countrymen who lived there. We did not, and we turned their act of aggression into a national reawakening from the slow death we had been suffering since the end of our empire.

There are many who say that we should never have fought the Falkland Islands War. They saw it as an act of outdated imperialist aggression, carried out by the Thatcher Government to save face. I will not deny that I'm sure Thatcher thought about how good it'd look to win a war but we must consider other factors. 1) the population of the Falkland Islands DID NOT want to be invaded by the Argentinians let alone become part of Argentina. 2) Argentina was a dictatorship at the time, and since that dictatorship fell we have discovered it committed many atrocities. We went to war in Iraq for less. 3) An invasion is an act of aggression, which must not be allowed to go unpunished. 4) This was a blatant disrespectful act against our nation and allowing that to go unpunished would have just have given the impression other countries could do what they wanted to us.

I love reading historians views that if Thatcher had only told the Argentinians we would fight back if they invaded they would never have invaded at all. The idea that a country should need to be told there would be consequences for invading another countries territory is a little absurd and shows how stupid the military dictatorship in Argentina was. And how dumb our country and America have been of late!

Let us remember those who gave their lives for the Falkland Islanders freedom and let us not forget that the Argentinians still claim the islands. Bastards. You'd think the thrashing they got would have been lesson enough. If they're not careful we'll have to send Max Hastings back.

Technorati : argentina, falkland islands

Smith And Jones: Doctor Who 3.1

Doctor Who Series 3 begun last night. It was good. But it wasn't anything spectacular and I'm starting to worry a little about the series direction.

Firstly Freema as Martha was awesome. I have a feeling I'm going to like this more grown up companion that she is portraying. She was strong, clever but suffering from a severe case of "family". Loved her. On a side note is "Did I mention it's a time machine?" the Doctors favourite chat up line? He used it on Rose and now on Martha. The saucy fellow!

Secondly. The plot was ok. Sadly it suffered from an extreme case of silliness. I love silliness, but I think the Doctor is meant to be the silly one. The plot is meant to be somewhat serious. Can I really believe that the Earth was going to be destroyed by a converted MRI machine, while the villain will survive because she is standing behind a screen?? We've had way too many of these idiotic plot devices over the last two series and at first they were sweet. But it's time to get serious, kids are not dumb! Start treating them, and us old style Dr Who fans, with a little respect. The straw was an acceptable wacky touch (DW is lovably wacky) but the MRI machine was one step too far.

Loved the Judoon and I liked Florence Finnigan (although I spotted the Doctor blood swap plot as soon as I realised what she was doing with Mr Stokers blood). I'm a bit worried about The Shakespeare Code, it looks a lot like Tooth and Claw (it's even the second episode of the season again!). If RTD is going to insist of quotas of certain types of episodes he could at least move them around in the showing line up just to make it look like he isn't??? Love you RTD, but try to shake things up a bit before everyone starts to be able to predict the plots.

Technorati : doctor who

My Baby Is Home

And He Brought Reeses.

And movies.

And Hunter Parrish.



One of the above may be a lie (says Jason while eating Reeses and watching movies).

I did a tidy bedroom thing yesterday. Wow.. what a difference!

Now everyone remain calm. Doctor Who is on tonight.

The Ordeal

I hate visiting the barbers. It's true. I don't know why but I've got several theories:

1) allowing a perfect stranger to get up close and intimate while in the possession of scissors and automatic moving blades. 2) having to keep up a conversation for half an hour with a perfect stranger, when you dislike small talk intensely. 3) sitting in a chair made for midgets while a woman half your size attempts to direct you to move your head up and down and to sit lower in the chair so she can just reach your hair on tip toes. 4) men waiting at the barbers tend to take on the least appealing male characteristics; a loud love of football, stupidity and a deep and impassioned defense of territory.

The only good thing is that the barbers is the last place in the country where the power of the British queueing system still holds complete authority. Just you try to go before someone else! EVIL STARE OF DOOM FOR YOU! Oh let's take our mind of this and look upon someone gorgeous...

Oh my God... I've managed to avoid day time TV all week... until today. OH MY GOD! Do people actually watch this? Property shows, This Morning, and the promise of Loose Women... oh no... AH but here is Anthony Stewart Head to save us...

Why do people watch property shows??? My brain starts to seep out of my ear at the mere mention of anything less than Grand Designs (which is just about bearable as it's about slightly interesting properties). Oh wow! It's another BOG STANDARD semi detached house. It's not like I see one of those a million times a day!

Sad News: I've gone off Charles Dera. I've seen him in straight porn and discovered to my horror that there is nothing that puts me off a guy more than seeing him having sex with a woman (it also put me off my dinner). Eww... It gives me a whole new respect for Ex Gays.

