The Clip Show

In case you missed it...

My name's Jae and I moved from Folkestone, Kent to Greenwich, London in May 2005. I live with my boyfriend Jim (FIX YOUR BLOG JIM! ;) ). We own an aquarium, several oversized spiders (well ok, they moved in with us and despite constant attempts to move them they just keep coming back) and possibly some mice. The word that best describes our flat is "messy".

I work for an online stationery store in Vauxhall and spend much of my time dreaming of a better job involving naked men, Diet Coke on tap and nice customers. I'm thinking pimping? (contact me if this can be arranged!).

I'm incredibly clumsy and have so far broken many things around the flat since I moved in... including a Powerbook G4 which now lies in a cupboard in several pieces.. sorry Jim. And I loved that Mac...

I own way too many iPods.

Jim and I own way too many DVDs (again... fix this Jim!)... at the moment loving Frasier Season 8, NCIS and Monk.

I'm a sci fi nut, I'm researching my family tree and I just can't get enough of blogging... 5 years... woo!

London In The Evening

Londoners sure are slow. They seem to find great pleasure in walking at about the speed of a... bollard? Yeah... that slow! Now it also seems to please them to wander at an angle across the path so as to maximise the annoyance they cause to everyone else.

I headed to town with Nick after work to the Apple store, which was less cool than I would have thought. I suppose my pathological hatred of shopping doesn't help. I did buy a cover for my video iPod though. Better late than never!

I wandered home down Oxford Street, Regent Street, through Piccadily and Leicester Square until I reached Charing Cross. I can remember many times wandering that route before I moved to London, it holds so many nice memories. Now all I need to do is get rid of that religious guy at Piccadily (ok, and everyone else who gets in my way) and the walk would be perfect. London is a beautiful city, filled with huge buildings that close in on you like a warm comforting blanket.

It's strange you'd think they'd make you feel claustrophobic.

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It's the weekend. Be HAPPY!

Police drop anti-Gay leaflets charge. Yay for freedom of speech! Now let's go picket this mans pickets with anti-Christian pamphlets. "God Kills Millions in Flood". "God destroys entire city because a few citizens attempted to rape some angels" etc etc...

Here I am supporting a Christians right to freedom of speech, to effectively gay bash. And they go and stamp on our rights of freedom of speech. Pot calling kettle! It's ok to insult homosexuality but hey hands off Christianity...

I'm sure Jesus taught them to turn the other cheek...



There are words to describe this boy.. but I can't seem to remember them right now... brain fuzzy..

Yoinked from Male and Beautiful

My outeverywhere membership is up for renewal. Erm... no thanks! On gaydar they are shallow. On outeverywhere they can be NASTY. Try Blooplanet instead...

Just The Few Of Us

I was reading an interesting article in Gay Times today. Twas about the probable overestimation of the amount of gay people in the world. Supposedly it's now thought that just 2 - 4% of the male population is a little bit poofy. That's not to say the infamous 1 in 10 remark doesn't have some merit. But it sure brings things in to perspective... I'm getting more unique by the minute!

Let's face it... I'm over 6'8" (exactly how tall can be a matter for debate at some point) and a Wiccan... that must put me in a really small percentage of the population and then factor in the homosexuality... is there anyone out there quite like me? :o)

But seriously... who cares how many there are of us? All I care about is that I'm gay, I know that, and no one can convince me that there's anything wrong with that just because there's not that many queers.



I love this guys body shape... very meaty. Yum. I know a lot of guys go for slim waists... but this kind of guy really does it for me. Yoinked from All Aussie Beef

Thanks for all the... erm... stuff

Tony Blair made his final Labour Party Conference speech of his premiership... hopefully.

When Mr Blair took power I was 14, I'd grown up in a Tory household and I was worried he'd destroy the Union. But gradually, as I learnt a little more about the Tories and lot more about myself, I fell head over heels for the New Labour Government. Here was a group that was dedicated to fighting poverty, bringing about equal rights and rebuilding the toothless House of Lords back to a working part of our democracy (hey it'd only been 90 odd years waiting for a good kick up the bum).

