Monday, August 10, 2009

Dear Journal

Long Version:

Dear Journal,

It has been 8 years, 2 months and 30 days since I last wrote to you. I was reading the last year of our correspondence (I can't seem to find your replies for some reason ;) ) and I have to say, it was eye opening. Also pretty disturbing. So I thought I'd just write you an apology.

1) my insane blabberings about the Gods, politics, and humanity were pretty messed up. I'd like to say sorry for polluting good paper with my violent, dark tone and terrible penmanship.

2) ignore all those secrets I told you. They never happened. Well they did, but you know what I mean.

3) let's ignore the multiple personality syndrome I displayed in some entries. I've killed off Jason and Jay and there is now just Jae. *does best Jack from Will and Grace impression*. Oh God, I'm doing that whole multiple personality thing again... moving quickly on...

4) I must say a very big sorry to heterosexuals in general, especially male ones. I was extremely heterophobic in my youth. At least in my journal I was. Eek.

5) I apologise for involving you in my suicidal rants and plans to run away.

6) Most of all, I apologise for the "poems". They were, and still remain, perhaps the worst pieces of writing ever written. Anywhere.

I'm pretty amazed you put up with it all that time. Thanks for being there, even if I think that now, in retrospect, it probably wasn't you who I needed. No, it was the men in white coats. I really needed them back then!

Anyhew, as I used to say, you wouldn't mind if I burnt the journals I've got left would you? I was thinking of adding them to In No Particular Order but I think, having read them, I've realised that they are too disturbing, too embarrassing and perhaps too incriminating for anyone to read. Ever.

So, Dear Journal, I think it's time we said a proper goodbye. I've got a new you and their name is Dear Constant Reader. You were a patient listener, a good and loyal friend. But you're such a downer. So farewell bad old times. Hello good new times with Jim and Gibbs and other good things.

TL;DR version: Never read your old journals
This blogger works for nothing but the joy of writing but always appreciates things bought from his wishlist

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