Oh To Have The Comfort And Certainty Of Faith

Spring has well and truly sprung, birds are singing in trees and our resident gulls, Gary and Glenda, have set their nest up again and have begun raising another family of chicks. It's at times like this that memories of my years as a Wiccan come to the fore.

There's something about the vibrancy of nature at this time of year that makes me very nostalgic for the feelings I had as a "believer". The comfort of believing in a higher power, the oneness of "creation", is a heady drug.

My fascination with religion in general has always persisted even after I lost my beliefs but I often have very mixed emotions when encountering the religious. One side of me feels deeply sorry for them, as I have no doubts that even if there was a God the chances they've chosen to worship the right one/pantheon are minimal, whilst the other half feels deeply jealous of them. To be able to lessen the minor and major pains in life even just a little, thanks to your belief that it'll all pale into insignificance compared to the glories of your afterlife future, would be extremely welcome.

The certainty of believers of all stripes must be a relief too. The truth of non-belief is cold and uncertain. I do not claim to know if there is or is not a God. But my logical mind suggests there is not. It certainly does not see how any of the religions on display in our world today could be the "One True Religion" that they all claim to be.

I can see why it can be so difficult to give up on faith, even if you flit between denominations and religions in a desperate search to find the "Truth". I long to return to the warm embrace of thoughtless belief and devotion to a pantheon of Gods who I once adored.

Being sceptical and independently minded has it's benefits. But certainty and comfort are not among them. I find myself drawn more and more towards absurdism and I think Albert Camus sums up my feelings well:

I don’t know whether this world has a meaning that transcends it. But I know that I cannot know that meaning and that it is impossible for me just now to know it. What can a meaning outside my condition mean to me? I can understand only in human terms. What I touch, what resists me — that I understand. And these two certainties — my appetite for the absolute and for unity and the impossibility of reducing this world to a rational and reasonable principle — I also know that I cannot reconcile them. What other truth can I admit without lying, without bringing in a hope I lack and which means nothing within the limits of my conditions?

If you feel benevolent and particularly generous, this writer always appreciates things bought for him from his wishlist

Eurovision 2011: Live Blog

Georgia Meh. Make it stop. 

Serbia It's alright. I'm on the hard stuff now, whisky

Ukraine Again failed to pay attention to the song... sand artist epic.

Spain. 

Iceland YAY! Love the song, had it in my head all day. Touching, fun performance

Slovenia Entering "Can this go on any longer?" territory??? 

Azerbaijan Meh. 

Austria I liked a lot, but very mixed reactions on Twitter

Romania Great but not as good as in semi final

Germany My favourite song. But let down so badly in tonights performance... :( 

Moldova There are no words... 

UK Could've been a bit better

Switzerland I like that song. Summed up "Na na na na na na na na"

Italy Godawful, but it's nice to see them back... I think.. 

France Yawn. 

Russia Perfect singer for awful 1990s song with boring dance routine. 

Greece C....Rap 

Estonia Great performance, a magic trick and catchy song. :) 

Sweden I love Eric Saade. That is all... 

Ireland *KILL ME NOW*

Hungary Love the song... but performance was not that good today. :(

Lithuania Needs a much stronger singer, but she does sign language so... forgiven.,..

Denmark Cute singer, LOVE the song. Jedward wannabe though... 

Bosnia and Herzegovina Rubbish, nothing exciting or interesting about it. Bah!!!

Finland Love the song, love the singer, love the message. Never going to win though... 

Loved it... :) Best opening of Eurovision ever!

No Lena singing Satellite??? Presenters singing instead... erm... genius?

I wish they'd stop talking over the presenters!!!

Graham Norton... vast improvement over Scott Mills and Sara Cox.... 

START Less than 30 minutes to go... Liveblogging Eurovision like it's 2009 all over again. Oh yes!

If you feel benevolent and particularly generous, this writer always appreciates things bought for him from his wishlist

Fraudsters MUST DIE

I'm going to have to go into my bank tomorrow. It's not a situation I ever want to be put into, with the queues, and the people, and all of that "human interaction" that is necessarily involved. The reason? My bank account has been compromised and someone has been topping up their mobile phone in, of all places, Hatfield and thus my debit card has been cancelled.

I will, almost certainly, get that money back. But the scars that will be left on me by having to talk to people in a bank shall last a life time. I want it known now that if I ever track down those who caused this to happen, I shall deliver swift and decisive justice.

Inconvenience is a bit like a slow death for someone like me. I dislike it greatly. Grr... in other news... it's Eurovision week! Yay! Cue picture of floppy haired Swedish entry, Eric Saade

If you feel benevolent and particularly generous, this writer always appreciates things bought for him from his wishlist

How Have You Been?

Dearest Constant Reader, what would I do without you? On Twitter you're judged for tweeting too much, or tweeting too little, or you have even the most vague and innocuous remarks dissected and analysed until one feels quite tired. But not here. I can pretty much write and publish anything I want without controversy or comment (except insults about Simon Hughes or porn pictures of certain celebrities, as we've learnt in the past).

People are miserable old so-and-so's, aren't they? Ironic that I should say that given the reams of misery that fill this little blog of mine... enough tales of depression and low self-esteem to keep a counsellor busy for years. But I'm mellowing with age, my depression's seem few and far between and my low self-esteem is slowly disappearing as I stopped caring what other people think. As Jim often tells me, I'm "growing up".

What have I found since I was last on here...

the Pullman: a delightful little pub off Rendezvous Street. Can't believe I've never been there before but the staff are always very welcoming.
Googies: a bit offbeat, but a nice cafe with good food and the occasional nice thing to look at. The art's good too ;)
Gary and Glenda the Gulls are back... and have three eggs. Jim and I are going to be Uncle's again!
Food is good. Diets are BAD.
American football players may not be rough and tough like rugby players but they have their upsides:

I also stood for election. Cool, huh?

Jim has left for Las Vegas this weekend and my brother and sister are due to arrive any minute. A "fun" week ahead... oh what am I saying... it's EUROVISION week!!

If you feel benevolent and particularly generous, this writer always appreciates things bought for him from his wishlist