come back to what you know

May the Gods Bless You, Your Majesty

So yesterday at 15.15 her Majesty Queen Elizabeth, the Queen Mother passed away peacefully in sleep. It didn’t make me very upset exactly, but I did experience first shock, then a kind of respectful sorrow. Anyone who lives to that age deserves everybodies respect.

I won’t dwell on it. That would be disrespectful and macarbe.

Right busy day yesterday and this morning. I went over to Zoe’s house and after much jumping up and down in Blockbusters (I’m like a big kid in a candystore when I go there) we agreed (mainly to keep me happy) to get Dogma. Brilliant movie (I’ve seen it SSSSSSSOOOOO many times). Alanis as God? A masterstroke.

Blog of the day

This ones really highly recommended. I urge you give it a go!! Bboyblues.

Have a Nice Day

Gosh a lot of things have happened since my last post. I’ll try to keep it as clear and concise as possible.

Yesterday, all hell broke loose as toilets stopped working and I realised Mr. Lambert had been booking people in, despite the fact we were full. Oh how I love to deal with irate customers. After everyone was booked in I took over on the bar for the afternoon while everyone else went out on errands (Mr. Lambert went down to Harvey’s Bar, played a game of pool, and then pocketed a black ball as our new pool table is missing one.) The northerners who had booked in had been rather abusive towards me (a soft southerner) but once we got talking they were actually very nice. They had me sussed as being gay in seconds and were chuffed when I freely admitted it. It earnt me their respect for having the balls to say “Yes I’m gay”. After an argument with Roberto the chef (I was off duty so I was having a drink bought for me by the guests, what’s wrong with that I was off duty) I headed home by taxi (where I was informed that Faulty Towers was a death trap (how would he know we only just opened?! The truth is out!!).

Steve phoned to tell me he couldn’t come (he refuses to except any money from me as he is older, the fool!). I went down to Gees and tried to have fun. Sometimes I think me, Pete and Laura are the only ones who enjoy going out. The others barely make an effort to turn up. Matt (in very bright pink shirt[scary thing is he isn’t gay]), Chris, Zoe, Kim, Elliot and Claire made an appearance. So it got to 11 and every one started to disperse. Well that was until I found myself in Kim’s car with her, Elliot, Claire and Kim’s friend on the way to the cinema (we saw Crossroads which was okay even if it tried to be this years Coyote Ugly a bit too hard.) I got home around half past 1 in the morning.

I came into work this morning and was immediately enlisted into being breakfast waiter, washer up-er and general dogs body for a hectic hour of fun and hilarity. Or not.

Did any one see the UK's Worst a couple of nights ago on BBC1? The one about the disgusting restaurants? Well one of the restaurants was reusing leftovers from peoples plates and serving them again. Thats what Mr. Lambert was doing today. He would take uneaten things (say a sausage or a tomato for instance and reuse it!!) I nearly threw up.

And then I get to here where I’ve discovered someone has stolen my Guardian. The bastards!

One last thing: David I love you!

D-Day: The Good Friday Offensive

Its a particularly nice and sunny day today (despite the fog that covers everywhere else).

Today is the day. A large party arrives for a meal and to stay for 2 nights, its all hands to the pumps. Last minute checks are being carried out, the food is being brought everyone except me is losing their rag. Now I know my job is likely to be lost anyway why stress over arrangements. I’m going about things in a logical unhurried way things will get done. Just a little less quickly.

OK I’d like to wish everyone a peaceful Good Friday. I don’t celebrate the day (beyond scoffing Hot Cross Buns!) but I agree with its message of peace and hope completely specially when the Israelis and the Palestinians are having another dangerously childish quarrel (“Mum! Dad! Arafat is being nasty to me again!”)

OK I had a conversation with Jelena (she is back still no Singh though and where’s Chelsea?) about Thailand and she has made me want to go even more. Now before you tell me how passè Thailand is, how nasty and cheap and filled with tourists it is, I already know. But how can I become a snobby traveller who complains about everywhere, (“Afghanistan is so last year darling, the new hot destination is Somalia”) if I don’t go? How can I complain about how crowded Bangkok is, or how the whole country is one big human market if I have not seen it? It’s the place you must go if you are going to have any credibility as a hardcore traveller.

I went out last night after much angry swearing at any one who would listen about Pete and Chris. They (Pete blames Chris entirely) messed me around and so I didn’t get to Gees till after nine. Anyway the band was rubbish, the barman looked cute with a new pair of glasses (they are so sexy), and it was an OK night.

Stephen may be coming down today o tomorrow (I’m actually looking forward to it!)

Found this blog while trawling through Google yesterday: (the things I find) Idiote My blog of the day as it were.

