Angry Commute

1) Dear Man on Platform 2 London Bridge at 17:50 today. When you decided to walk backwards into me as I stood awaiting my train, I wonder what exactly went through your mind to do it again. And again. Were you perhaps hoping I might pull your head off, boiler it clean and use the skull as a new fashionable Oyster card holder?

2) Dear Lady on Platform 2 London Bridge at 17:54 today. Some of us have the uncanny ability to know where the doors of a train are going to open. Others are too stupid to understand they open at the same place every day and instead position themselves randomly along the platform. I am the former, you are the latter. What this means is I am at the front of the queue to get on (once everyone is off of course), so what was going through your mind when you attempted to squeeze yourself (forcefully and hurriedly) into the one foot of space between me and the door thus getting in the way of those getting off and in the way of someone who has legs that are bigger than you?? Were you hoping to form a new type of graffiti made from your remains after I'd squashed you up into a pulp?

3) Dear Man on the 17:54 Greenwich bound train. You had been seated throughout the journey, whilst I had been standing. I was quite clearly standing waiting to get off. So what ever possessed you to think that when the doors opened you'd rush to push me out of the way so you could gain an extra 2 seconds lead? Did you think you'd be successful in moving me, Jae Kay The Man Mountain? Of course you failed. I trust this will serve as a lesson to you that the overwealming combination of etiquette and hugeness makes me a formidable commuting opponent whom you shall inevitably lose to should you seek to break the unwritten rules of travel.

If you feel benevolent and particularly generous, this writer always appreciates things bought for him from his wishlist

Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire

Christmas has well and truly begun!! Saturday I went on a brief but interesting sortie into Folkestone via the High Speed link.

Now, overall, the outward journey was only a few minutes shorter than going via the main line as I had to take a half hour journey on the DLR to Stratford Regional and allowed myself some extra time because I didn't know what to expect. It was actually really rather easy, getting off the DLR and then heading through the well signposted subway to Platform 11. Walk to the end of that and you find a bus (where tickets can be purchased for the Southeastern High Speed services). This whisks you to Stratford International (there's no pedestrian access at the moment!). There was only two of us on the bus which was also a bonus!

Stratford International puts me in mind of some of the newer TGV stations like Valence. It's big, modern and lacking charm. Not in an awful way, it is just a means to an end after all.

The train arrived, looking all sparkly and new and FAST, and upon boarding I found there was plenty of space and leg room (something I was NOT expecting). The journey was smooth, fast and the conductor was nice.

Kent was covered in snow! After moaning for so long about having no snow I was very happy to see it, even if it was at a high speed blur!

Arriving in Folkestone felt like coming home. Nothing better and I grabbed a taxi outside Folkestone Central and headed to the East Cliff Pavilion for Three Valley Waters Christmas do. Saw loads of old faces, felt more comfortable than last time and Stacey Lady was there which is, as ever, the best thing about TVW dos. Mere hours later I got a taxi back to Folkestone Central and headed back to Greenwich. Now without my added extra time for safety's sack the journey is a good 20-30 minutes shorter on the way back than it would be on the main line. Getting home I settled in at the pub for a cheeky midnight pint with Jim before sleep.

Sunday. Jim went to see his children which left me at a loss as to what to do. Hmm... Christmas. Jae is alone. Time for... Christmas movie day! I watched A Nightmare Before Christmas, Home Alone 2, Gremlins and Miracle on 34th Street. All very Christmassy and it was a very nice lazy day.

Monday... work. Yuck! But things brightened up at 4.40pm when there was an unexpected snow shower. Not just a little one either. By 5pm it was time to go home and I got to trudge (I repeat... TRUDGE, don't you love that word Dear Constant Reader?) through the snow to the tube station. All was going swimmingly until I arrived at Cannon Street. The station was closed and a huge crowd was gathered outside being marshalled around from the road by police. I made an executive decision and returned to the tube and made my way to the DLR at Bank. Here was crowded too (as not everyone is London is a total idiot) but there were two Lewisham trains due, a minute apart. I knew what that meant.

I settled down and watched the ensuring fights and squeezing that occurred when the first train arrived. Then once it had been departed I strolled up to the platform edge (behind the yellow line of course) and lo and behold the second train arrived and I sauntered on in comfort and calm, confident that the train in front would keep on clearing the platforms at every station ahead allowing me a no hassle journey home. Bliss.

Got off the train and headed straight for the local for twas the night of Christmas caroling! Whilst the Christmas Carolers when off around the Triangle (as we call the area here in Greenwich) demanding money with menances and threats of singing, the remaining men of the pub gathered around an open fire, roasting chestnuts and doing those oh so stereotypical "men around a fire" things. the Carolers returned and more songs were sung (not by me for both ideological and concerns for other people's ears reasons) before we had a dinner of jacket potato, beans and sausages from the BBQ round the back. Snow made the scenes even more Christmassy. There was a quiz but as Jim had written it, we didn't take part and then most of the Carolers left... except one. Oh, she was a little worse for wear and after telling Denis how hot and sexy he was she then decided Jim and I didn't look gay, began matching up other men in the pub who weren't gay and then went back to telling Denis how hot and sexy he was. Repeat for two hours. Hilarious!

A very good night indeed ended with a brief early morning snowball fight. Perfect.

This blogger works for nothing but the joy of writing but always appreciates things bought from his wishlist

New Greenwich Train Times!

Southeastern Highspeed | Ramsgate
Originally uploaded by kpmarek

So today was the first day of Southeastern's radical new timetable. I had two very different experiences.

On the way to Cannon Street things were not going smoothly. Firstly it was pretty clear that everyone from the old 07:03 Charing Cross train and everyone from the old 07:13 Cannon Street train had decided to get the new 07:03 Cannon Street train together. Add on top of this that the train arrived 5 minutes later and you have one very uncomfortable journey in. :( Hoping that with train being on time and the "Oh my, there's a new timetable today?" crowd gone things might be a little better tomorrow.

The trip home... was absolute bliss. Cannon Street trains home were not only on time... but absoltely empty and not only did all the normal sized people get a seat but giant folk like me got one too on the 18:00!! Lovely.

Let's see if the kinks on the morning journey get ironed out, else it might be an even early morning for me from now on...

The train above is not the train from Greenwich but hopefully within the next couple of months will be. It's the South Eastern Highspeed and she's gorgeous.

This blogger works for nothing but the joy of writing but always appreciates things bought from his wishlist