Tuesday, November 08, 2005

What Could Have Been

Watching ITV's "My Husbands Secret Life". It's kind of made me ponder what might have been if I'd made different decisions in my life.

As a side note I'm always amazed by documentaries about gay people, it's just funny to look on gay men through the eyes of an outsider, as if we're strange and different. Bless the straight peoples innocence, little do they realise we are just the bloody same as them. And these gay men in the documentaries... these are not real gay men, least none I've ever met... they are so dumb! One guy just said "There just weren't any gay men in such and such town". Oh hun, how NAIVE! Actually I think gay men's naivety deserves another post!

I thank the Gods that I got over the "it's just a phase" thoughts when I was 14, even if my parents decided to ignore my coming out for a few more years. I just can't bear to imagine the heartache of not going out with men, the hassle of dating girls (EEK!), the dullness of life pretending to be somebody I wasn't.

The last years of school was soooo strange for me, as I continued to pretend to be straight while after school I'd be in a gay bar, or doing something far worse (better!) with a trick or two. It would have been a nightmare to continue that for any longer than I did... so I have to say I have nothing but compassion for the closeted men. I pray for the day NO ONE feels the need to hide their sexuality.

I'm guessing that'll happen around about 20 000 AD... roll on ... ;o)

Corkey's back at Bad Weeds. Praise Jesus!

With Jim away (miss ya hun, love you!), I'm feeling very lonely... so comment god damn it!!!! ;op


  1. I must admit that it sometimes makes me wonder what it would have been like.

    Then again I think of muff and just ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!


  2. In my view every gay man is closeted at some part of their life. It takes time to a) undertand your feelings and b) come to terms with them. Both phases last for a longer or shorter extent depending on personal circumstances, which is why you will always have the 30 year old guys that are married with kids suddenly coming out of the closet.

    Im not sure there will ever be a time where no-one feels the need to hide their sexuality (even 20 000 ;-) ). The fact that the vast majority of people will be raised in a hetrosexual family environment must have some subliminal bearing on what your own personal beliefs are on what is "normal" and "different". Even if its wholeheartedly accepted as a "normal" way of life, gay men will always be in a minority, and not everyone feels comfortable in a minority group.

    Miss you too hun x x

  3. I also find it amusing to realize how some (if not most) people view 'people like us' as if we're aliens!

    I guess, we just have to go on with our lives with as much 'normalcy' as we can and not be bothered by others' naivete. They just have to get used to it. That's just a step towards acceptance, no matter how far along we still are.

    I love your blog by the way, I just BLOGROLLED YOU! :D

  4. It's so nice to see someone who is so open about his sexuality. I see all those people out there too scared to "come out of the closet" so to speak, and my personal opinion is that religion has a lot to do with it.

    For years people have lived by a set of rules imposed years and years ago, many of which are obsolete and don't fit into society these days.

    Way to go, and great blog!

    Keep up the good work.

  5. We women are a terrifying lot, aren't we? ;)

    In my view every gay man is closeted at some part of their life.

    Jim--forgive me if you're familiar with this--there's a theory by Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick that propose that even if you're out, you near really leave the proximity of the closet. There's a sense of almost perpetual closetedness in that, for one, you inevitably have to come out to every new acquaintance/friend.

    But that's just one scary, female outsider's opinion as mediated by another.

    Jae, maybe this deserves a post of its own, too?

  6. have we all forgotten that half naked guy ???


  7. I was "straight" until the age of 20. Then again I was still an altar-boy at 16. Couldn't get enough of the frocks. :-P

    PS. Nice blog x

  8. There's a sense of almost perpetual closetedness in that, for one, you inevitably have to come out to every new acquaintance/friend

    I suppose there is an element of truth in that statement, unless of course your name is Jae, where the only requirement to come out to new people is if they are blind,deaf and the guide dog is fast asleep ...:-D (ooooo.....i'll pay for that one when i get home ;-) )

  9. Adam: I SOOOOO agree.

    Jim: Ok I'm bored of you being away. Come home.

    The Material Boy: A Blogroll??? YA! I shall add you when I get a chance.

    Dawn: I'm nothing special, just being me.

    Natalie: As always you're input to a topic is interesting and educational. Love ya.

    Otis: Don't worry about them, I do it all for you!

    MrStevie: Glad you popped by from LJ!

    Jim: Ok. maybe you should stay away, or you shall pay dearly! ;op Wuv ya x

  10. Aw, Jae, you're so sweet!

  11. Oh Jae sweetheart. I wanna be sycophantic and love you all the time but tonight you've got me all stressed out.

    I gotta disagree with you I'm afraid.

    "We are just the bloody same as them"

    With respect, I'm not the same.

    You may be happy to live in this idealistc, homogenised, rootless, cosmopolitan, grey world where everyone is the same, but not everyone does.

  12. I say we are no different to them. We're unique. That's what makes us the same.

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