Technorati : charles dera, charlie simpson

Sliders - So Much Potential

With so much time on my hands and so much cleaning to do I needed some work displacement activity... and found it in Sliders. Oh how I used to love this show. I love it despite it's obvious faults, and just wish the bloody network had let it live up to it's potential.

Imagine the limitless possibilities... and we got two dino worlds in just five seasons! Scandalous!

There could have been a topless Jerry O'Connell world!!



Or maybe just a Brent Everett world, filled with clones...



Oh Brent Everett... I'm starting to remember why I fell in love with you before Brent Corrigan...

Technorati Tags: Gay

Sailor Confesses Guilt

It will be interesting to see this sailor explain this when she returns.

And would the media stop harping on about how she is a female and a mother and a wife. The 14 other sailors are probably sons, husbands and fathers as well, let us try not to forget about them! Fucking biased media.

And Tony Blair? Could you perhaps nuke Iran to teach them a valuable lesson? Oh sorry is the kidnap of our people not quite a sufficient reason to go to war, completely different to the weapons of mass destruction Saddam had...

Back From Folkestone

Monday I buggered off to Lympne to annoy my parental units. The family seem happy to see me, the cats seemed quietly pleased and Noodles the dog was so happy she peed herself. Nice to know I have that affect. Spent a few hours beating my brother and sister at Mario Vs Luigi on the DS before Sam arrived to take me off on my first of three meetings.

Sam, along with Mike, took me to the Tiger Inn. It's a pub in Stowting. Previously Stowting had been known me only as being tremendously small and for having the smallest school I'd ever seen (along with the smallest game of netball I've ever attended in the smallest playground ever). The Tiger Inn was actually quite nice, there was a jazz band and hops sprinkled liberally over the walls and in my lager. Sam amazed me with his funny stories (he really needs to get a podcast!). Thanks for the evening Sam.

Went home slept, woke up on Tuesday and basked in the glory of Sky Digital for five minutes before realising the universal truth that there is nothing ever good on telly. Headed to town and wandered around for a while, up to the Leas, down Remembrance Hill around the harbour. Folkestone looks nice when you don't live there. Met Laura and had lunch with her. It was brilliant to have a good couple of hours chat with her. Went home, thrashed George on Mario Vs Luigi before Zoe arrived and I went to Bar Vasa with her.

Bar Vasa's food sure is NICE! I don't think I've ever had a bad meal there.

It was great to see Zoe.

And then today I headed back here to home, and realised as we passed London Bridge that I finally felt like I was properly coming home for once. London. Home. Sheesh... who would have thought!

I Wish I Was 14 Again

I hate growing up. I really do. Just watching Buffy at the mo, getting all nostalgic for the late '90s and for Xander and Riley...



You know, being a teenager wasn't all bad. Sure the manic depressive outbursts and the whole coming out thing weren't fun. But the being naive, and everything feeling a bit like an adventure, was pretty darn nifty.

Being a grown up is just not the same. Nearly 24... :(

Oh well.. at least I still have the mental age of a 12 year old. Being mature is soooo overrated. Life, after all, is too short.

Oh, I've stopped myself eating snacks to try and lose some weight as promised in my New Years Resolutions... God, it's amazing how hungry I get... Growl!

Technorati Tags: Gay

Jae Has Been To The Tate Modern

After a plan to have a picnic in Hyde Park fell into disarray John salvaged the day but suggesting we go to the Tate Modern. I duly met John, Vixie, Elliot and couple of their mates at the gallery.

It's been a whole since I've last been there and I'm afraid I'm gonna have to make an embarrassing confession. I'm going to sound very uncool and caveman like but... I just don't get it. I'm not saying everything was horrible. There were some works there that I absolutely adored. But 90% of the art in there I can say I disliked. I'm more your realism kinda guy. Boring but true.

One work, however, I can see I truly, deeply love is Rodin's "The Kiss". It works on two levels for me... I think it is a gorgeous piece of art portraying a romantic embrace. And on a more puerile level Paolo is the perfect man. Those thighs, those arms and that back... oh he is just BEAUTIFUL. It was a good few hours anyway, nice to see them all.

First In, Last Out

Sorry for my two days of blog slackness. I have been busy at work. Sorrrrrrrrrrrry.

Went out drinking with work last night and for the first time since I joined the company I picked up the tab. It's not so much fun drinking alcohol paid for on your card. Oh well. Expenses will fix that problem... I arrived at the pub first and was the last to leave. Customer Services represent!