How did Mr Blair do? Erm... ok. He started off great but he has since lost his direction.

Who cares about fighting poverty when you can fight the bad guys with our American cousins?

Equal rights? Equal, but different is Tony's way. I hope one day people will realise civil partnerships are just scraps thrown at the gay community to keep them quiet (and keep the religious bigots happy). And they overly complicate things. I got a letter the other day about my pension. Reading it is difficult because every time it mentions marriage it has to also mention civil partnerships (i.e. your husband/wife/civil partner... widow, widower and surviving partner of a civil partnership). What a hash job!

And rebuilding the House of Lords? Hell why not just fill it with cronies? YAY!

Goodbye Mr Blair... it's time for a change.

Ask Jae

Anything you want to know?

The Weekend Is Over - Hurrah!

We've had the kids this weekend. Woo! I don't really mind them... they're quite amusing. However there is one part I hate about them being here... no not that you dirty minded people... but I'm too much of a gentleman to bring it up here. Let's just say I'm glad it's over.

Oh and for Nick... here is every kind of homosexual insult I can find...

Gay, chutney ferret, poo pusher, uphill gardener, shit stabber, turd burglar, shirt lifter, fudge packer, chod nobber, arse bandit, sodite, sod, bugger, "nature has played a cruel trick on him", not as other men, pederast, fag, faggot, sausage jockey, driver of the chocolate motorway, queer, homosexual, backpassage stalker, gentleman's gentleman, toilet trader, Quentin, Marmite driller, brown pipe engineer, plumber who comes in the tradesman's entrance, one who bowls from the Pavilion end, brown hatter, one who tarnishes his bobbies helmet, rear gunner, rear admiral, pork swordsman, tail gunner, pusher of the cheesy wheelbarrow, wind jammer, navigator of the windward pass, gender bender, one who strolls down the Bourneville Boulevard, botter, pillow biter, sponge, stone, chocolate speedway rider, man who rears the chocolate starfish, ginger beer, hoop stretcher, jobby jouster, kakpipe cosmonaut, muddy funster, one who prefers to dock with the rear unloading bay.

I think Polari says it best though...

"Is he so?"

Jim has got me obsessed with NCIS. It's a brilliant show. I'm also totally obsessed with Abby (see Paulys blog). She is the coolest character EVER created on the face of this Earth. I think I want to marry her... :o)

My family tree is up to 209 people!

I Love You Dear Constant Reader

I have become lax this week with posting. I've been taken up in the genealogy craze that's sweeping... my chair... and just can't find the time to blog. I will find the time! I now have 148 names on my tree and the list seems to grow by about 50% everytime I really focus. It's much easier than I thought.

In the real world... what is it with stupid people? Do they think they can somehow get away with it, without being stared at viciously? This morning I join the queue at the train station ticket machine. Hmm... that guy in front is taking his time... HE ISN'T EVEN BUYING A TICKET... just browsing... oh he spots the queue behind him... he wanders off to read some "important" notice without even a by or leave getting into everyone elses way as best he can.

This is why I am against gun control.

Last night I went out to the Benihana in Swiss Cottage for Nicks birthday along with Sam America, Kallie, Nicks girlfriend Alex and some girl from Utah... Why am I always the only Brit at these things? Hmm... We had difficulty finding it until a helpful bus shelter appeared which gave directions (the world truely is a marvellous place). I was promised a fine dining experience with fire and excitement. I was also hoping for a cute Japanese chef (you know how I love Asian men). I got none of the above (our chefs name was Adam and he wasn't cute/Japanese). The food was good. The service was great (and the waiter was fairly cute). But it was a big let down. I wish people wouldn't build things up... I have low expectations, so if you don't build things up for me I will enjoy it! ;)

Breasts... now this is random... am I the only person who doesn't really notice them? I mean I notice them on a woman just as I notice... say... ears. But I rarely find them distracting, or even note worthy. I have friends with large breasts (hey Becky!) and really it's just not an issue. I mention this because last night a woman wandered into Benihanas with huge breasts. I wouldn't have noticed unless Sam hadn't sat there going... "OH MY GOD... I can't stop looking at her breasts". Everyone was at it. I gave her a look but really... not that interesting. Give me HUGE arms any day of the week...

