Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Jae Says... Leave Cruising Alone

Hmph. Well Kev left a comment about it and Jim pointed out an article in the Evening Standard about it (by Peter Tatchell no less) so it must be a pressing topic... cruising is back on the agenda. I thought people were finally over their obsession with the fact gay men have sex, but the recent murder of 24-year-old bar manager Jody Dobrowski has brought the subject up. That's not to say he was cruising, but that's the suggestion some are making.

Cruising. Cruising has been part of gay life for a long time. Before the bars, before Stonewall, before Boy George and before AIDS there was cruising. Now just because something has a long history doesn't make it right. But it certainly means we should treat it with a little respect when considering it's merits and pitfalls.

Even where cruising occurs in public (hey there platform number 10 at the Gare Du Nord!) most straight people don't even know it's happening. So it's not like it's affecting anyone else. As long as no one gets their cock out where others might see it (THE SHOCK! THAT MAN HAS A PENIS!) then I can't see why cruising is even an issue. As a liberal (dear Americans to me liberal means libertarian not far left!) I firmly believe that grown ups should be allowed to do as they please. Sure it might upset those worry warts who sit at home and care about what other people are getting up to without them, but then again I'd support anything that upsets them.

So before I launch into a tirade against intefering bastards can someone come up with a convincing argument (please note convincing means it doesn't mention religion and is not "I just don't like it" extended over a paragraph or five [BANNING SOMETHING BECAUSE YOU DON'T LIKE IT IS SOMETHING I DON'T LIKE AND SHOULD BE BANNED*]) against cruising. Why should two people you don't know NOT meet up for random sex (and let's say it's safe sex... if they have unsafe sex I can see a certain argument regarding public health being allowed)?

*except people who wear blazers and jeans together, they should all be banned...


  1. Anonymous3:39 pm

    "..I firmly believe that grown ups should be allowed to do as they please.."

    " might upset those worry warts who sit at home and care about what other people are getting up to without them, but then again I'd support anything that upsets them..."

    "..So before I launch into a tirade against interfering bastards.."

    Blimey. Those kind of comments don't show liberalism in a very nice light do they. However, I'm far from shocked. Basically the kind of politics you so often advocate is typical liberal 'me me me'. Lets all do as we like - fuck everyone else. It sucks and it's the reason why the Lib_Dem's will never form a government.

    Liberals so often dress up and espouse this notion of freedom for everyone, but what they're really doing is making damn sure they're able to do just what THEY like regardless.

    Nobody has an obsession about gay sex, or sex period, except of course the people who are gradually hijacking every public space in order to behave in such a childish and immature way. My question to you would be - why on earth do you feel people should need to have sex in parks, playgrounds, toilets, car parks, woods, health clubs, saunas and the umpteen other places that have become extensions to our bedrooms. What's it all about? I fumbled with a girlfriend in the park behind a tree on my way home from school when I was 14. I grew out of it by the time I was 15.

    No, cruising hasn't been part of gay life for a long time. I've been gay for a long time and have never cruised, nor have most of my friends some of whom are only 18-19 - far from being "worry warts that sit at home".

    What is wrong with it? What is right with it?

    We've got to get away from this idea that our country would be a far better place if "adults can do as they please". This kind of attitude is spoiling our country bit by bit. Human beings need control. We all need parameters. Surely you can see this.

    It further aggravates me when I hear people like you espousing your liberal ideology as if you're right and everyone else is wrong. It's liberal fascism at it's worse and I think you need to be reminded that you're part of a minority political thinking. The Lib-Dem's who you work for, support and whom no doubt form the basis of your thinking, aren't popular. Don't try and make people like me out to be some kind of frustrated old fuddy duddys who don't get out enough. Examine your own thinking and ask yourself if the majority of people really want what you so desire - I don't think they do.


  2. Kev I respect your views. And it would appear (given the obvious anger you feel about this subject!) that I've hurt your feelings which I certainly didn't mean to do.

    However I believe your views on me are quite insulting (for one, I don't cruise!). My liberalism isn't about getting what I want. If I got what I really want children would be kept out of sight, smokers would be shot, footballs popped, rude people ghettoised and cars turned into modern art. However I don't believe that would be right and I'll fight for peoples rights to do the above, no matter how much it offends and upsets me.

    Why should people be allowed to play football? They take up space in public parks during the busiest periods (summer days etc), and are loud and annoying. Why should they be allowed to hijack a place of tranquility and rest? Because it brings them some brief joy, for that brief moment when they score that goal, their lives are complete.

    Some gay men aren't out. They can't go to bars, or be open at work. They live a life in shadows.But when they going cruising, they feel free. They meet other gay men, people who share something with them. And at that brief moment when their eyes meet with someone elses, their small sad little lives feel complete. Why is that so bad? This is consensual. This is just sex.

    As I've said before as long as it is discrete and kept out of sight, why does it offend you so?

    The Lib Dems form the base of my thinking??? My family, philosophy, and my study of history form the base of my thinking not some politically motivated group such as that!

  3. Anonymous8:46 pm

    Jae, you haven't hurt my feeling and any insult you feel I aimed at you, was unintentional xx

    I've always loved you and your journal and since leaving Live Journal I can't believe how consistently awesome, funny, witty and thought provoking it's been.

    I do disagree with lots of your politics - but you're still a sweetheart :o)

    Besides, I enjoy it when we lock horns. It's always constructive.

    You asked "why does it offend you so?"... well it's not the sex that offends me - it's more the notion that people think they can do what they like. Unfortunately that's where we differ. Our politics are miles a part on that one thing. I think the further down the 'do as you like' line we've travelled - the more nasty society has become.


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