I have now got two weeks off work. I am going to spend the weekend tidying the flat (very slowly...) then Monday I'm going to plonk myself on a train back to the wilds of Kent. Mum phoned me on Thursday to say my sisters horse had to be put down. My little sister is going to be soooo upset it's unreal. All she does is talk about her horse. :( Beth, if I ever get enough money I will buy you another horse.

I have found a new addiction. Facebook. Being that I work with loads of Americans I had always thought of Facebook as an American college thing. Even when I heard it had opened up to everyone I still didn't bother checking it out. So when I heard Pete and Paul at work talking about it on Thursday I didn't pay much attention.

Then yesterday Kallie ordered me to sign up so she could add me as friend so I did. And within seconds of her adding me Sarina had too, and by the time I had responded to her I'd been added by a couple of more people. It snowballed from there... :S

Add me if you want to.

Isn't Myspace rubbish? It's so slow, it's so ugly, and it's owned by Murdoch. Come over to Facebook where it's nice and clean and fast and fun.

Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Read The Mirror

After the fall of Piers Morgan (someone I am unable to stand for more than a few seconds) I had considered the Mirror to be the best of the red tops, and would happily choose it if placed in that most hideous position of only red tops to read. NO LONGER! They are just as bad as the Sun!

They again accuse the BBC of duping the public over Scoochs song. Lies, lies and damn lies! Just see my last post. Grr... Now what am I going to read in the greasy cafe????

Flying the Flag is available to buy on iTunes. I beg you Dear Constant Reader to go and buy it before this Sunday, and to tell everyone you know to... Support the (Eurovision) Troops!!!

I really, really miss Jim. I've been doing 12 hour days at work trying to get my projects finished before tomorrow... (EEK!) and coming home to no Jim is just really making this one of the worst weeks in a long time. Without him to cuddle up to work kinda makes me sad.

Love ya Jim!

Technorati Tags: Gay

Leave Scooch Alone!

OK people. This is getting silly. Some blogs (and some particularly useless news organisations) are actually believing the Justin Hawkins lies that Scooch tricked the public by not showing their backing singers. Let me address this now

1) We knew they had backing singers.
2) The Eurovision rules state that they are allowed up to six band members.
3) I don't think the dance routine would have looked too good in front of two motionless backing singers hence why they were not on stage. It's called "entertainment".

All I see on the Youtube comments and in the blogosphere is despair that Scooch won. Tough luck folks, they did. They won because a majority of voters wanted them to. Now it's time to suck up the bile and get on with supporting them, just as I had to with that god awful Daz Sampson rubbish. Sorry to dis you Daz, you were a good bloke. But I never really did like your song...

Flying the Flag is a fun song, from a fun group who are proud to go to Eurovision for their country. Bid them well, for no matter how badly they do they are flying our flag remember!

And the Mirror needs to lighten up!

Technorati Tags: eurovision

Guy Burnet and Some Sour Grapes

Oh Wow! Once upon a time I used to watch Hollyoaks just for Guy Burnet. And I'm lead to believe his character Craig in Hollyoaks is about to have a gay relationship. Sweet dreams are mad of this! The actor playing his on screen beau, James Sutton, is also rather dishy. So I'll be catching up on Hollyoaks for the next few months...

Aww... poor little innocent Justin Hawkins and Brian Harvey aren't happy to have been beaten in a fair fight with Scooch. Now let's not be too mean to them both but sheesh... they were worse singers than Scooch that night! I agree with Esctoday.com's article... Beverlei Brown was the highlight of Justin's performance.

And racism?? Oh Justin please, how low can sink before reaching the absolute bottom of your steep journey back to obscurity?! Out of the last three acts one was Javine! Now if I remember correctly she was a gorgeous black girl... And in the last ten acts there has been 2 black soloists (Imaani, we love you!) and Precious who had a black member. That's a pretty high representation so I don't think racism is an issue.

Sour grapes? I think that might be closer to the truth!

I miss Jim. :(

Technorati : eurovision, guy burnet, hollyoaks, justin hawkins, scooch

Does Anyone Care??

No offense but will the BBC give it a rest?. Sir Terry made a mistake, he's over it, the fans are over it, I don't here poor Cyndi querying it and I sure don't hear Scooch complaining? So why do they keep bringing it up?? Come on BBC, time to put that in the past and start bigging up Scooch! Send them to Europe, fly them to the capitals for open air concerts! Promote them until the the very last second! Let's get over the error and let's get that bloody trophy!

Technorati Tags: Eurovision

Leave Terry Alone

Poor Terry Wogan hasn't been having a very good week. He has responded to criticism of the Making Your Mind Up gaffe when he accidentally announced the wrong winner. It's a mistake, move on.

