Over the last 8 years or so I've gone from being a newbie chicken on the scene, to being a scene queen and now to being someone who hasn't stepped foot in a gay bar in this country for... well... years! I think last time might have been 2006 in the old Ku Bar to watch the World Cup with Sam America. If it was more recently then not by much.
I've stopped buying Attitude, AXM and even my beloved Gay Times (I'll admit to buying it more recently but beyond reading Terry Sandersons column, I didn't really read it). I barely read any gay centric news stories any more. I stopped feeling part of the "gay community" around about the time when they all rolled over and gave up when civil partnerships came out. It made me realise that my political and social beliefs were obviously not in line with the majority of other people in the GLBT community. I wanted true equality and maybe even something better for all people regardless of sexuality. I still think Peter Tatchell's concept of partnership freedom is more in line with my thinking. They just wanted a practical solution to their immediate problems, and didn't give a darn for using our unique position to make things better for everyone. That's when I realised the whole "gay community" thing is a lie. We are just like everyone else, with our own agendas and with our own fair share of stupid sheep people.
That is what makes me even more angry at homophobes who see some sort of gay mafia conspiracy in every move for greater rights made by GLBT people. Forgetting for a second the sheer stupidity of the initial concept, they simply haven't got a flipping clue about how diverse we are. They make blanket accusations of gay men being sexually more active than heterosexuals (LIES) and that gay men are effeminate... which is amusing as they probably don't realise how many quiet gays there are out there, living without bothering anyone, unnoticed. They probably work with them, are friends with them and even related to them... and they just will never know. And that's when my rage disappears and is replaced by laughter. Because that's why they will never win... they don't even have a clue what a GLBT person is.
Anyway... what was I saying at the start, oh yes... I've lost my gayness. Jim might still say I'm camp (and who am I to argue??) but I no longer really consider myself gay. I'm now just a man who likes men. Sure I'll still hang in gay bars if I get the opportunity, I'm not making any changes in my life. But I'm bored of the gay label. I'm not gay, I'm just another human being. I just happen to think that men are the most gorgeous thing. Ever.
If you still like seeing guys naked and, more importantly, getting naked with them - then I think you are probably still gay.
ReplyDeleteOh you know what I mean!
ReplyDeleteIt has always amazed me how we try to define people by who they share an orgasm with. What's the big deal if you prefer a man or a woman or both? You are still the same person right?
ReplyDeleteAnd let's be honest - we probably spend the majority of our existence having them by ourselves.
Apologies if my comment has embarrassed anyone but I've decided to age disgracefully :-D
I can completely understand and relate. I think the difficult part is that "mainstream gay culture" has its downsides. More than good things, you could say. But I think there's an overwhelming number of us who feel "out of the loop".
ReplyDeleteThe bars grow old (for most of us) and we all want to be individuals. Still, I can't deny that comfort zone provided by the thought of a community. Like it or not, society labels us all in some fashion. But it doesn't mean we have to live up to those stereotypes...