Jae Is Not A Happy Bunny

Firstly let me say this as a disclaimer for my wonderful other half (who does worry sometimes). I love you Jim and you make me happier than I deserve so nothing about my current mood is in anyway caused by you.

Now... I am going to be looking for a new job. Just saying that upsets me. I hate change. I like stability. I like having a good salary (which I do) and good workmates (which I most assuredly do). And I risk (and expect) to lose both. But my salary is in no way large enough to compensate for having to work in customer service. It'd need to be closer to six figures for that! I remember on my first day at Eurotunnel (4 years ago, is that all???) being a naive believer in humanity's inate goodness. That is gone. My heart is now a twisted, bitter respresentation of it's original self. And I hate that. I liked being nice (one ex once told me being nice gets you no where... no but it makes me feel good so NER!). I hate thinking the worst of everyone I meet. Something else that disturbs me... I swear. I mean swearing is just not me once upon a time I'd only swear just before pulverising someone... but I get so angry nowadays that I swear all the time. That makes me unhappy. So uncouth.

But here is the clincher. I need money to survive. I have zero skills except for the fact that I am a totally skilled customer service bod. I want to go back to university. I thought I could stay at my current job until next years clearing. But really that idea fills me with dread. So to the universe as a whole I scream "PLEASE SAVE ME!" I'm a good learner. I pick things up very quickly and hey, let's not beat around the bush, I have an IQ of 129. Jae no stupid. So Jae begins a search a new for something to keep him sane... and in a house with Jim. Wish me luck... :(

OH but something that is making me happy (beyond Jim) is my new found interest in genealogy... REALLY interesting and so satisfying. Just found out two of my great grand parents were related. EWWW... see that's fun to know isn't it?

Something else makes me happy too... Tom Welling...

Why Do I Love The Queen?

Just back from seeing the Queen. Click the link you fools, the movie not Her Majesty! It was rather good. I mean the acting was good and the writing sharp. The picture quality made it look like a made for TV movie (circa early 1990s) but we'll gloss over that minor glitch. I think I missed the point of the movie as I spent the whole thing sympathising with Helen Mirren's Elizabeth II. I suppose I always thought the outcry over Diana was a bit of a case of "The whole world has lost its senses". It finally made me realise why I like the Queen.

In this day and age, with idiots free to be stupid and tactless as and when they see fit, it's nice to have someone in the country who has some class and provides us with a sober and dignified centre. When everyone is so obsessed with celebrity and pouring their hearts out on telly we need someone who is strong and at least pretends to be above the normal human condition.

Now I'm a libertarian. I am not big on the whole "hereditary rule" thingy. However... our American cousins have taught us some valuable lessons in the pitfalls of a democratically elected ruler (i.e. the one who gets our PM's attention by shouting the highly dignified "Yo... Blair!" springs to mind). And they taught us that having a partisan in charge isn't always good for national unity. I think hedging our bets on a randomly generated ruler taught from birth to conduct business of state compares fairly well. As long as said ruler doesn't hold any power and is more a figurehead than a dictator I don't see the problem.

And the Queen sure does carry it off well. Nobody would want her job, and she deserves our respect for managing to put up with having us lot as subjects.

Long Live The Queen!

*STATEMENT OF WARNING* I tend to fly from arch Royalist to plotting republican once per week so you have been warned!

OH MY HEAD

Today I am in a bad mood. This is because my cold has moved from annoying me to making my head groggy and making everything seem difficult. I went and got a haircut which always puts me in a bad mood. No I'm nothing like Samson. It's just I'm not into the whole barber ritual... waiting in a room with a bunch of men, all desperately trying to avoid any eye contact while keeping tabs on who's left ahead of them in the virtual queue, and then subjecting my hair to mutiliation by some woman who would rather I wasn't there as she tries to make small talk with me about what's on telly (No I don't know How To Solve A Problem Like Maria).

Oh well... it's all gone now.