11:47a.m. The End of the Affair

It is becoming increasingly obvious to me, Jacqui the bar manager and Roberto the chef that Faulty Towers is a sham. I don't quite understand it but it appears that Mr. Lambert and Josie will be following the last owners and running off to France (permanently) some time after the O'Sheas wedding on April the 20th.

They have betrayed us. Roberto left a highly paid job to come and work here. I have debts to repay. Jacqui has children. Bish is an asylum seeker he can't afford not to work. And what would I call my blog without the hotel?!

And to top it of a lady came in today for a decision on whether she can be....... receptionist. I await the result but my days are number.

Stephen phoned. Scary thing is I've been worried about him and why he wasn't answering his phone. He is okay though coming down soon, may meet my mates (yes Pete, Laura that means you!!)

I knew persistence would pay off........ a picture of Mark Towse on this website the very last picture (no he isn't the old guy!). This internet thing just gets better and better.

Deny EVERYTHING

Not thinking about him, not thinking about him, not thinking about him........

Today in Faulty Towers I had a talk with Mr. Lambert about his dyslexia. It really gave me an insight into how hard his life has been. He has extremely bad dyslexia which means he can barely recognise any words. I have to write everything doubly big for him. It's nice to get to know him better.

Ah its nearly Easter........ which means more work. The hotel is FULL as compared to empty (which is how it usually is). Work, work and more bliming work.

The new pool table for our new games room arrives today. This is going to involve a lot of carrying, pushing, shoving and getting stuck. Oh the JOY.

The Mark Towse Saga Part IV: The Never Ending Crush

OK I'm in trouble I've just been searching for Mark Towse on Google. Please don't let it be a return to the crush I had on him for so many years!!!!!!. He does have a few entries on the Harvey Grammar site though.......

Murder on the Dancefloor

I have just been out with Pete, Laura and Sophie the Hardc0re 3 and a guest return to spite Sam's indignant comments!! I meet Pete near Matt's house to find he had already drunk half a litre of vodka. We then went to the Leas meet the girls and had afew drinks (am I only the only man gay or straight who still drinks pints of lager?).

We headed for the club in reluctantly high sprits. After purchasing a pint of Heineken for £6.50(!) we hung around occassionally doing the straight mans shuffle. I decided I hated Folkestone clubs (as compared to Brighton clubs that is). That was until I saw Mark Towse. I went weak at the knees among other things and decided this place wasn't too bad. After spyibg a couple of really hot guys place a genurous sprinkling of gay guys I settled down for a okay night.

Pete on the other hand went from bad to worse until his eyes became unfocussed, his speech slurred and his dancing dangerous to passers by.

As I got into my taxi at the end of the night I realised that the driver was Colin our soon to be Gym manager!! Of all the places to meet him!!

What's Going On?

OK I knew it would be bad when some one came in for an interview for the "receptionist position" while I'm on my own. Then the beer seller arrived and promptly flooded the cellar with Boddington's (its an inch deep!!). Then room 16's toilet fell to pieces. To top it off the interviewee who was waiting for the Lamberts to get back, pulled the handle off the Games room toilet. And I am all on my own.

JKay8839@AOL.com

Here is what Sam says (on me may I add) about Kim. "People must drop the 'i'm not liking her till she likes me attitude'" (March 27th Sam's Blog Thingy). May I ask why? If she doesn't like me (as she doesn't) why should I make the effort to like her?

Secondly he says the Hardc0re 3 is not hardcore enough for him. Well Sam if you read my blog late last week you'd notice I said we would not be hardcoring it while everyone is home. And I didn't come out last night as it didn't sound like fun doing half an hour walk to and from Gees just for one and half hours of "fun". Oh and Holby City was on and I'm hopelessly in love with the gay guy. So there!!

On a lighter note I got an email from Russell!! Haven't heard from him in 4 years I found him on Friends Reunited under Sellindge County Primary school. Its great!!

Hunky Australians in Topless SHOCKER

Despite the cloud outside, I think this is one of the best days so far this year. It just feels nice if you know what I mean.

I was going to start with a damning criticism of Fox and Friends on Fox News. Also I was going to tell you how I’ve lost all faith in Rosie O’Donnell since she came out (no, not because of it though!! [I’m gay after all]). But who really cares about those things!!!

What I’m actually going to do is tell you about this site that I found on another blog its all about Topless Australian Footballers something that I’m sure is close to the heart of all straight women and gay men. Go see it; there sure is a lot of pictures!!

In Faulty Towers today: we have a new credit card machine. I am sure that in coming days this will be an endless source of amusement!! I can just imagine Mr. Lambert and Josie using it. “Thank you for using Streamline. The account has been debited 10000000 pounds.”

I am determined to learn French (if anyone can help email me!!). The shooting that occured in Paris early this morning happened closer to me than Cambridge Uni, the Eden project, and Scotland among other things. I can get to Paris in the same time it takes me to get to Brighton by car. (If I take the train to Brighton I could probably be in Berlin in the same length of time!!). I want to have the freedom to pop over to France whenever I want without worrying about the language barrier.

