Sunday, November 30, 2008

Who's Been Buying Me Stuff???

I went to place another book onto my Amazon wishlist and was shocked at how empty it was. Quickly checking my purchased items I realised someone had gone and bought me almost my entire wishlist!! Jim denies all knowledge and my understanding of the current state of his wallet backs this up so my suspicions rest on my mother until I see proof other wise. Gave me a big smile anyway.

So I've gone and updated my wishlist with all the sequels to what has been bought already... YAY!

Golden Wonder Crisps

You, Dear Constant Reader, remember the happy days when branded Cheese and Onion crisps came in green packs and Salt and Vinegar came in blue packs. All was right with the world back then.

Then one day Golden Wonder disappeared. No it never ceased to exist, Wotsits and others carried it's name on for a time before falling to the sword of the evil empire, Walkers, but their normal flavoured crisps just disappeared from the shelves. The dark age of a topsy turvy world where you never could tell what flavour of crisp you'd get just from the colour of the pack descended upon us.

Jim and I went to Makro yesterday and found Golden Wonder crisps!!!! Yes... and so it came to pass that I did take a green pack and behold it was cheese and onion. And it was good.

Tasty, tasty, tasty! I've not really been a great crisp fan for many years. The flavours were not there for me. Now I realise I simply had grown used to the awesome flavours of Golden Wonder and nothing else could compare. Crisps are good again!

And you know the scary thing... the scary thing is I am not only not being paid for this post, no one even asked me to write it! I know... in this modern day of paid per post blogging I'm really missing a trick.

Go get some Golden Wonder crisps!!

Saturday, November 29, 2008

I Is Most Proud

My sister has started a blog


On Thursday three separate tenants called me "The most helpful person they have ever spoken to" at Plan B. Which is either a sign of just how good I am or a sign of just how awful Plan B's service is. Gave me a nice buzz anyway. 

Other than that... all is quiet on the West Greenwich front. 

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

The Most Helpfullest

Yes, that is what one tenant called me today. Happy days. :D

Yesterday night was quiz night and the Tail Enders didn't do too badly... we were joint third before a tie breaker question:

In what year was the first manned balloon flight?

Seconds later my answer was submitted. Guess who'd be swotting up on air balloons? Me!!!

1783... mwhahahahaha! Moonlight Investigation has it's plus sides!

P.S. I'm greatly annoyed to discover that the George H W Bush was the 41st President of the United States which that bloody quiz master got wrong and I got right. Grr... with that point we'd have been joint second and with that question would have flown through into second place. ;) God... I'm sounding like one of those sad quizzers who take it way too seriously...

Monday, November 24, 2008

Survivors: Good and Bad

So I watched Survivors last night and when it finished I went to sleep quite happy about what I saw. But having had time to contemplate it I've begun to feel a little disappointed with the show.

Firstly I realised that despite the extended (compared to the original series) scenes of the beginnings of the virus as it spreads around London, those scenes are pretty terrible at relaying any sense of true horror or dread at what is in effect the end of the world. One second things are bad, the next everyone is dead. They may as well have just started with everyone dead and not bothered with the pointless, unexciting lead up. Are we really meant to believe half the population took days to die and then the rest suddenly died while everyone was asleep??

Then we have the acting. Jesus... I was so pleased to see Freema from Doctor Who but then she died leaving us with a bunch of actors who seemed unable to convey any sort of emotion. Do they really think everyone would just wake up one day, find the world dead and within 7 days be able to talk about their friends and family dying without any emotion?? Sure some might be totally shocked but others would be letting some emotion out.

And post apocalyptic Britain so far seems like a dream! Everyone died in their homes or in hospitals or mosques and the roads are practically clear except for the occasionally plot forwarding randomly placed car. In a panic that would follow a pandemic like this most roads would be clogged with cars and as accidents increased it'd only be worst. Where was the chaos? Losing power and water is hardly dramatic or really very important given that by the time the public found out about the end of their world they would have been rioting in the streets. Where were the piles of bodies clogging door ways? The fires out of control? Would Britain really just die out so quietly?

