Firstly let me say this as a disclaimer for my wonderful other half (who does worry sometimes). I love you Jim and you make me happier than I deserve so nothing about my current mood is in anyway caused by you.
Now... I am going to be looking for a new job. Just saying that upsets me. I hate change. I like stability. I like having a good salary (which I do) and good workmates (which I most assuredly do). And I risk (and expect) to lose both. But my salary is in no way large enough to compensate for having to work in customer service. It'd need to be closer to six figures for that! I remember on my first day at Eurotunnel (4 years ago, is that all???) being a naive believer in humanity's inate goodness. That is gone. My heart is now a twisted, bitter respresentation of it's original self. And I hate that. I liked being nice (one ex once told me being nice gets you no where... no but it makes me feel good so NER!). I hate thinking the worst of everyone I meet. Something else that disturbs me... I swear. I mean swearing is just not me once upon a time I'd only swear just before pulverising someone... but I get so angry nowadays that I swear all the time. That makes me unhappy. So uncouth.
But here is the clincher. I need money to survive. I have zero skills except for the fact that I am a totally skilled customer service bod. I want to go back to university. I thought I could stay at my current job until next years clearing. But really that idea fills me with dread. So to the universe as a whole I scream "PLEASE SAVE ME!" I'm a good learner. I pick things up very quickly and hey, let's not beat around the bush, I have an IQ of 129. Jae no stupid. So Jae begins a search a new for something to keep him sane... and in a house with Jim. Wish me luck... :(
OH but something that is making me happy (beyond Jim) is my new found interest in genealogy... REALLY interesting and so satisfying. Just found out two of my great grand parents were related. EWWW... see that's fun to know isn't it?
Something else makes me happy too... Tom Welling...