Tuesday, June 24, 2008

The "Doesn't The Internet Make You Scared Of Going Out Your Door Sometimes" Post

spEak You're bRanes - Focussed mainly on some of the more retarded posters on the BBC's Have Your Say site

Fundies Say the Darndest Things! - Your brain shall explode if you read more than one page of this in one sitting.

Evolved and Rational - An atheist deals as best she can with more religious craziness...

Call centre workers Facebook group - I know that there are plenty of stories of bad customer service, but I find bad customer stories far more therapeutic. Read the posts on their discussion board and I dare you not to weep.

The Darwin Awards - An oldie but goldie. Honestly if this does not prove to you that us humans are just stupid animals and not divinely created beings then I feel you are missing the point.

Computer Stupidities - Even for those of us who only dabble with computer tech, this site will make your eyes bleed. My favourite:

I work for the computer help desk of a large university. One of our more memorable clients is infamous for what I can only describe as techno-paranoia. The last time she called to tell us we were going to have to do something about the "Internet Communists." She was convinced that they were getting into her PC through her television and putting typographical errors in her word processing files. "They weren't there before," she insisted, "and I don't make those kinds of mistakes!"


Reminds me of so many customers I've dealt with. So many of them claim that our company gets their postcode wrong. When I point out, as politely and diplomatically as possible, that we don't enter their postcode but they do, they claim that that is impossible.

A long time ago at TVW I remember hearing my least favourite colleague (Dear Constant Readers may remember David C) say to a customer who had just said "I don't make mistakes" the following ill advised gem:

DC: "Have you got a pencil there Sir?"
Cust: "Yes"
DC: "Does it have a rubber on the end of it Sir?"
Cust: "Yes"
DC: "Why do you have a pencil with a rubber on the end if you don't make mistakes?"

Shut the customer up anyway...

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