Eurovision and Moscow Pride

Steve reminded me the other day of an issue I'd first worried about months ago and promptly forgot. Eurovision is being held in Moscow on the same day as the, ever controversial, Moscow Pride.

Peter Tatchell at Moscow Pride 2007

Russian Nationalists and Russian's Orthodox brand of woowoo are certainly not planning on letting Pride pass peacefully. The Mayor of Moscow has made clear his position before. He thinks it's a "satanic" parade, and one that is thus banned in Moscow.

So we face the prospect of people being injured and attacked just for their sexuality, mere moments before the Eurovision final which will be the centre of focus of people across the world.

Given the corruption and backwardness of the Russian security forces these days, and the fact this parade is going on against the Mayor's wishes, attendees can expect no protection from the violence that has characterised this parade in the past.

But that will not stop it. When has violence against homosexuals ever stopped the onwards movement of our equal rights? You may throw stones. You may kill us. But it only makes us more determined to fight for our right to exist as we wish. Peter Tatchell obviously puts the case more eloquently and forcefully here. Good luck to him and all who attend.

So will this affect Eurovision? Probably not. Eurovision organisers are notoriously blind to political matters (which perhaps is a good stance for a music contest!!).

A question was asked about the Dutch parliament discussing eventual withdrawal from the contest if the Russian officials would use violence to stop the planned gay pride parade in Moscow on Saturday. This was addressed by Mr. Stockselius by stating that the Eurovision Song Contest is a non-political TV entertainment show and while politicians could discuss issues like withdrawal it was still always down to the broadcasters to decide. He said the Eurovision Song Contest rules stated that if a country would not rehearse or perform according to a planned schedule it could be sanctioned by a fine and up to a three years’ ban. He also said that every year some countries threaten to withdraw but none have so far. Esctoday

The Toppers, the Netherlands entry, have vowed that, should they make the final, they will boycott it if violence is used against gay protesters.

"If people of my kind are being discriminated against in such a way, I have nothing to expect from this Russia, and I will be on the first plane home."

Is Russia really willing to let something like that occur? Imagine every Eurovision commentator noting the absence, and reason for such, live on air during the performances. Is Russia prepared to help ruin it's hosting of Eurovision? Hmm... Moscow, the eyes of Europe are watching...

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Eurovision Semi Final 1 Live Blog

So it's been a year since we last did this Dear Constant Reader. Here we go again...

I won't bother with videos or song/artist names as they can all be found on my Eurovision page

20:00 I think this is going to be the strongest of the semi finals, with my three favourites all playing: Montenegro, the Czech Republic and Montenegro.

20:02 Magic horses???

20:05 Still no music... but at least we have presenters... can't be long before green room shenanigans start...

20:07 Let's start the show... FINALLY...

Montenegro

20:09 Sexy dancer, proper Eurovision song... :D

20:10 Hmm... not exactly singing so well though. Shame, good song.

Czech Republic

20:11 Gypsies!!! In Superhero costumes...

20:13 Maybe not going to win. Was I on drugs last night? Hmm..

Belgium

20:15 Oops... he messed up.

20:16 Poor guy, can't sing tonight.

Belarus

20:21 A proper ballad!!!

20:23 Liked this one. :D

Sweden

20:24 well she can sing!

Armenia

20:26 Erm... as Jim says "there's a fucking house somewhere missing it's curtains"

20:27 Hmm... the song is alright, but the costumes... wow, how Near Eastern!

Oh it must be the ad breaks as we are having an interview with Jade now...

Andorra

20:33 I didn't know Geri Halliwell was from Andorra

Sweet song.

Switzerland

20:37 Cool ballad. Shame he can't sing.

Bill is also live blogging.

Turkey

20:39 My other favourite, love the clothes, love the song, love the act.

20:42 YAY!!

Israel

20:43 Well usually I give nil points to Israel with my Mum's famous voting comment "Stop killing Palestinians" but this song has a good message so I'll be nice.

20:47 Oh God, it's the green room, although the annoying presenter in the green room is actually quite cute...

Bulgaria

20:50 Stilts, capes, mullets. Bulgaria have truly captured the spirit of the contest.

Rubbish song though

Iceland

20:53 It's a nice song. But it's a little boring. And can Iceland really afford Eurovision right now?

Macedonia

20:56 these guys are actually time travelers from the eighties...

20:57 Ooo... the drummer is hot!

20:58 Good stuff, found myself liking it for some reason

Romania

21:00 One hour in, and we get a song which would probably do ok on the UKs chart. Not bad, if not my sort of thing. Good for background music before a night out.

Finland

21:03 Oh noes. Eurorap.

Portugal

Hmm.. not bad. Very easy to listen to.

Malta

21:12 well I always award 12 points to Malta!! Because they are always nice to us.

Hmm... again.. I quite like this. Surprised.