Finally in more storyline based concerns I really don't care for any of the characters. A Muslim preachy school kid, a less than preachy lapsed, nouveux riches Muslim who you just know will be praying within 2 episodes thanks the kid reminding him of Allah being great, a criminal who seems to have thought a bag full of £50 notes might somehow come in useful in a post apocalyptic world, and Abby who is the most dull lead character I've ever seen.

All in all not a great start... roll on episode two. Let's hope there's some improvement!

Sunday, November 23, 2008


The new Survivors starts tonight!!! 9PM on BBC One. You HAVE to watch it. I don't care about any feeble excuses like "I don't like sci-fi" or "I didn't like the original" or even "I don't live in Britain and can't watch it". Watch it!!

Why am I so determined you watch it? Because the original Survivors was amazing. I mean, it was totally the most awesome programme on telly.

I also have to admit without Survivors I'd never had found I loved Doctor Who. Back in the early nineties Survivors was shown on Sunday mornings before Doctor Who and my laziness kept me on UK Gold after Survivors had finished enabling me to discover the pleasures of travelling with a Time Lord.

So watch it. Or watch out! ;)

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Worzel Gummidge Makes Me Smile

Dead Set: Dead Good

I watched the Dead Set today. I had intended to watch it on broadcast but missed the first episode and decided to wait until I could watch it from the start.

For a television series it's pretty darn good with the Big Brother setting actually adding realism (I know, irony!) and making it feel a lot more raw. Davina McCall as a zombie, brilliant! The best parts however were those set outside of the Big Brother house and the ending was somewhat grim and flat. But it certainly had a lot to say about reality television and our society and it was full of zombie's!! So it gets the Jae Seal of Approval.

Friday, November 21, 2008

The Seat Chasers

I really truly cannot stand one part of my commute, of any journey in fact in London; the seat chasers. These hideous creatures jostle, and push as soon as a train begins to slow as it draws up to the platform and by the time the doors are drawing level with them they are craning their necks, getting in everyone's way trying to pick out THE SEAT that is going to get them home in the most comfort. As the doors ping open they are already so excited they are practically bouncing up and down, that's if they have deigned to allow those on the train to get off before they board, (a rare event but not unknown) and then they bundle in through the doors weaving past people as they head towards some distant seat that is the one they crave. They care for no one but themselves and make taking a train somedays a living Hell.

I may have sold my soul and become a member of the rat race but the day I become a seat chaser is the day you are officially allowed to kill me.

Yesterday Plan B had some visitors from another Trust who had come to marvel at the disorganised rabble efficient organisation we had. One of the group came and listened in with one of my Seniors and I just sat their with one thought in my head:


But no matter how hard I tried I couldn't put my finger on it. When he said his name was Malcolm I internally noted that matched my incomplete records, but I was still none the wiser as to who he was with relation to me. I noted the sort of haunted look in his eyes that said "I used to be better than this" and I guessed then he must have been something more important in a past life. I didn't talk to him, it being rude in my opinion to wander up to someone and go "I KNOW YOU" and it was some few hours after he left before I realised who he was. He was the departmental head of my department at TVW. I'd last seen him dressed up as Pudsey bear, as he was chief organiser at the Children In Need call centre I sometimes volunteered at. I remember him being a very jolly man and can only imagine how it must have been for him to have been let go from a job like that and becoming instead a simple manager for a repairs team at some not for profit organisation.

Of course I don't know that he was let go but I also know he was. If you know what I mean.

I'm writing a story at the moment. Haven't written one for so long, God it feels good. :D

Thursday, November 20, 2008

The Tube

I always said I'd never get a job where I had to get the Tube to the office. But despite my reservations the District line isn't bad, I can a seat on the way home everytime and often get one on the way to work too. And I sit down, something I don't do on trains out of respect for others, but District line trains have fab individual seats in each carriage meaning I don't inconvenience anyone else with my big legs when I'm sat down.