However I am a bit preturbed to see posts making fun of Fearne Cotton for the mistake. If you are going to make fun of someone about making a mistake maybe you should get your own facts right... DUMB! I've seen at least three blog posts making fun of her so far. Did they watch the programme??

We love you Terry!

Technorati Tags: Eurovision

Flying

Jim left the country today for two weeks in Boston, USA. :( I will miss him so much, even though he probably won't believe that. Love you Jim. xxx

Today is Mothering Sunday so I have spent the day with my mother and family down in Lympne. OK... traveling by train is getting silly. The service is fine, but the passengers are so dumb it hurts. I arrived at Greenwich station to find a group of nine fully grown adults gathered around a ticket machine unable to work out how to work it. It turns out these were actually 3 separate parties so I can't blame genetics. Perhaps Southeastern need to start night courses on their machines for the deeply dumb? After sorting them out I stood in my normal spot on the station whereupon someone asked me what platform was for London Bridge. I looked above me and checked the Departures board was working. It was. I pointed at it (not more than a foot above my head, if they were looking up anyway they must have been able to see it) and said pointedly "THIS ONE".

It was, however, lovely to see my family and I look forward to going back down in a weeks time for a few days with them. Glad to see Angel cat still remembers me. Less pleased to see Noodles the dog still remembers me. More pleased to note Tinkerbell cat treats me as a mere stroking machine and doesn't give a damn who I am. \

Having had time to ponder the Scooch victory I see it as being quite startingly out of line with the last few songs. I wonder if the public weren't just sick of the celebrities turning every television show into another edition of the soap opera of their lives. Brian Harvey, Big Brovaz, Justin Hawkins and, to a lesser extent, Liz from Atomic Kitten are all tired celebrities being wheeled out to give them one more chance. Maybe that is what lead to a Cyndi and Scooch sing off. I, for one, am totally bored of seeing failed celebrities constantly trying to reinvent themselves. There is a reason they are failed celebrities.

Now Scooch could be considered as doing exactly what I just moaned about except ask a group of people and almost all of them will never have heard of them before. So I wouldn't call them celebrities. ;)

Scooch, I am 100% behind you but I do have one reservation... PLEASE DON'T DO A JEMINI! PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE. Now let's see the video!

How can to you not love that?

Technorati Tags: Gay

And The Winner Is....

Scooch and Cyndi were through to the final sing off... I almost fainted. No Hawkins, No Big Brovaz. Thank the Lord I thought! A dream ticket..

And then Terry announced it was Cyndi... cool I thought.... HE WAS WRONG! Scooch won! Oh poor Cyndi... Terry that was MEAN! But my heart jumped! THIS IS GREAT!

See Scooch's Myspace page for more...

COME ON BRITAIN! Come on Scooch, we love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Technorati : eurovision, united kingdom

Making Your Mind Up - It's Time!

You gotta speed it up, and then you gotta slow it down
Coz if you believe that our love can hit the top
You gotta play around
But soon you will find that there comes a time
For Making Your Mind Up

Well Hawkins and Brown are tipped to win. But it's still up to us to decide... here's what I thought of the acts. The final result is just a couple of hours away.

"Why don't we invade the Balkans?" - I LOVE TERRY WOGAN!

Audience is a bit dull... but this is being filmed in Maidstone... come on Kent show some vigour!

Liz McClarnon - (Don't It Make You) Happy!

Very Dusty. I like it. Good voice, good looks, catchy? Maybe not. But hey certainly a good start to the show!

Ooo... John Barrowman is judging. PHWOAH. And it's Mel! Oh I love her hat....

Brian Harvey - I Can

A "colourful few years" since leaving East 17? Terry you are being very reserved for once! Embarassed by Bucks Fizz? Bless...

I feel sorry for him but he can't seem to hold a tune, his voice keeps breaking and this song is just not doing anything for me.

Painful.

Big Brovaz - Big Bro Thing

I think it probably was quite good but this is soooo not my sort of thing. Got the Indigo feel about it (Indigo being a crap nightclub down in Folkestone).

Eurovis... love it Mel!

Cyndi - I'll Leave My Heart

Bonnie, Bonnie Banks of Loch Lomond anyone? Good, not Eurovision material I'm afraid. But she seems really nice and wow, she can sing.

Scooch - Flying The Flag (For You)

Never going to win. Jim hates it....

I LOVE IT. Thank you Scooch... I've missed you!!

Proud to be British.. you go Mr Barrowman!

Hawkins and Brown - They Don't Make 'Em Like They Used To

I've put three quid on this. Even though it is bollocks. The British public will pick this because they know Hawkins. I don't like him.

Liz is the one I want to win because I think she could do us proud. Scooch is the act my gay little heart wants to win, just because I love them.