I have become filled with an immense wanderlust. I need to travel. I’ve been reading of the adventures of such people as the Pitcairn Islanders and I’ve read The
Beach for about the ninth time. I’m bored of Europe. I mean its nice and all that. But its home. I understand how Europeans work. I’ve been to France (a kind proud people), Italy (ker-azy [resurrected old word of mine]), Spain, Belgium, Germany and Switzerland. I want to go somewhere exotic, that’s adventurous. Somewhere I won’t meet (no offence to the Japanese or Americans here I just happen meet the crazies of every race) American tourists or loony Japanese families hopelessly lost in the middle of Rome or some other city.

I want to taste new foods, meet new people, and visit places that I can’t even pronounce (like Worchester ;0) ). I want to walk along a tropical beach at sunset or ramble through a ruined temple at sunrise. So I make an amendment to New Years Resolution 2 (To do utterly random things [like escape to Europe or change my job on a whim])

New Years Resolution 2a: I shall travel to somewhere I have never been before that is not in Europe, that is not the United States of America and that is not boring. India? Taiwan? Liberia? Uruguay? Tuvalu? I may run a poll: Where should Jason go this year? Vote now!!

Mr. Lambert’s latest idea is to set up Polly’s Introduction Agency to deal with the phone calls I’ve been getting!! I think he is taking the Faulty Towers thing a little too far!! My remit as Hotel manager now covers a hotel, gym and now an introduction agency how did I get this job? I really don’t remember. I'm only eighteen for grud's sake (I bought 2000AD yesterday so I may start saying some weird words again!!)

Just Like Heaven - My blog of the day

Went out with Sam, Pete, Claire, Chris, Elliot and Kim to Wetherspoons. Not to bad a night really. Oh and I saw Matt's newish hipy look (new as in more pronounced). Pony tail, Peace jacket, bright shirts. How does he get away with it?

JKay8839@AOL.com

In Faulty Towers today. We got a shipment of 8000 fliers, which look pretty respectable. But as always there is a problem. I pointed out to Mr. Lambert and Josie that the phone number was wrong. So we have 8000 extremely useless, but well designed fliers. If this place wasn’t called Faulty Towers already.......

In other news I am continuously getting phone calls here asking whether we are the introduction agency mentioned in our advert in the Yellow pages. I looked at it. It would seem one of the last acts of the Euro Millennium Hotel was to classify the hotel in the introduction agencies section!! Maybe I should say yes and organise something!! This may be the reason a lot of the old Euro emails are involve Americans looking for love. This hotel is one disaster after another!!

Right my Living End story. It’s interesting only in its affect on me (if its interesting at all). Before I saw the Living End (LE), I believed that the world was governed by certain unbreakable rules. You must obey your parents, you should never break a law, and, most certainly, sexuality (in all its forms) was something to be ashamed of.

Basically this film was originally to be called Fuck the World, which literally sums up its story (its not high on script its more about style). Any way its blatant disregard for the above rules made me realise that there was so much more to life than being good, following the rules and being “normal”. (Slap me if I use the word anyway ever again). And I finally saw that being gay didn’t mean you had to limit what you say or do so as not offend anybody with repressive views. If I hadn’t seen this film I would never have gone to Europe, never of had any “fun”, never changed my job twice in one week (apple farm worker, member of the NAAFI and a hotel receptionist!!) and I would not even contemplate writing my diary online!! That is why me finally getting it is such a big deal to me. It is as influential on me as the Bible is for Evangelical Creationists.

Now on to Sophie. Her revelation that she understood Wicca not only threw me it pleased me a little. Usually when I meet people like that they assume I’m new to it (and not a Wiccan of two years like I am, I just took a break!!) she didn’t so I thank you Sophie for not being condescending like so many other “Wiccans” (I say they are just in it for fashion) have been.

JKay8839@AOL.com

Merry Meet

Yesterday I had a day off to sort my finances out. To do this I had to go to....... Ashford. I know only one good thing to come out of the Ashford area and that’s Lauren (although even she doesn’t live there!!). Its scary there so many pikies and rudies. Any way I sorted my account out, bought Stephen King’s “Everything’s Eventual” and then went home and did some internet shopping for some new shirts for work. Then D-day arrived. The group is back from their various unis.

We congregated in the Leas Club, me, Laura, Pete, Chris, Zoe, Elliot (isn’t this just our usual group!!) plus Sean, Adam and Sophie. It wasn’t exactly a fun night. Firstly I had a very depressed Adam and I had no idea how to help him. I mean I am not the best person to give advice. (“Why don’t you run away to Europe and feel depressed by the Med or in the piazze of Florence?). Then I had to contend with the fact that I couldn’t mention Kim or Ed (sore spots among many), the Hardc0re 3 couldn’t interact, and Elliot was in one of his I’m not homophobic but... moods. And as I was paid by cheque I had no money to spend.