So as I'm not in the mood to move I've been researching the family history... the Witherdens, the Waters, and the Kays of Eccles, Snodland, Biddenden and numerous other places. God Lord... we BREED!

Drinks At The Riverside, Vauxhall

Last night was a customer service night out. It's not a good night out unless one person ends up in a coma and I really think we achieved it last night. Thankfully I wasn't the comatosed individually although JP and Nick caused me to giggle so much I thought I might start to bleed out my ears. I can be such a giggling girl some days.

It was a great laugh and a brilliant opportunity to get to know some of the new people better.

I have caught a hideous cold off Jim which means I've got the sniffles and a bad temper at the mo. This was made a lot better on Tuesday when I got an anniversary card and chocolates from said cold infection carrier. Mmm...

Today I miss The Balcony

Did you know the treasonous bastard who shot blanks at the Queen was from Folkestone?? I didn't either...

I Love Jim

Today marks two years since I met Jim. This song says it all...

Buffy - I Love You

I watched Buffy last night (I haven't seen that IN AGGGGGGGGGGGGEs) and remembered something... Buffy RULES. I know I sound like a geeky fanboy. But God. I remember when watching Buffy was my only escape from my oh so typically depressed teenage life. It was the main shared love between me and Stephen (although he wanted to be a vampire and I wanted to marry Xander, that relationship was doomed wasn't it?). The gorgeous men (I defo like the geeky types... Xander, Andrew... but hey Angel and Riley had their places in my heart too). The jokes. Tara and Willow (thank God for the best gay couple on telly ever).

What really stands out is that Nicholas Brendon is my only ever non real person crush (i.e. I've never seen him in the flesh) ! Now as I tend to get crushes as often as most people get hot dinners that's quite an achievement! I love you Nicholas Brendon and all those at Buffy for making my teenage years that little bit more tolerable.

Who Does Jae Remind You Of?

Would you think of any of the following?



I was pleasantly surprised...

5 Years On

Yesterday I watched Discovery's Inside The Twin Towers. It tells the story I've been wanting to hear... what happened to those inside the buildings on September 11th?

It starts at the beginning of an ordinary day... and then proceeds through the events we all know too well. The North Tower, the South Tower, the collapses. Inside not everyone makes it out. Watching this documentary is totally heartbreaking and reminds us of the brutal truth of what happened that day... people were murdered in a hideously scary manner.

As it is confirmed one last time that Saddam was not behind the attacks I wonder why nobody seems to care about finding Osama Bin Laden. Bush and Blair barely mention catching Bin Laden, it's all about Iraq and the Taliban. How can the American public have let their Commander in Chief off so lightly for not bringing to justice the man behind the attacks? How can they defend him over the Iraq War when it's been 5 years since the attacks and he hasn't used EVERY ounce of America's strength to seek out Osama?

Tony Blair is leaving office. Is it not time he stopped doing what Bush wants and spends the last year of his term of office using Britain's forces to find Osama? 67 Britons died. Who's seeking justice for them?

Why is no one asking these questions?

Looking Ahead

My life right now is kinda of... treading water. My job currently pays well but is completely unfulfilling. I'm not looking for 100% satisfaction here but a little bit would be nice.

So yesterday morning was spent reading the UCAS clearing list wistfully and I MUST APPLY FOR CLEARING NEXT YEAR AND THAT IS FINAL! Back to university for me... even if I can't afford it. I need to move on.

Bowling last night. Elephant and Castle was it's usual forbidding self. I won a teddy bear though for the second week running which made the trip more than worth it. I was joined at bowling by Sam America, Nic and Kallie from work; Tamara formerly from work; and John and Vixie formerly of the Join Me Brighton Meet and other adventures. I won a game! Yet again. My bowling is sooo much better than it used to be. Was ruthlessly mocked all night by a Nic and Vixie double act. I didn't speak to Nic for one whole second in total protest at this hideous lack of respect. ;o)

Today my blog was top of the blogs in the London Lite newspaper. I would like to thank... me! Oh and you, of course, Dear Constant Reader.