Technorati : big brovaz, eurovision, making your mind up, scooch
Del.icio.us : eurovision

One More Week

Yesterday... I don't know how I got that drunk. Honestly. I only had a few. Just a few.

But let's go back to yesterday lunchtime first for a story of horror, pain and disgust. I went to the vegetarian cafe. I haven't been in over a year and I think some strange force over took me when I agreed to go with Paul, Kallie, Jessica and Simon. Imagine walking into someone's front room. That's what walking into the veggie cafe is like. Imagine a woman named Naked Ruby not finishing her meal so popping outside to scrap it into the gutter. That is the veggie cafe. Imagine the cook appearing from the kitchen, expressing shock at having customers, and quickly writing up the menu on the blackboard.

I choose Thai Green Curry,imaging the sweet taste of the Thai Curry with the crunch of properly cooked vegetables on a bed of properly boiled rice. What I got was a tasteless mush. Kallie wouldn't admit it wasn't nice, I think she thought my complaints about the cafe and its food were based on some anti vegetarian streak. They were not. They were based on an anti bad food streak.

Anyway... after work we headed to the Riverside for some drinks. I only had 4 or 5 pints but I got BLADDERED. Really drunk. I got home and headed straight back out the fried chicken place up the road and drunkenly demanded food. LOTS OF FOOD. Of late I have been losing my appetite. Not last night.... mmmmm....

For news about everyones favourite boy, Brent Corrigan, check out Rants From A Mysterious Place and Jason Curious. Looks to me like he is suffering quite a bit so maybe send him some love as well over at his blog.

I just saw my first new 20 pound note.. Very pretty.

Jim Recommends...

IClash Music. Check it out...

Jae Recommends...

Mark Dalton.


Technorati Tags: Gay

Back To Bangkok?

Jim went off to hospital unexpectedly yesterday, but was back home by the time I arrived. Amazing how worried I get about that kind of thing.

On Tuesday Jim and I were discussing holidays and of course Bangkok was mentioned. I didn't realise just how much I miss Bangkok until it was brought up again. Reading my blog from the time (check out May 2006) I now remember just how much of a good time we had. So we have provisionally stencilled in a return in May 2008. Which would be LOVELY!

Holidays plans coming up: Jim is off to Boston, USA for a couple of weeks on Sunday so I may have a week off work and go down to Folkestone for a few days. Mmm... home cooked meals, nights out with my mates and the SEA.

In July/August Jim, Ian and I will be heading to Brittany for a week staying in what looks like a beautiful bed and breakfast in the middle of nowhere. I haven't been to France in a long time and as our last proper holiday was May last year I am very much looking forward to it.

It's too hot at work at the moment, it's very sunny and our landlords won't turn the heating off. With our air conditioner out of action I am now spending my afternoons barely working at all. I don't like heat when I'm working. It's my belief I'm descended from people who lived within the Artic Circle... the colder, the better is my opinion. Walk in freezer... that's what we need!

Spring must be arriving, the butterflies are out and pidgeons have started to get disconcertingly amourous with each other in public. Can't wait for summer, all those topless men... Not that'd I'd perv of course. Purely mentioning it because of it's a sign of the summer... yeah... that's it...

Technorati Tags: Bangkok

A Bad Customer Experience

It's amazing. For the first time ever I am not happy with a company! Wow I feel like a real bastard consumer (even though I didn't get angry or anything like that).

With a marked change (for the better!) in my financial situation over the last couple of weeks I decided to get a new phone, a Samsung X820. Very nice. Jim wanted one too and we found a good deal with The 3G Shop. I applied and knowing how fraud checks work (after all, it was my job until a couple of months ago) I wasn't surprised when I got a call the next day (from a lovely sounding guy) asking me to send a copy of my passport and bank statement. I happily obliged and sent it in this morning. Obviously I didn't want to show my transactions so I covered those up (as my company allows our customers to do, we only want to confirm you are who you say you are before parting with our expensive stuff).

I phoned them up a little while ago just to check up on things. After a few minutes the agent told me they'd received them but couldn't accept my statement... they wanted to see the transactions! When he told me this I could tell from the fear in his voice it wasn't something he agreed with and obviously something he was used to be abused by the customers for.

I didn't abuse him (he seemed like a nice chap). I just cancelled my order and took my money elsewhere. In the grand scheme of things that's far more effective.

Darn silly rules if you ask me. The company I work for has one of the lowest fraud rates for online business' and one of the best customer service track records. 3G have got a bloody jobsworth in their fraud department who's probably costing them more in lost sales than saving in stopping fraud.

20 Quid!

I'm not working today *does little dance*

A new twenty pound note is introduced today bearing the image of Adam Smith. I saw it and immediately thought I'd seen a similar design before...