Anyway I’m back in Faulty Towers with the comforts of walkie talkies that pick up Taxi radio’s, Bish the Albanian cleaner who I really try to understand but fail to, with the crazy owners who believe that allowing a docusoap crew into the hotel is a sensible idea and lets not forget the permanent resident’s Mr. Singh and his dog Chealsea. (whom I teaching the internet to [Mr. Singh not the dog]) Jelena the Russian who still hasn’t recovered from Will turning out gay, and Dr. Gaur the doctor turned Bollywood star. Don't forget Francesca the most annoying child in the world who resides in my reception. Oh at least I expect the unexpected here.

OK this blog is really long and I’ll tell you the story about the Living End (by Gregg Araki)
tomorrow.
Plus Sophies interest in Wicca!!

*UPDATE* Mr. Singh, Jelena, and Dr. Gaur have moved out today. I'll miss them. Now its just me and Bish upstairs. Where's the fun in that?! I'm going to miss making a fuss of Chelsea and how's Mr. Singh going to finish his lessons?

Merry Part.

JKay8839@AOL.com

Merry Meet

The God's must be having a right laugh (and I expect you are too Constant Reader). Not only do they create me 6'8", gay and a Wiccan. They then cause my life to be one long, badly written American sitcom. Yesterday after being abused by Mrs soon-to-be O'Shea, I was paid by cheque (oh how I laughed!!), then some how I managed to drop my work shirt on the way home. I noticed it was gone about 200 metres after I'd dropped it just in time to see some thieving arabs (no not as in middle eastern its a British phrase a-RABs) running off with it. I did my best impression of Basil by jumping up and down waving my arms while growling incomprehensibly.

Rather fowlornly I walked home checking my bank account on the way, at which point I began laughing hysterically scaring a young family and a old lady.

Anyway spent a Friday night in (still only my 9th in ten months!!).

Its Stephens 20th birthday today. Have done my duty by calling him. He says I'm the only person he can rely on. How can I break up with him when he says things like that?

Ordered the Living End from Blackstar.co.uk more of which tommorrow. Am having the day off "sick" as I'm tired of working all weekend.

Merry Part

JKay8839@AOL.com

Merry Meet

I have upgraded my blog to Blogger Pro (now that others are getting blogs I need to make mine more appealing). Expect pictures and annoying midi tunes soon!!

Any way it’s Steven’s birthday tomorrow. He will be twenty years old. He’s only a year and a bit older than me but the way he treats me you’d think I was some naive chicken just out of diapers. (ah!! I’m being Americanised, it’s nappies not diapers!). That’s one of the many reasons I fell out of love with him. I am extremely scared about the need to be intimate (not sex!! Just kissing!!) with him. I don’t think I can (nor should be) false with him.

There has been a lot of clamour of the coming global warming/ice age in the press of late after the Larsen B ice shelf incident. Now I’m Wiccan and certainly advocate recycling and pollution control but we must understand that the Earth is at the moment cooler than it has ever been outside an ice age!! Evidence is starting to suggest that the environmental changes are in fact completely natural!! Environmentalists need to stop with the scare tactics and focus on educating people to respect Gaia and to stop using cars for pointless journeys. Plus educate Mr. (he is not worthy of the title of President any more) Bush to start respecting his God.

As you may realise since I’ve upgraded my account to Pro I have a credit card!!! The gang are all back tomorrow so last night at Gees Band Night was the last outing for the Hardc0re 3 for a while. :0( Time for me to prepare for an increase in bitchiness, unhappiness and gossiping. I hate it when it all kicks off. Why can’t people just get on?

The hotel is very busy today (no we don’t have guests!!) I’m sorting out the final web site, some loyalty cards, menus, stationary, etc. Theres a party coming in for lunch and dinner (why?! Its 15 bps a head per sitting!!). And none of us are yet paided!!

Women can be way too emotional sometimes. I'm currently arranging a wedding reception here on the 20th of April. Fine I thought just get the O'Sheas (the orgainisers) to send me a complete list of the rooms they need. Ha!! They haven't so I started getting calls for individual bookings from their friends and family. I told them I couldn't guarantee their room as I was waiting for the O'Sheas list.

So long story short I got a sobbing phone call from the bride-to-be shouting abuse at me telling me she was paying good money for this and the rooms should be guaranteed. I told her plainly that if her and her betrothed were too lazy to get me the details (I've asked them 3 times) then the rooms weren't to be guarenteed. She apologised saying she didn't realise. And promised to get the details to me soon. If she hadn't been so rude by not getting me the details this would not of happened. Lazy people. It really upset me,I don't like being verballly abused. It's just not how British people should behave.