Bosnia and Herzegovina

21:16 Last song of the night :( Good but NO PASSION...

The songs tonight have, as Bill said in comments, not been awful. But a lot seemed to lack fun/passion/soul. :(

Now... the voting starts.... this will be interesting... new voting system!

Turkey, Belarus, Andorra, Czech Republic to go through please.

21:35 the voting is over... on with the results???

21:39 Steve tells me Tatu are on... and we get a boring segment about how Jade managed to bore the rest of Europe to death with our song. :(

21:42 Mmm... Sakis and Norways entry on the same sofa... wish Sarah would get out from between them.... *allows mind to wander*

21:47 Turn off your telly's! Don't watch our entry... just vote for it. PLEASE. But don't watch it's boring.

21:48 I'd like to give Dimitry an electric shock.

The winners are:

Turkey! YAY!
Sweden!!
Israel. Nice.
Portugal. Random!

Jim's hoping Andorra

Malta
Finland. Eurorap. :S
Bosnia and Herzegovina???
Romania.. what!
Armenia... nooooo...
Iceland.

NO BELARUS OR ANDORRA??? Sacrilege!!

What about Macedonia or Montenegro?

Such a shame. Such a shame.

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It's Eurovision Week!!!

Boris the Bearded Dragon is no more! He is now Gibbs the Bearded Dragon, a renaming decision taken whilst Jim and I took a walk in Greenwich Park yesterday morning. Gibbs is, of course, named after the main character in NCIS, a show dear to Jim’s heart. He is amazingly placid, taking food from Jim’s hand and really not getting to stressed out even when things are being moved around in his vivarium. Based on the short experience so far it has to be said Bearded Dragons make great pets!

In a worrying move, I rediscovered Second Life yesterday. I had deleted most Second Life stuff from blog reader but Massively remained in there for some reason and it reminded me yesterday of my former obsession with SL. I spent the whole day yesterday ignoring Jim and Sling. I will try to control this as much as possible… thankfully this week there is a distraction….

It’s Eurovision week!!! Tomorrow is the first semi-final and so, for my sins, I’ve spent the evening listening to all the Eurovision songs so you don't have to! Here's my picks:

Bulgaria is very eighties, both in the song and the video, I quite liked it.

The Czech Republic's song is awesome!!

Ireland!!! I love you, finally it's a song that is not even REALLY BORING or stupid. Yay!!

Montenegro's song is the sort of song I'd listen to over and over on my iPod.

Poland's entry is surprisingly good.


Switzerland is rather cool this year.

Turkey is one to watch. Crazy for you!

See you tomorrow, for the first Semi Final. All songs can be found on my Eurovision page

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Boris The Bearded Dragon: The First Pictures

Jim has taken the first few pictures of the newest addition to our family. His name is Boris and he's a fearsome dragon. Awww....







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Boris The Bearded Dragon

So ever since we saw the Bearded Dragons at Pets At Home last week, Jim has been pretty much obsessed. Last night we had our mini adventure to Essex to get a vivarium. So today it was hardly surprising that this morning we found ourselves in Charlton Reptiles purchasing all the associated paraphernalia and one bearded dragon.

We've named him Boris and after some fiddling around he is set up in a rather wonderful vivarium where I oft neglected aquarium sat. And he is sooooo cute. Pictures I'm sure will follow.

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Mmm... Steak

I had a flexi day yesterday (a bonus I've earned for doing half hour lunches. I should earn about 2 of these a month on top of my normal holiday entitlement) so Jim and I went down to Lewisham and had a Maggie's breakfast. Mmm... always a fulfilling experience. We then went in search of American Comics, a nearby comic shop, but alas found it had closed down. :( We headed back up to Greenwich and Pets At Home to continue our bearded dragon research, followed by a quick drink in the pub.

After spending an afternoon at home we then proceeded on a late night eBay adventure (I wonder how many of these happen these days) to Chelmsford to pick up a vivarium, and to go in search of steak (Jim's current obsession). We got the vivarium but the steak proved elusive.

All in all a bit of a random day. So I'm "randomly" inserting this "random" picture of some "random" guy.



Oh look it's Spartan!! How random...

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Star Trek

I've been a Star Trek fan since I was very young. I got hooked on TNG from an early age and that turned out to be a gateway drug. It was a slippery slope moving me onto such things as the Star Trek Fact Files, buying too many VHS's and lovingly fondling my first edition copy of the Star Trek Encyclopedia. I've been a Trekker for a long, long time. I even loved (I repeat: loved) Star Trek Voyager. Then Enterprise happened. A prequel. *shudder* Star Trek was about progression, hope for the future and constant striving for improvement and then we were expected to swallow this retrograde, gungho trek through the past which only seemed to contravene all our lovingly held Star Trek lore EVERY EPISODE. No. I didn't like it. I stopped buying Star Trek magazine and moved on.

