Friday, April 03, 2009


So the last two days have been kind of a let down. Based on the G20 protesters self promotion and the media furore around the event I was expecting nothing less than an apocalyptic rearranging of the natural order of our civilisation.

Instead we got some broken bank windows and a couple of bloody noses which, even if we count the one possibly unrelated fatality, is probably a better tally than a Friday night in Soho. Hardly revolutionary.

Thanks to Zoe who bought me a book from my wishlist! Hater by David Moody which is, based on the first few pages I’ve read so far, the sort of book I like. Zoe is hereby awarded “Dearest Constant Reader” status.

Things I’ll Never Understand, Part One of Many

1) People who press the buttons to open the train door before the button lights up. And I don’t just mean press it once, they stand there pressing it repeatedly and, in so doing, inevitably miss the moment the button lights up and make us all wait an extra second. Sure I don’t mind the extra second, but it just seems to be counter productive as I’m assuming they are pressing the button so furiously as they are anxious to vacate the train. Based on my experience I’ve so far never seen a train door open BEFORE it lights up thus is there really any point standing there repeatedly pressing the button like a numpty? Nope.
2) People who read magazines in W H Smiths. So you are bored, waiting for your train, and you decide you want to have something to read while you wait. Do you: i) go to W H Smith, buy a magazine, keep people in the retail and press sectors in honest work and go to a place out of others peoples way to read it or ii) go to W H Smith, decide to be a cheap arse and thoughtlessly stand in the way of those paying customers wishing to get to the magazines you are standing directly in front of just so you can peruse some trashy mag? Which do you choose? If it’s ii) I think you suck. I went to W H Smith the other day and spent almost 5 minutes trying to reach one magazine during which time not one of the mindless zombie readers even thought to move an inch let alone let me pass. And if you are reading this magazine just to check that you’ll like it before purchasing it, I shake my head in disbelief. Buy the magazine. If you don’t like it, don’t ever buy it again. It’s £5 and possible disappointment or you save money but cause inconvenience to others. £5 is cheap, surely, to avoid getting in others way? Or am I the only person who cares about other people when in public?
3) People who can’t use pelican crossings. It’s real simple. There’s a button, you press it, you wait for the green man to appear, you walk. It seems every time I get to one of these crossings everyone is standing there like an idiot and not one of them has thought to press the button. I appear, press button and due to the length of time that’s passed since the last normal person came by and pressed the button the green man comes on immediately and everyone crosses. Amazing!
4) People who wait until the last minute. Be it waiting to get their ticket out until they are at the ticket gates at a station, waiting until the cashier asks them for money before they begin the long hunt for their purse/wallet or expressing surprise that those behind them might want to use the cash machine as they finished half an hour ago but have decided the machine gives the space to rearrange the contents of their coat pocket/bag.
5) People who moan about other people getting in their way, and delaying them. Who do they think they are? Do they think the world should revolve around them? Arrogant bastards the lot of them ;)

This blogger works for nothing but the joy of writing but always appreciates things bought from his wishlist

1 comment:

  1. I love the book. My brother is so mean, he stands behind blind people at a pelican crossing and says "beep beep beep beep beep" in a high pitched voice - I hate that!