Merry Part

JKay8839@AOL.com

Spring Equinox

Merry Meet.

I am far less happy than I was yesterday. There I was thinking I had made a break through and then the truce between me and my family was called off. I am not depressed just feeling extremely..... rebellious.

Mr. (bloody) Lambert has run away to France without paying me. This is bloody typical. I am not a happy bunny. In other news I'm thinking of moving out of my house into a flat. Most landlord charge rent is £55 a week and I can afford that. It would give me and my family some space and I'd be free to pursue my life in a way that suits me.

We've had Faulty Towers Hotel and Sybil's bar. What could be next? Well I can now announce that Manuel's Gym has just been opened!! Is this life mirroring blog or blog mirroring life?

Has anyone out there seen Will Youngs "Anything is Possible" video? The one where he is wearing a white shirt (top AND bottom button open) with those large cuffs? Brian wore it at the end of Big Brother 2 (Big Bro 3 soon!!!!). Well I spotted two (yes TWO) gay men sporting said shirt plus accompanying Will hairstyles and smiles yesterday. Firstly since when did Folkestone have gay men who were fashion conscious? Secondly, Does this mean that I am required to wear said attire?

OK thanks to Pete's and Google.com's combined effort my page has now had over 200 hits. Let me give you some facts. Pete has visited this site more times than me (29% OF THE HITS ARE DOWN TO HIM). Only 65% of hits are from the UK (it was 99% last month) and over 16% (the next highest percentage) come from Central Russia, and Southern Asia!!

The Portland reopens in a couple of months.

Sam has a blog, the link for which is below. Well done Sam!! Visit him and say hi.

Well done Peter on getting a job!! 25% off at W H Smiths? I will be going shopping with you in future!!


Merry Part

JKay8839@AOL.com

OK so I've failed to stop drinking. I had a whole pint last night (under extreme duress I might add!!). Oh well Wicca doesn;t ban such things it was just an idea I had.

Anyway back to more important things, my mental state. I'm far happier than usual (its spring tommorrow!!) and it is the vernal equinox today. But I'm increasingly living in the past. Recently I've started to get in contact with old friends....Russell and Colin to name but two. I've dusted off my old Book of Shadows and my pictures. I think I'm becoming a late '90s retro freak. Help save me.
Its the noughties now after all.

Think: Tweenies, text messages, 11/9, President Bush, Pop Idol.

Don't Think : Teletubbies, pay as you go, Kosovo, Clinton, Stars in their Eyes

I have a day off and chaos breaks loose at the hotel. We have had SIX (SIX!!!!!) escapees. Thats a lot of money. No Mr. Lambert did not take they money upon check in (as I require) nor any details. Now he has run off to France for a few days I can get things back to normal: the new sign has finally arrived today.

OK I am not easily shocked. But Bish has just managed it. He is cleaning out Room 4 (escapees). What does he find? Cocaine!!! Lots of....COCAINE!! OH MY GOD!! I have only seen it once before (in a toilet at Calais Port). AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!

Firstly hello Tony. What are you doing looking at my blog? Please respect my privacy from now on. I do know exactly when you log on to this blog, from where, what pages you look at, for how long and even where you go when you finish. To prove my point you loged on at 2.30 and 5.03 yesterday afternoon seeing a total of eight pages.

Secondly I seem to be becoming afternoon barman at Sybil's. I even have a regular set of blokes who come in while I'm on duty and bore me to death with they "amazing" stories of life in prison, the women they have had sex with and the time they unknowingly slept with underaged girls (but didn't stop when they found out). Its sick. Its so right wing. I refuse to put up with it any more. So I'm going to launch my crusade against right wing straights. I hate them and shall not suffer them any more. Sun "readers", if thats what some describe them as, are my first target for some heterophobic persecution. Arsenic in the drinks? Antrhax in the peanuts? If only I wasn't a Wiccan!! (sorry about the rant but I'm in a ranting mood what right do these people have to make me feel unhappy?)

As part of my return to Wicca I give up alcohol, and caffeine. People may scoff but I have done it before and doubters shall see I am brutely serious about this. I already feel much better, just as I used to, happier and far more fun!! Its my day off so I'm going in for some fairly intense lying down and doing nothing.

(a bit later) OK I am far more peaceful now. I don't hold any hate for heterosexuals or anyone really. In fact I'm going to be as nice as possible to all those I used to hate. A lack of understanding on my part of their point of view is no excuse to become a mini gay Hitler now is it? I've got to get back to being my previous nice, calm, happy Wiccan self I used to be back in the day.

JKay8839@AOL.com

On Saturday I went down Pete’s for a house “party” (tho it wasn’t the kind of house party I’m used to!! No drugs, little sex). But it was, and I must stress this, OK. If Pete had warned me of certain things, you know what they are, then I would have stayed home, watched TV and woken up refreshed for work the next morning. But he didn’t and I almost enjoyed myself. The 2nd Poll below is more to make a point than anything else.