So the proposition of a movie, set before the Original Series, directed by a man who considered anything after TOS to be rubbish (JJ Abrams even seems to think that after TOS only "fans" watched the rest of the series as it had become "inaccessible". Perhaps it's his age but he must of missed just how popular TNG was!) and with the crew of TOS completely recast, did not inspire me too much. But I didn't whine or moan about it. I sat back and waited. And I'm glad I did otherwise I'd have to eat my hat about now!

Firstly. as a space opera, special effects are pretty important to Star Trek. And never before have we seen them even half as good as the effects shown in this new movie. They were outstanding. The opening scene where the USS Kelvin stands off against Nero's giant ship coming out of a black hole is awesome. Mmmm...

Secondly, the actors mostly seemed to capture the spirit of the characters whilst not becoming parodies. I think Karl Urban may have been channeling DeForest Kelley playing Bones McCoy. Chris Pine was the handsome younger Kirk who captured the arrogance and humour without making fun of Shatner. Zachary Quinto was a great Spock

Thirdly, the story wasn't too heavy but just exciting enough to keep you on your toes.

And fourthly, and most importantly for blowhards like me, it got round the whole messy prequel thing and the problems with keeping with the known stories from the other series by having Nero's trip back in time create a parallel universe. It keeps me happy and means there's now no limit on where Star Trek can go now. It's all new. No TOS, TNG, DS9 or VOY. We are free of the binds and can dream again. This is not a prequel. This is a reboot.

And there was eye candy which I've never experienced in Star Trek before. Chris Pine is hot.



And the guy who played Kirk's father (worryingly he is my age. Kirk's dad is my age. AH!!!!!!!!!!!), Chris Hemsworth, is a total stud.



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Illiberal But Just?

As you know I'm very uncomfortable with the Government banning people from this country simply because of their views.

But I'll make an exception for Michael Savage. Why? Because he's too fucking stupid to even know what country he is banned from.

He told his radio audience that he was intending to sue British Home Secretary Jacqui Smith, who he described as the "lunatic ... Home Secretary of England".

Wrong.

He wrote: "What does that say about the government of England? It says more about them than it says about me."

Wrong again! Until he learns his geography and rudimentary international politics I think America should ban him from travelling as he might easily get lost.

Remember... the Government of this country is the British Government. President Obama is not the "President of Virginia" and Jacqui Smith is thus not the "Home Secretary of England".

Get a brain.

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MOUSE!!!

Let's not pretend mice aren't pests. They are, and pests need to be removed and, sadly, that means killed. I'm fine with that. But Jesus... they aren't something to be scared of!

Jim is scared of mice but I put this down to a phobia and have never thought much of it. But work today proved how silly some people are.

The first sign was a scream from the other side of the room followed by a fleeing mass of people on wheely chairs. A mouse had been spotted. After 10 minutes or so of activity by the facilities department all was quiet until, from the other side of the room there was another scream and the tedious scenario repeated itself. Again. And again.

I saw the mouse. It was no more than an inch long body wise and barely had a noticeable tail. I've seen bigger beetles or even house spiders. But grown men were actually standing on chairs to avoid it.

Mice are not supernatural creatures. They will not come and attack a healthy full grown human. They are not likely to do much damage to you in the short space of time they appear out in the open. So why the screaming?

Personally I think the mouse was uber cute and I now feel bad that the pest controllers will probably have killed him by the morning. RIP Ickle Mouse. You shall be missed.

This blogger works for nothing but the joy of writing but always appreciates things bought from his wishlist

The Ballad of Chasey Lain

Dennis, the local's landlord, spent the morning rearranging the media facilities in the local so that the feed from the eVA device could be shown across all the screens in the pub. Wonderful.

Sadly the music videos were not.... checked in advance and Bloodhound Gang's (p.s. I have a secret: I LOVE the Bloodhound Gang) uncensored video for The Ballad of Chasey Lain was screened throughout the pub (censored/edited version here). First was the lesbian kiss, which had Dennis thinking that this video needed to be deleted. But amusement followed as an actual lesbian sex scene (one word: YUCK) came up on the screen(s).

Children and elderly people were harmed in the making of this blog post.

This blogger works for nothing but the joy of writing but always appreciates things bought from his wishlist

Bearded Dragons

We are going to get a bearded dragon! Wooo!!! In preparation, and to pass a couple of hours, we wandered down to a pet shop in Lewisham. It was great!! Not only did they have interesting creatures for sale (crayfish, lion fish, poison dart frogs and Burmese pythons) but they also had.... KITTENS!! Cue sickening baby talk and gooey noises from Jae. I love kittens....

Although I love Maine Coon kittens even more.



