Wednesday, March 07, 2007

If You Go Into The Woods Today

Oh God. I have a bad feeling about today.

After almost forgetting my door keys for a second day running I headed off to the station a few minutes late. Halfway there I realised I'd forgot my wallet (this is why I never used to have a wallet, you could never forget it if you didn't have one). So I stomped back to the flat got my wallet and headed back down the stairs to find the door had jammed. One minute of frantic pulling later and I was out.

I had a feeling maybe I should just call in sick.

So I get to the station to find no ticket booth open. I don't mind I avoid them and prefer the machines. Sadly because no ticket was open all the STUPID people who can't use machines were gathered around the ticket machine in a very confused state. I could hear the train approaching and decided that they were a lost cause (normally I help them) and went to the permit to travel machine. There was a 40 odd year old business man there. Oh God I thought...

Now for those who don't know a permit to travel machine has a coin slot, a button and a ticket dispenser. THAT IS IT. It is not hard to operate.

But this man couldn't operate it. I grabbed his money shoved it in the machine and pressed the button. I handed him his permit and as I created my own he asked in a posh voice "What do I do with this?".

His voice reminded me very much of someone I currently know and hate. I find a lot of business men are THICK AS TWO SHORT PLANKS. He sounded like a petulent child, so I spoke to him like a parent does to a 2 year old. "You take this permit to the nice man at the station you get off at and you hand it to him, pay the remainder of the money and he'll give you a ticket."

Rather than notice the sarcasm in my voice he thanked me, as I sped past him, my Halo Jones book fluttering in my hand, and jumped aboard the train...

I arrive finally at Waterloo East and wait behind all the people who didn't get tickets or permits as they get told off and fined. Finally I get to the ticket collector and he is shocked (in a good way) that I had got a permit to travel and was polite to him. "Don't get many like you..." he mumbled as he got my ticket.

I rushed to Waterloo and caught the train to Vauxhall. I waited in line for my Guardian... a line filled with other people who just didn't know how to queue. There was two people serving, and there was three queues. Grr...

Get to the ticket barrier... my ticket didn't work... the ultimate in commuter embarassmment.

I get to work... I'd ordered stationary yesterday... and along with the normal order was three HUGE bubblewrap rolls. They had the correct customer address on them. But they ended up here. Way to go US! So I've queried that already.

And now there is an email in my inbox that makes me believe I'll be working all weekend... it's 08.25 can I go home yet???

I'm only here because I'm going out tonight... that is the only reason....

Let's cheer ourselves up with some (very dumb looking) beefcake...

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