It'll probably come as no surprise to you, Dear Constant Readers, that I've been watching the latest series of Big Brother. It's an addiction that's been with me for over a decade now.
One particular relationship in the house is bringing back embarrassing memories of my own youth, and that's the weird relationship between Aaron and Tom. Aaron is straight and Tom is gay. Though my initial opinions of Aaron were that he was a bit of an arrogant prick, I'm beginning to see there is probably a nice guy in him somewhere and he has been very nice indeed to Tom. Tom, on the other hand, comes across as a rather naive, young gay guy who has a bit of a crush on Aaron.
The rather frank discussions between Tom and Aaron over this, which seem almost alien to me now I've matured a little bit, remind me scarily of a particularly strange relationship I had at university which these three posts do not really give justice to.
Let me tell you... having a crush on a flirtatious heterosexual man is the worst possible thing that can happen to a gay guy.
I'm no stranger to unrequited love ("No kidding", I hear you shout). I personally think it's one of the best kinds of love out there. Something sort of pure about a youthful crush on an unobtainable stranger. But getting that feeling about someone who you know, chat with and who flirts back but where NOTHING can ever happen is the most frustrating, heart-breaking and awful thing that can be.
It wasn't even the "You can look but you can't touch" frustration of it. Just like Aaron making out with Tom for a joke, there was plenty of sexually charged (sometimes naked, it was university after all ;) ) contact between me and the object of my affections. But nothing ever happened. The "You can touch but you can't have" frustration trumps all others in my humble opinion.
My advice to Tom would to get a grip on his emotions. Whilst it might be interesting for us to watch, it's only going to be emotionally draining for both parties. Aaron needs to set some boundaries and Tom needs to get some self-respect and stop acting as if Aaron is betraying him when Aaron gets off with girls. I know, asking someone not to have a crush on someone is an impossible request. But there is something to be said about keeping those emotions between you and your blog readers.
If you feel benevolent and particularly generous, this writer always appreciates things bought for him from his wishlist