His Imperial Majesty, Emperor Norton

You've gotta love some people who seem to go out of their way to make life that little bit more interesting. There we are plodding through life and then suddenly there's a flash of colour, a scream or a slight whiff in the air as a true eccentric wanders past.

The Lord of all eccentrics was London born, San Francisco based Emperor Norton I, "Emperor of these United States and Protector of Mexico". I vaguely heard about him a little while back, but really fell in love with him after listening to this Sparkletack episode.

The really beautiful thing about the Emperor is that San Franciscans not only took him to their hearts, they took him quite seriously. They accepted his currency, they appreciated his patronage ("By Appointment to his Imperial Majesty, Emperor Norton I of the United States.") and got emotional when he was arrested and practically held a state funeral upon his death.

His decrees are wonderful...

"Whoever after due and proper warning shall be heard to utter the abominable word "Frisco," which has no linguistic or other warrant, shall be deemed guilty of a High Misdemeanor, and shall pay into the Imperial Treasury as penalty the sum of twenty-five dollars."

During the civil war he suggested Abraham Lincoln marry Queen Victoria to bring Britain to the Unions aid. He actually corresponded with Her Royal Highness on several occasions.

You just don't get too many characters like him... that is why the death of Steve Irwin caused such a stir... he was the Emperor Norton of Australia. A truely interesting human being.

Speaking of which here's short video on a really interesting fellow I've actually seen with my own eyes! The World Famous Bushman

GAYS! Serve thy hetrosexual butt master... or else...

You have gotta love people who write articles like this. I mean... they are so far up their own bums that they have this idea that whether they agree with someone elses lifestyle or not is relevant...

Okay, everyone knows the facts about homosexuality, otherwise known as the “free choice of gays” by now, right? Highest AIDS rate, the lowest average life expectancy amongst the males, family issues, destruction of lives of young children because of the same-sex home, highest drug addiction rates....so on...and on...and on...these are some of the characteristics of a typical gay lifestyle. Still we continue to claim that everybody has the choice to be gay. Let's analyze this “choose to be gay rant” that we like to parrot, shall we?

Well I'm glad we got that straight. Hetrosexual relationships don't lead to any of the above and homosexual ones TYPICALLY do. YEAH... right. And who is claiming we have choice to be gay? I don't have a choice. I do not, can not, find women attractive nor does female companionship make me happy in the same way male relationships do. As Archbishop Tutu says... only a loon would choose to be gay!! Not that it isn't an absolute blast...

Now I don't have anything against gay people struggling with homosexuality (and it is a struggle from what I understand)

Oh good. Love the sinner hate the sin? And yes it is a struggle... a struggle to keep our arguments decent when faced by facist creatures like you. No wonder gay men turn to drugs so often (based on your hypothesis anyway), putting up with this kind of comment day in and day out really wears you down.

Then why not try and help gay people overcome this problem instead of encouraging them in this unnatural and deadly lifestyle? Come on now, someone has to call this one out. Being gay is NOT natural! The root cause of this is most of the time something else. Something like trauma through a person of the opposite sex that almost forces a person to become gay! Or extremely low self esteem that makes one believe he/she would never be accepted by someone of the opposite sex (I personally know people who've fallen into homosexuality through both of these reasons).

My secrets out... I once got turned down by a prospective girlfriend when I was 6 years old (she wouldn't share my ice cream) and since then I've liked being done up the arse.

UNNATURAL?? Erm... exactly how??? Anything that is possible is natural. What you meant to say is "Being gay is not moral, in my not so well informed but perfectly valid opinion".

LISTEN UP PEOPLE. I'm sick to death of putting up with articles like this which presuppose us queers have some moral duty to conform to the writers prejudices. Can't we just get on with our lives, in peace and quiet with all the rights of a normal citizen???

Jae Agrees With The British National Party

I am aghast. There I was reading my normal Google News when I stumbled across a story about Stephen Green, homophobic prat that he is, being arrested for distributing leaflets. I felt affronted that such an illiberal action had been taken out in defense of the LGBT community, of which I consider myself a part.

