Saturday, March 06, 2010

Shopping: Is It Really That Hard?

Shopping. It can't be that hard, can it? Pick up goods. Take goods to checkout. Queue if necessary. Prepare money/cards for assistant. Bag goods, exchange money, leave. It's very, very basic. So how come so very few people seem able to do it? 

I can forgive the obviously senile, the elderly and the disabled. But how can you reach the age of 30 with good health and still not be able to understand how to purchase goods in a shop? 

The shocked look on their face when they are asked for money as they pat themselves down, perhaps hoping the assistant will say "Oh, you know what... don't worry about the money today!" The idly standing around whilst the goods are swiped before they suddenly think "Oh, these need to go in a bag!!!".  

It's mindboggling. If we can't perform this simple task, is it any wonder that most of our species believe in sky fairies or that many have bought into the hilarious lie that if you just work hard enough in this life, you'll get to a better place in the next? 

We are surrounded by morons. There's nothing more that can be said. People who can't even carry out their basic daily tasks without stretching their limited intellects to breaking point. It sounds elitist, and hey... it is! I'm no genius but I can catch a train, go to a shop AND work out how to use machines all in one trip! Next time I find some overpaid suit staring stupidly at a train ticket machine or see someone wondering just how a queue works, I'm just going to give them a slap. It's for their own good. I urge you to do the same. 

If you feel benevolent and particularly generous, this writer always appreciates things bought for him from his wishlist


  1. I really would do just that, but I fear for my own safety: I lack any method of defending myself against stupid people.

  2. I've been looking at this post all week. Actually, I've been looking at the photograph alongside it. And I've been wondering: would I? I'm not a muscle queen, and I find all those veiny things a bit disturbing, but on the whole, I think that I would. Given the chance. Which isn't very likely.