But you don't half get some weirdos on the tube. A man got on the District line at South Kensington today and stood himself awkwardly between me and another man. He looked up briefly and he had the strangest eyes, they reminded me of a big cat's eyes (black slits on bright yellow, I'm talking weird!) He looked back towards the door and held his face against it. He held on to the door when the train moved off, like he was a adrift at sea and that door was the only thing keeping him afloat. At Gloucester Road he swung off the train (literally swung, keeping one hand on the door even with it open) to let people off before swinging back into place just before the door shut. He repeated this at every station, eliciting more than a few odd looks from everyone else in our part of the carriage, before he swung off ahead of me at Hammersmith and wandered UP the platform beyond the stairs... to nowhere. The platforms ends not far beyond that point...

Just another day on the Tube...

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Did I Mention...

...I'm totally hooked on Tom Milsom (thanks Jim!)?

Especially Catsongs II

I demand you buy his album now. I earn nothing off that link, I'm in it for your musical betterment alone.

Jaws II And Reese's Cups...

Why is it that I just love cheesy monster movies (Lake Placid 2 and Shark in Venice excluded... oh who am I kidding... Lake Placid 2 was worth it for the hilariously bad effects. Shark in Venice however is truly the worst movie ever made)?

Jaws II. I love that movie, and I'm watching it as I type (something which always drives Jim crazy... he thinks I can't multi task!). But I've found the movie is even more greatly enhanced when munching on some Reese's Cups Jim's American colleagues have brought over for him me. I'm not talking about those big ones that are available all over the place now. I'm talking about the miniature ones which I love to eat in a typically weirdo Jae fashion (bite the bottom off then savour the thick chocolate top). Mmm..

Work work work. Yesterday I learnt I was officially the best person stats wise in my department. Mwhahahahahaha. But still work is soooo last year and I really, really just want to live the life of a pampered British country gentlemen. *crosses fingers for explosion of Google Ads clicks on other blogs soon*

Monday, November 17, 2008

On Stephen King

One of my strongest memories of my dark teenage years is of sitting in my room depressed and bored listening to the Manic Street Preachers "This Is My Truth Tell Me Yours" when I happened to pick up a copy of The Tommyknockers that had somehow made it's way onto my bookshelf. It's cover was aged and bent and the pages were yellowing and it smelt of "I've been in a box in an attic for years". But I started reading. And I didn't stop reading it until I was finished.

It wasn't my first Stephen King book. It isn't my favourite. But it is the book that changed me from someone who read Stephen King books into someone who loved them. It was from then on that I purchased as many Stephen King books as often as I could afford to. I know what you're thinking, so what? I am not proficient enough with words to express what his writing has meant to me. I don't mean that in the crass "I'm your number one fan" sort of way. But the way he writes and the ideas he expresses have influenced me greatly. The music of Catatonia and the writing of Stephen King acted as a tourniquet to my fractured, depressed mind and helped mold me into the man I am today. From the use of the word "mayhap" to the phrase "Dear Constant Reader", the way my brain speaks (if not how I really speak) is heavily Stephen King reliant. His obvious love of America, Americans and Americana fuelled my own passion for American history and culture. His movie "Maximum Overdrive" helped rekindled the love of rock that my mother had tried so hard to foster (she's off with George to a Motorhead concert next week).

His book It gave me a summer that in the darker days of 1998 I couldn't have myself. Sure it's a book about a homicidal alien creature but it's also a book about childhood, about friendship and about the good within the bad. His book Bag of Bones chilled my spine. I found Desperation under my Mum's bed after she'd put it there to try and put it out of her mind, it had disturbed her so much. I found it deliciously dark. I love The Long Walk, a book I think every one should read once in their lives. The Stand is Stephen King's take on the end of the world, featuring God. It also happens to be my favourite book. Needful Things is a farce of epic proportions that you can't help but like. Misery is too well written for words. Gerald's Game the book I think I'll never finish... I always get half way and then stop reading... The Regulators is strangely alluring, it's surrealism makes it stand out in my memory. 'Salem's Lot and Pet Sematary remind me, in a good way, of rainy days. But there is one book that has stayed with me far more than any others.