Could this be the Bank Of England slowly getting people used to design? Please let it be so!!

Euro, Pound, Adam Smith

Documentary Evidence

Over the last few weeks I've been watching documentaries galore and I know feel very, very scared of the United States of America! ;)

First I started with Louis Theroux's Weird Weekends. Watching Louis in action can be slightly uncomfortable because he comes across as quite insincere. It was quite funny watching some of the crazies predicting the end of the world "by 2000ad". He he... bless them.

Then came a Michael Moore overdose. Roger and Me and The Big One. Their you are agreeing with Moore, sympathising with the people he is talking to and then suddenly he goes and does something pig ignorant or rude and you just think "arsehole". Hey Mr Moore I agree with you about the corporations being bullying bastards but maybe you should learn some manners yourself.

After that I moved on to the truely disturbing stuff: Enron: The Smartest Guys In The Room, Wal-Mart: The High Cost of Low Price and An Inconvenient Truth. While the Wal-Mart documentary was fairly predictable (Wal-Mart BAD) the Enron documentary was brilliant. If you watch one documentary this year make it that. But prepared to be terrified by the awesome overreach of some money hungry bastards. I spent the whole of An Inconvenient Truth imagining just how wonderful it would have been to have Al Gore as the President of America. Intelligent, compassionate and quite a looker in his youth! If there was an Al Gore 2008 ticket I think I'd fly over and volunteer!

And now I've just finished Jesus Camp. OH MY GOD! How can this type of child abuse be allowed? The kids were completely brain washed. Shocking. Any suggestions for future documentaries to watch would be welcome. I'm just starting on The Corporation...

Brent Everett is gorgeous. Brent Corrigan and him together... mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.... Brent Corrigan, Brent Everett and Charles Dera? I think I'd pay many hundreds of pounds to watch that movie...

Technorati : al gore, enron, jesus camp, louis theroux, michael moore, wal-mart

Charles Dera Does Porn!

So as you should know I've got an obsession with Charles Dera. Well look at him! How could I not have an obsession for him? Jeez I get an obsession with pretty much anyone tall, dark and handsome so it had to happen.

There I was scanning the blogs for pictures and I come across (LINK NOT WORK/STRAIGHT SAFE) this story. Wow. Charles Dera in straight porn. I think I might just give up my straight porn ban for that!

I still love Brent as well though.

Technorati Tags: Gay

Never Been To Vauxhall On A Saturday

It's amazing how quiet Vauxhall is at the weekend. During the week it is a hive of frenzied activity. The shops at the station are closed now, the crowds gone, even the homeless seem to be strangely absent. It's quite spooky.

I sit in my office with someone else on the other side of the room listening to the radio and trying to find the energy to do some last minute work.

It's been two years but the memory of weekend working is returning... and it isn't pleasant.

Hmm.. been spending some time today listening to Eurovision 2007 songs. Hmm.. some stars like Cyprus' entry but gosh some of those songs are awful.

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Gotta Love The Tories

I am not racist, says Tory MP

Patrick Mercer can probably be summed up with two words; foot and mouth. Bless him but he seems to equate the fact that bullying occurs in the Army with a strange belief that it is acceptable. To the general public bullying in the Army might be a sign of a lack of discipline in the ranks. But then again Mr Mercer was in charge of the battalion so that might not surprise anyone.

He also seems to not have even a little bit of an understanding of the climate in this country with regards to racism. 50 years ago he might have got away with saying some ethnic minority soldiers skive off work by claiming racist abuse. Any astute politician would know you just can't say that kind of stuff any longer.

Even thought he is absolutely useless it's such a shame David Cameron sacked him; Mr Mercer was only saying what a lot of Conservative voters believe.

Tories; you have to love them!

Technorati Tags: conservative, patrick mercer

Bush

So... last night I just about made it to the end of the day at work. I just wasn't cut out for working in business. Too much stress over insignificant things, I'll never comprehend it.

We all went out for drinks to Bush Bar in Shepherds Bush. It's been over a year since we last went there. It's still pretty good, even if the mojitos have gone down hill at least since my last visit.

After many drinks there we headed to the Ethiopian restaurant as before. This time I was a bit disappointed with the food and the atmosphere. I was growing extraordinarily bored, a state I find myself in more and more.

So I kind thought I'd start moving people on to somewhere else, so I stood up... which is when I bumped into Sarina coming to find me... she had thought exactly the same thing. That is how we end up in the Walkabout. Haven't been there in a while.... Antipodean men are so Gorgeous.

Then I got a taxi home with a couple of other south east London based colleagues.