This blogger works for nothing but the joy of writing but always appreciates things bought from his wishlist

What A Beautiful Morning

Had a rather lovely day yesterday. Spent most of it in the pub, which is always a god start, but also went shopping (although was a rather strange incident where a man accused Jim and I of letching over his girlfriend, LOL). We popped into Pets At Home and discovered their new reptile section, and Jim fell in love with bearded dragons. I give it a month until we have one scurrying around our home *pretends disinterest while secretly suppressing his joy*. Really pleasant sort of day.

Today we started early, went and got some breakfast, sat and ate it in Greenwich park feeding the starlings and pigeons and being looking at longingly by passing dogs. Then went round the Queens House and admired the painting collections and the scary Tulip Stairs.

The Ghosts Of The Tulip Stairs

On the way back we stopped off at the market where some idiotic old man grabbed my arm and told me to mind my head. HA! A tall joke I thought (and basically said). I think I am no more than two more tall jokes away from breaking somebody's neck. I was so pissed off that not only did he think making a tall joke to a complete stranger was appropriate behaviour but that he thought TOUCHING me was acceptable. Well it's not and the next person who tries it will die. Unless they are beautiful. Then it becomes acceptable. Grab me all you like I'll shout as I laugh at their hilarious tall jokes. I'm such a hypocrite.

Want to help me get featured in a book? Just click on this link and watch the video. It's about a trailer for a book, safe for work yadda yadda. Pass it round! ;)

This blogger works for nothing but the joy of writing but always appreciates things bought from his wishlist

Primeval: Why Hath Thou Forsaken Us?

I have given Primeval a lot of leeway. I've done that because I find the concept so appealing. Prehistoric animals, time travel, action, adventure and a little bit of geekiness all thrown in together to create a show with near endless possibilities. It's Doctor Who Mark 2. Sadly, and with much regret, this show has become what Sliders (another show I truly, passionately adored and dreamed of being so much more than what it became) became.

Firstly, the cast changes. Getting rid of Stephen Hart at the end of series two was alright. I'd never really taken to him as he just seemed to be there to provide the macho man that such shows seem to assume is required. But I hope Nick Cutter leaving was because Douglas Henshall wanted to move on and not because the producers thought he wasn't what was needed in the lead role. Because him leaving was a very bad thing for the show. The Cutter character was great as a leader, heroic when needed but intelligent and reflective too. Plus his oft broken heart gave the character a quality to empathise with. Plus getting rid of hard but soft Jennifer Lewis was just as silly a mistake.

Now we have this Danny Quinn bloke. What are we meant to think of him? He was introduced as a police officer who had

1) failed to notice a rather violent and aggressive future animal living in an abandoned house which was the centre of his obsessive investigation into the death of his brother FOR TEN YEARS. Hardly what we'd call a super sleuth. You'd have thought he might have noticed this creature before.
2) he had relentlessly pursued an innocent boy/man who he thought had killed his brother and when he discovered he hadn't barely even apologised to him!

And we are meant to believe he is some sort of super cop and accept him as the leader of the ARC team and a hero? He seems more like a stupid tosser to me, but maybe that's because I've been following the character development unlike the writers.

Season 1 was written to an acceptable standard. You could watch it, enjoy it and forgive the slight slips into cliche and sometimes plagirism. Season 2 was much improved, sharper writing and even a season long build up of a story that was brought to a close with the end of the season.

Season 3 has been... rubbish. You have an almost limitless set of scenarios and they seem trapped around the same ones. Ooo... let's bring in mythology. Ooo... let's do a scary horror in a house. Ooo... let's have one where Helen is really evil. Ooo... let's have a dinosaur one again! Each of those is the ENTIRE plot of each of the first four episodes. In order.

Last nights was the last straw. It was so bad it didn't even actually have a plot and seemed just an excuse for some Jurassic Park-esque shots of Terror Birds (oh God I'm lying in the back of a trailer and the T-Rex Terror Bird is CATCHING UP). It was truly atrocious, and wasn't helped by the really awful editing. The car chase scene was so badly edited that at times the car was being put into reverse and then the shot would show it going forward. AH! Plus one scene includes a car hitting a mine. It was obviously edited badly because the effects were so badly done. Why did they do them in the first place? Was it necessary to the story to have the car explode? No. But they did it, they did it badly and then edited it so it looked even worse.

It's frustrating to watch and so I'm left with only one choice. I'm never watching this show again. It is a disgrace for such a wonderful concept to have been destroyed by lazy writing, cheap effects and bad acting (Connor, Abby and Lester are the only ones left who can act and really I'm being kind to Andrew-Lee and Hannah there...)

Such a bloody shame.

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Barbers: What's To Like?

There's something about given up control over the space around your head to someone who's only qualification in life is a proficiency in scissor wielding that doesn't sit right with me. Worse is the need to make small talk and my awkward refusal to do so leading to long silences and much unhappiness. Oh and the mirrors. Staring at my ugly mug for thirty minutes is enough to have me feeling suicidal.