Anyway was very tired all day at work, did some bar work, turned a few very smelly tramps out of reception (no not Chris, Pete, Laura and Zoe all tho they did visit.)

I have decided to return to my old religion. It has taken me a while to reach this decision. That religion is of course Wicca and I add a link in tribute to this occasion. Its not really that momentus occasion as nothing really changes.

OK people I have had some awful realisations!! I have not had sex in 2 months!! I never realised that making a choice not to seek out gay friends and allow relationships to develop naturally would have such a dramatic affect (choice made just before I headed for uni)!! I have not gone without sex for so long since I first had sex!! I may have to go off to Canterbury or down to Brighton just to get things back to normal!!

Hello Jay We have stolen your Blogg Pete does'nt smell infact he is pretty damn cool. isnt that right laura??
yes
there we go posting now hhahahhahahahah :o)
pete
er, jay :P

In breaking news I've added a link for........ Gees Bar's website!! Oh yes I found it and its at the bottom of the page. Go see and enjoy!!

I've just had three twenty year old blokes in their underwear watching football in my reception. I LOVE this job!!

Ok the poll has changed. The results of the last one were 60% were in favour of increased rights for the sexual minorities (hurrah!!), 40% were against (the rotters). The new poll is to see who really is the greatest pop idol. I suggest you vote Korben (a former Mr. Gay UK finalist who came 10th in the pop idol contest).

I saw one hell of a good show last night: "Dead Ringers", it was on BBC1. It is the greatest sketch show since the League of Gentlemen. Imagine Tom Bakers Dr. Who shopping for a new TARDIS in the wardrobe section of DFS. Or Tony Blair sharing a night of passion with George from Rainbow during the filming of Zippy’s Faking It (he was trying to be Cherie Blair). GENIUS!! I knew it was sheer greatness when Dr. Who launched an attack on a Cyberman using a pillow stolen from the beds department. Can it get any better?

My family are determined we have a mice infestation. I’ve tried to tell them that the mouse I found was a field mouse. They will not listen. Now tell me what kind of mouse would move into a house with three (sometimes four) cats!?

Oh no!! Francesca has returned to annoy me (see entry two weeks ago). My new nickname seems to be JIP (and no I'm not going to tell you what that means!!). Help!! Plus the twenty years olds watching football. Is this hell?

Nearly 100 visitors in just 9 days!!! Joy!!

Pete smells!!

JKay8839@AOL.com

Another thing I found while I was going through my Europe stuff was a letter from AJ I got the day I came home. Basically it says he isn’t going to berate me as it might upset me more and that (and I quote) : I could probably forgive you for what you have done but I could never forget. AJ, just another casualty of my run away attempt. I publicly apologise to him here.

I had to suffer the most annoying taxi driver ever yesterday in almost one breath he managed to insult tall people and gay people. Why are people so homophobic?

I went out last night with Laura. It was fun even if attendance is really beginning to fall!! Pete has gone to visit Sam in Lincoln. Anyhow Laura and I went to Gees to see some band and to see the barman. For those in distant parts the comfy chairs are GONE!! Its just a wooden floor now for the band and Ray.

Sam and Pete managed to annoy me by suggesting things about Laura and I. Well I would like to suggest certain goings on between Sam and Pete. Who is paying for Pete’ travels to Lincoln? Sam!! Gosh could it be another couple?!

Got home around eleven to discover Tony being a drama queen as we had mouse in the house (Scooby D brought it in). He left it to me to wait for the cats to kill it and take it out (it was injured so I thought a quick end would be best). Scooby was dead proud of himself, his first kill!! I have a feeling I’ll be seeing more of his presents over the coming weeks.

Woke up this morning to discover my room busy with activity, there was my mum listening to Marilyn Manson and proclaiming her love for him, my sister dressed as a princess and my brother , dressed as a karate master brutely abusing Honey bear. I have to tell you Honey now has a ripped armpit. :o(

Having a nice time at work, the day isn’t that nice but its cool and its a Friday!!

JKay8839@AOL.com

I went through my travel bag last night. After I came back from Europe I simply took out the clothes and put it under my bed. It was quick wierd looking through it. There was my ticket to the Collesseum, my train tickets, my books from the museums in London, some travel guides to Austria bought in Rome with money from selling my other books, there was even porn from France and some Wethers Originals bought in Valence unopened (well not anymore!!). Its scary to think that just 2 months ago I was gallavanting around Europe! Now I feel like doing something fun again (although this time legitimately).

I did a silly thing today. I found myself liking President Bush. He has declared himself against the result of the Zimbabwe elections. You go girl!!