I am so bloody bored/stressed/sick to my stomach of deadlines at mo. :( I wish I could just fall asleep and wake up in a months time when everything is ok.

Technorati Tags: Gay

John Inman: Rest In Peace

John Inman has passed away. He played Mr Humphries in Are You Being Served?, one of the best known UK sitcoms in television history.

Who hasn't said "I'm Free" at some point in their life? So today spare a moments thought for him and for his partner. He was one of televisions great poofs from the good old days.

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If You Go Into The Woods Today

Oh God. I have a bad feeling about today.

After almost forgetting my door keys for a second day running I headed off to the station a few minutes late. Halfway there I realised I'd forgot my wallet (this is why I never used to have a wallet, you could never forget it if you didn't have one). So I stomped back to the flat got my wallet and headed back down the stairs to find the door had jammed. One minute of frantic pulling later and I was out.

I had a feeling maybe I should just call in sick.

So I get to the station to find no ticket booth open. I don't mind I avoid them and prefer the machines. Sadly because no ticket was open all the STUPID people who can't use machines were gathered around the ticket machine in a very confused state. I could hear the train approaching and decided that they were a lost cause (normally I help them) and went to the permit to travel machine. There was a 40 odd year old business man there. Oh God I thought...

Now for those who don't know a permit to travel machine has a coin slot, a button and a ticket dispenser. THAT IS IT. It is not hard to operate.

But this man couldn't operate it. I grabbed his money shoved it in the machine and pressed the button. I handed him his permit and as I created my own he asked in a posh voice "What do I do with this?".

His voice reminded me very much of someone I currently know and hate. I find a lot of business men are THICK AS TWO SHORT PLANKS. He sounded like a petulent child, so I spoke to him like a parent does to a 2 year old. "You take this permit to the nice man at the station you get off at and you hand it to him, pay the remainder of the money and he'll give you a ticket."

Rather than notice the sarcasm in my voice he thanked me, as I sped past him, my Halo Jones book fluttering in my hand, and jumped aboard the train...

I arrive finally at Waterloo East and wait behind all the people who didn't get tickets or permits as they get told off and fined. Finally I get to the ticket collector and he is shocked (in a good way) that I had got a permit to travel and was polite to him. "Don't get many like you..." he mumbled as he got my ticket.

I rushed to Waterloo and caught the train to Vauxhall. I waited in line for my Guardian... a line filled with other people who just didn't know how to queue. There was two people serving, and there was three queues. Grr...

Get to the ticket barrier... my ticket didn't work... the ultimate in commuter embarassmment.

I get to work... I'd ordered stationary yesterday... and along with the normal order was three HUGE bubblewrap rolls. They had the correct customer address on them. But they ended up here. Way to go US! So I've queried that already.

And now there is an email in my inbox that makes me believe I'll be working all weekend... it's 08.25 can I go home yet???

I'm only here because I'm going out tonight... that is the only reason....

Let's cheer ourselves up with some (very dumb looking) beefcake...



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Jae Becomes A Grown Up

Yesterday I received my first credit card. Don't bother warning me that about the risks, I've got my own case studies for that one! I have it in order to be able to buy lots of clothes all at once and pay them off over a period of time. Clothes for me have become an unaffordable thing (High and Mighty isn't the cheapest) and it's got to the point old clothes are wearing out faster than I can afford to buy new ones. I will not be using it for frivolous purposes!

And I received confirmation of my new savings account. I'm going to put aside £100 a month for the time being. I'll increase it as and when I can.

Gosh... I even had to contact a customer service department (something I've always prided myself on not having to have done) as my card didn't arrive first time. My credit card companies customer service was great and sorted it straight away. But then again I know the main cause of bad customer service... the customer.

My favourite podcast has returned! Sparkletack has been away for so long. Great to it back with an awesome cast about the San Francisco Spite Fence. Go listen!

Another Day

Work. Why do I have to do it? When was it decided that we would all have to work for a living and that money was the most important thing in the world? Can't I just have a piece of land somewhere and live out my years in peace and quiet with nothing to do with this strange alien creation of Capitalism? Hmph. Got a project to complete at work and it's starting to stress me out. God Lord... and this one person at work is driving me mad at the moment with their incessant stupidity. I may be on hiatus for this project but I've been doing customer service for five years. It's stressful and a bit like banging you head on a brick wall but it isn't difficult. It's not rocket science!

Oh well...yesterday I received my once a month parcel from Amazon with Beth and Georges birthday pressies, Man In The Middle , The Complete Halo Jones and (last but certainly not least!) The Complete Case Files of Judge Dredd Part One.

Judge Dredd cheers me up, nothing like a bit of pessimistic future shocks as the Mighty Tharg would say.