Anyway... it's over for another month. Yay!

Try my latest favourite Youtube music video, yoinked from io9



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Strange Dreams That Hold Us Together

I finally give in, it's about time I commit blogger social death and talk about a dream I had! 2069 posts and 8 years surely gives me permission??

So... Thursday night:

I dreamt Zoe and I (hi Zoe!) had gone to the cinema to watch a movie, I forget what it was, and afterwards headed to a pub. Said pub was a cross between my local, a country pub and Folkestone Spoons. We were "early" so went to our beds upstairs for a sleep. Zoe wasn't too happy and left as MT was sleeping on the floor and was using half her duvet and kept stealing some from her. He then did the same to me, but I encouraged this until we both got out of bed (relax there was only some weird angled leg rubbing, nothing too erotic in this dream [who am I kidding weird angled leg rubbing with MT is a bit like having sex with Spartan in my opinion ;) ]). At which point we discovered we were members of two rival families (think mafia, but less scary) and we began to argue (joined by some brat claiming to be MTs younger brother who was rather rude I must say and not welcome back round my dreams again)

I stormed off and found myself outside a bookshop celebrating "Lesbian History Month". Inside I perused a book about the 100 Greatest Gay People whilst chatting to a lovely old lady shop assistant about who was our favourite (consensus: Alexander the Great as we like a man in uniform). Afterwards I went downstairs and found Jim playing some sort of ball game. On the other side of a wall was his opponent who had so far won £22 off of Jim. He started to taunt Jim so I turned into a Stegosaurus and scared him off. Jim then turned into a Stegosaurus too and some bloke who was watching became a Triceratops and we all frolicked in a strange volcanic landscape for a while before I found myself at work.

Well I say work, it was more a set of desks on a pier directly next to a strange road which was like a loop the loop without the important top bit. My managers discussed how they had once scaled this mighty landmark whilst I developed swine flu and found myself collapsed over my desk at which point I woke up.

WEIRD.

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Having Money Is A Wonderful Thing

You know, getting paid my first monthly pay cheque (for a 3 week period) and knowing next months is not only going to be bigger but bigger than any pay cheque I've ever had (even more than when I was working two shifts at TVW from 8am to 11pm) is quite wonderful. EO seems so long ago and whilst this job isn't perfect it's sure as hell beats working at EO any day (sorry EO kids!). If I forget about the extreme lack of eye candy it's almost perfect. Happy Days indeed.

Today though the Government swine flu posters went up around the office, seeming to cover every surface. This lead to first cynicism and then fear, I tried to explain that the WHO had told all Governments to implement their flu pandemic plans which meant that our Governments plan was simply going ahead by the book but no one paid attention. Alas.



Spartan was on Are You Smarter Than A Ten Year Old? last night. This means my mood is even better than usual. Honestly he is divine!!

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Behind The Front Lines

I think it's agreed... anyone caught sneezing (or in my case coughing) is quickly assessed as a danger. I have to admit on the tube home today even I was wary of the sneezers on the train, and even caught the eyes of one lady as she wiped her nose and she seemed even more worried than I was about her sneeze. This did not help me get over my urge to start walking to work (a practical impossibility alas).

Here in London it feelings like people's feelings are in flux caught between keeping calm and sensible based on the evidence and panicking like a mad person based on rumour and conjecture. We get a confirmed case of transmission on a tube train and London will grind to a halt.

But perspective is key, it's hardly anything to really concern ourselves with at the moment. More worrying are the stupid idiots being brought out of the woodwork who I mention on my other blog.

In better news I earned my first flexi day today (i.e. a day off because I've worked over my hours) and can't wait to use this new novelty following on from my rather large first pay cheque yesterday. Happy times for me!

This blogger works for nothing but the joy of writing but always appreciates things bought from his wishlist

Do Fantasists Dream Of Apocalyptic Sheep?

As I'm sure you, Dear Constant Reader, are more than aware I have a Stephen King fetish obsession. One of his most well known books is The Stand, which just happens to be one of my favourite books of all time. I'm blaming this for my current state of excitement anxiety over the latest flu hoopla.

My over excited mind already has the entire train of infection leading directly from Mexico City here to my place of work. I can see the imaginary journeys and interactions leading to the ultimate collapse of civilisation pretty clearly in my head, possibly all due to a badly trained police man trying to warn his out of town relatives on the outskirts of Mexico City. Darn him. Yes, I have read The Stand far too many times.

I foolishly ventured into Boots chemists in Hammersmiths at lunch and found myself surrounded by coughing/sneezing sick people. This did not help my overheated imagination.