In other news will be adding links each day plus will issue a poll on "The Portal" soon for consultation with my mates. Todays links : Dawsons Creek site for Charlie fans (although I note a severe lack of Charlie on the site) and Charter 88's site for greater democracy. Viva the revolution!! If you have any great links send 'em here and I'll put them on (after review of course).

Just got Zoe and Annie's "goodlooking blokes" list. I'm second!! Joy!!

Thank you Laura for your concern about me but I'm fine now just got a little down as it was Melly's anniversary. Hoped to be paid today!! So anyone up for a drinking session at Gees?

JKay8839@AOL.com

I have finally found the most gorgeous man in the whole world. The bloke who plays Charlie in the new season of Dawson's Creek. Yu,.

Nothing else of interest to say today except my plans for continued expansion of this blog are going well. And my latest creation "The Portal" is being sorted, more of which tomorrow.

Check out my new poll below.

jasonkay@bushinternet.com

My message board isn't working. I don't know why but if it isn't working by this evening I'll have a look at the html code.

Last night was odd. I was working late and Mr. Singh came down to see me. After complaining that the chandelier didn't have enough light bulbs he asked me to go to his room. I was more than worried. I went with him but found he only wanted someone to talk to. He is lonely away from his wife, family and country. To top it off Mr. Lambert has it in for him. He has gone from company director to nothing in less than a week. His room is small and unclean. No wonder Bish has befriended him. But Bish is soon to go as well, branded a traitor by Mr' Lambert.

Its my day off!!! Oh I'm being so lazy today. To top it off my mobile is out of power (my chargers at work) so I can't be bothered by anybody. Except Josie of course who worred that someone had stoled her phone. No Josie I have commandeered it as my new modem line. I can be very practical when I want to be!

As people may have noticed I'm continuing my improvements to the site. If you have any suggestions don't hesitate to put them on the message board below when its working.

jasonkay@bushinternet.com

All I will say here about the anniversary of September the 11th is that my thoughts are with those innocents who have suffered due to the events and also American retaliation. If I try to say more I will just go into a rant which is not appropriate today.

Anyways, went out to the Leas club with Ed, Pete and Laura on Saturday. I was still upset about Melly and shouldn't of gone out. A phone call from Steve cheered me up. He has a way of doing that. I mean I don't love him now but it wasn't that long ago that I loved him more than can be described. But I've changed and he has changed and its only he who cannot see it is time for us to move on and grow as individuals.

Nan, Joy, Little Tony and David came round. It was nice to see them as I haven't seen them since I ran away to Europe.

Mr. Lambert, in all his wisdom, has arranged for a documentary crew to film a docusoap in our hotel!! It really will be the most boring in history. It would go something like this.
"Here is Jason, head receptionist watching TV, and here is Bish the cleaner, uh, cleaning." - Narrator

Congrats to Pop Idol Will Young on finally come out in public although it was something I've known for quite a long time (thanks Lauren for the inside info!). Anyhow well done even if it is a bit overdue!! Just for you Will I've added a link.

jasonkay@bushinternet.com

Well so its one year since Melly died. Seems so much longer. I miss her. Her jokes, her laughter, her sheer unadulterated loveliness.
God bless you Melly-Mels.

I went out bowling last night and came second. Zoe won. Chris, Pete and Zoe's friend Annie were also there. After a fun game of bowling we went to Pizza Hut where we argued over what we were going to have for what seemed like ages, Chris made fun of the camp waiter (who had really nice eyes) and me Pete tried to cause a scene by arguing loudly.

Pete did cause a scene, he claimed a whole load of ballons as his own. Which we had to fight to fit them into the boot. We failed and so ballons streamed out of the back as we drove. We dropped off Annie and joined Laura, her friend Zoe V, Elliot and Kim at Gees.Pete then gained infamy by giving his ballons as a gift to Vicky and Sally the bar maids.

I have decided that by Easter I shall pull a rude boy. Its part of a bet of sorts that Laura and Pete set me. I shall succeed (should that be suckceed? ;) ) I am determined to. I have also decided I will go see the next series of Graham Norton and I will tell one of my many disgusting stories. Some people have ambitions to save the world. I don't.

The 9th of March is the first anniversary of Melly's death. She died because of an infection that she couldn't fight because of her treatment for leukaemia. I dedicate this blog to her memory from this day forward. I just want to say that I miss you Melly and I will never forget you. I hope they have pigeons in heaven. ;)

I have been listening to Lyte Funkie Ones "Summer Girls" today. It was quite upsetting as it reminds me off the summer of 2000 when my life was as easy as could be. For one thing Melly was still alive (although she did have leukaemia by then). And I had secrets. Oh how I miss having secrets. Being in the closet was fun!!! I didn't have to worry about being judged by my sexuality and could live a double life (Stephen, casual sex, secret crushes on people like Mark Towse).

I mean having secrets was FUN!! No two ways about it. Now I'm like a bliming open book. There is no fun in being open and honest. Its so frightfully uninteresting.