The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon it's haunting. The story of a girl lost in the words. It's beautiful, it's well written and unlike many of Stephen King's books it's easily read.

I'll never be the fan who writes a letter to express my thanks, but here on my own little pieces of t'internet I say a big Thank You to the man whose words have been with me as a constant companion for nearly half my life.

Sunday, November 16, 2008


Well after watching Predator and Predator II round my parents house, Jim and I come home to find Alien vs. Predator on the telly! Which means I can print a picture of husband no. 2 without guilt.

The only senior Republican I'd have sex with? You bet your bottom dollar. Until Dolph Lundgren gets elected to Governor of California, make mine Arnie.

Speaking of husband no. 1...

My heart remains forever He-Mans. One day Dolph will realise we got married when I was 5 and will come be my sugar daddy (Jim, you can be my bit on the side ;) )

I'm Not In A Very Good Mood

And it hasn't been helped by my brother and Jim deleting my 7 year old Amazon wish list. Here's my new one... Jae's New Amazon Wishlist Thank God I did that post yesterday!!!!!

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Evolution Of A Wish List

My Wish List has been around almost since the beginning of this blog. Over time it's changed almost as much as this blog has as you, Dear Constant Reader, have purchased things for me or I've come into money (for which read "got new credit card") and I've added more and more things to it.

The first few items on there are the remnants of my wish list from design. I once set out and spent time on Amazon finding the things I really wanted. So there's the Six Feet Under Box Set or the only Sue Townsend book I don't own; Adrian Mole: The Wilderness Years. Then the obsessions took over.

Sharks. I love sharks. And wow, I added quite a few shark related books and videos! Then I moved off into more random waters and added a few "evolution of the future" books and DVDs like the awesome (and desperately wanted) The Future Is Wild

Then it returns to a more natural progression as tidbits are added as and when I came across them; The Husband by Dean R Koontz through to In Me Own Words: The Autobiography of Bigfoot (thanks to Arwen for that suggestion). All sorts of random stuff was added at that point... then the obsessions took back over with avengence.

My unemployed bumhood of a couple of months ago spawned a return to my comic obsession.... and boy does it show on my Amazon wishlist. To be honest I could trim a few off but then again I do want every single one so I think I'll just leave them there. But I love in the middle of these graphic novels up pops Another Gay Sequel - Gays Gone Wild [2008]. Random is as random does!

And finally one more natural progression... from comic books to just general nostalgia. These last things aren't going to make any one's list of top quality books or movies (except Where the Wild Things are, if you don't like this book then you have no soul!!!!!!) but they have an incredible amount of nostalgic importance to me.

Pinocchio And The Emperor Of The Night; has few redeeming features. The animation is crude, the sound quality horrible, and the plot insane. But it was also one of my most treasured movies as a child even if it's way too scary for anyone under 11 to be allowed to see.

The Animals of Farthing Wood; sure maybe it's well below my reading age but I love anthropomorphic animals.

Do I really need to explain Return To Oz [1985]?

Friday, November 14, 2008

When Will I Get My Picture In The Paper?

How difficult could it be to make £20,000 a year working for myself doing something that doesn't involve too much standard customer service? Here's my thoughts:

1) Become a tarot reader. There are so many fools out there who believe in this stuff (hey... I used to before I came out of my crazy phase) that I could pull in plenty of money. It doesn't involve pretend psychic abilities, just read the card and you're away... 

2) Further monetize my blogs and encourage my readers to always click on Amazon links on my websites whenever they use it thus netting me some cash

3) Found a religion. L Ron Hubbard only had one failing, he was totally batty. Surely if I were to sanely start a new religion and thus enjoy the fruits of my creation (shitloads of cash...). Hmmm... maybe it's time to resurrect Jaeontology.... if I remember correctly it involved us wearing necklaces made of paperclips at work... 

4) Write a diet book, a self help book or a New Age philosophy book. You need no scientific background to be successful in this field. 

There's so many stupid people out there with money... what other ways could we separate them from it?? ;) 

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Pictures From Another World

Ooo... once upon a time in a land far far away (Snodland) there was a little boy named Jason.