This is exactly how I was during the SARS outbreak sitting someone between excited, anxious and not bothered. Yes I do understand how excited sounds pretty grotesque given the personal tragedies involved. I'm not encouraging it, just being honest!

So I've contented myself with trying to believe that the swine flu is a mild, soon to be forgotten incident somewhat less than even the SARS outbreak and that I've nothing to be excited/worried about. Oh... except for the stupid internet folks I spoke of yesterday on my other blog. I'm extremely worried about these people and hope that if anyone else must contract swine flu it is those who believe that the name "swine flu" is offensive to their religions. That is something I'd describe as criminally stupid.

P.S. Saw TubeBoy today, and he was looking particularly awesome (i.e. his hair's grown out again after a gruesome marine style cut). Did well not to follow him. That way madness lies.

P.P.S Left "The End of Faith" on the self service checkout at Tesco's. :(
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Drunken Ramblings Of A Kentish Bent

So after a stressful week at work (as per usual!) it was a relief to get out of the city and back down to Kent for Jim's birthday on Saturday. On Saturday, after a McDonalds breakfast, we headed up to the County Members (the local in Lympne) and proceeded to get somewhat intoxicated. In fact we were there for 8 hours during which we consumed more alcohol than I've drunk in a very long time.

It was a good day/night in which Jim, Tony and I put the world to rights, played rubbish music on the jukebox and I even failed miserably at a round of pool.

Afterwards I came home and collapsed into a drunken sleep.

Today we've been looking at properties in Stowting, a pleasant village just down the road from Lympne where my family wants to buy a house and stables for their horses plus a cottage for Jim and I. Oh, it doesn't hurt to dream does it? To escape the big smoke and live out in the country...

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Let The Right One In

Or, as we should rightly call it, Låt den rätte komma in.

Sweden... land of meatballs, Ikea and child vampires. And all the better for it.

This movie is a delight. A delight in the dark, backing the murdering bastards sort of way. The central youthful love affair between Oscar and Eli will draw you in, even as the blood and gore with satiate the hardened horror fans among us. Your horror movie hiding pillow will be wet with tears.

The idea of an American remake is, to be perfectly blunt, an insult and an abomination. Perhaps those who are unable to watch movies with subtitles, through no physical impediment, do not deserve to see such gems as this. To remove it from it's context, from it's intrinsic Scandinavian character, would be to remove any joy from it whatsoever.

Once America was the land of movies, but now they just remake their own, and everyone else's, movies. Whatever happened to their writing talent?

Anyway... watch Let The Right One In in Swedish and be a better person.

This blogger works for nothing but the joy of writing but always appreciates things bought from his wishlist

Topless Rugby Players In The Name Of.... Advertising???

Tamati Ellison and other rugby players go topless... for some difficult to discern reason...

This blogger works for nothing but the joy of writing but always appreciates things bought from his wishlist

The Love Of My Life

Whilst Jim might rightly be described as such there is a second; the animal kingdom. No not in that way you dirty minded person! But imagining my life without interactions with animals is difficult.

So it recent things I've picked up on at work really disturb me. Kelly, an Australian, was talking about her recent riding trip to Wales when one of my colleagues mentioned she'd never been on a farm. I was taken aback. Never been on a farm? It had never crossed my mind that someone would not have visited a farm.

Now you might think that coming from Kent I'm some sort of abnormal country boy. But trust me I'm not. I was brought up in Snodland and Folkestone, which are fairly average towns as it goes. Although I admit that I had a best friend who lived on a farm, the reason I was shocked was that a trip to a farm was one of the first school outings my school every did. It was treated as one of the "basics". You learn to add. You learn to write. You visit a farm and learn that animals smell. It's all delightful.

So I was shocked by that but discovered she wasn't alone, and some even suggested that the idea of "touching" animals repelled them. I thought that sounded like something you'd want treated like a fear of balloons or an annoying twitch.

I know, I'm being incredibly judgmental and wrongly projecting my world views on to others. But I sorta feel sorry for these people.

So I said I wasn't a country bumpkin but I have spent a lot of time in contact with animals. First the domesticated ones; the pets of my life:

11 cats (Misty, Garfield, Marmalade, Bonnie & Clyde, Crystal, Millie, Angel, Herlock, Scooby, Tinkerbell)
4 dogs (Max, Shane, Geisha, Molly)
1 American bullfrog called Pocket Money (sadly banned in this country)
Uncountable amount of fish both goldfish, pond fish and tropical.
Stick insects
6 or 7 rabbits (Shudder... BOB!)
A guinea pig
2 goats
2 tortoises (Thomas I and Thomas II both of whom were found wild and returned (i.e. they wandered off) to the wild in and around Snodland)
5 hamsters (Honey & Spice, Chekov and a couple more)