Any how went out with Pete, Laura and Chris last night and we went to band night at Gees to see Fallout. We made up lists of most attractive boy/girl in the group (no that's not a category just for Matthew you cruel people!!!). I came fourth on both Laura's and Pete's lists (not anything to be frowned at).

A couple checked into today and I placed them in a room we just turned on (hotel speak) number 4. Josie and Peter have only just vacated the room and Josie still had a key. She didn't know the couple were in there and upon hearing strange noises she investigated.

After all this was a ground floor room it could have be thieves!! Anyway it wasn't. They were having sex in there and Josie just walked in!!! This really is Faulty Towers!!

jasonkay@bushinternet.com

I was supposed to go out with Laura yesterday to Spoons. I didn't as I was feeling awful, as only I can. I don't know why I was depressed yesterday but I'm all better now. Sorry for not coming out last night Laura.

Oh no!! I think I've got a crush on a Straight lad again. This is never good so I'm going to do the only thing I know to stop these feelings..... avoid him!!!!!! We do not want another incident do we?!

Any way I'll be putting my links up on this blog soon. For now you'll have to make do with my new Artemis banner and.... drum roll please....... my new message board. Just go to the bottom of the page!!!!! Use it don't abuse it!!!!

jasonkay@bushinternet.com

Yesterday I had to come in to work (despite it being my day off and I wasn't feeling too good) to "fix" the computer. As you can imagine I was not too happy when it turned out that the problem was.........they hadn't turned on the screen. Anyway it did give me an excuse to go out for lunch with Laura.

It would seem Elliot saw me in town as when I got home I found him perusing my CD collection. Nice of him to come round and see me. He stayed a while which meant Beth and George could annoy him instead of me!! Thank you for the break Elliot.

jasonkay@bushinternet.com

Dear Blog,
The soldiers Nathan and Ryan have extended their stay (plus given me a £5 tip which I bought axm with!) so more eye candy for me today!!!!
Have bought three walkie talkies for hotel for hotel so currently its all "Big Ten Four" and "over and out" constantly. The jokes are wearing thin with even Nathan joining in (where has he got one from?!). Have been promoted to Hotel Manager which means I have charge of eveything except the health and beauty facilities and the bar!!! My new manager is a man named Steve with Mr. Lambert as Overseer.
Am Mr. Singh from room 35 confidante. He tells me alll his stories. In Hindi. Which is useful..........
Went out again last night to Leas Club and Gees with Laura, Peter, Ed, Elliot and John.

Dear Blog,
Went out last night to the Leas club with Laura, Pete, Chris and John (a suprise albeit a pleasant one). But an even more pleasant suprise awaited me!!!!
Nathan and Ryan, the two soldiers who checked in on Friday, arrived!!! So I spent most of the evening staring obviously at Nathan. Then he bought me a drink. God that was just too great (in a teeny high school girl crush kinda way.....).
They may be extending their stay but they are definetly here until 3.
Star Wars AOTC in 72 days.
jasonkay@bushinternet.com

Dear Blog,
Time for another update. Firstly last night went to a quiz at the Girls School with Sean, Zoe, Peter, Chris and Elliot. Needless to say we didn't win, me and Pete promptly retired to Gees where we failed to reinact the spirit of the hard core three without Laura. But we got very drunk in the process.
At work this morning I found that one of the doors windows had been smashed. I found out Room 21 did it attmpting to get. Then I discovered that the toilet had overflowed in room 12 causing a flood in the office.
While I was casually mind my own business in reception I caught some movement out of the corner of my eye. Upon turning to look I saw the cute muscular soldier walking towards me with only his boxers on. Barely able to talk I asked him what he wanted and he asked me to get him some breakfast. Breaking policy I rushed around like mad to meet his request. I am just way too shallow. There is no way an old granny would get that treatment from me!!!
Anyway after the eyecandy treat I tried to relax (hard when Jackies 9 year old daughter was annoying me).
That was when Sarahs (see previous entries) confused mum (she is still recovering from a mugging) walked in claiming Sarah wanted to see her here. An hour later I finally got Sarah to come pick her up.
jasonkay@bushinternet.com

Dear Blog,
Mr. Lambert and Josie are back from France and promptly upgraded a gay couples stay to the honey moon suite. Lucky bastards!!!!!
Have discovered that www.faultytowers.com is a porn site!!!!!! Our site will be www.faultytowershotel.com. Hope no old grannies get it wrong!!!
Two cute soldiers checked in for two days. Yum!!!! One, Nathan, Is tall, dark and muscular.....gorgeous.
Went out last night with Pete, Claire and Chris to Gees to see a band (King Skin) but spent most of the time avoiding the barman who was being very nice to me despite my obvious embarrassment
jasonkay@bushinternet.com