He loved Thomas the Tank Engine more than life itself and would remember his Thomas the Tank watch for the rest of his life.

He was often seen in exotic locations such as Eastbourne, wearing the latest, trendiest clothes and hanging out with cool people like Uncle Nic

He took pleasure in the small things such as playing with his Uncle Claude's exciting pencil sharpener collection... these weren't just any old pencil sharpeners! These were working cars, working bingo ball mixers and working clocks that also happened to sharpen pencils! He loved them more than he'd ever be able to express.

He'd yet to discover cardigans are not known for their attractiveness.

A keen lover of cars, he liked to collect rusty old ones without doors.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008


...there I was minding my own business and rereading Piece of Blue Sky on the District line to Hammersmith when Sarina bounds up to me like an overexcited Tigger.

Oh I've missed that girl, it was so good to see her.

In other news... I'm getting a little more confident in what I'm doing at work. Which is making me somewhat happier even if the more than occasional death threat puts a downer on even the best of days.

You know what would make life a lot better... some eye candy. Or even just some mind candy. The guys at work are bland looking and bland thinking. And it's driving me to distraction... but it's just football with them. That's the beginning and the end of their conversations. Nothing in between (unless there's some Bible studying going on... woo hoo...). I dream of some intellectual stimulation at work...

Jim told me I've been signed up to be quiz master at the local pub on 16th of October. Worrying. I think it'll be hard to find the right balance between fun and challenging. Make it too fun and the hardcore quiz crowd will become annoyed, make it too difficult and it stops being fun for most people. Hmm... so no cryptozoology round then...

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

I'm Dreaming Of A Way Out Of The Rat Race... Still

Yeah. Working sucks doesn't it? Why can't I just be a pimp or the guy at Makro who checks your receipt before you leave? Those are the sort of cushy jobs designed for a lazy arsed bastard like me. Thanks to the person who surfed to Amazon through a link from this blog and purchased a Britney Spears CD... you just earnt yourself a Jae Kay Merit Badge...

I feel so gay. That's how I'd describe it... a sudden renewed interest in men, my liking for camp pop music returned and my interest in gay politics refreshed... all since Friday. Well renewed interest in men means less subtle perving. ;)

Thanks to Jim (and Patrickblog) I'm in love with the Veronicas and Lady Gaga (Boys Boys Boys is awesome and Paparazzi rocks my socks soooo much!). New Zealand's finest.

And the rejection of Proposition 8 in California has served as timely reminder why we need to continue the long fight for freedom against the oppressive. Jim showed me the video below yesterday and I just thought; that's your argument against gay marriage??? Wow. Stupid...

I feel sorry for folks who believe that Catholic charities removing their services is a bad thing!!! Catholics + Children = ? I'll let you be the judge of that one but personally I think adoption services by Catholics are probably a lot more dodgy than gay adoptions...

Sunday, November 09, 2008

I Want Jensen Ackles Babies

That is all.

Lest We Forget

As is traditional for this blog on Remembrance Sunday, below is Wilfred Owen's "Dulce et Decorum Est"

Bent double, like old beggars under sacks,
Knock-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge,
Till on the haunting flares we turned our backs
And towards our distant rest began to trudge.
Men marched asleep. Many had lost their boots
But limped on, blood-shod. All went lame; all blind;
Drunk with fatigue; deaf even to the hoots
Of tired, outstripped Five-Nines that dropped behind.

Gas! Gas! Quick, boys! – An ecstasy of fumbling,
Fitting the clumsy helmets just in time;
But someone still was yelling out and stumbling,
And flound'ring like a man in fire or lime...

Dim, through the misty panes and thick green light,
As under a green sea, I saw him drowning.
In all my dreams, before my helpless sight,
He plunges at me, guttering, choking, drowning.