Then the wild ones. We used to take Shane and Geisha for walks in down The Pit in Snodland every day and it was one of the most amazing places for wildlife I've ever been to. Adders, smooth snakes, grass snakes, slow worms, sand lizards, common lizards, newts a plenty and frogs of every colour (some of rather worrying colours). Nothing quite like seeing a pike staring up out of the water at you from underneath an overhanging tree. You'd think twice about getting into the water after that, trust me! Seeing the dark shapes of unusually big fish (carp but could of been whales the way they looked!) from up on the edges of the pit looking down. Poaching goose eggs (yummy when scrambled!). Hunting rabbits. Fishing on the Medway. Hunting lugworms in Dymchurch so we could go fish off the sea wall at high tide. Even just walking to work from Lympne and seeing foxes, rabbits, pheasants and... sheep. Horse riding. Horse jumping.

And then the exotic:

Being mere centimetres from the face of a rather pissed off silverback at Port Lympne, riding an elephant in Thailand, watching porpoises swim along side Bill's yacht in Spain as we went for a cruise or stroking a tiger in Kanchanaburi.

What would my life really be like without those experiences? Amazingly dull. Terrifyingly dull. And whilst I don't think everyone SHOULD have those experiences I really wish they did.

I'm sure they can say I'm missing out on things they do that they love. But at least I'd probably not be repelled by it.

This blogger works for nothing but the joy of writing but always appreciates things bought from his wishlist

Erm.

Saw Zoe on Sunday, which was lovely and that is the highlight of my week. Roll on Saturday.

This blogger works for nothing but the joy of writing but always appreciates things bought from his wishlist

Planet of the Dead: Doctor Who 200?

Doctor Who was on last night for what was billed as the Doctor's 200th story. Woo!!! It can't be all bad if he's made it to 200!

I am going to be honest, I was not looking forward to this special. The end of series 4 left me feeling cold and the Christmas special was the biggest disappointment ever (Cybermen everywhere are still angry).

But I was actually rathered pleased with it. It was watchable, the acting wasn't too cheesy and even an appearance by Lee Evans failed to spoil it. The effects were good, the story didn't drag and David Tennant was brilliant as always. It wasn't the best Doctor Who story ever, Rembrance of the Daleks was of course the best, but it certainly saw me through the evening yesterday!

This blogger works for nothing but the joy of writing but always appreciates things bought from his wishlist

Polar Bears Are Not Cuddly (But They Are CUTE)

Polar bears are the world's largest land carnivore. Males can be up to 3 metres long. The largest male ever record weighed a metric tonne! So I think now all understand... going head to head with a polar bear is a bad idea. Nobody surely would be as stupid as to jump into a polar bear enclosure, even if it did contain the world famous Knut?



Yes. Someone really was that stupid.



This blogger works for nothing but the joy of writing but always appreciates things bought from his wishlist

Easter Weekend

I've made it to Lympne and the family. Jim's hand looks horrible as the big bandage has been removed but, good news has been received meaning things look better health wise for him. Yay!

Yesterday we went shopping. Homebase, B&Q and Pets at Home. Jim got a new laptop which means I get his old one on Monday meaning: NORMAL SERVICE SHALL BE RESUMED! Saw the largest rabbit at Pets at Home, a giant house rabbit at a mere £129. I want!!!

Today we all took Noodles to the beach in Dymchurch, driving across the Marsh which made for a scenic journey. Noodles loved the sea, and is now thoroughly exhausted. I won Jim a rabbit on the grab machines. Had some ice cream and Nan even turned up. All very nice.

I hope everyone else is having as enjoyable an Easter!

This blogger works for nothing but the joy of writing but always appreciates things bought from his wishlist

Pedants Corner

I struggle every day to not be pedantic. I'm becoming more accepting of really bad English, mainly thanks to a recent Stephen Fry Podgram where the T'Internet Messiah Himself admitted he too struggled with language pedantism and needed to get over it. But there is one subject on which I cannot stop myself correcting "mistakes": Britain.

I know, the United Kingdom has only been around a couple of hundred years and is very likely not to last another decade. I am slowly accepting this. But even so I cannot stand people referring to British monarchs as "English". It drives me to distraction. Call them wastes of space. Call them German. But please don't suggest Queen Victoria was "Queen of England". Please do not even think that Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, is "Queen of England". It's just wrong. I'm not being political here, although as a unionist I'm sure you know where I fall in a Britain vs. England political argument. But calling Her Queen of England is not correct. It is not true. It might make sense to some people, but I've always been more a "de jure" person rather than "de facto".

So you can imagine my disgust when my brother showed me some chocolates Mum had bought him when she went to Hampton Court Palace this week. No, I wasn't jealous of the chocolates (he was giving them to me.. mmm...) but instead was shocked by the fact the chocolates were themed on the "Kings and Queens of England". Included among the Stuart and Tudor monarchs (who I will accept had the titles "of England") were Queen Victoria, King George III and King George IV. They are British monarchs. These chocolates had educational "tidbits" on the back and I just thought, how can they be educational when they are historically wrong?

