Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Just Beyond My Reach

There's a lot of gay men still in the closet. A lot. Most are desperate to come out... the sooner the better.

But there's still far too many who pretend to be straight, who go through with the whole wife and child lifestyle. And they bloody annoy me. They annoy me in a very weird way.

I see them in the street, in pubs, all over the place. And there they'll be laughing and joking with whomever... till they see you. Their eyes give the game away... first recognition.. followed by fear... fear of exposure...

I see them and I feel utter pity for them... I just want to hug them, tell them I'll protect them, and take care of them... but there's nothing I can do. After all they are pretty much traitors to the cause. That's what frigging annoys me.

There's someone I know like that at the moment, someone I desperately want to help... I won't of course... but when he says things like "Jason, I'm a few steps behind you"... I just wanna hug him... or beat him up for being a traitor... ANNOYING!

Went bowling today... yay!!


  1. How do you know that they are gay? Just interested. I often get told that I look gay and sometimes a bit camp, but am actually not (nope, not even just in denial either). Which is why I have neither a boyfriend or a girlfriend. Rats

  2. I don't know 100%... I'd say I'm right 90% of the time (figure pulled from top of my head and not a provable fact I admit!). It's not campness, it's not "the look". It's all in the eyes.

    Even when I was 16 I was playing the guess the gay game when I walked down the street... just a look in the eye and you can tell. I can't really describe it any better than that!

    And no it's not wishful thinking... most of these blokes ain't really my thing...

  3. I think some people do have very valid reasons for not wanting to come out. I spent the best part of my life trying to de-gay myself by sleeping with women.

    For me it was career based. Indeed, many people have/had jobs involving children and coming out was never an option. To the contrary it was probably a career ending move. Thankfully times have changed and it's getting a little easier.

  4. I'm out to some people that I know. Still the outside world, I'm this short guy who happens to be 30ish and single. I do howver give to the g.l.a.a.d. I'm also active in gay rights. I won't get into why I'm single but part of it is career-minded.

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