If in some smothering dreams you too could pace
Behind the wagon that we flung him in,
And watch the white eyes writhing in his face,
His hanging face, like a devil's sick of sin;
If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood
Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs,
Obscene as cancer, bitter as the cud
Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues,
My friend, you would not tell with such high zest
To children ardent for some desperate glory,
The old Lie; Dulce et Decorum est
Pro patria mori

In May I had the chance to visit the graves of Allied soldiers in Kanchanaburi in Thailand who died during the war against the Japanese. It was a truly touching and emotional experience seeing row after row of headstones, labelled with every nationality and religion, age and class. Humanity still has a lot to learn.

We owe so much to those who died, but the thing we owe most is that we must never forget their sacrifice and we must redouble our efforts to avoid the loss of even one more life in pointless battle. May They Rest In Peace.

Saturday, November 08, 2008

Friday, November 07, 2008

As The World Turns

Yesterday I made the trip down to my old work down in Vauxhall. Paul was having a leaving do, and as he is one of the old timers I thought I'd show my face. It's only been 3 months but honestly I could probably have named less than half the people there. It was just full of new people. There were a few hold outs down in accounts, and a smattering across the other teams but beyond the core customer service group the company might as well be one I never worked for. Which made me glad to have left.

But for those who I did know, I still have a great affection and much hugging did ensue. Paul's leaving do was much like mine: bowling and then noodles. The perfect recipe for a good night out. Bowling was great, noodles were yummy and it was so cool to catch up with everyone.

So I've learnt I don't miss Euroffice (hi marketing, using Google Alerts is so last year!) I just miss the people there. And as people like Paul are leaving and most of the temps I remember are soon to go, there is no point looking back. Just need to remember to meet up with them more often.

Oh and my other friends too. I've been such a bad friend these last few years. Sorry!!

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Fare Ye Well Mr Crichton

When I was 10 years old I picked up a book that has brought me more pleasure than pretty much any book I've ever read since. It was Jurassic Park
and it is important to me as the book that marked my transition from a reader of children books into a reader of adult novels.

I thus owe a debt of gratitude to Michael Crichton, and I have been greatly saddened to hear of his passing. Whilst I think Michael Crichton held views on science and politics that I find abhorrent, and his writing has proved increasingly controversial, his books (including The Lost World and Congo) will always mean a lot to me.

May He Rest In Peace

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Mmmm... Baby Eels!!

So... after a hellish day at work which finished with a grown man sobbing down the phone at me, after he had accused me of being homophobic and had kept me behind after work (I don't get paid after 5pm people!! Grrr...), I headed home and had five seconds to have a shower and get changed before Jim and I headed down the local to meet up with Denis, Karen, Nal and H. It was H's birthday celebrations and so we headed into town for dinner at Salvador and Amanda. It's a tapas bar, and not too bad considering. It has an interesting decor and the food was great. I recommend their lamb and their baby eels (a Karen suggestion done good... they are yummy!). 

We headed up to Cafe Nero in Soho before heading back for a night cap at the local. 

Today has been just another day at work, but I was pleased at lunch to see 4 people wearing Obama "Progress" t shirts. Go Obama!!!!!!!!!! :D We live a whole continent away and yet still we are waiting eagerly to hear who wins the American election. Did we used to get this excited when Truman or Eisenhower got in? I wonder... 

Sunday, November 02, 2008

Giants On The Brain

Yesterday Jim and I headed down to Lympne for a "brief" visit with the parental units. Jim was going down to do his usual family duties of being ordered around fixing things. I spent my time watching telly, being called old by my younger brother and attempting to avoid upsetting my sister which is always difficult to do. Yesterday she mentioned how she was glad my Nan hadn't come down as "she can be annoying". When I told her off for that she went off into a terrible strop. Hmph. 

Later on Uncle David, his Mexican girlfriend Cecilia and his daughters turned up (they're living there whilst he sorts out a house now he's back from working in Mexico) and we all laughed our way through X Factor together. 

We got home at about 11pm which allowed us time to head to the local for a closing time drink. Which meant we didn't actually get to our house until 3 am!! But it was actually a really good day. 

Today, nothing to special. Lunch at the pub. 

I'm totally focussed on my latest subject of choice... giants. I'm doing some posts on them over at Moonlight Investigation. Speaking of which... here's my favourite piece of "research" so far ;)