Had dinner with Jim at the Cafe Rouge last night. Pah... bad service, ok food. Not going back there again! Did see a new Texan place had opened opposite the Greenwich Picture House. They had hats on the tables. Big hats. Jim worryingly wants to go. I'll take my camera so you can share in my horror. I think the cute waiter we saw trolling around inside was part of the reason for Jims interest.

Eurovision 2007 - So Far

Location Thanks to Lordi winning last year in Athens with the brilliant "Hard Rock Hallelujah" the 2007 Eurovision Song Contest is to be held in Helsinki, Finland

The Presenters

Jaana Pelkonen
Mikko Leppilampi

Semi Finalists

Not everyone makes it to the Eurovision Final. A Semi Final will be held on 10th May 2007. The Top Ten from the semi final will go onto the final and join last years Top Ten and the Big Four; France, Germany, Spain and the United Kingdom. It's nice to always be in the final... sorry guys! The links will take you to a video of the song.

Albania: Aida & Frederik Ndoci "Balada e gurit"
Andorra: Anonymous "Salvem el món"
Austria: Eric Papilaya "Get a life - get alive"
Belarus: Dmitry Koldun "Work your magic"
Belgium: The KMG's "Love power"
Bulgaria: Elitsa Todorova & Stoyan Yankulov "Voda"
Croatia: Dragonfly feat. Dado Topic "Vjerujem u ljubav"
Cyprus: Evridiki "Comme ci, comme ça"
Czech Republic: Kabát "Mala Dama"
Denmark: DQ "Drama Queen"
Estonia: Gerli Padar "Partners in crime"
FYR Macedonia: Karolina "Mojot svet"
Georgia: Sopho Khalvashi "My story"
Hungary: Magdi Rúzsa "Unsubstantial Blues"
Iceland: Eiríkur Hauksson Ég les í lófa þínum
Israel: Teapacks "Push the button"
Latvia: Bonaparti.lv "Questa Notte"
Malta: Olivia Lewis "Veritgo"
Moldova: Natalia Barbu "Fight"
Montenegro: Stevan Faddy "Ajde Kroci"
Norway: Guri Schanke "Ven a bailar conmigo"
Poland: The Jet Set "Time to party"
Portugal: Sabrina "Dança comigo (vem ser feliz)"
Serbia: Marija Šerifovic "Molitva"
Slovenia: Alenka Gotar "Cvet z juga"
Switzerland: DJ BoBo "Vampires are alive"
The Netherlands: Edsilia Rombley "Nooit meer zonder zou"
Turkey: Kenan Doðulu "Shake it up sekerim"

The Finalists

Armenia: Hayko "Anytime you need"
Bosnia & Herzegovina: Marija Sestic "Rijeka bez imena"
Finland: Hanna Pakarinen "Leave me alone"
France: Les Fatals Picards "L'amour à la Française"
Germany: Roger Cicero "Frauen regieren die Welt"
Greece: Sarbel "Yassou Maria"
Ireland: Dervish "They can't stop the spring"
Lithuania: 4Fun "Love or leave"
Romania: Todomondo "Liubi, liubi, I love you"
Russia: Serebro "Song # 1"
Spain: NASH "I love you mi vida"
Sweden: The Ark "The Worrying Kind"
United Kingdom: Scooch "Flying The Flag"
Ukraine: Verka Serduchka "Danzing"

Opinions

OK, I've been listening to these songs for a while and I have to say: I think Sweden is going to win. But I do love the UK, Romania, Switzerland, Greece, Cyprus and even Israel. So I think it'll be a close fight.

Sexiness wise: Spain and Belarus. Yum!

Technorati : eurovision, Del.icio.us : eurovision

Drunk

Oh I don't feel so good. Not good at all. I am NEVER going to drink again. Honest.

It all started with work drinks at the Riverside. I put back a few pints and talked rubbish. At about 8 Sam America, Phil, Sam's Friend Justin and I got a bus to... Clapham and the Kazbar. It was nice in there and we met up with a couple more people... one of whom was Sam's scary flatmate Sara. Uber scary.

We then went to the Two Brewers where I got very drunk, acted very tall and acted stupid.

Got an unlicensed cab home with some Jamaican guy where we talked shit about gun crime, homophobia in Jamaica and how gay men are the best people in the world.

I was drunk. I don't know what his excuse was.

God I was drunk.

Bits And Bobs

John Amaechi was on the Daily Show the other day. What a lovely guy! And 6'10"... same height as me... phwoah...

Greece has unveiled their Eurovision song Sarbel's "Yassou Maria"



Hmm...

Up close with the UK hopefuls

Technorati Tags: Gay