Then I read this homophobic tirade from the BNP. And I actually agreed with them. I feel bad to agree with the BNP. Really bad. Disgusted. But honestly... the gay community knows what it is like to be oppressed, knows what it's like to be hated and hunted by the police. We must not allow ourselves, with our increasing freedoms, to become the oppressor or at least the oppressors queeny sidekick.

I'm all for aggressive, violent homophobes being arrested and locked up. Violence is not something anybody should have to put up with. But as long as Mr Green was conducting himself in a polite, unobstructive way what right do we have to shut him up?

I'm not Christianity's biggest fan (I mean their most likeable member was Jesus and he was Jewish anyway [and died nearly 2000 years ago, 2000 years and no ones come close to being that nice]) but nevertheless their right to free speech (even if it does upset me) is sacrosanct (as is my own, HOMOPHOBIC TWATS WILL GO TO HELL!).

Come on Queers of the world... we're supposed to be the enlightened ones fighting for freedom and justice. And with this Government in power we've got a lot of fighting to do.

Steve Irwin RIP

Reports are coming in (i.e. I'm watching BBC Breakfast) that Steve Irwin has been killed. The world just got a little bit more dull.

Jae Passes Round A Hat

Why not visit my current tenant? Currently there's some handy dandy (and rather amusing) tips for both sexes when dressing. However I do believe the writer has never met me... I'm gay and I wouldn't know style if it slapped me on the arse... Visit and see if you agree with the fashion faux pas'

Why not give Blooplanet a go? It seems to be a bit more easy to navigate than OUT and less heavily monitored. And on the other side it's a lot less sleazy than Gaydar. Go on... there's even different profiles for whether you're just looking for friends (like me) or looking for something else. If you know what I mean...

A Very Random Series of Events

Yesterday I was pleased to find out I had become a member of Nic's "Kingdom of Losers". Pleased? To be a loser? He basically described a loser as someone who was happy being a little nerdy and not someone who was image obsessed and arrogant. I don't mind that tag at all. In fact I was made a member of the council and renamed Chief Sparkling Water. :)

Ickle Ben texted me today to ask if I wanted to meet up some time this week. I haven't seen him in donkeys years and that would be fab.

Combat Sam also texted me. We've got the kids this coming weekend so I'm a little busy but I'll come down to Folkestone and see you soon!

Today we got up early (*SOB*) and headed to Hemel to pick up Ian and Becka. We then proceeded to drive. And drive. And drive all the way to within kissing distance of Wales to see the Red Bull Air Race. However when we were 30 miles from Longleat we discovered the end of the queue. Deciding it would be foolhardy to sit in the traffic and seeing the weather turning we decided just to get lunch and drive ALL the way back.

We pulled off the road and opened our picnic basket to discover... more food than we could eat in a week!! Sandwiches, a GIANT pork pie, crisps, chocolate eclairs, chocolate muffins, Caramels, Rocky bars, sausage rolls, sausages... we barely ate half and still felt full!! As anyone will tell you I rarely feel full...

Hours later we arrived in St Albans and dropped the kids off at Castaway Kids, a play area/childhood fantasy land of greatness. I wish I'd had one of those places near me when I was shorter than 4'10" (sizeism is evil...).

We are now home, and tired and glad to find the air race was cancelled anyway... we feel much better about turning away.

Tomorrow I'm not doing anything... at all. It's amazing how tiring sitting in a car and doing nothing for 8 hours can be.



Red Bull Air Race

Bowled Away

After a few chats with Morgan by email I was reminded of our regular weekly bowling matches that hadn't been very regular for quite some time. So I took it upon myself to email around and try to muster a group.

That was how Sam America, Tamara, Nick and myself found ourselves in Elephant and Castle. Not only did I win 1 game and come second in another, I WON A TEDDY FROM THE GRABBING MACHINE. Tamara named her Chloe the Hermathrodite Huskie.

I also foolishly engaged in much alcohol consumption and we had an obligatory pre game noodle bar experience.

it was Tamara's last day with us and I was very sad to say goodbye. Tamara sat next to me at work for the last 4 months and I will miss her quite a bit.