So I sent the House of Dorchester a message explaining that it was wrong. And I feel bad about it. No, not about pointing out their obvious mistake (made no doubt by some poor soul who doesn't understand how disrespectful to the rest of the British population it is to suddenly steal Queen Victoria for England alone). But instead I worry about what that makes me. I find everyone else is so much less dogmatic and pedantic than I am about history and our monarchy. I wish I could be so flexible with the truth. I wish I could not be a pedant but embrace the St. Georges flag (note he never killed a dragon and he never came here so exactly what the heck is this Christian martyr doing as our patron Saint???) and just enjoy myself. Instead I find myself watching everyone else embracing their Englishness and feeling ever more sickened with it all.

I'm just going to have to accept that whilst I'll never consider myself English, the cause of being British is lost. Maybe I can set up a musuem. Where the chocolates have British monarchs and English monarchs and even, imagine, Scottish monarchs. That would be a hell of a lot of more educational.

And Dear "Foreign" Constant Reader do me a favour. Next time you here someone talking about the Queen of England (and not refering to Queen Anne or someone earlier) correct them. Just do it for me. Please. And I'll make sure people over here know Sydney is not the capital of Australia, that the United States of America is not full of idiots and that Holland is just a small part of the Netherlands.

This blogger works for nothing but the joy of writing but always appreciates things bought from his wishlist

Am I Posh?

We were discussing Twilight at work today and I dismissed it as a piece of trash (easy to do when you haven't read it, I find near jerk reactions to popular items much easier than true critical review) because of it's representation of the relationship involved and the subservience of the girl to the boy which frankly rubs me up the wrong way. Anyway...

After I some how insulted everyone by accusing the News of the World Screws of being rubbish and came out as a Guardian reader one person said I was "posh".

Me? Posh? This boy from Snodland, Cheriton and a caravan on Hermitage Lane? I mean, what is posh?

I grew up the son of a single teenage Mum herself a daughter of a divorced Mum of 5 working 3 jobs and living just above the poverty line) and after we left Nan's house when I turned 5 (and Mum turned 21!) we moved first into temporary B&B accomodation in Tunbridge Wells (Tunbridge Wells = Posh, Temporary B&B = NOT POSH). Then we moved into a caravan on Hermitage Lane (next door to a man with a hook for a hand who scared me silly!) and finally into a council house back in Snodland. Hardly posh?

Then what happened? Mum married Shitface, house raided by police, Shitface imprisoned, Mum and me flee to Sellindge and I sleep on the sofa in Tony's room. Now sure it was a mansion, but said mansion was home to the mentally disabled so hardly posh!

We eventually moved into Folkestone, with a nice house and Mum got herself an education and a job. I went to Grammar school, but it was in Folkestone so whilst it might be posh to some who live there to everyone but other than to those from Thanet it's nothing to get excited about (in Thanet I believe they worship Folkestonian Grammar School kids... well I've seen them burn effigies so I'm assuming...)

So I went from working class to middle class. I talk odd for a Kentish person (I've stopped saying "Ain't it" which means 50% of the population no long understands me)

Ok... maybe I'm a snob. But I'm not posh. Alright? And if you call me it again I'll get one of my cous' to fucking belt ya one... ;)

This blogger works for nothing but the joy of writing but always appreciates things bought from his wishlist

Poor and Poorly

Oh yes, poverty has struck me once more, although there is one more pay day before I have to wait until the 28th for my next cash injection. But as I'm normally paid on Friday I'm crossing my fingers the pay run is put through early for tomorrow otherwise I'm truly buggered.

And I'm poorly with the sorest of sore throats. I woke up this morning and experienced that momentary cross between devastation and joy that one gets when you realise you are very ill but won't be going to work. But, alas, my voice returned within 5 minutes and I decided to make my way in so the joy part was replaced with an added dash of more devastation. D'oh.

Planning on heading down to Lympne tomorrow evening after work to spend the Easter weekend with the parental units. Jim deserves the comfy bed and warm surroundings in his current state.

Hmm... hungry and tired and poorly. Hopefully things will get better after the 28th.

Ooo... I just saw a pig fly past my window.

This blogger works for nothing but the joy of writing but always appreciates things bought from his wishlist

Kayne Lawton

Forget Charles Dera, forget even Spartan. There's a new kid in the fight for Jae's unwanted attention. Kayne Lawton of the Gold Coast Titans rugby league team. Whilst I am more a union man myself, I can't help be amazed by his athletic ability.




Yoinked from All Aussie Beef

Yeah... look at his athleticism. Yum. Such a sports fan... ;)

This blogger works for nothing but the joy of writing but always appreciates things bought from his wishlist